Hold Me While I'm Here
by Nitte iz
Summary: Dumbledore gives Harry an offer he can't refuse. A year at Hogwarts without constant whispering, life-threatening situations, or Voldemort. How? By taking a trip to when Marauders were still faithful and 16. !Um, make that one out of three!
1. A new arrival

-hesitantly peeks out into the Harry Potter Universe, then quickly steps in-  
Hello! I'm actually starting this story, man this feels weird. Anyway, if you check my other stories you'll see that they're all DBZ. This will probably be one of only a few HP fics I will write. Anyway, if you know a good time travel fic, tell me! I'm going to list good time travel fics at the bottom of each chapter, probably only one or two at a time with summaries.

Templa Otmena - this is for you.

Warning: this takes place right before Harry's sixth year. So Harry will be the exact same as he was at the end of fifth, except with having had the summer to grieve Sirius. Translation - Harry will have no spectacular powers, no Heir of Gryffindor stuff, no special magical pets, or crazy stories of being captured by Death eaters and then miraculously escaping.

I'll try not to focus too much on irony or foreshadowing (there's always so much temptation). No extensive Peter bashing either. But definite J/L fluff.

Disclaimer: -empties out empty pockets- Does it look like I'm getting book and movie and merchandise royalties?

So without further ado -

* * *

Hold me while I'm here –

The new arrival

* * *

_So hold me when I'm here_

_Right me when I'm wrong_

_You can hold me when I'm scared_

_You won't always be there_

_So love me when I'm gone . . ._

"When I'm gone" by 3 Doors Down

* * *

"Oh beloved Hogwarts," James breathed with a big smile. He looked over the bright decorations of the Great Hall and swarms of students and gave a contented sigh. "At last I have returned."

"We have returned," Sirius immediately corrected, pausing from his inspection of his dinner plate.

"To many more trips into the Forbidden Forest and sneaking around the school," continued the black-haired boy heedlessly.

"To many more pranks on that slimy git." There was only one, and there would only ever be one, slimy git in Sirius' mind.

"To many more visits to Hogsmeade and the kitchens." The candies of Honeydukes were already floating through Peter's mind.

"To many more nights cleaning the trophy room by hand and studying books at one in the morning." Immediately the boys swiveled their heads to their last companion in disbelief.

"Aww Moony, do you have to bring up studying?" Peter moaned while James and Sirius took on disgusted looks, as if being confronted by something truly rancid. Then again of the four seated, he was the one who always had to study just to pass.

"We are here to pull pranks, have fun, and get in loads of trouble," James said sternly.

"Not to study," Sirius finished, saying the last word like it was poison. Remus rolled his eyes, but couldn't help the corners of his mouth from turning upward. You'd never suspected that they managed to pass all their classes with flying colors. Jerks they were, but the truest friends a boy, especially a werewolf, could have.

"Then to many detentions and to even more that we should get, but never will," Remus declared. The other boys' faces immediately brightened.

"Here, here," cheered Sirius, thumping his hand on the table lustily.

"To the Marauders' sixth year," James toasted loudly, raising his glass and springing up. Each boy snatched up their glass at once and crashed them together, only the fact they were metal and not glass preventing their being shattered.

They raised the goblets to the mouths, but then paused.

"You know, this would probably be better if we actually had liquid in our cups," Remus finally said intelligently. The others nodded sagely.

* * *

Sirius eyed his plate mournfully. When would the sorting be done? It was taking an eternity. And he was starving!

"Must, have, food," he groaned like a man dying of thirst in a desert. James rolled his eyes.

"Shut it Padfoot," he muttered under his breath. "You're missing the introduction of all the new Gryffindors."

"But I'm hungry!"

James had to resist the urge to throttle his best friend, who was now doing a good impression of a whiny five-year-old. Remus pursed his lips together, holding in his laugh. Peter just shook his head.

"Look we're all hungry, but you whining about it isn't going to make it better." James' stomach rumbled in agreement.

Sirius pouted. "But I'm part dog! I need more food!"

James glanced at Remus. "If Moony can wait for food, and he's part wolf -no offense-"

"None taken," the other boy replied amicably.

"Then so can you." Sirius just slumped over his place despondently. Remus and Peter exchanged a look and couldn't help it - they burst out laughing. James simply raised his eyes to the enchanted ceiling.

"What did I do to deserve this?" he muttered dramatically. However the Headmaster chose that moment to disrupt their little show. He clinked his spoon against his goblet signaling for silence and the welcoming of new house members came to a gradual close. Sirius' head shot up.

"Food!"

Dumbledore cleared his throat. "Due to unusual circumstances, I have the pleasure of making an unprecedented announcement this evening."

"The food can't be gone!" The now frantic boy was shrugged off by his fellow Marauders, who were all intrigued by what the announcement could be and highly doubted it was about house elves revolting.

"We have the honor of welcoming an exchange student into our midst." Immediately whispers broke out.

"An exchange student?" James echoed in confusion.

"Hogwarts doesn't have exchange students," Remus muttered suspiciously. Sirius frowned at this remark, finally becoming, well, serious.

"This happens to be a rather usual occurrence in the muggle world, and so I have decided that Hogwarts should take in a trial student. This student has been at a local wizard school nearby and will spend exactly one school year here. He is in his sixth year and will now be sorted."

"Sixth year?" The boys looked at each other.

"You don't think he'll be put in Gryffindor," Peter wondered, speaking the thought they were all thinking, "do you?"

Dumbledore gave a hand gesture that was evidently a sign. All eyes went to the grand door of the hall, which slowly opened. And there he was.

His height was indeterminable from where they were sitting, but best estimate was probably about James' height. His voluminous robes hid any details of his body, though they were loose enough for one to guess that he was rather lithe. His eyes were a brilliant green and partly obscured by the boy's bangs. His blond bangs. After a second, the boy's hand nervously lifted as if to brush them out of his eyes, but sank back down without doing so. Taking a deep breath the boy swept down between the house tables, igniting a roar of whispers. He ignored them, as if from much practice, and finally made his way to the Sorting seat. As he tentatively placed the hat on his head, the swell of murmurs died down and in that moment his eyes meet James'.

James couldn't put his finger on the emotions that played in the boy's eyes, for scarcely was one there then it disappeared for another to replace it. In the back of his head though he couldn't help wonder: why did the boy seem tantalizingly familiar? Just as James' head began to ache, the boy's eyes dropped.

After a moment he realized the boy's lips were moving and he was frowning. He cocked his head. "Is he arguing with the hat?" he muttered.

"If he is, I like him already." James jumped. He'd forgotten his friends were still there. Sirius didn't notice, his eyes intently trained on the boy on the hot seat. "Not letting the hat force him into a house he doesn't want," he muttered. "I did something like that to avoid Slytherin." Remus arched an eyebrow; so that's how Sirius had avoided the fate of the rest of the Black clan. Peter gaped. Argue with the hat? You didn't argue with objects with that much power!

James refocused his eyes on the boy and was surprised to find him clutching his wand and muttering darkly. Whatever the hat was saying, the boy was not agreeing. He leaned forward, rising slightly from his seat, to see if he could tell what the boy was saying. So what if he'd never learned how to read lips? Unfortunately, in his preoccupation, James neglected to remember that there were many plates on the table he was using to support him - plates that did not like being leaned on. And with just a little accidental nudge from his best friend, he fell sprawled face down into the middle of banquet table with a resounding crash.

Okay, his friends were never going to let him live this down.

Sirius was on the floor, rolling as his barking laugh propelled him back and forth. Remus was holding the table as he tried to control himself - and failing miserably one might add. Peter, after staring in shock for one second, was laughing so hard he was close to wetting himself.

None of them noticed the way the boy's eyes latched unto them, drinking in the sight of their carefree merriment with a desperate thirst. Or the way a sneaky smile crept unto his face, his hand loosening from his wand, as the hat seemed to finally tell him something he wanted. They however did notice the loud final pronouncement of the Sorting Hat.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

Sirius managed to drag himself off the floor and the others resumed their seats, James red-faced and the others still snickering, as Dumbledore, a smile tugging at his mouth, swept over to the boy and removed the hat. He then led the boy to where the Marauders were arranged.

"Boys, I'd like you to meet your new roommate - Harry Patterson."

And as they surveyed each other, all including Dumbledore had the exact same thought, a feat that would never happen again.

'This is going to be a very interesting year.'

* * *

Did I freak out anybody with the blond hair? It'll be explained next chapter, which will be Harry's side of the story. I was going to include it in this chapter, but I put in so much Marauder fluff, it wouldn't have fit.

Update in a week or less. About the song - I'll be putting up bits & pieces as I feel they fit. I was actually torn between naming this what I did or 'Love me when I'm gone.'

Toodles!

Nitte iz


	2. A chance

Okay so shout-outs:  
To all reviewers wondering about a blond hair, the explanation is here. Sa-chan 5, GinnylovesHarry, jaycee, oh and Duchessa - you bet that Harry isn't totally thrilled with his new hair color either.  
To Jenn Lynne, the argument with the hat is included.  
To Sorceress-of-Sangolia, I'm bad with thinking up names. I guess I just picked Patterson because it's close to Potter and I haven't really ever seen a great other last name for Harry.  
To Siriussadenedlover, I wasn't going to reveal this til later, but I plan on making this a canon work. That means, it would work in the series i.e. Harry is not changing the past! In the sequel maybe . . . Ack! I'm on my second chapter and already talking about a sequel!!  
Thanks Templa Otmena for your recommendations!! AriaStar is definitely one I will post, it's so great!  
And thank you TheAntisocials (thank goodness you're not too antisocial starts snickering and reviewers sweatdrop thanks for the compliment, but the song really does go!), Bekah, siri-padfoot, I-love- sirius73, Kurbani (I like that name!), Geminia, LittleEar BigEar's sis (inside joke I'm guessing?), Savi2070, Mz MALfOY, BloodRedSword, and LilyE.  
To Achilles 4 - I just looked back and realized I didn't mention Lily at all in the chapter!! But never fear, she will be mentioned this time around. Besides, why do you think James was trying to pay attention so hard, maybe to impress a certain young lady? wink

Disclaimer: sees a shooting star I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I make this nigh - wait, it's day. Aw shucks, I guess I still don't own Harry Potter.

Okay, so on with the show -

* * *

Hold me while I'm here -  
Chapter 2: A chance

* * *

Pacing.

He'd never figured on having that as a nervous habit. In fact, he had never seen the appeal in going back and forth, back and forth over the same strip of ground over and over again. How could that possibly be calming?

Yet here he was, finding out the appeal first hand. Back and forth. Back and forth. He stopped at the doors to the Great Hall and cocked his head. Nope, the Hat was still sorting. When would it be done? It was taking an eternity - but then again that might not be so bad. He turned and made another circuit.

This was insane! What on earth had possessed him to agree to Dumbledore's offer? Oh right, the promise of not being famous for a year. None of the whispers, pointed stares. None of the rumors that he might not be perfectly sane. Not having everyone know him and either adore him or hate him. Not having Snape as a teacher. No pains or visions from Voldemort or fears that he was thinking up yet another plan to kill him or someone close to him. No more being his mood detecter! He would be anonymous, simply a new student. It was more normalcy than he had ever experienced in his life as the 'incurably criminal' cousin of Dudley or the famous Harry Potter. And then, being able to see Them. Sirius when he was happy and free! And his parents . . .

His pace picked up. In a few minutes, he would see them! For the first time in his life! A lump developed in his throat and furiously he whipped out the mirror that Mrs. Weasley, (was it?), gave him.

Emerald eyes stared back at him, unencumbered by glasses, framed with bushy blond hair. He rubbed the bridge of his nose wistfully. He had never realized how attached he had become to them . . . Hermione had recommended contacts for his eyes, though he had balked at changing his eye color. It was enough they had insisted on him changing his hair color to blond, by hair dye since a spell could be detected. Brown had been nixed as being to close to black. No they needed a color that would be a dramatic difference - one that make no one recognize the startling resemblance he bore to a certain James Potter. Red had also been decided against: Hermione and Dumbledore had worried that it might bring out some hidden likeness to his mother, while Ron had been convinced that someone would mistake him for some long-lost cousin of the Weasleys. Harry hadn't really seen another wrong with the latter misconception, but he had been overruled and so it was a blond boy he saw in the mirror. He frowned. Well they had succeeded in his disguise; if anything he looked related to Malfoy.

He immediately slipped the mirror into his pocket, his face paling slightly. It definitely was not the time to think like that, if he wanted to get into Gryffindor . . .

At least he wouldn't have to worry about any Malfoys. Lucius apparently had graduated a few years prior. However, he would still have to face Severus Snape. He began to pace again. It would be interesting having his Potions professor as his classmate, probably as disagreeable as ever, but at least he wouldn't be able to take away House points. His mind sifted through the others Dumbledore had mentioned would be in this time. Avery, Evan Rosier, Rodolphus Lestrange. No Bellatrix Lestrange thankfully, though she'd still be a Black at this point in time. His hands fisted. It was a good thing. It would take more than he had not to hex her into the next century. He could still see Sirius falling . . .

He made a rather violent turn to continue pacing. Not that the Slytherin table was the only place he would have to show restraint. Wormtail, the traitor. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to separate the sixteen-year-old Peter Pettigrew from the spineless 'faithful' servant of Voldemort. The image of Wormtail cradling his bloody stump of an arm was a sight that Harry would never forget. It was going to be hard enough to not blurt out the truth to his parents, without the ever-present reminder of the man he'd spared only for the darkest wizard in history to rise again.

He stopped his pacing and rubbed his temples, straining his ears for a sign that it was time to go into the Great Hall. He had had to solemnly swear to Dumbledore that he would say nothing. He wasn't sure whom he had hated more at that moment: Dumbledore for making him make such a promise, or himself for being so desperate to just see his parents and Sirius that he had agreed.

But what was done was done. He had a whole year 'til he had to deal with the final consequences of such a promise. And now, it was time to make his grand entrance. The clinking of Dumbledore's goblet had stopped and by now the Headmaster's arm was raised toward the door he was behind.

Before he lost courage and gave into the temptation to bolt the other way, he pushed the large door fully open. He almost recoiled as every eye in the Great Hall turned towards him. Suddenly he was eleven again, and everyone was marveling at the fact 'Harry Potter's come to Hogwarts!' Instinctively his hand rose to make sure the scar that announced his identity wasn't revealed, but he quickly caught himself. He was just another student, a little older than the norm, and that was all. He quickly made his way through the tables, ignoring the stares and whispers from years of similar treatment and willing himself not to look at the Marauders. He was too much a bundle of nerves and he couldn't trust himself to not show some dramatic reaction. However he couldn't help but notice a flash of deep red hair at the Gryffindor table and his eyes turned without permission. Female, red hair, green eyes peering intently at him. His heart constricted and he had trouble keeping his pace steady. Later. He would see her, later, he resolved.

The Hat sat imperiously on the stool, but Harry was too otherwise occupied to be intimidated. He put it on with only a slight pause and then swiveled to face the House tables, only to have his eyes lock with James.

His father. It was looking into a mirror . . . except for his eyes. His father. Seeing him in the flesh for the first time. His father. Died when he was one. His father. Betrayed by one of his closest friends. His father. Gryffindor chaser. His father. Arrogant, conceited. His father. Willing to break the law and possibly kill himself just to bring comfort to his werewolf friend. His father. Hexing Snape unmercifully. His father. Prongs, the prankster. His father. Green light - Avada Kedavra.

Harry's heart throbbed painfully in his chest, as random thoughts and images whirled like a kaleidoscope amid the mantra of 'my father' in his brain.

'Slytherin, yes, Slytherin would do well.'

It took Harry a second to realize the thought wasn't his own. In fact it was coming from the forgotten Hat upon his head. He dropped his eyes to the ground, knowing that focusing on the Sorting Hat would be hard while staring into his future father's eyes.

"Slytherin?" he muttered. "No way," he stated flat out. There was a pause - the Hat seemed surprised that it had finally gotten a response from the boy wearing it.

'Oh and why not? You would do well there, plenty of power and cunning.' If Harry hadn't known better, he would've thought the Hat was goading him.

"I'm not like those pure blood-lovers!" he hissed. The Hat chuckled in his head condescendingly. Harry had a feeling the Hat wasn't convinced.

'They're not that bad and they would definitely put you on the way to greatness,' it answered mildly.

Harry gritted his teeth, trying to thwart the sinking feeling in his chest. If the Hat announced him as Slytherin he could kiss all his dreams of Marauding good-bye. It had to be the stupid hair - another Malfoy ick. "If you put me in there, I'll, I'll hex you," he threatened desperately and trying not to consider the ridiculousness of the idea. The Hat snorted, obviously realizing it itself.

CRASH! Harry's eyes jumped from the floor and he had to restrain himself from breaking out in laughter at the sight of his father spread- eagle on his house table. However almost immediately his green eyes fixed hungrily on Sirius and Remus. Laughing. Carefree. He'd never seen them so, so unrestrained. No shadows of grief, loneliness, horror unimaginable. The nostalgic smiles they had given when he had talked to them after seeing into Snape's pensieve - they were nothing compared to this. Vaguely he wondered if they had just pranked his father, like the Marauders they were.

Pranked . . . Marauders . . . pranking . . . Hat?

"I'll give you to the Marauders to prank," he suddenly blurted out, re-focusing on the Hat with startling speed. For some reason, he didn't doubt that the Hat knew about the Marauders. The utter silence that greeted his remark seemed to affirm this. To help the Hat decide, he concentrated on images of the hat in outrageous hot purple and orange, polka-dotted and filled to the brim with white rabbits.

'Honestly,' the Hat huffed, apparently ruffled by the pictures. 'I wouldn't put you in that house if you really didn't want to go.' A gloating smile began to emerge on Harry's face. 'And if you want Marauders so bad . . .'

"GRYFFINDOR!" Harry rose in triumph, but a slight whisper made him pause in taking off the Hat. 'Just remember - each house has its traitor.'

Harry had little time to ponder the remark for Dumbledore immediately took the Hat and began to lead him over to the Marauders, who were now picking themselves off the ground.

And then he was before them - his father, his best friend from a dark family, his werewolf best friend, and his future betrayer best friend. Hazel eyes, black eyes, brown eyes, and blue eyes all focused on him. Harry managed a weak smile.

"Boys, I'd like you to meet your new roommate - Harry Patterson."

This was definitely going to be a very interesting year.

* * *

I was thinking about extending it past this point, but the update's already late. I already have plans for the next chapter, so it should be up soon. cross fingers I still have to write the next chapter for SOTF, though too.

Sorry about the lack of humor - the next chapter should have some more, but this will probably have an equal dose of angst as this chapter showed.

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-Turning Time Around- by AriaStar!! This is a classic time- travel story, which everyone should read! A very interesting go into the future, go into the past, and change everything story! However - not for absolute Peter haters. (Sidenote: read all of her stuff, Snapdragon & Prongs and any of her Remus stuff is awesome!) Complete

This one I just found on my own: -The Guardian- by CasstheCurious. It's well-developed and intriguing thus far. In Progress

And my non-time travel wonderful HP fic of the update: -HandMeDown Clothes- by Quillitch -previously Whisper. So adorable!! Six year old Harry is taken from the Dursleys once Dumbledore discovers their mistreatment of the boy. Just a really cute fic!

Toodles for now!

Nitte iz


	3. Never give a dog a treat

-peeks into HP universe and then ducks out, narrowly avoiding a deluge of rotten tomatoes. Sticks an arm in, waving a white flag.-

Shoutouts:  
To Kurbani, what happened?  
To Duchessa, I wouldn't know about the blonds having more fun (I'm a brunette myself) - but it also hit me that none of the Marauders or Lily were blond. Well now one is! (Or at least will be . . .) Oh and I read Coexistence - Woah! Talk about not cliché, the story's bloodly brillant!! Thanks for the recommendation; it's so hard to find specific good fics on this site.  
To Sorceress-of-Sangolia, -sweat drop- isn't it wonderful that I updated? Oh and what is Sangolia?  
Thanks LittleEar BigEar's sis, I-love-sirius73 (are there 72 others? Hmm, I'm probably like 203), Templa Otmena (always a joy to read your reviews!), James-Padfoot, LilyE, jack4, The Vampire Story Hunter (I'm honored, but just a warning - neither Harry nor anyone else is going to turn into a vampire, sorry), Felion, and Sesaru (I like that name - I love original conglomerations like that!).  
To overworked, I thought you needed a special mention. I want to start more fics at the same time as the ones I have, because they're both going to be long and I don't want to wait til they're finished. But you're doing it!! Major kudos!! Good luck and I promise that I will not discontinue this fic. Go into hiding when I hit writer's block for three months, but discontinue no!!  
Oh and I just remembered two good reasons for Patterson. First, Patter's son - Potter's son. Isn't that so original? (I am being sarcastic, but still) Second, this other great fic -Only Time- uses his last name as Patterson.

Disclaimer: Synonyms - rider, proviso, qualification, repudiation, provision, condition, stipulation, requirement, criterion, clause, specification, prerequisite, denial.  
In simple terms - I don't own Harry Potter.

* * *

Hold me while I'm here -  
Never give a dog a treat

* * *

Fantastic, there was another Gryffindor sixth year. But was he Marauder material? This was the question on all the current Marauders' minds, at least most of them.

James cocked his head, trying to examine the new boy unnoticeably - something he was finding difficult considering how used he was to constantly trying to attract attention.

Remus found such a task easier, in the habit of observing from the background.

Peter picked up on their surveillance and nervously darted glances at him, suddenly wary of their new roommate though he wasn't really sure why.

Sirius was too absorbed in satiating his doggy tummy to worry about the new kid at the moment.

The boy in question however, seemed oblivious to the eyes, blatantly or not, watching his every movement, keeping his eyes fixed on his plate.

In reality, Harry was completely aware of their gazes and it made his insides twist. Of course, the fact that he was eating with his dead father, dead godfather, and the one who was basically responsible for their deaths didn't help his digestion at all either.

He didn't dare look up. As soon as Dumbledore had presented his opportunity, Harry had tried to mentally prepare himself. Don't stare at James. Don't stare at Sirius. Don't glare at Peter. Don't hex Peter. Don't accidentally call any of the Marauders by their nicknames. Don't call them the Marauders. Don't start crying. For the love of all that's good, do NOT start crying!

But they were alive! He toyed with his food, half-heartedly trying to force it by the huge lump in his throat. He just wanted them to talk - to hear Sirius say anything and his father... to hear his father speak, without it being hissing at Snape.

"So I'm James." Harry nearly jumped out of his chair. His eyes flying up, green met hazel as his father apparently decided to finally take the direct route. "James Potter." Harry reminded himself to breath - wait, was he supposed to answer? "The boy going prematurely gray on your right is Remus Lupin. Weasel eyes on your further right would be Peter Pettigrew. And the boy wolfing down his food next to me," here James gestured with his thumb and Sirius looked up, his cheeks full, "is Sirius Black, the white sheep in the Black family." Sirius frowned at this comment, looking so much like an irritated chipmunk that Harry had to bite his lower lip to keep from laughing.

"Or at least the Gryffindor dog in the Slytherin pack of wolves," Remus suggested absentmindedly, his lips twitching. Sirius seemed to consider this and finally nodded his head doggedly. They all lost it then, Harry's laughter mingling with the rest. It had been a long time since he had been able to laugh and it felt really good. To tell the truth, even if the joke wasn't that funny, at least it served to break the nervous tension hanging over the table - especially around Harry. His tension seemed to melt away and he hoped that no one had noticed his wince when James had mentioned Peter. He had picked his spot specifically so Peter would be as far as possible as well as out of his line of sight, Sirius and James occupying it instead.

"And I'm Harry Po-atterson," he finished the introductions, catching his slip before it was too late. Ack, he had to remember that! Well, at least they had the same first letter or else he'd be a goner.

James nodded. "So we gathered from Dumbledore. What school were you going to before?"

"Mclington's School for Muggleborn Witches and Wizards," Harry recited from memory. He'd been drilled on his history so much he bet he could recite it in his sleep. And it was a real school too - if anyone was curious or obsessive enough to look it up. He had passed the nervous stage - it all felt rather surreal, like he was having some kind of hallucination. Part of him was still screaming 'Dad! SIRIUS! WORMTAIL!', but the other half was whispering, this is nice, they're... like me.

All eyes immediately focused on him. Remus was the one to articulate the question in their minds though, mildly at ever. "So you're Muggleborn?"

"My mum was one," Harry said shortly. Without thinking, his eyes flicked down the long House table. Which reminded him, where was she? Later, he reminded himself, disciplining his gaze back to those in front of him. He had to contend with the Marauders first, and dealing with one future dead parent was quite enough at the moment.

A pause followed, James and the others seeming uncomfortable at the past tense.

"Um, so were you expelled from it?" The glint in James' eye showed no malice, rather the mischievousness sniffing about of another troublemaker. Harry was about to give a quick 'of course not,' then paused.

"Actually no, though I have come close several times." Hmm, breaking even more rules in second year, the blowing up of his Aunt Marge, the Dementor fiasco last year when he'd actually been thrown out!, and ah yes, the joys of having Umbridge as a Headmistress. Expulsion probably would've been pleasurable compared to that, he brooded internally distinctly oblivious to the eager and awed looks around the table.

"Why?" he blinked, brought back to reality. Looking at James' enthusiastic face, he felt a keen pain. He couldn't tell them... at least not yet.

"Circumstances," he replied evasively. James' face dropped. However, Sirius quickly changed the subject equally interesting to him.

"Saw you arguing with the Hat. Where'd it want to put you?" Harry froze for a second, then opened his mouth as if to explain. He couldn't tell them Slytherin!

"Well, - is that a blackberry treacle tart?"

Harry was hoping for a distraction. Sirius loved those tarts. What he got however, exceeded his wildest expectations. How could he have known that both James and Sirius loved them?

And you never get between a hungry teenage boy and his favorite desert.

He watched it in slow motion: two arms lunging at the delicacy, the bodies attached propelling themselves after once they had realized the other was going for the same thing. And unfortunately, James once again fell victim to vindictive plates and the law of gravity. It had been embarrassing before, but all good and well seeing as the plates were empty. This time they were full - and he landed face first in a cream pie.

Sirius, victoriously lifting the tart, was laughing too hard to realize his best friend was lifting himself off the table. Neither did he notice his friend narrowing his eyes upon spotting the tart in his hand. But he did notice when he received a plateful of cold chocolate pudding straight to the face.

"FOOD FIGHT!"

Harry wasn't sure who said it, but the effects were instantaneous. The entire room erupted in food-flinging chaos.

Well, he reflected, dodging an airborne lemon custard and watching his father and Sirius wrestle for the blackberry treacle tart on the splattered floor, this was memorable.

And wasn't that why he'd come?

* * *

Anyway, next chapter: Sirius' guide to school touring, and an actual encounter with Lily -gasp-.

Advertisments: -_Only Time_- by Rynne Lupin. Excellent story with Harry as the guy's seventh year DADA teacher. Very, almost sweet, fic.

-_Coexistence_- by darkcyan. Incredible and when I say no clichés, I mean it! Unbelievable A/U work, from the graveyard in GoF onward. Voldemort's completely wiped out and Harry... well, this isn't exactly what he expected as the backlash. Warning: the author's given a slash warning, which I'm not into, but so far, I haven't really noticed anything.

And this time featuring fabulous Snape humor fics:

-_The Greasy Git of Hogwarts_- by Hime D. Hilarious - Snape enlists Remus' help to clean up his image.

-_Snaps of Severus_- by Athalia. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! -cough- Sorry, this fic is simply side-splitting. And yes, the idea was taken from Legally Blond 2 - Severus and the snap cup. -bursts out laughing again- (wonderful and unpredictable ending by the way too)

Gotta go now!

Toodles!

Nitte iz


	4. And never follow a dog's directions

Thanks to y'all! Pablo5280, LittleEar BigEar's sis, Marauder chick, Athenia McGonagall, Tropic, delciousweasley (which one? Personally, I thought Bill was cool), shdurrani (cool name), Unhealthily-Obsessed (I know what you mean), Stating-the-obvious, Gwenyvere, Joots, alicia6 (glad to hear I've addicted someone! Er, that didn't sound right), Shinigami-chan, kimmerz, Enna seawave (thanks for checking out His mother's eyes), LadySiri (everyone has such cool names!? pouts at screen name Nitte iz), wanderingwolf (hmm, that's a fascinating idea), I-love-sirus73, Melissa, LunaMoon7, sweet775, Kurbanit, Keitorin (-blushes at compliments-), loonyluna1 (well the shorter the chapters, the faster the update), Doneril, jaycee, and Sesaru.

Facade1, I know what you mean about the getting new powers. Rowling takes such pains to emphasis that Harry isn't this super wizard, just one with a good heart, courage, resourcefulness, and loyal friends.

To Duchessa, I just did my homework! (of course I should probably do it before I write) Peter had balding, 'colorless' hair according to PoA and his hair is described in the Pensieve chapter of OotP as mousy - so I'll take that to mean brown. Now Harry doesn't seem very 'marauderish' but then again he's never really had the chance - nor any Marauders to teach him. -hint, hint- Um, I guarantee that Lily will not fall for Harry, though he will help her figure out what she feels for a certain other Potter. Fics I like? I'm not very picky, I just gave up on J/L fics because there were already like 50 pages when I first looked and then 52 when I checked the next day. I'm mostly a romance, action/adventure, angst kind of girl. Figures I would write an angst humor fic. I'll have to reserve time to read your recommendations also. I do have a taste for dark alternate dimension crossings, but I binged when I found them and man, it can freak you out after reading one too many.  
Thank you for rambling!! (And _The Rules Have Changed_ is one of my fav B/Vs, thus of course why it's on my fav story list. Okay, I'll shut up now.)

Hmm, anything else? Oh, this chapter should be better than the last. I was so surprised by the response! To tell the truth, I didn't even like the last one that much.

Disclaimer: see all those reviewers above? They're commenting on my FANfiction. Get the picture?

* * *

Hold Me While I'm Here-

Never follow a dog's directions

* * *

"Welcome to Hogwarts Harry!" James exclaimed gustily, beaming as he heavily threw his arm around Harry. The slighter boy tried to not cringe at the squishy sound James' robes made against his relatively clean ones. He had been able to avoid the worst of the food fight. He'd never realized just how useful all those defense spells could be, not to mention the practice he'd had last year during the chaotic months after the twins' departure.

Peter had also escaped rather unscathed, probably due to either animagus powers or cowering underneath a table. Harry wasn't happy with the association and the back of Peter's robes still bore signs of the salvaged lemon custard that Harry had 'accidentally' catapulted at him.

Remus was not really clean or really dirty, coated with a fine powdered sugar and honey glaze, portraying perfectly the attitude that made him both bookworm and Marauder.

James and Sirius on the other hand, looked like they had just stepped off a desert war field, which was actually pretty close to the truth. Absolutely dripping with creams, pastry scraps, various berry fillings, and unidentified fluids, the boys could not be more ecstatic. Well, actually James was slightly happier: he hadn't gotten the treacle tart, but then again - neither had Sirius.

"I think that's gotta be the record for stirring up trouble," Sirius grinned with maniacal glee. "One hour!" Despite his canine sorrow for the waste of so much food, he couldn't help but glow with the accomplishment - even if he was not necessarily the cause of it.

"I should've known it would be you guys." Harry abruptly stopped breathing at the sight of indignant dark red haired girl who stormed over, and was presently alternating her glare between Sirius and James. "Really, how could you Potter!"

James gave a lopsided grin. "Awww Evans, it was just a bit of fun. And in all honesty, we weren't the ones who called the fight." Innocent grins pasted themselves on each face, except of course the frozen Harry. Lily frowned, but to her knowledge the quartet had never denied to any mischief they had done. Instead they took the blame quite proudly. She shook her head and turned to the boy under James' arm.

"I'm Lily Evans," she said forcefully, too riled to be very nice and stuck out her hand. "You must be the new Gryffindor," her tone gentled a little, registering Harry's wide eyes. He gulped and nodded stiffly, forcing himself to take her hand.

His mother's hand - she had died for him. Lily Evans, Petunia's sister. Sister of his awful aunt whom he was supposed to be with right then. Not at Hogwarts - where he saw her in the Erised mirror in first year and Dumbledore told him that if he lived in the past, he would waste the future. But he was living in the past...

His thoughts became disjointed and he barely had the presence of mind to stop shaking hands.

"I'm Harry Patterson." He wasn't quite sure how that managed to get out of his extremely dry mouth. She nodded.

"Well, I hope you have a good year. I should warn you though - don't get involved with these miscreants!" She finished her speech with one last glare at James and turned on her heel.

His mother... she was alive and - here.

Sirius snorted. "Doesn't look like the Lily flower has softened up much over the summer Prongs." James stiffened slightly, his arm tightening on Harry's shoulder.

"Don't know what you mean, -Sirius-." Harry stiffened internally. He couldn't tell them, they couldn't trust him... at least not yet.

"I find it rather interesting she remarked on our hygiene." Everyone looked blankly at the official nerd. "Miscreants used to refer to unwashed - oh never mind." Remus huffed, upon realization that the guys were staring at him in incredulity not curiosity.

"Talking about unwashed..." James caught sight of a Slytherin who, despite his usual greasiness, looked entirely too clean in his opinion and slid his arm off of Harry. Sirius caught sight of Snape at the same time and smirked, both boys beginning to stalk their unsuspecting prey, fingering their wands. After only a few steps, James looked back out of habit to see if the others were following, only to meet Harry's green eyes. He halted, his arm shooting out to stop Sirius as well. "Sirius, could you distract Harry for us?" he whispered, carefully noting where Snape was heading.

"What?" Sirius hissed in consternation. "Why can't Remus?" James blinked, a plan forming in his mind.

"No, I'm going to need him." He took a step away and smiled charmingly back at the other boys. "Hey Remus could you come here? I need you."

"What am I supposed to do with him?" His black haired best friend whispered in a last ditch attempt to salvage his chance to prank Snivellus.

James shrugged. "Take him on a school tour, whatever. Just make sure he doesn't follow us." He smiled at Remus who was looking at James with a 'dare I ask?' look. They walked off, James muttering into Remus' ear with a wide grin.

Scowling, Sirius turned around to confront Harry who was looking curiously after the other two Marauders. Wait! There were three . . . Where was that rat when you needed him? Sirius quickly scanned around for the last member of the infamous quartet, only to find him slinking after James and Remus and disappearing around the corner.

Damn.

He smiled fakely at the now insanely curious Harry. "Um, so let's go on a school tour!" He bounded up to Harry and all but hauled him off in the opposite direction. Or at least tried.

"But shouldn't we go to Gryffindor tower? I thought there was a curfew or something," Harry protested. Sirius laughed recklessly.

"We're sixth years. Come on, live a little!"

Harry would've continued to resist if it hadn't clicked. Snape, duh! He let Sirius drag him onward. He wasn't sure he could stomach the sight of his father tormenting Snape yet.

* * *

If anybody had asked Harry if getting a school tour from a Marauder would be fun a few days ago, he would've enthusiastically shouted 'Yes!' But now...

Hogwarts had never seemed so dull.

Sirius had never seemed so dull.

Of course, Harry reflected, he had always imagined Sirius personally showing him all the secret passages, hidden doorways, and places that held so many memories of the Marauders.

Icy fingers curled around his heart. But that would've been his Sirius, and that was no longer possible.

He sighed and glanced at this Sirius. Already he was mentally separating the two, springing up a barrier to distinguish between the two. Yes, this was merely a younger version, but he was different. Being alive obviously the first big difference, but this one had never been guilty of trusting the wrong friend, spent years in Azkaban, escaped there, or been trapped in his family's horrid house. He wasn't Harry's godfather, not really.

The same division was happening between the future James and Remus and their past counterparts. If he kept thinking of them as the same, he'd go insane.

Dead, yet alive. Alone, and yet with friends.

And Peter... he was Peter, not Wormtail, but beyond that Harry will himself not to consider.

Traitor, yet loyal.

So he couldn't really blame Sirius for his simply awful tour. The boy didn't realize he would love to see all the hidden passages nor trusted him enough to show them, and frankly was too aggravated that he was missing a chance to prank Snivellus to give even a half-decent tour. Tromping aimlessly along their fifth hallway while Sirius still brooded in silence, Harry decided it would be a good time for a bathroom break. But he couldn't act like he knew where it was...

"Um, Sirius?" The boy in question jumped, obviously surprised that the new boy finally had something to say.

"What?"

"Could you point me to a bathroom?" Sirius smirked slightly.

"Sure, go down the next hallway and take the fourth doorway to the right." Harry raised an eyebrow at these instructions, but obediently proceeded down the hallway alone. As soon as he turned the corner, Sirius' smirk turned into a full-blown mischievous grin. Whistling now, he turned around and barely got around the corner when he stumbled upon the rest of his gang.

James was leaning on Remus for support; both boys laughing so hard tears were coming out of their eyes. Peter was actually on the floor in a fit of hysterics. Blinking owlishly, James recognized his best friend's frowning face and lurched over to him.

"Blue! Dancing purple pastries!" he sputtered and burst out laughing again, the halls echoing with his raucous laughter. After a moment, he calmed down enough for a full sentence. "Oh Padfoot, you should've been there!" He wiped his eyes.

"Well I would've been there if you hadn't sent me off to baby sit the new kid," Sirius growled back, crossing his arms. James paused at this, suddenly realizing that Sirius was alone - and he wasn't supposed to be.

"Speaking of Harry, where is he?" A roguish grin slowly crept unto Sirius' face.

"Oh, I sent him off to get to know the school better." Remus immediately came to attention.

"What? You know how complex this school is, he's going to get lost!" Worry began to fill his eyes.

Sirius waved his hand dismissively. "You're such a worrywart Moony. I know where he is. Or at least, in theory." There was something in his confident tone, relaxed manner . . . James looked at his best friend suspiciously.

"That means you sent him off to somewhere specific," he said slowly. "Sirius what did you do?"

"Oh, he asked for the bathroom so I sent him two corridors down, fourth door to the right," Sirius answered casually. Each Marauder processed this, Peter's face scrunching in hard thought as he picked himself off the floor.

James figured it out first. "The disappearing cupboard?!" He looked torn between disapproval and amusement. Remus' face whitened.

"Are you insane?!" he hissed. "He could be missing for months, not to mention we have no idea where he might pop up!" Sirius shrugged.

"He's a dull prat. I mean, he actually wanted to go back to the tower because he thought there was a curfew!" Remus gritted his teeth and advanced on the other boy.

"This is so like you Sirius, to play your sick jokes without considering the potentially dangerous consequences!" he lashed out angrily.

There was dead silence as both boys glared at each other, eye to eye. Any amusement vanished from James' face and Peter shifted uncomfortably. Then without another word, Remus brushed by his friend and stalked off in the direction of the cupboard.

The remembrance of Sirius' last failed prank on Snape still lent a bitter taste to the air.

Avoiding Sirius' defensive glare, James followed. Sirius scowled darkly and then turned to Peter. "Well, let's go, you bloody rat," he rumbled roughly, before reluctantly trailing behind his friends.

They walked in a tense silence until they finally arrived at the cupboard. Yes, at the cupboard. They stared at the wooden door in abject mystification. Remus blinked in confusion and exchanged a puzzled look with James. The cupboard always disappeared once one entered it - thus its name obviously. He glanced back at Sirius whose dark look had faded into bewilderment.

"Why's the door still here?" Peter finally squeaked. James frowned.

"Maybe it didn't work... but that could still mean that Harry's stuck in there." They pondered this for a second before both Remus and James turned their gaze on Sirius. He blinked before understanding their attention.

"Oh no! I am not going in there!" Remus' eyes narrowed slightly.

"You are the one who told him where to find it," he said deceptively calm. Sirius scowled, but found no help in James' unsympathetic face. He turned to Peter who at once backed away.

"I can't go in there," he pleaded in a miserable voice, his forehead beginning to shine with sweat. He wrung his hands nervously - and not without reason. The unfortunate choice of the which cupboard the Slytherins wanted to stuff him into, Peter's weeklong vanishing had first alerted the Marauders to the cupboard's true abilities. He did not fancy going back into it.

Sirius scowled deeper, muttering coward under his breath. Dramatically straightening, he strode to the door and with only the slightest pause, opened it.

When nothing happened, the other three quickly circled around with Peter keeping a respectful distance. The cupboard was empty. Remus scratched his head.

"What-"

"Sirius?"

Sirius spun around so fast that he lost his balance. Flailing wildly, he began to fall into the cupboard in slow motion.

"AHHHHHHHHH!"

Instantaneously both Remus and James grabbed a thrashing arm and saved him. Precariously hanging from the grip of his two best friends, Sirius looked straight across the hall into Harry's startled eyes.

"Harry," squeaked Peter, surprisingly the only one able to speak. It was one of his few talents: the ability to talk under pressure, a talent that had actually saved the Marauders from quite a few tight predicaments. "What-what are you doing here?" He licked his dry lips.

Harry had to bite his lip to keep from laughing at their wide eyes. He almost felt a tinge of guilt for scaring Sirius, but honestly, the boy had tried to make him disappear! If he hadn't already known about the cupboard, he could've ended up stuck in a toilet a month later like Montague. It wasn't a pleasant thought. He shrugged off the eerie flashback of Sirius falling, with no friends to stop him...

"Well I followed the corridor and came to the fourth door," he thumbed the room behind him and paused for dramatic effect. "on the left, but it's not a bathroom." Their stares were blanker than a thrice washed chalkboard. He innocently cocked his head at them. "Why, what's wrong?" Oh yes, he was evil.

Realizing how ridiculous they must look gaping at him after their dramatic 'rescue' of Sirius, Remus finally regained himself and smiled benignly. "Nothing. About the bathroom," he dug an elbow into Sirius. "Sirius mixed up this floor with another." Abruptly dropping Sirius unto the ground, he inadvertently caused James to collapse unto to him, being unprepared to hold up all of Sirius' bulk. Harry winced, but Remus ignored the commotion. "How about we go to the Gryffindor tower? You can go to the bathroom there." He quickly led Harry away, calling after his friends to hurry up or they'd be locked out of the tower all night.

Sirius groaned and shoved James off of him. He heard left instead of right? No way. There was something fishy going on...

"There's something up with that new guy," he muttered. "Mistaking left for right, my arse." James laughed.

"Ever the suspicious one Padfoot. One day it'll land you in major trouble, just 'cuz you suspected the wrong person." Sirius raised an eyebrow, his face darkening.

"And your lack of suspicion will get you killed one day Prongs. By a 'friend' nonetheless."

Peter tittered nervously, catching both boys' attention. "Let's just go back to the tower," he pleaded, clearly perturbed by their subject of conversation.

And so they did.

* * *

Your reviews inspired me sooo much! It is amazing to have your number of reviews double in like one day though!

Next time: Remus' notebook and an interlude where the Marauders debate over Harry: Sirius' got a theory about the new kid. Also you'll find out what exactly James did to Snape.

* * *

And advertisements for today:

-_Meetings of Marauders_- by Whiskey. This has been recommended twice now! Fred's gone back to the days of the Marauders only knowing half the truth. Then Harry drops in and well - now people are starting to piece together the future and it might not be pretty. I just finished reading the update!! This fic is a must read!! -In Progress-  
(Actually this fic inspired me with the whole human hierarchy versus pack hierarchy. The clash between Sirius and Remus above is an example of such.)

-_CAUTION: Marauders Traveling_- by aroar11. This is a starting fic, but it's absolutely adorable and looks very promising! Marauders come forward. -In Progress-

And for HP/LL lovers, cheers (we've got to stick together, so many H/Gers out there! And Luna would've been so cute with Harry!) and these two fics:

-_Luna's Year, Part I_- by michelle-31a. Fascinating action adventure take of sixth year, with much participation of Luna. I'm not usually a fan of such, but her writing just drew me in! -In Progress-

-_Time after Time_- by ComplexSimplicitY. THIS IS WONDERFUL! It's cute and adorable and sweet and so Luna! All the lovely HPLL goodness that we missed during the fifth book, insertion scenes that fit wonderfully in OotP. -Incomplete-

And that's all folks!

Nitte iz


	5. A midnight chat

Sorry this is sooooooooo late (doesn't even want to try to imagine reviewer's not-happy visages oooh, big word!). I've been mad busy with college and my parent's 30th anniversary (today!! Yay for them!) and a writing retreat and a Greek tragic play and homework, and a sudden binge into Spike/Buffy fanfics. So yeah, a lot.

Thanks Megz2, Sesaru, Sorceress-of-Sangolia, Demosthenes42 (I love hokey and cheesy and all that fun stuff!), Abluebird225, s, This Parrot has ceased to be (O.o er, interesting name, & thanks for the praise!), kneazles (what are kneazles again? They try to bite shiny things, right?), Felion, star estrella, Tropic, Enna seawave, jen, Emma Ackroyd, mooncancer, wolverinas-moon (thank you so much), rayvern (ooh technical praise, don't usually get much of that!), jklmnopqrstuv (is that really your name?), EriEka127, MedNar, Jen, juggling stars, Keitorin, gaul1, Nadia Greenleaf (you sound like a character in HP!), jenalyen (what's wrong with using hilarious?), and Doneril.

To Duchessa and vaderisgod (you actually asked similar questions) - Harry's always been bullied by Dudley, so I really think he'll have sympathy for bullied 'Snivellus' so there might be one or two retribution pranks, but nothing major. In fact, I'm thinking of delving into why Snape turned traitor to Voldemort wheels start turning in writer's head. Again this is going to be a canon work - so no revealing who Harry is, though in the sequel, well I actually have two completely different endings for the possible sequel. One he changes and the other he doesn't, at least not significantly. To Duchessa specifically, the title's from a song by 3 Doors Down (see first chapter). I love that saying - 'Life is ironic . . . sometimes. Fiction more so.' That's so perfect! And er, no more fics! I still haven't finished the last recommendations! smiles sheepishly I'm such a slacker.

Oh and I was considering re-writing the end of the last chapter to go like this:  
"Ever the suspicious one Padfoot. One day it'll land you in Azkaban, framed by the one person you never suspected." Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"And your lack of suspicion will get you killed Prongs. By a 'friend' nonetheless."

Disclaimer: From now on, assume all my writings are complete rip-offs. Otherwise, I'm only posting original disclaimers I think up.

* * *

Hold Me While I'm Here-

Chapter 5: A late night chat

* * *

Harry Patterson.

Remus carefully underlined the name in his notebook. Cocking his head, he contemplated it, before he finally wrote in parentheses next to it: facts/secrets.

This notebook had become Remus' first companion, out of necessity. His first year he had used it to keep track of three things: homework, days 'til the next full moon, and the lie he was using for that month.

The last two had eventually become superfluous. He had become intimately familiar with the aches his body developed as the full moon drew closer, now able to predict within hours when it would occur. Besides looking at a countdown to the next time he was a Dark creature every day was not something he found pleasant. And the rest of the guys had figured out his secret in second year, so he didn't have to keep track of his lies anymore.

But he had kept the notebook. Ever the conscientious student, he still recorded assignments in it. Someone had to do it, and as Sirius and James would never even consider such details - and Peter didn't have the memory for it. For goodness' sakes, he had forgotten a sign of a werewolf on the DADA O.W.L.!

And he made other lists: books he'd read, pranks they pulled, detentions served, visits to Dumbledore, times they had sneaked to Hogsmeade, secret passages - before they had constructed the map, and as of last year, adventures on full moon nights. He wondered how many pages they would fill this year . . .

At the moment however, it was the newest Gryffindor sixth year who was making his first list of the year. Despite his own defense of the new boy, he had to admit that was something well, off about him. And he had learned to trust his instincts. Frowning a little, he carefully wet his quill again and began to scribble in his elegantly precise script.

1.) Used past tense when talking about mother - who was Muggleborn.

2.) Almost expelled several times.

3.) Avoids questions: above and about conflict with the Sorting Hat.

4.) Jumpy.

Remus bit his lip. Anything he was missing? He looked discreetly over at the sleeping new kid, only to see all the others doing the same. His eyes met James and the boy gave a decisive nod, before creeping out of bed. The soft thump of two other sets of feet signaled that Sirius and Peter followed suit, all padding silently towards the bathroom. Remus jotted down one more note before hurrying after.

5.) Something off - I can feel it.

* * *

"Well, isn't this comfy?" Sirius asked sarcastically, balancing awkwardly on the bathtub rim. The rest of the Marauders were in similar predicaments: Peter had ended up nearly in the sink after trying to imitate Sirius' pose - he was presently in a scrunched position below the sink, having deemed it safer. Remus, being the last to arrive, ended up slouched against the door, while James, as he was the official leader, had claimed by far the most comfortable position in the bathroom: he was imperiously seated on the toilet lid.

Despite the fact the dorm of each year usually encompassed four to five teens, the bathroom was only designed for one. Of course it was pretty nice - though not when you were stuffing four gangly teenaged boys into it.

James sighed. "Well it's not like we can have one of our usual meetings." Unconsciously he ruffled his hair, the habit so ingrained that he didn't even realize it.

Sirius' scowl deepened, but James went on before he could speak. "So what does everyone think of Harry?"

"Something's wrong with him." James rolled his eyes and pointedly looked at Remus.

Remus shifted uncomfortably. "He seems nice-" he mumbled. The black haired boy across from him snorted. "Honestly I think this meeting is a little, premature. We need to get to know him," he went on tentatively. How could he admit after his little stunt with Sirius that he actually agreed with the other's first impression?

James nodded, but gave Harry his vote. "I like him, but I agree with you Moony. We need to get to know him first."

"That's exactly what she wants us to do," Sirius declared darkly.

Peter immediately started at his ominous tone. Remus knew he shouldn't. He knew Sirius - this was going to be one of his outrageous ideas. And yet . . .

"What do you mean?"

Sirius leaned forward conspiratorially. "McGonagall. He's her spy."

James and Remus' eyebrows rose in unison. However Peter immediately let out a wide-eyed squeak, before nervously glancing at the door as if she would burst in at any moment.

"A spy?" repeated Remus skeptically.

"Oh come on Padfoot, we're not that bad!" This time Remus eyed James skeptically.

"And what were we just doing two hours ago?" Sirius started at this.

"Hey! You never told me about the prank you played on Snivellus," he whined, for the moment distracted from his theory. James smirked smugly.

"It was great. I transfigured the books he was carrying into blueberry pies and nailed him. He looked like a drenched bluebird with a hooked beak." By this point, Peter was sniggering uncontrollably and Remus was having a hard time keeping his face straight, just remembering the scene. "Then I turned nearby chairs into giant purple pastries," he was nearly choking on his words to get them out between his chuckles, "and Moony charmed them into dancing around him singing 'I love you Snivellus'."

James couldn't control himself any longer, snickering uncontrollably. Sirius fell back into the tub and banged his head. Of course this only made everyone, even Sirius, laugh even harder. Remus and Peter were by then both on their sides, sounding as if they were going to split them.

Eventually intense stomach pain forced the boys to stop. Sirius whipped tears from his eyes, either pain or joy induced, while the other boys resumed their seating, each breaking out into wheezing chuckles at random intervals.

"Oh man," James panted. "That - that was just so great," he laughed a final time.

"I can't believe I missed that!" Sirius said hoarsely. "And it's all because of that stupid spy!" James coughed out another laugh, while Remus shook his head.

"Padfoot, there's no way that McGonagall slipped in another student who just happened to be sorted into our House for the sole purpose of spying on us or preventing us from pranking." His tone was not reproving though, basking in the pacifying bliss his excessive merriment had left behind.

"I agree," chimed James. "Though, I can see that Harry might be an obstacle for our night prowling." Everyone sobered up at that thought.

"What if he tells McGonagall when we're out?" Peter inserted worriedly. The boys exchanged glances and Remus pensively bit his lip.

James sighed. "Well, we might have to tone down our night mischief," he conceded. Sirius growled, the scowl reappearing on his face.

"Maybe you should stop going out at all," Remus said softly.

"What?!" Sirius was incensed by the very thought. "We just finished the map last year! We have James' invisibility cloak and, and what about late night visits to the kitchen?!" Sirius paled at the thought of no more midnight snacks.

James however, was carefully looking at the boy, who refused to meet his eyes. Remus had said you, not we. And not going out at all meant . . .

"There is no way we're leaving you alone on full moons," he stated resolutely, his eyes boring into the top of Remus' head. Sirius stopped babbling and Peter straightened. "I don't care if Harry does get us in trouble; we became Animagi to be with you and the threat of detention is not going to prevent us from being there." The other marauders nodded solemnly.

Remus gulped, feeling a burning sensation start at the back of his eyes. He slowly nodded, before clearing his throat. "Right," he said, his voice sounding scratchy. "But what happens if he figures it out?" The possible implications of such a discovery were left unsaid.

The others lapsed into silence. The pranking issue paled in the view of Harry's possible reactions. He could inform the school, make Remus' life miserable, or be terrified. The idea of him being accepting - it was too hopeful to imagine. Even they, well not even they had taken it that well.

James and Sirius had figured it out together. The lies, the timing, a moon chart, and the accidental sighting of one of Remus' self-inflicted scratches had inexorably led them to one conclusion. James had felt obligated to inform Peter - for his own safety, because he probably wouldn't have figured it out on his own. Peter of course, had been completely terrified. Sirius had been bewildered: he had grown up with such a Dark Arts awareness, but had been completely unaware of Remus' dark little secret. Bookworm, shy Remus didn't fit any sort of description of a Dark creature that he had been indoctrinated with. James had been equally flummoxed, shocked, and scared, but ultimately the one to act. Remus, despite what he turned into once a month, was still their friend and he was going to stick by him.

And that had been the crucial swing to decide whether Remus would be accepted or rejected. Sirius had come round after a little prodding. Feeling keenly his own families' rejection and lack of real loyalty, he decided to 'keep' Remus with his usual abrupt and unwavering determination. Peter had also come round to James' view, though it more had to do with simple awe of the devotion they were showing. Privately, Peter was sure he could never do the same on his own.

And so the Marauders had solidified. Though the whole school knew how close the sixth year Gryffindors were, they had little idea that the closeness had come less from all the pranks and detentions they had received, and more from the long hours studying to become Animagi (an accidental inspiration from Peter surprisingly) and the long midnight jaunts into the Forbidden Forest under the luminescent full moon.

But now there was something that could possibly break up their happy band: Harry. If he learned Sirius' secret or even ended up being rule nit- picking, he could make the boys' lives hell. Not only that - he could possibly reveal it to the whole school or even worse, get them all expelled for being illegal Animagi.

Dead silence filled the room, James and Sirius exchanging uneasy looks. Peter seemed petrified, staring at the door behind Remus as if a monster looking surprisingly like an angry McGonagall was going to dash in at any moment.

"We'll have to watch him," James finally spoke quietly, trying to dispel the sudden gloom. "No need to become terribly pessimistic without cause. We'll just see if he can be trusted."

Sirius nodded slowly and after a moment, they all joined hands - their unofficial way of agreeing to a pact. "One for all; all for one," James murmured, reciting the text Remus had found in a Muggle book so long ago. And without another word, they quietly crept out of the bathroom, resigned to uneasy sleep for the rest of the night.

* * *

Harry lay awake, long after the Marauders returned to their beds and succumbed to restless dreams. Despite the numerous sleepless nights he had experienced from just the anticipation of this trip, he simply couldn't stop his mind from whirling at 100 mph. Sirius, his dad, Wormtail, Remus, Lily, Snape - they were all here! He kept getting sudden shakes, as if he couldn't contain the tumultuous feelings that were racing around inside. Secretly, he couldn't help the niggling fear if he closed his eyes and went to sleep, that when he awoke they might not be there. So he stared blankly at his ceiling, feeling his skin prickle with both icy dread and fiery glee.

There was of course another reason he was still awake: really, had they expected to sleep through that fit of hysterics? For a moment he had been afraid that they accidentally transformed themselves into hyenas.

He couldn't help but be a little stung. They didn't trust him. The fact that they had every reason not to, didn't soothe him at all. It had been completely illogical, but he hadn't been able to stop himself from imagining an enthusiastic welcome from the Marauders. He definitely hadn't been expecting Sirius to nearly get him trapped in the Disappearing Cabinet. He was their leader's son for goodness sake! Not that they knew that. He sighed, running a hand through his blond hair. And they would have to be kept from that knowledge. So that left him at square one: merely on his merits he'd have to get them to trust him, because there was no way in hell that he was staying here as an outsider. He'd experienced that too many times already. It was a strange concept really to be accepted simply as himself - ever since he'd been introduced into the wizarding world, he had always been labeled by his past and parents, not by his own abilities or character.

Of course, the fact that that rat traitor had their trust and he didn't - oh that just added salt to the wound.

But he would earn their trust. The only question was how.

Harry gave another sigh and turned over - at least he had one thing to be glad about, he mused as he slowly sailed to Dream Land. He wouldn't have any more dreams/visions through Voldemort's eyes. And that was definitely a good thing.

* * *

Finally finished! Don't even ask when the next will be up. I have a plan for it, but October is seriously the month of nightmares for me.

Advertisements, I'm just going to go with some absolutely wonderful fics:

-_Forever Alive_- by mordred. Absolutely brilliant! A serious time investment, but totally worth it - it goes from the first year of the Marauders to the days before Lily & James death, currently. Amazing story!

-_Dwelling on the Past_- by sailoranime. Harry takes a trip into Remus' pensieve with Remus. Very good, thoughtful story.

Toodles!

Nitte iz


	6. Settling in

A/Ns, excuses/groveling for mercy/overdramatics, at the bottom - figured you've waited long enough for this.

Disclaimer: yadda yadda.

* * *

Hold Me While I'm Here-

Chapter 6: Settling in

* * *

Ignored.

He wasn't used to it, at least in the wizarding world. Sure when he was home, if that term could be used, the skill of 'ignoring Harry' had been perfected to an art form. But in the wizarding world, he had always had a spotlight on him, whether people were marveling at his identity, convinced he was out to kill them, convinced he was the worst sort of liar and manipulator, or convinced he was crazy.

He'd never enjoyed the sensation more.

He looked up from his books, gazing over at the many other Gryffindors laughing, talking, and fooling around in the Gryffindor common room, unnoticed. Oh sure there had been a buzzing about him at first, but now a week later - once the rest of the school had figured out he wasn't joining the marauding group, the interest in him had dwindled. There was still a somewhat polite interest in the transfer student, but that was it - well, except for the Marauders, but that was understandable. He could walk down the halls without being followed by the mutter of whispers, walk into the Great Hall for breakfast without being noticed. It was wonderful.

He knew he should been satisfied with that much, just the fact all the pressure and stress on him was gone. No whispering, no fears of Voldemort prying into his head or constant underlying emotions from his fluctuating moods, no Hermione or Ron or Lupin (as much as he loved them) worriedly hovering over him just waiting for signs of an anger or grief meltdown. No constant irritation of Snape sneering at him, no reminders of just how much things had gone wrong in his life. He should be overjoyed.

Should, being the operative word.

He sighed and inclined his head to observe the Marauders, huddled by the fire in a tight circle, talking in undertone. He watched James longingly as the boy's arms flew in a frenzy of hand motions, Sirius and Remus nodding comprehensively.

He just had to get into their group. It was torture - knowing his father and godfather, before the torment of Azkaban, were there just beyond his reach. He had to get into the Marauders. His hand stroked the piece of paper sticking out from underneath his thick textbook. He just had to get their attention first.

"You should be glad you're not in that group."

Harry nearly jumped out of his skin at the sudden statement, his right hand instinctively reaching for his wand. However, upon realizing the identity of the red-haired witch who had spoken, his grip went slack.

"Lily Evans," she prompted, misreading his wide-eyed look. "Remember, I introduced myself the first night?" She scowled, remembering the trouble the other sixth grade Gryffindor boys' had caused that night. "You shouldn't get too involved with those boys," she said, pointedly glaring at James' profile. She huffed slightly, even as her cheeks tinted slightly, when James caught her eye and roguishly winked at her.

"Uh . . ." Harry could've slapped himself on the forehead - but he didn't want to come off as that much of a weirdo, not that gaping at her incoherently didn't come off as weird in and of itself.

His mother! The thought blazed through his mind.

Her green eyes turned back on him and she smiled. Gulping, he gave her a strained smile in return.

"They're Trouble with a capital T," she continued. "They could get you enough detentions that they'd start pouring out your ears. And you definitely don't need that." Harry fought the insane urge to giggle. Compared to his habit of attracting trouble, detentions were mild.

"They seem pretty close though," he hazarded, not wanting to get on his mother's bad side but compelled to defend his father. She snorted.

"Well, of course. They have to be to pull off such elaborate pranks." She stated it like it was the most obvious fact in the world. "James is the leader, Sirius the backup, Remus the brains, and Peter, well, the alibi- maker, I guess." She snorted again. "Or at least the adoring fan."

She was slightly more, more haughty, if that was the right word, than he expected. No, perhaps stringent was a better word. He could tell that she held very firm opinions, a fact that had probably led to her being prefect and model student. It was also probably part of what had drawn his father to her, and would in the future make the affection mutual. Despite his father's almost flamboyant manner and mischievousness, Harry was aware that James was unswerving in his commitments. For both of them, it most likely became the cause of their steadfast opposition to Voldemort and ultimately, their death.

He mentally slammed the switch to de-rail that train of thought. James and Lily, at least these two, were not dead yet and that was what he was supposed to be focusing on.

"Harry?"

He blinked, realizing Lily was staring at him with a slight frown. He flushed, uncomfortably realizing he'd missed whatever she'd just said. "Sorry, er, the transition here has been kindof, mind-bending," he explained quickly with a sheepish smile. Wasn't that the truth.

She nodded understandingly. "Yeah, Hogwarts is a lot to take in. I still remember when I first came when I was eleven. Considering I'm muggleborn, Hogwarts was mind blowing." She gave a small laugh, her eyes snapping back into focus but missing Harry's hungry look. "But how 'bout you? How are your classes going?"

Harry had never been less inclined to talk about himself. Oh well, Lily stories would have to wait.

"Um, they're pretty good. I gotta say that I like the teachers better. My last potions professor was an absolute git." Oh that had been the highlight of his day, meeting his new (or was it old?) potions professor. He turned out to be a she, a fairly pretty witch who clearly had a passion for potions. This was only for the moment though. The actual Potions teacher was someone named Slughorne, who was apparently away at some high-society Potion convention. He was slightly surprised a House Head would skip out during the beginning of the year, but shrugged it off. Anything was better than Snape. What made it even better was the singular attention Snape had showed the substitute indicated that his mastery of potions may have not completely resulted from a precise love for them specifically. Harry's lips quirked. He was soooooo going to take advantage of the information when he returned to his own time.

Some of his other teachers were the same - McGonagall, Binns, Sprout, Kettleburn, even Hagrid - though he wasn't actually a teacher. It gave him a strange sense of continuity, both in the sense that some things hadn't changed and the realization that he had (had had?) the same teachers as his parents. At that same time, he had two definitely different teachers, thankfully, for two of his often most dreaded subjects: Defense Against the Dark Arts and Divination. He had had no little trepidation about either subject - well, the first really needed no explanation and as for the second, he neither wanted another death prediction nor any other reminders of Trelawney's few real prophecies. He promptly dismissed the matter from his manner, it still being far too painful and just overwhelmingly depressing to dwell on, no matter how much all his friends would testify that he was a brooder.

He had, therefore, been pleasantly surprised to find that his teachers were, well, normal - or at least as normal as one could get in the wizarding world. Professor Ransdale, DADA, wasn't terribly imposing or talented - but he wasn't terribly boring or unknowledgeable either. All in all, Harry considered him a catch. As for Divination, his teacher turned out to be Allouva, who insisted they call her by her first name. It was slightly odd, but as she wasn't bedecked by gaudy veils and such and had the consideration to not mark lateness (being as Divination was still? held in the upper tower), Harry was thrilled.

She'd thrown him for a loop when they'd been first introduced though. She had calmly stated that he looked "just like your father, except for those pretty eyes. Shame about the hair though." He'd just about stopped breathing and been pale for the rest of lesson, garnering some rather interesting looks and comments, especially from the Marauders. But she hadn't said anything since, so he tentatively put it up as a fluke. For the most part, she taught with a sense of detached carelessness, not seeming overly concerned if nobody was able to read their tea leaves. She struck Harry as an absent-minded grandmother, who was preoccupied with the cookies in the oven even as she talked to her grandchildren. It was an odd thought, seeing as he'd never had any grandmother experience, but the image stuck. Still, he was careful around her. The last thing he needed was someone who actually had divining ability.

His other interactions with the teachers were less eventful. He got a few raised eyebrows, but no questions. It made him wonder what exactly Dumbledore had told them to explain his presence. . .

"Yup, definitely better teachers. My old divination teacher was a real fruit loop - she predicted my death on the first day of classes during my third year," he said sourly. "Allouva's a gem next to her."

Lily actually snorted, not a terribly lady-like sound, though she managed to avoid sounding like something of the porcine persuasion.

"Divination, that's hardly a magic! It's completely impractical, imprecise, and not to mention utterly unverifiable," she sniffed loftily. Harry's lips quirked involuntary into a fond smile.

"That's what my friend Hermione says," he commented with a certain wry nostalgia. "She practically had a fit when she took the class and she actually dropped it after a few months. And believe me, that's a very big thing when you're talking about Hermione." Lily's face softened.

"You must miss your friends a lot. I mean, it's gotta be hard to enter a strange school after your dorm mates have spent years forming an elite club." She directed another glare toward the Marauders, feeling just a touch of maternal protectiveness welling up inside in response to her -unknown- son's vulnerability.

Harry's smile wilted a little. "Yeah, I miss them a lot. I haven't been gone that long yet, but it feels like ages. Makes me wonder if I should've pressed one of them into coming with me." Or maybe just been less stubborn about insisting he wanted to go by himself - though Dumbeldore had expressed some genuine worry about too many people going into the past. There were simply too many ways it could go wrong.

Lily's eyes darted between the Marauders and Harry. She chewed her lip for a second, before finally gathering herself to make a historic stand.

"They're, they're not that bad of guys," she finally said in a rush, not quite believing that she was actually about to laud James' irascible band. "They just need some time to get to know you - and they're very loyal friends." Even if they displayed this loyalty in collective pranks and detentions, she 

added mentally. "They're not always jerks. Though, try not to get dragged into too much trouble by them." She really couldn't help the last comment.

Harry managed a grin at her little speech. He planned on befriending the Marauders no matter what, but it felt nice to know that he wouldn't earn his mother's scorn by doing so. "I'll try not to," he replied, with a hint roguishness. Lily blinked as James flashed her his infamous smirk, only with blond hair and green eyes. She shook her head. Drat, Potter was really starting to get to her - that was bad.

"Um yeah, so I'll see you later," she said brusquely, quickly getting up and returning to a table situated by her dormmates, whom he only knew in passing. Harry blinked at her quick exit, but then shrugged and returned to his homework, unaware of the eyes boring into his back.

* * *

"I don't trust him."

Remus rolled his eyes. Amazing how one can turn from a tentative advocate to a complete enemy after only one observed conversation.

"That would probably be more credible if you weren't turning green James," he remarked affably. Sirius nodded.

"As much as I'd like to have you in my camp, I'm afraid I can not accept love-swayed logic," he informed the fuming boy next to him imperiously.

Remus was impressed by his choosiness, but then again he'd only had to go a week without pranks thus far. Not to mention Harry seemed to be taking pains not to offend any of them during their few awkward conversations- though he often stiffened up around Peter. In the course of their 'observe Harry' plan, they'd left him mostly alone (making for very awkward dorm and dining moments) and instead intently watched him through classes and the like. Remus hoped that their new dorm mate didn't realize just how closely he was being scrutinized - it made a lab rat look ignored.

The addressed boy scowled, half-heartedly bringing up a hand to bat at his best friend. "Says the boy who thought Harry was a school spy. Oh right, like that's logical." Sirius immediately looked offended, dramatically so.

"He could be, oh-Mr. Green-with-envy-because-Lily-won't-even-talk-to- me-like-she-just-talked-" the rest of the too-long epithet was muffled by a couch cushion, flung by Mr. Green-with-envy. Sirius retaliated, but having a cushion over your face rather impairs one's vision, so the other cushion ended up whacking Peter in the arm. Yelping slightly, he flushed red and reached for another cushion. Before long the Marauders were embroiled in a good old-fashioned 'pillow' fight, unaware of the gaze of another green-tinged Potter.

* * *

I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SORRY!!

I have just been, well, it would take too long to explain - and it's all excuses anyway.

It's funny, I've never been flamed before, but I have a feeling I will now. I am really sorry. I actually had two scenes planned for this chapter, but I decided postponement of posting would only make everything worst. Don't worry now though, much of my mania has passed and I should return to a more reasonable posting schedule. I HAVE NOT ABANDONED THIS FIC AND I HAVE NO INTENTION OF DOING SO!!

I felt so bad when I went through my reviews and had so many hopeful wishes that the next update would be soon . . . written four months ago. So sorry!!

Thanks Hermione88220, insanechildfanfic, Kimmy, WeasleyTwinsLover1112, Angel, Lady Phoenix Slytherin, Jazlyn, Amandinka (x2), alternatively spliced, Annay, gaul1, Marauder3Moony, Falafal, Tropic, Emma Ackroyd, Doneril, Shea Loner, Sesaru, xkristy101, unknown, Amanda, padoot22, Erikalya Arvanesse, PadFootCc, Suggestion Box, MedNar, Maximum Poofy-Pissed Off Queen (thanks for the long review!), Prophetess Of Hearts, enna seawave, LittleEar BigEar's sis, Siri Kat, This Parrot has ceased to be (yes, I am a she - though it is funny how often one just assumes), EriEka127, Melissa, hermionegreen, amy, Kurbani, James-Padfoot (I do have plans about the whole werewolf discovery already, wait and see!), and Sorceress-of-Sangolia.

To Illucia - thanks so much for your encouragement! Harry has had far too much trauma in his life to become another James, but this break from reality will help loosen him up. The particulars of Harry's time travel will be explained much later down the road. As for Remus or Sirius remembering him, well, wouldn't they remember Harry Patterson, not Harry Potter? Remember, for them, it would've been like twenty years ago. (It's kinda like asking why Lois doesn't figure out Clark is Superman)

To Duchessa - basically Harry wants to get to know the Marauders first before anything else. I'm trying to show that him as stepping back, trying to not think of their futures, and rather just become friends. Snape won't get too much attention yet until I've set Harry up with the Marauders. Or maybe not . . . -wheels start turning- As to what's off about Harry, what could be more off than being in the wrong time? Sirius I can see as making snap judgments, either being for or against after only one encounter. As for Remus, I think it's far too unfair to be cursed without any bright spots, so let's just say his lycanthropy helps him to determine something is up with Harry. Maybe sensing Harry's out-of-place or smells similar to James. -shrug- Yes Harry will 'find out' Remus' secret (was there any doubt?) and yes, you are being paranoid. The Voldemort that Harry is linked to is in the future, and I really can't see him connected to the one in the past. Sorry this chapter wasn't really about classes, but I can guarantee that I will include more in the future - and DADA won't be the whole class that the Marauders find that Harry is just full of surprises.

To vaderisgod - Harry doesn't know Sirius' theory so he can't really prove them wrong. I already know how he's going to win their trust - yes problem, pranks will be involved -mumbles about an unfortunate lack of originality-, but Severus will not be the biggest target. I just don't think he'd really be able to stomach it, though at the end of Ootp he was rather furious at Snape. As for the other ideas, Harry's trying not to blow his cover so he can't show any advanced knowledge of the school or his true hair color.

Thanks a million!! And sorry I don't have any recommendations today - but if you have one to suggest, even one of your own, that would be sooo appreciated.

Toodles,

Nitte iz


	7. Escapades of night and morn

Sign: 'The writer fully recognizes fact that lynching is too good a fate for her and dares not even face the many that've left reviews. Further updates WILL BE more consecutive. Abandoning is against authoress' moral code.'

Also 'the Bathroom Incident' referred to in this fic is an actual fanfiction – go read it, it's hilarious! And if anyone has prank ideas or knows good prank fics, I will mention them, so go ahead and refer them!!

* * *

Hold Me While I'm Here-

Chapter 7: Escapades of night and morn

_

* * *

_

Roaming through this darkness

_I'm alive but I'm alone_

_Part of me is fighting this_

_But part of me is gone_

* * *

The ban on late night activities could only last so long. The Hufflepuffs were simply begging to be pranked! Bragging that they would make a clean sweep of Gryffindor in the first Quidditch. As if they even could, with James Potter and Sirius Black to contend with on the team!

It was a personal insult, a grave affront to the entire House of Gryffindor!

Or so James and Sirius claimed in order to convince their balking werewolf friend that a prank was necessary, despite any potential 'risk' that Harry might pose. In reality, Sirius should've been the one who opposed it on that platform, but he had never been one to be cautious simply because of the chance of danger. If anything, it made everything more exciting.

They were careful though to make sure that Harry had retired to bed with an excuse for why they might go up late – a late night study session. Remus had been required to tell Harry as he was the only one who could actually say the excuse with a completely straight face. Something, he informed the other Marauders icily, that shouldn't be such a feat as the excuse should not be so laughable. Sirius, James, and Peter had simply snickered more. (Unknown to them, he informed Harry that the others needed tutoring in all subjects from him just to pass. He was, quote, 'their saving grace.' He would've told Harry they were brain-damaged, but felt that might be crossing the line, though he could probably furnish evidence to support the claim.)

And so Operation Prank #378 was underway. (After the first 30, they'd stopped naming each one individually, except for the real doozies. For example, _The Bathroom Incident-_, though that hadn't ended exactly as well as wished…)

* * *

It was the desperate pounding noise on the stairs that first alerted Harry that something was amiss. After their prank (like he actually believed Remus' late night study story), he'd figured the Marauders would meander in leisurely, strut perhaps, or try to sneak in if it was especially late. But panicked running?

However before he could do anything more than look up from his studying, the door flew open. In a chaotic blur the four boys rushed into the room, robes going airborne as Sirius, James, and Peter made a mad dash for their beds. Remus, rather unexpectedly, was cursing extensively and feverishly waving his wand over his robe, which happened to have a huge scarlet splotch directly in the middle of his front. This left him still in the center of the room while his compatriots in crime got safely tucked in bed.

Harry raised an eyebrow, but upon registering that the pounding of feet had resumed, guessed correctly why there had been such an unorthodox rush to the room.

"Remus, forget the robe and get in bed!" Sirius hissed, obviously hoping they could try the innocent 'but we were sleeping' alibi. No attention was given to Harry – in truth, they had completely forgotten his newly added presence.

"And McGonagall will notice I'm still wearing it and then she'll have proof!" he returned heatedly, barely sparing the boy a glance as he muttered yet another spell under his breath.

"Then just make it vanish!" This got James an outraged look.

"We spelled it so that wouldn't work, remember!" The pounding grew louder and the boys froze, except for Peter who was too far burrowed under his covers to be seen, clearly torn between watching the door and pretending to be asleep.

That was enough for Harry. Without a word, he snatched up a random robe from the floor and quickly swung it over the startled boy's shoulders. Luckily, it was one of Sirius' and thus easily enveloped Remus' slighter frame, hiding the telltale stain. Harry immediately retreated to his book, leaving a pole-axed werewolf standing in the middle of the room.

It was just in the nick of time. Barely had Harry perched again over his book, than the door slammed open, making a resounding bang against the walls.

"JAMES POTTER!"

It took every scrap of hard-earned acting ability for James to not jump out of his skin, but merely shoot his head up and look around blearily. He saw Sirius do likewise across the room. "Professor McGonagall?" He tried to make it sounded as sleepy as possible. He really hoped his face didn't betray his sudden dread upon taking in her furious expression and the leer of Filch behind her, gleeful at the prospect of catching the mischievous Gryffindors red-handed. Or more correctly, though he carefully kept his eyes away from Remus, red spotted.

"Don't act innocent Potter!" she snarled. "I know you and Black have been up to trouble. I've been chasing you all the way from Hufflepuffs' tower!" Her hair bun's bedraggled appearance testified to the fact, though it could've been simply a show of late night sloppiness as McGonagall looked like she had just jumped from bed – severely gray dressing gown and all. "And I just know you dragged Lupin and Pettigrew into it! In fact," she paused in her rant, taking stock of the fact one of the fore-mentioned boys was conspicuously out of bed, and narrowed her eyes. Remus tensed, willing his face to complete blankness, if not innocence, and carefully clutching Sirius' robe shut. Filch snickered in sheer anticipatory delight. "Mr. Lupin-"

"I'm sorry Professor McGonagall, but is something the matter?" The sudden interruption of such a bewildered, yet calm question, abruptly made her stop short. She stared, blinking in utter astonishment, at Harry. He cocked his head in well-played guilelessness.

He wondered if he should be worried that he was becoming such a good actor.

McGonagall collected herself with obvious effort, self-consciously drawing herself up and smoothing her bed robe. "Uh, Mr. Patterson." Taking advantage of her preoccupation, the Marauders stared at Harry in complete disbelief.

"I'm sorry if it's impertinent," Was he actually saying this? Impertinent? "But I thought females were warded from the male dorms and vice versa." The professor actually flushed. He couldn't believe it. Wait 'til Hermione and Ron heard 'bout this.

"Emergency," McGonagall cleared her throat. "In the case of an emergency, the Head of the House can cancel out such spells."

"An emergency?" He widened his eyes for dramatic effect. "Has something happened?"

"No, I mean," unaccountably flustered, she couldn't get over it and finally Filch jumped in.

"Your little roommates have gotten themselves in a boatload of trouble this time," he sneered gleefully. "Pranking my halls!" He clenched his dirty teeth in sudden agitation, before giving way to a victorious leer.

"But- they've been here the whole time." It was lucky that Filch and McGonagall's attention was fully focused on Harry at this point, for Sirius and James' slack-jawed expressions of shock would not have gracefully lent to Harry's claim of their innocence. McGonagall's jaw dropped as well, then came up with a clack.

"Are you-are you sure?" she asked falteringly, clearly bewildered.

Harry nodded, all innocently big eyed and earnest.

He deserved an Emmy.

Desperately her eyes seized around the room, bypassing Sirius and James' immediately similar earnest expressions, to latch on to the stiff Remus. Her eyes narrowed and the boy controlled a shudder. "Then why is Mr. Lupin still dressed and out of bed?"

Remus gulped, his mouth bone dry, but Harry answered just as smoothly and sweetly as before.

"He was helping me study." He helpfully lifted the book he was reading, a book on complex charms. "As you know, I'm retaking some of my O.W.L.s. Remus is an excellent study partner," he added confidentially. "But we just called it quits for the night." His mind raced for a way to make it sound even more believable and brilliance struck again. Doe eyes came back out in full force. "It is okay that we were studying so late, right?" Remus felt hysterical laughter build up in his throat, but he managed to keep it in by sheer force of will, barely making a choking sound.

Professor McGonagall, her mind whirling, raced to reassure him. "Of course it is. I, I'm sorry we disturbed you," she finally said firmly, gathering herself up.

It was too much for Filch. His face broadcasted his disbelief and shock that McGonagall was buying it. "You can't honestly believe him! He's lying, covering their treacherous little behinds!"

"Mr. Filch!" McGonagall's tone was sharp and scolding. Filch gape-mouthed and sputtered, unbelieving how the tables turned. "You have no grounds to be making such an accusation of Mr. Patterson." Leaving him flailing nonsensically, the Professor turned back to Harry and eyed him carefully, a slight frown hovering at the corner of her lips. But she nodded and bid them all a goodnight.

There was dead silence for a good minute after the two adults departed, Filch muttering nasty things about all Gryffindor sixth year boys under his breath. Harry broke it first, energetically snapping his book closed and looking eagerly at the Marauders, eyes darting from his future (past?) father to Sirius to Remus and then round again.

"So what did you guys do?" he nearly glowed with anticipation. "Filch and McGonagall looked really upset!" This was said with admiration, though more for upsetting the former than the latter.

Later, James would claim that Harry simply had caught them so off guard they didn't know how to react. His covering for them had been unbelievable – and then his gleeful inquiry on their activities?

Sirius looked helplessly at James. But the boy remained soundless. Remus simply stared at Harry, stupefied.

It took a moment for it to sink in. For Harry to realize the significance of the lengthening silence. His smile dimmed and a shadow grew in his eyes. His mouth tightened, as the muscles in his jaw clenched. And silence stretched on.

He stiffened and sat up. For just a second he hesitated, as if hoping his movement would break them out of their daze. But the silence remained unbroken.

"Never mind," he bit out. "Keep your secrets." He got up in a rush, accidentally knocking the charms book off the bed. The sound of it slamming to the ground caused the other boys to flinch. Harry didn't bother picking it up, instead brushing by Remus to get to the bathroom, his face a mask of cold fury. The slam of the bathroom door caused another round of wincing.

Remus and Sirius shared guilty looks. James didn't share as his eyes were determined to look anywhere but there. He tucked himself back into bed without a word. Sirius, after a moment, did the same, while Remus slowly changed into nightwear, stashing the condemning robe in the back of his closet.

In the bathroom, Harry fought the urge to slam something. Against his will, he felt the edges of his eyes burn and he cursed. He gripped the sink counter to keep himself from punching the mirror and his knuckles whitened from the effort. "I hate them," he hissed to his reflection. It was a lie of course, but – "Why won't they just trust me?" It sounded beseeching even to him and he hated himself for it.

It was a long time before he came out.

* * *

"–Honestly when are you boys going to grow up!" Lily paused in her tirade for dramatic emphasis, then frowned, registering the lack of response. As former Prefect, she felt it her duty to be concerned with her Housemates rule-breaking activities and to inform them of it. However, this usually generated teasing and eye-rolling, if not proclamations of innocence. They had never been so, well, apathetic. Her frown deepened as she surveyed the group.

Subdued could not adequately describe the breakfast scene at the sixth year Gryffindor section. Sirius and James looked at if all their exuberance had been sucked out of them. Peter, detecting the depressive mood, was fidgeting compulsively and picking at his food, a rather unusual feat for him. Having witnessed the scene the previous night, even though he had not really participated, he knew better than to say anything. Remus was acting the most like himself, seeing as he usually was more composed than the others, but his current languor made it clear something was affecting him as well.

To tell the truth, Lily was completely baffled. After pulling off a good prank, James and company usually were high as kites and bouncing off the walls, letting everyone know just who the culprits were. But the prank had all the earmarks of being theirs…

"Okay, what's going on?" she demanded. Sullen silence. Sighing, she decided to turn to someone who might be likelier to talk. "Harry, do you know-" She stopped short upon realizing the person she was addressing wasn't present. Even though James' group wasn't necessarily welcoming Harry, the new boy had a tendency of eating in the general vicinity. She frowned again. "Where's Harry?"

This caused a flurry of awkward and guilt-tinged looks to be exchanged. Finally Sirius spoke up. "We don't know. He was gone when we woke up this morning."

Lily blinked. "You guys didn't get in a fight with him, did you?" She didn't wait for an answer. "I can't believe I actually told him you all weren't that bad!"

And the guilt just kept piling up.

James, in particular, winced at that comment. He had been weighing if he should confront Harry in the morning, to make up for the brush off the night before. But with Harry gone, he had the feeling the opportunity was irretrievably lost. The hung dog looks on Remus and Sirius' faces implied they felt the same way, though neither of the boys spoke of it.

James sighed and prodded Sirius. "C'mon Sirius, we've got Quidditch practice." The other boy nodded and got up, ignoring Lily's obvious surprise at the fact they didn't even try to defend themselves. And with that, the two tromped off.

Lily turned to the remaining two boys with a puzzled frown. But fortunately for the nervous Peter who knew he'd spill everything if she so much as looked at him pointedly, she asked nothing further and simply left.

* * *

There was nothing like flying.

Harry let his muscles untense in the early morning light, taking deep breaths of the slightly chilled air. It had been a while since he had been on a broomstick and it felt indescribably good to finally be doing something completely natural for him. Patting the broomstick affectionately, he couldn't help feel a twinge of longing for his Firebolt. But there wasn't a chance he could bring the top-class broomstick into the past. Still, the older model could still fly and that was basically all he cared about at the moment.

The pain of last night's exclusion still hurt and he brooded over the fact he was still not trusted by the Marauders. So what if he had only done one thing to earn their trust? It didn't make the rejection hurt less.

Lost in his thoughts, he was startled by a glint of gold darting in the corner of his eyes. Without even thinking, five years of Quidditch training kicked in, and he immediately swerved, dove, and caught it. Blinking, he stared at the Golden Snitch flapping feebly in his hand. What was the Snitch doing here?

John Hasselgrove squinted his eyes in consternation. "Hey Potter, Black, isn't that your new dorm mate?" The two addressed just fish mouthed.

"I guess we found him," James finally said faintly. Behind him came mutters of 'Did you see that? He caught the Snitch just like that!' and 'How'd he learn to fly like that?'

"What's his name?" Hasselgrove asked excitedly.

"Patterson." James was feeling distinctly light headed at this point. Who knew Harry could do that?

Hasselgrove, who happened to be the captain of the Gryffindor team, grinned and cupped his hands together. "Hey! Patterson!"

Harry jerked slightly, abruptly lowering his attention to the ground and catching sight of the team standing in awe of him.

"C'mon down!" Warily, Harry did so, eying James and Sirius coolly. Still, he couldn't help but feel a little thrilled at the fact they seemed so impressed. "How'd you like to join the team as Seeker?" Hasselgrove was the picture of animation. Harry had a flashback to Wood's reaction upon first meeting him. "Our Seeker just graduated and we were going to hold tryouts, but I think you just passed yours with flying colors! You have played Seeker before right?" The last question seemed tacked on.

"Uh, yeah. Past five years," he answered, feeling slightly overwhelmed. Hasselgrove beamed.

"So?"

He hesitated. He didn't really know why; he loved playing Quidditch and he had been hoping he could play here.

His eyes slide over to James and Sirius. Neither had recovered from their shock at Harry's skill with a broomstick. And with his luck, James would get jealous and it would all end up a big mess. He firmed his mouth.

"I'll do it," he nodded resolutely, his eyes nearly daring James or Sirius to object. Thus he was taken completely by surprise when Hasselgrove threw his arm around him and nearly put him in a headlock.

"Brilliant! The trophy's in the bag for sure!" And with that, his new captain began introducing him to the other players, skipping James and Sirius.

So, he didn't see Sirius' exhilarated grin or the two boys high five upon the new addition. It didn't mean anything anyway, not if it didn't mean his acceptance as a potential Marauder.

But it was a step closer, unwittingly or not.


	8. One step forward, two steps back

Two big black eyes peek in. Two furry ears follow, black paws and striped tail. The raccoon gives a huge yawn from his very, very, very long hibernation and rubs his left eye with a fisted paw. Opening his eyes, Kiome cocks his head at huge line of angry reviewers, then sticks a cookie in his mouth, scattering crumbs all over his muzzle.

Reviewers squeal and go 'AWWWWWWWW!!'

Behind him, a sneaky brunette takes advantage of the distraction and drags a disclaimer out. Her muse turns around. The reviewers look around.

'It's Nitte iz! How long did her last chapter take? Get her!!'

Authoress runs, angry mob following.

Kiome eats another cookie.

**

* * *

**

(Note: Question: What position did James play on the Gryffindor Quidditch team? Was it seeker like Harry, or something different?

**JKR: James was Chaser.**

**Taken from scholastic .com / harrypotter/ author/ transcript2.htm.**

**Confusion comes from him being labeled Seeker on movie trophy.)**

* * *

Hold Me While I'm Here-

Chapter 8: One step forward, two steps back

* * *

"-It was incredible! You should've been there," here James finally lapsed in rapturous silence, grinning with visions of Quidditch trophies in his eyes.

Once again, the Marauders found themselves in meeting; this time more comfortably sprawled around their dorm room as Harry was nowhere to be found.

Remus rolled his eyes and mentally checked off a sixth tally of how many times he had said that. Before Sirius could once again launch into an equally excited consecutive rant of how skilled Harry was in practice as well, he cut him off. "So Harry's a good-"

"Amazing!"

"Quidditch player," Remus went on, ignoring Sirius' correction. "Forgive me if I'm not exactly seeing a correspondence to trustworthiness." This got him a wide-eyed look from both staunch Quidditch lovers.

Remus tamped down a growl in his chest. It was times like this he hated being the only one of the group who actually fully thought out consequences. And after last night's performance of Harry's practically guaranteed Sirius was wrong, even if only Sirius had really believed that theory, he was the lone dissenting voice for not trusting Harry. Of course, he had the feeling James and Sirius were only considering bringing Harry in on pranking rather than the real Marauder secret. Peter was pretty much of no consequence, as he would go along with the others.

Still, if they included Harry in their schemes, it wouldn't take Harry long to figure out they were hiding more than just mischief plans.

"Um, he's also really secretive." All eyes swung in surprise to the mousy boy among them. Peter gulped, his beady eyes skittering around the room at the sudden scrutiny. Remus blinked in surprise at the support. It wasn't usual for Peter to take a stand, well, at all. He wasn't sure if he should be that surprised though – Harry seemed to take particular care to avoid contact with the pudgy boy and such specific treatment undoubtedly made Peter nervous. Not that it took that much to make Peter nervous. But Remus ran with it.

"Wormtail does have point. He is rather evasive. Remember the first night banquet? He completely avoided our questions. He's always out-"

"In the library," James cut in, stretching out comfortably against his bedpost. "Which can be explained by the fact he's redoing O.W.L.s. Honestly, I think you'd like another guy around her who took his studies seriously." This was said with teasing humor, but Remus ignored the jab.

"He got all weird around Allouva," Peter piped up again.

"How exactly is that different from her effect on everyone else?" Sirius asked dryly, but without the energy of his mood moments before.

James rolled his eyes. "You know it's not like we're keeping secrets from him at all," he commented sarcastically. "We haven't done anything that would make him comfortable to share with us," he went on to point out. "Besides, doesn't that help support the fact he could keep our secrets?"

Sirius frowned. Despite the group's secrets and their protectiveness of them, of all things, Sirius most distrusted secrets. He didn't like the unease that pervaded him when realizing that others were withholding information from him. It put him at a disadvantage. "But then there's the matter of his scar." James turned to him in surprise. Was Sirius defecting from his side?

"Padfoot?"

"The scar on his forehead?" Remus asked to clarify. Sirius nodded.

"It's from a Dark curse." The other three boys stared at him in shock, Peter unable to contain his instant horror.

"Are you sure Padfoot?" James questioned, losing every vestige of playfulness. This was serious. Dark magic…

"I know Dark magic and the marks it leaves behind," he said darkly. No one questioned that. "Whatever the curse was, it was a powerful one too."

James and Remus shared worried glances. This definitely complicated the situation. James quickly took charge. "Why didn't you mention this sooner?"

"I didn't even notice it until a few days ago. He tends to keep his bangs over it so it's not visible." Sirius didn't want to make it too much of a big deal. As he well knew, association with Dark magic was not always willing. But the fact Harry had been touched by it, was still worth caution, even in his mind. Not to mention, he really didn't like Dark magic.

"I'm guessing the excuse 'maybe he doesn't know' would be just dumb," James muttered.

"You-you don't you think he's involved with," Peter fretfully wrung his hands and leaned forward furtively, "you-know-"

"Dark magic?" Remus prompted mildly, intentionally missing what Peter was really referring to, looking around at the now pensive Marauders. "I think we're going a bit too far. I may not see a reason to trust him, but we shouldn't fall to the other extreme."

"And what would that be?" Sirius snapped testily.

"Suspecting without proof. He has a Dark curse scar, okay. But, I am a werewolf, Dark creature, remember?" He looked pointedly at each boy.

James frowned. "That's not the same thing Moony." Remus waved his complaint away.

"Maybe not, but what about Sirius' background?" The mentioned boy stiffened and usurped the question before James could take it.

"Yeah, but I got into Gryffindor. I wanted it," he said fiercely, his dark eyes glinting sharply. "I think that goes a good way to distinguishing me from the rest of the Black family."

"So did Harry." Remus meet Sirius' gaze levelly, before turning his eyes to James' hazel one. The other boy seemed to be considering his point.

James sighed, his hand unconsciously going to ruffle his hair. "The hat placed him here for a reason. We should get to know what it is before making any real decisions," he stated with finality.

And with that the discussion was closed, despite Peter's obvious anxiety and Sirius' brooding frown.

* * *

He was trying to concentrate. He really was.

But he was failing miserably.

With undue force, he slammed the book shut agitatedly. His fingers flexed warningly against the book's cover.

He just – it was just driving him up the wall. It had been nearly a week since the pranking gone awry.

(It turned out the Marauders had carefully rigged buckets of red paint over the entrance to Hufflepuff to drench anyone who emerged from it. McGonagall and Filch had apparently nearly caught them while they were setting up the last bucket. In their haste to get away, Remus had gotten splashed. The two adults had removed that bucket, but had failed to find the other two. This had led to the majority of Hufflepuff showing up to breakfast drenched in red paint that flashed gold messages such as 'Gryffindor rules!' and 'No one can beat Gryffindor!' throughout the day. All attempts to get the paint off were met without success, and the Hufflepuffs quickly found that once covered in the substance, they could not get back into the Hufflepuff dormitories to change their robes. And since the first shrieks of outrage had attracted the whole House, there were few Hufflepuffs that missed getting soaked.)

Harry had to admit that he had to bite back laughter upon seeing some of the more outlandish paint messages – 'Hufflepuff players don't get dates' – but overall the whole incident left him in distemper.

The Marauders hadn't warmed up to him. He had thought for a brief moment, when James and Sirius enthusiastically congratulated him on his joining of the Quidditch team at the end of practice, that 

they had changed their minds about him. Even if it was for such a shallow reason as flying talent. However, if anything, they now viewed him with more suspicion. Just what he wanted.

"Argh!" he exclaimed, thumping his head down on the book. He really wished he could convince himself that the added vigilance was just another step towards getting into the group, but he hated suspicious stares. Like he hadn't had enough of them in his rather short life as it was.

So instead, he had practically secluded himself in the library, nursing his resentment and dejection while using the excuse of studying for his O.W.L. retakes. He actually was going to retake some, Dumbledore's way of giving him a second chance considering just what was going on during his own exam week. He forced himself not to think about the time. Sirius…

He shook his head and focused instead on how Hermione and Ron would react to hearing that he was actually studying weeks in advance. Hermione would be ecstatic and immediately set about making a daily study schedule. Ron would look at him, exclaim that the time trip had messed with his head, then convince him in an undertone to leave the books and sneak out to the Quidditch pitch while Hermione was busy.

A wry smile creased his mouth. Ugh, he missed them. Hogwarts just wasn't the same without them.

He'd never been at Hogwarts without them; they had stuck by him through thick and thin for the last five years. He hadn't been separated from Ron, with the exception of the summer and the part of 4th year when Ron thought he had rigged the Goblet of Fire, since they had first meet on the train to Hogwarts. Hermione had always been there as well, since the fight with troll on Halloween their first year.

He snorted. And he had still bemoaned being alone at Hogwarts. Ha, it was nothing compared to this.

He hadn't fully considered their absence in his visualizing of the trip, his mind too caught up in visions of Marauding capers and long talks with his father and Sirius.

Harry snorted. He hadn't spoken more than fifteen words to the Marauders combined in the last week. His only highlight had been Lily coming up to him and apologizing for them. Of course, she followed that by systematically bashing the lot of them. He still wasn't sure if that should cheer him up or depress him.

Sighing, he finally gave up and restlessly gathered his assorted belongings. Distractedly, he slung his bag over his shoulder and began to make his way out of the library.

Perhaps he'd see if the flying pitch was free.

Turning down the next book aisle, he very nearly sent another boy flying. Knocked back by the collision, he grabbed hold of the shelf closest to him and started a mumbled apology which promptly died on his lips.

"Well if it isn't the new Gryffindor."

His sneer hadn't changed in time. No, it sounded the exact same. It just looked a little different. His face wasn't as hardened, as severe; the only reason Harry could figure was from youth.

But it was definitely Snape.

He gaped for a second, long enough to make young version of Severus Snape falter a bit, showing signs of the insecure boy who had been tormented by a certain band of Gryffindors for years.

"I take it you're from Slytherin," he finally hedged weakly, trying to buy time as he tried to calm his whirling mind to figure out what to say.

Snape! He'd almost completely forgotten about him, since that first night…

The other boy narrowed his eyes. "Why do you say that?" he asked shrewdly.

Okay, now it was bordering on creepy. Remus and Sirius were one thing, he hadn't spent that much time with their older selves, but Snape? It was just mind-boggling seeing him this young.

"Well, Slytherins seem to, uh," he wanted to give his head a shake to hopefully clear it, but knew that'd look ridiculous, "dislike Gryffindors the most."

Snape's lips curled up to re-form his sneer. "Hufflepuff may be vying for that position right now," he responded acidly. "Thanks to your friends." He spat the last word.

"They're not my friends." Harry couldn't tell who was more surprised by his snap response, himself or Snape. Apparently, his bitter musings were still very much on his mind. Snape looked lost for a second, clearly taken off guard. He regained himself though, after a long moment of silence descended.

"What, trouble in the Gryffindor paradise?" Despite the scorn in his tone, Harry could tell he was curious.

"Nothing that I can't deal with," he stated firmly and consciously relaxed against the opposite book aisle, intent on studying this important fixture in his (future?) life for better or for worse. Sure, saying he was on bad terms with Professor Snape was an understatement of the highest kind, but like Peter, this Snape was completely separate from this one. Not to mention, how had the Hat put it? – "each house has a traitor". Snape, the Slytherin traitor. It was an odd concept and one that begged further consideration. Why not? He needed some time off from brooding over the Marauders anyway.

Snape looked discomforted by the sudden scrutiny.

"I'm Harry Patterson," he announced suddenly, reveling in the irony of having to introduce himself to Snape of all people. Hey, the necessity of introducing himself to a wizard period was still a novelty.

"Uh, Severus Snape," his eyes critically scanned Harry before locking eyes with him. Locking eyes, why was that familiar?

Internally Harry stiffened. Damn, he'd completely forgotten Snape knew Legilimency. He just hoped, really really hoped, he hadn't learned it yet.

"And yes, I'm in Slytherin, which makes me wonder why you want to talk to me."

Harry stifled a smirk. Well, it looked like Snape had always been a suspicious person. Or perhaps that was just because he was from Gryffindor.

He gave an exaggerated shrug. "I haven't really talked to any Slytherins since I arrived. So why not?" Severus didn't answer, just narrowed his eyes more. "Why does Slytherin hate Gryffindor?"

Severus scowled. "Arrogant showoffs," he muttered. Harry grit his teeth at the answer. He'd heard that before.

"But aren't Slytherins arrogant as well?" he asked, trying to keep the edge out of his voice. "Only pure blood is good enough?"

Even as the words left his mouth, a sudden realization hit Harry like a Mack truck. He didn't know the status of Voldemort or Death Eaters in this era. It was beyond unsettling. He had always had more knowledge of that than just about anyone. But here… All Dumbledore had said was it wasn't something to worry about.

Severus shifted uneasily. "Some believe that." Harry blinked at the realization Severus was evading the question. "I hate arrogance."

Harry met the abrupt admission with his own. "I'm not too big on it either," he paused, "but I hate cowardice more."

Severus snorted. "Obviously why you were placed in Gryffindor then." Harry cocked his head in a deliberately innocent move.

"And why were you placed in Slytherin?"

"They value cunning." Again, an evasion. Cunning though, alright.

"And what of courage?" He didn't really know why he asked that, then again…

"You Gryffindors put too much stock in it." Severus scoffed.

But doesn't it take courage to be a spy? The question was buried in Harry's throat, unable to be voiced. He didn't even know if Severus would have an answer for that now. For that matter, had Severus become a Death Eater with intentions of turning traitor or had something changed?

Severus' closed face held no answers.

"I'm not exactly one of them." Harry wasn't exactly where the statement came from or even what precisely he meant by it. All he knew was that he had always meant it and he always would mean it.

Severus' eyes locked with his, and Harry could see wariness vying with hesitance. "Whatever you say, Patterson," he brushed off the comment and Harry as well, striding away.

Harry couldn't help the almost bitter smile from rising to his lips. One thing hadn't changed – Snape still said his last name with the same mocking condescension. Still an absolute git.

"I'm not," he repeated to himself. "But I'm just close enough."

* * *

Ha-ha! There you go, another chapter out in just about a week. That scene with Snape was not really planned, I'd been thinking about it, but I was going to skip it in favor of the next step in Harry's try to get in with the Marauders. No worries though! -wink- That'll be next chapter. (This seems to be becoming a habit.)

This story is definitely more angst than anything else, though there will be some humor and drama. If anything, it's just more of a 'what-if' story, than an actual in-depth exploration of people's characters. But who knows?

About story recommendations, hahaha! It's kinda funny, but I pretty much stopped reading HP fanfiction. –readers' jaws drop and they stand in stupefaction- So, um, not really sure what to recommend. Please give me recommendations!! Or even just refer me to your favs list!

Correction: Bellatrix Lestrange apparently is gone by this year of Sirius' life, so Harry won't be seeing her. This using timeline provided at : hp-lexicon. org / timelines/ main/ timeline1970-1990.html. This is a great resource!! Hehehe, I'm using the Internet a lot, to find out anything I need since I left my HP books at home –sweatdrop-, whoops. But oh well!

Reviewer responses:

Thanks to all my faithful reviewers!! (And the over 100 people on author alert – actually that's kindof intimidating) Chapter 6 - Calimora, HermioneGreen, Templa Otmena, Illucia (lovely compliments!!), Catrina, MuGgLeNeT27, star estrella, HarryGryffinGirl (no worries on that end, no slash incoming), girlknight (-sweatdrop-, um, no Harry's not a spy), Kaaera, Hakkai - Gojyo - Goku – Sanzo, Amandinka (my biggest fan? Cool!), James-Padfoot (no Lily/Harry crushes! sorry, I find them scary), Lil Miss Potter, Falafal (what exactly is a falafel?), insanechildfanfic, mscs3, LittleEar BigEar's sis, Lady Pallas, gaul1, wenna, Emma Ackroyd, anton, princesscutle86, sami1010220, StolenDreamer, padfootpuppyeyes, Jadyn Potter (you know, I thought flamers would be meaner), anonomous (you know, you wrote MORE 48 times. that's a lot), Potterlvr1212, goddess of darkness3, PrOnGs Da GrEaT, GwEnDoLyN P. MaLfOy, (what is with all the uP dOwN?), Kanri Koneko (Kitty) Sage (cool if long name!), UNKNOWN, crazyfanfictionfanatic, Curse Breaker, bobby, Elanore de Lioncourt (is that French?), White Elf1, WeasleyTwinsLover1112, Dadaiiro, FelixthePhoenix, hermoine21, Emma Conners, WinterDistortion, spectra2, cheerful-pinkstar (cute name!), Lils, Rheniel (cool name!), futago akuma-tenshi01 (tada! longest chapter yet!), Cat323, wolfawaken, NoAlias (lovely compliments!!), kawaii-konnichiwa (I know, Harry as a blond is kinda weird!), Hermione88220, Pixy-Misa-Misao-Amano (last two from Ruroni Kenshin and Escaflowne right?), Queen of the Paperclips (I didn't know there was one), Ted (I know, but no longer!!), Silver-Entrantress-Elf, Lachwen, Anonymouse, siriuslyblack, aerinoutlander.

Chapter 7 – LissaPadfootLuvr, Marauder3Moony, wolfawaken, TeahLeafs, cheerful-pinkstar, queen-of-monkey-magic, Mistress-Genari (lovely lovely compliments!!), shannyauburn, Robin C, Sweetest Thang (really?), black-velvet-roses11, Fornax, Britni Puccio, little-angel123452000, omega-slytherin, Pleione, Emma Ackroyd (yes, I am alive. You know it's been too long when people are surprised by that), Dadaiiro (Moony's moon issue will be coming in about 2 chapters), Siri Kat (thanks for bringing that up, I wasn't positive, but I checked it out so now I am!), ScrewyLouie12.

To This Parrot has ceased to be - thanks for the tip, but I'm just not sure how to incorporate more action at the moment. The Marauders are very action-oriented, but as long as Harry's not with them, I don't want to focus on that. When he is brought in, there will be more action.

To leontine-456 - your review was so sweet! Yes, I will continue writing, but no, I don't have msn. No one's ever asked though!! Huggles!! -sweatdrop- Sorry that just makes me a little giddy.


	9. Lights, camera, action!

Disclaimer: If I was J.K. Rowlings, the sixth book wouldn't have been finished until the next decade. Not really kidding.

* * *

Chapter 9: Lights, camera, action!_

* * *

Everything I am_

_And everything you need_

_I'll also be the one_

_You wanted me to be_

* * *

It was time.

It was exactly 4 am and all the Marauders were tucked snugly in their beds, fast asleep. All, that is, except for one not-quite-Marauder.

But that status was about to change.

He crept out of bed with all due caution and bunched his sheets to make it look still occupied. While James or Sirius could sleep through anything short of a nuclear blast, Remus had the tendency to become alert at the slightest out-of-place sound. He wasn't sure if it was a werewolf 'perk' or not.

Harry then moved to his trunk and carefully murmured countercharms, before easing it open. Since he had to use updated books for the retaking of his O.W.L.s, he'd managed to convince Dumbledore that he needed extensive warding on his trunk. If the Marauders tried to get into it, they were in for a big surprise.

He rooted around a bit, until he felt the almost watery texture of the cloak he was looking for. With a grin and a flourish, he pulled the Invisibility Cloak out.

Of course, with such extensive locking charms, he couldn't resist bringing some of his most precious items, even as potentially problematic as they could be: his father's Cloak, his version of the Marauder's Map, the photo album of his parents, as well as pictures of him sans disguise with Ron and Hermione. Any of those items discovered would be catastrophic. But he could no more leave them behind than he could leave his past. Rather ironic really, all things considering.

Anyway, it was time.

He smirked as he swung the cloak around him and relocked his trunk. This was going to be, interesting. At least he hoped so.

* * *

James took a double take. Now as a wizard, a Marauder, and an Animagus he had seen quite a few, well, odd things in his life. This sight ranked up there, though not so much as by being startling, as simply unexpected. It was startlingly mundane in fact.

Sirius cocked his head behind him.

But it was Remus who finally articulated the surprise on their minds, brow furrowed. "Chairs?"

Sirius didn't take long to ponder though, never being one to carefully consider actions before springing into action, literally in this case. With an exaggerated whoop and bound, he catapulted himself into the nearest armchair (conveniently in the section they usually sat). Experimentally he shifted his weight around, before contentedly settling down. It was at about that time that he realized his enthusiastic acceptance of this new feature of the Great Hall was not being duplicated. James looked about ready to give an expressive eye roll, while Remus frowned slightly and Peter looked on wide eyed. None of them had moved.

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "What are you prats waiting for? These chairs are heaps comfier than those old benches."

"Don't you find it odd that those 'old benches' were replaced with these all of the sudden?" Remus asked patiently. The black haired boy stared at him blankly. "I'll take that as a no."

James shrugged and answered in his stead, finally beginning to move towards the breakfast table. "C'mon Moony, there's no one in school who'd pull off this elaborate of a prank." He paused, reconsidering. "Well, besides us."

Peter cleared his throat. "We didn't do this, right?" he squeaked, just checking. It never hurt to just make sure.

The Marauding leader rolled his eyes. "No Wormtail, we didn't," he said dryly, calling on years of patience experience. "The teachers probably did it to give us all a break, or mess with our heads," he concluded with a shrug.

"It's working," was Remus' muttered rejoinder as he finally stepped up to a chair and gave it an in depth examination. It was oversized with a massive seat cushion as well as a ruffled skirt covering its hard wood legs. James flopped into the armchair next to Sirius, who was already munching on breakfast, having quickly lost interest in the discussion in the face of food.

"I don't know Prongs," Remus finally announced uneasily. "I think you're giving the teachers too much credit." But he sat down nonetheless. When the chair gave no reaction, he seemed a little disappointed.

Peter, now fretful due to Remus' misgivings, hesitated a bit longer, but quickly hunger overtook him and he took his normal position.

Sirius took that moment to happen a glance towards the Slytherin table. After a minute, he looked back and paused eating. "What's up with the git?"

Eyes all swiveled to Snape, having no problem whatsoever making the connection, and observing him hovering over his seat with a thunderous frown on his face, waving his wand around with a jerky motion.

"If you're referring to Severus Snape," came a calm voice. "I believe he's checking his chair for curses." Harry raised an eyebrow as the Marauders turned to him, adding dryly, "I wonder why."

There was a pregnant pause. Relations between Harry and the rest of the sixth year Gryffindors were strained at best. They had to speak to each other – they still ate near each other as Harry's very presence attested to and he did have regular Quidditch practices with Sirius and James. Still, actual real conversation had basically been non-existent.

Sirius took up the gauntlet though. "He really thinks we would transform all the benches into individual chairs just to jinx his spot?" He snorted. "And he calls us arrogant." He paused before continuing suspiciously, "How do you know him anyway?"

Harry shrugged casually, already having anticipated the question. "I bumped into him in the library. He doesn't seem to like you lot," he commented.

"Feeling's completely mutual," Sirius and James muttered in unison.

Harry was about to continue, when Dumbledore stood up and called for attention.

"As you might notice," he began, his eyes twinkling as he gestured expansively, "our usual mode of sitting has been, ahem, transformed. Be assured however, that the professors have thoroughly tested the armchairs for jinxes and curses. They are completely safe, though the perpetuator is still unknown." A wave of murmurs at this revelation swept through the students, with more than a few eying the Marauders with either suspicion or confusion. Harry however, was positive Dumbledore eyed him in particular – the wizard always seemed to know exactly what was going on, even when there seemed no possible way.

"As the chairs are quite safe, we see no reason to remove them. The spell will wear off soon enough. So, carry on." He made a little motion and sat down.

Across the room, Snape finally grudgingly sat down. A bemused smile came unto Harry's face. Snape actually had nothing to worry about – something he wouldn't have thought he'd ever be careful to ensure. But the prank would indeed have to be eye-catching to get in with the Marauders despite that. His smile widened.

This was just going to be plain fun.

* * *

The day passed uneventfully enough, the armchairs making no signs of disappearing anytime soon. Speculation about where they came from dwindled as the students began to fully appreciate just how much more comfortable they were to sit in.

And so relaxed was the mood, that not a single person questioned their presence at dinner or happen to mutter even one countercurse over their chair.

Harry smirked. Showtime.

Bemley Bartleby had just turned to Parntia Jevlin, one of the prettiest girls in Slytherin if he did say so himself (though that wasn't necessarily saying much), when all of the sudden spurts of red, gold, purple, blue, and orange exploded from the Slytherin table. Parntia shrieked, setting off a cacophony of terrified screams and scrambling to get under the table. A few Slytherins, after an involuntary start, stood and starting waving their wands around, Snape included in their number.

The other Houses' reaction was surprise, but not shock, intermixed with plenty of amusement. After all, having witnessed dozens of Marauders' pranks, this was not necessarily a new novelty. And as the world outside grew darker, Slytherin's ties with the other Houses were steadily worsening. Not that it had ever been on great terms with the others. Seeing the Slytherin table lit up like a Christmas tree definitely made Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Gryffindor snigger.

The professors' table was far more severe.

"JAMES POTTER!"

McGonagall's bellow echoed through the Great Hall impressively, but without garnering the intended reaction. Indeed, the Marauders were far too shocked to even hear her. James had a spoonful of soup frozen halfway to his mouth, his eyes wide and shocked. His fellows were in a similar frozen shock, with Sirius muttering unconsciously "What the hell?"

They had never looked more innocent in their lives as they were, probably for the first time in their lives, actually innocent.

Professor McGonagall however, got up from her seat heatedly and stalked to the Gryffindor table. "Potter! Black! I know you're behind this!" She shook her finger in their faces, before spinning to gesture at Remus and Peter as well.

James blinked, his spoon clattering as it fell into his bowl as he leapt to his feet. "But we didn't do it," his tone far more bewildered than defensive.

"Honest!" Sirius blurted out, he, Remus, and Peter springing to their feet as well to defend themselves.

"For once," Remus added reflectively, appreciating the irony.

"We didn't do anything!" was Peter's contribution, as he emphatically spread out his hands.

McGonagall's eyes narrowed, but even as her mouth began to open, a curious thing began to happen.

Harvey Netleman, a Hufflepuff and proud of it, was watching the display at the Slytherin table with great pleasure when his chair suddenly jerked back. Confused, he braced his hands on the arm rests and turned his head to see who'd pulled on his chair. Just as he did so, the chair, quite independently, cleared itself from the table and began to, perhaps the best description is between a hop and a shuffle, approach the professors' table. Upon finding his attempts to get up out of the chair were ineffective (his bum wouldn't budge an inch), he resigned himself to enjoying the ride.

Around the room, in a seeming consecutive order, chairs pulled out from their tables, bringing along their often unwilling, but powerless riders. Snape's eye ticked as an empty chair from the other side of the table took off.

The Marauders watched the procession with open mouths. After a moment, Peter stumbled backwards, turning around only to find to his shocked dismay, his chair joining the procession! He paled dramatically.

Harry scowled. If only the rat had just stayed seating for one more minute…

Once the chairs had reached the Head table in a neat line, in synchronized precision they spun around and thirteen people found themselves facing their fellow students. (This was of sixteen chairs as half of the ones from Slytherin had been abandoned and Peter had been standing when his chair lurched away.)

There was a hush of anticipation.

And the chairs didn't fail to impress.

On cue, the chairs as one dipped elegantly, sending their riders scrambling unnecessarily, and music began to play. The ruffled skirts hitched up and…

McGonagall blinked. "Are they doing the can-can?"

Laughter shook the Great Hall as the chairs made impressive lurches to perform the dance with stunning precision, their riders for the most part frozen in shock or hanging on for dear life.

It took a minute for Harvey to figure out what the chairs were doing. He looked around and shrugged, knowing he couldn't get off. And if you couldn't beat 'em…

Harry lost it when Harvey raised his robe and enthusiastically began kicking, with a stunning lack of precision. He wasn't the only one either, James and Remus finally breaking out of their shock to laugh helplessly. Peter had snapped out of it much quicker, used to unexpected surprises as he was not always in on the Marauder gags. Sirius was on the verge of crying, whether from the sheer artistry of the prank or from nearly splitting his side laughing was anyone's guess.

The show, in hindsight, didn't last that long, only a few minutes. It seemed so much longer to aching sides, especially as two of the other riders got caught up in Harvey's spirit and joined in. Once the music stopped, they all sprung off their seats in a standing ovation as Harvey and the rest were released from their chairs. Harvey, ham he was, ate up the attention and gave a sweeping bow. He summarily got an assortment of single flowers thrown at him and a date request. But that's another story.

It took a moment for McGonagall to collect herself, but once she had, she immediately turned to the culprits as she thought. Before she could voice her accusation though, Sirius was all over it.

"That was brilliant! Just-just-brilliant! I wish we'd come up with that!" he exclaimed in frank admiration. "Just-unbelievable! We gotta find him!"

"It could've been a girl," Remus felt needed to point out, coughing up one last laugh.

"We gotta find her!" Sirius' enthusiasm was not to be denied.

"You boys didn't do this?" McGonagall felt light-headed.

Four innocent gazes turned to her. James spoke first solemnly, "Honestly, I would be beyond proud to claim credit for this incident, but we didn't do it." There were nods all around.

"And I almost ended up up there!" Peter felt necessary to add, shuddering at the thought. James and Sirius sniggered.

Professor McGonagall put a hand to her head. "Great, just what I need," she muttered. "Another troublemaker that I don't know."

Harry smirked covertly, but inadvertently caught James' gaze. Instantly he wiped it off his face, but James already had a knowing look on his face. The boy tugged his best friend to his side and urgently whispered into his ear. Sirius' eyes widened and he blurted out, "Har-" McGonagall suspiciously swiveled and James' elbow dug into Sirius' side, "d," he abruptly ended instead, though it sounded beyond weird. He coughed. "That must be hard on you Professor." He gave an innocent smile. McGonagall frowned and gave Harry a dubious look, but said nothing and presided to the Head table to undoubtedly begin the cleanup for the latest prank.

James, Sirius, and Remus immediately turned to Harry, Remus as well as it took him little to decipher what had just happened. Peter blinked, then belatedly copied their motion though he wasn't clear why.

"That was awesome!" This was of course Sirius.

Harry gave a tentative grin, "So I heard." The last thing he wanted was to make this into a pranking competition. And considering how long it'd taken him to both come up with the prank and set it up, they'd beat him in a heartbeat.

"Would you be up for some more?" James asked, a grin stealing over his features. He stuck out his hand.

Harry stared at it with a touch of wonder. It was happening. How long had he been waiting for this? Acceptance? His father's embrace?

It felt like his whole life.

He gulped and willed his hand not to shake. "That'd be great," he answered weakly, his insides feeling like they would burst as he clasped hands with his future father. Hazel eyes met green and both boys smiled wider in scarily similar expressions.

Remus blinked at the resemblance, but his mind was far more occupied with how they were going to keep the new Marauder from his secret.

Sirius clapped Harry on the shoulder. "Welcome to the Marauders Harry."

Peter and Remus gave him reserved smiles and Harry's grin wilted a little as he realized what that meant. But only in the future.

For now…

"The Marauders? Sounds like fun."

* * *

To all my reviewers, I'm so sorry and honestly, I feel far too guilty to read my reviews until I've updated so no responses to them this time.

And why this update was so late? Haha, that's a long, funny story filled with laziness and busyness… Okay maybe not that long or that funny.


	10. The new Marauder

Chapter 10: The New Marauder

-

-

The difference was like from night to day.

The boys were almost always around him, washing him in a continuous wave of inane chatter, jokes, and good natured teasing. It was a quite a transition from his previous habit of trudging down the halls silently and alone. To be quite honest, it was overwhelming.

He wouldn't trade it for anything.

The first thing on the Marauders' agenda was a celebration of Harry's entry. This, they decided, had to be something elaborate and gaudy and of course, a prank. As they plotted, Harry didn't miss the fact the teachers had increased their surveillance on him, Professor McGonagall peering suspiciously in his direction every ten minutes during class. It had to have been expected though, considering the blatant solidarity overtures made to him after pulling off the 'can-can' prank. (More than one student later came up to congratulate him, including Harvey Netleman, whose date, acquired through his performance, went splendidly.)

In the end, they chose Ravenclaw and Slytherin as dual targets, a bit ambitiously, and decided that the Great Hall was the perfect staging place, as a nod to Harry's own prank.

"It'll be perfect," muttered Sirius. Harry eyed him skeptically.

"I don't know," he whispered back, careful to keep his voice down as they were in the middle of Ransdale's class. Despite his first acclamations of the DADA teacher's merits, he'd come to realize that the class was still dreadfully dull. Thanks to the DADA club and his own experiences, he was now quite advanced and thus a mediocre teacher made the class practically a loss. "It doesn't seem terribly original."

Sirius looked staggered at the comment, as Remus snickered. The prank was completely Sirius' conception. James winced, having tried to avoid the sentence though it had run through his head.

Sirius huffed, "Okay, so covering the Ravenclaws in feathers isn't really inspired, but sliming the Slytherins?" His mouth morphed into a huge smirk. "It'll be priceless!"

Harry couldn't argue with that, though after the prank was pulled, he couldn't help fantasizing that Malfoy was among the cursing, splattered collection of Slytherins. He'd love to give the git a good sliming. Or maybe cover him in fur again. He snickered to himself. Draco never had really recovered from the weasel incident. At least one good thing had come from that impostor.

He shoved the thought away as Professor McGonagall outlined their punishment. Ah, bonding through detention. He perked up though, upon hearing Hagrid's name.

"…and after you've cleared the manticore's traveling cage, I'm sure Hagrid will find something else for you to do." She stopped to give the boys a severe look. "The manticore will be here in another week and I expect you to clean the cage every morning so it's ready for the Care of Magical Creatures class. That clear?"

"Your wish is our command," James put forth charmingly, sweeping into a bow. Sirius, not to be outdone, did the same and tried to snatch McGonagall's hand to kiss it, which she successfully avoided. Remus rolled his eyes, simply saying a respectful "Yes, Professor" as Peter gave a jerky nod, his desire to cower in dread fighting against his desire to snigger. Harry nodded as well, trying not to show his own amusement at James and Sirius' antics.

"Just be there," she instructed peevishly, before turning to eye Harry specifically. "I had hoped you would be a good influence on them Patterson, not end up being corrupted as well." She seemed to aim this at Remus in particular. Harry flushed a little, giving a sheepish grin.

The original Marauders just looked at each other. James cracked first and within a minute they were guffawing hysterically, memories of Sirius' McGonagall's spy theory still fresh.

Professor McGonagall huffed, but unable to do anything, she finally strode off.

Harry just raised an eyebrow, for once completely missing all subtext. Maybe there was more to being a Marauder than met the eye.

The boys were thorough in their indoctrination though. In fact, he even got that tour of the castle as he wished, though he was hardly expecting it at the time…

"HARRY!"

Harry nearly leapt out of his skin. "What, what?" he moaned groggily, scrambling from his bed. Blinking, it took him a minute to register the four boys surrounding his bed. To call them all awake was stretching it – Peter was obviously battling the urge to yawn and losing, while Remus' eyelids seemed to be picking their own battle to close. James and Sirius however, looked far too wide-eyed for three o'clock in the morning, as a quick glance to his alarm attested to.

"Time to show you Hogwarts Marauder-style!" Sirius announced, rocking back on his heels as if he was just barely containing himself from bounding off the walls.

"And make up for the dismal one Padfoot gave you earlier," James added, his hazel eyes gleaming energetically behind his glasses.

Harry blearily thought how it should've be an exciting prospect. Instead, he turned back around and was half-way into bed before Sirius caught him. "Where do you think you're going?" He gave Harry a hearty shake that made his eyes rattle before James stepped up.

"You can catch up on sleep later, it is Saturday after all," James stated and pushed him towards his closet. "Grab a robe and we'll go."

Remus gave Harry a sympathetic look as the other boy stumbled to do so. "Sorry Harry, they're like forces of nature. Resistance to their plots is futile," he spoke bemusedly from long experience.

Harry barely had time to shrug on a robe before he was dragged down the stairs and through the deserted Gryffindor common room into the equally empty school halls.

"We're not going to run into Filch, are we?" Harry hazarded carefully after some silent tromping. It was something he should've been worried about – he'd gotten on the bad side of this Filch for accidentally stepping on a kitten version of Mrs. Norris. He shuddered internally. She was just as nasty as the older one, youth not making her cuter one whit. But there was another reason…

James slung a companionable arm over Harry's shoulders. "Nah, we won't run into him." Harry was just barely able to notice him give Sirius a telling look and discern an answering crinkle of parchment. "We've been at this a long time," he finished confidently.

Harry nodded, his skin prickling a little with unease. He'd carefully interrogated Professor Lupin on the exact construction and usage of the Marauders' Map over the summer, but couldn't help being a little edgy. According to his best understanding, since he didn't technically exist in this time period, he either wouldn't show up on the Map at all or he'd show up at Harry Patterson. If Harry Potter actually showed up… He'd have a whole lot of explaining to do.

Harry rid himself of the thought. "So where are we going?"

"The kitchens," Sirius supplied immediately. Remus rolled his eyes as Peter immediately perked up. "We haven't been in a while, 'cause well, weren't sure you wouldn't rat us out." He gave Harry a wide toothy smile, oblivious to the rudeness, but Harry ignored the jab.

"This late at night? Who's hungry?" he asked, though now that he was more awake, he wouldn't go back to his bed for anything. Peter gave an embarrassed chuckle as Sirius just shrugged.

"Oh c'mon, you're gonna honestly say no to a midnight snack? Besides, it's not like the house elves mind."

Remus nodded though he knew none of them could see in the darkness. "I think our late-night visits are the reason they seem to adore Gryffindor so much." He nudged Sirius. "Though that could just be because of the lavish praise from one of us."

Sirius shrugged again. "They're heaps nicer than the house elf at home. Better cooks too," he added.

"Hey Harry, you okay?"

James stopped short as he noticed Harry had done the same. He peered curiously at the other's vividly pale face, confused by his sudden reaction.

Kreacher…

It took more than Harry thought he had in him, to prevent himself from screaming his hatred, seizing Sirius wildly, warning him… He trembled from the unexpected intense onslaught of emotion. His scar twinged unexpectedly in sympathy.

"Harry?" It took him a minute to realize that the others had gathered around him worriedly, Sirius and James darkly blending into the shadows, Remus' wan face lit by a single strand of moonlight, Peter just edging behind him. He felt sick, but collected himself.

"I'm fine," he got out, far too forced for it to be true. "I guess I could go for some hot chocolate or something." He gave a weak smile and unable to stand their scrutiny, quickly advanced through them a few steps before realizing he wasn't supposed to know where they were going. He stopped awkwardly, his steps still echoing sharply in the utter silence.

James looked at Sirius who frowned. Remus bit his lip, but was the first to follow Harry. They approached him on silent feet from years of practice.

"Yeah, I think I could go for that too," Remus offered and was rewarded with a slightly wider smile from Harry.

"First things first though," James stated authoritatively. "A real tour of Hogwarts should include the secrets of it." Green eyes immediately darted to lock with mischievous hazel as James grinned at the new comer. "We've done quite a bit of prowling around here Harry, and a Marauder always needs to know the nearest escape routes and things to watch out for."

Peter nodded emphatically, having been the first to memorize those features as he was always the one most concerned about getting caught or falling prey. They'd dubbed him the 'get-away guy' all the way back in second year, due to the quirk.

And thus began Harry's whirlwind tour of Hogwarts' secret passages and idiosyncrasies: which suits of armor moved, portraits to watch out for, stair cases which moved around the most, places frequented the most by Peeves or the ghosts, places frequented by the other Houses and teachers i.e. potential targets, niches in the wall to hide in, and even the Room of Requirement. Harry was quite impressed by the breadth of the Marauders' knowledge, as he definitely hadn't known as much about Hogwarts though he'd been there for the same amount of time. Then again, he'd usually had a lot of other things to worry about than which bathroom never had a line.

They managed to tromp into the kitchen through the pear portrait entrance after an hour and a half, being enthusiastically greeted by the Hogwarts house elves. One, Quibby, seemed particularly pleased by the visit and doted over Sirius zealously, scolding him in her high, squeaky voice for not coming sooner.

"I thought, sir, that Siri" Harry coughed in shock as Sirius' cheeks tinted red and the other Marauders sniggered wildly, "might not come and then I'd never see Siri, sir." Harry sputtered cookie crumbs and laughed hard. (The cookie was due to the house elves' dramatic horror at Harry's still a bit scrawny form and their decision he needed more flesh on his bones.)

Sirius refused to look at the others, instead awkwardly patting the now crying house elf's arm, as she dabbed her eyes on her oversized apron. "Um, well we're here and I'm sure we'll be back," he comforted her clumsily.

They walked out still laughing, Sirius trying to take it in good humor, though the vivid hue in his cheeks, visible even in the darkness, showed just how successful the effort was.

Harry gave him a comforting pat on the back. "Hey, it's not so bad. I once had a girl ghost offer for me to share her haunting place if I died." James gave him an incredulous look, but Sirius paused.

"Was she pretty?" he asked curiously. Harry just stared at him. "Not that that's the point," he added hastily, but it was too late. "I mean you said no, right?"

No one heard him. They were simply in stitches.

And Harry reflected as he got back into bed at five thirty, he'd never had such a simply fun night.


	11. Lions and wolves and snakes, oh my!

Hey, isn't this cool? Two for one! –This was actually going to be Chapter 10, but I felt I needed more actual Marauder interaction with Harry and then they kinda ended up two chapters. Lots of setup are in these two chapters for the future: the detention, Hagrid, Quidditch match, full moon,and more Snape! And never fear, Lily will be here soon again!

And please, if anyone has prank suggestion, please give them! Or suggestions of any kind!

* * *

Chapter 11: Lions and wolves and snakes, oh my

* * *

One thing didn't change after his induction into the Marauders – he observed them constantly, only this time up close.

He noticed that Sirius and James' interplay dominated the group, so tight like brothers just as Professor Flitwick had reminisced, with Remus being the steady, quiet voice of reason. Sirius would splay out haphazardly on a random squishy chair in the Common Room as James stretched out on another one next to him, idly playing with the snitch he'd nicked, and they chat, Remus throwing in a wry comment every now and then even as he'd scan whatever book he had with him.

Peter watched more than participated, Harry could not help but notice. It was somewhat of a morbid curiosity, to observe the boy who would grow up to betray all his friends that laughed and talked around him. Harry ruthlessly pushed the thought from his mind every time he caught himself staring at Peter. He couldn't separate the Future Peter from the Present Past? one if he was constantly looking for connections.

It had been far easier to deal with Peter's presence though, when he had not actually had to be around it.

Instead, he chose to simply bask in the mere presence of Sirius and James. It would catch him off guard at odd moments – them leaning over a game of Exploding Snaps, so close in times of intense competition that you couldn't tell where one head of hair ended and the other began, or anytime Sirius exploded in free laughter – the sheer wonder that he was there with them. The sight of him, in particular, happy made something inside Harry swell to the point of pain. Sirius without shadows…it was indescribable.

Still, they put him off sometimes. It was their attitude really, the one he had been horrified to witness in Snape's pensieve, shown in the littlest actions.

James' careless and limitless arrogance.

Sirius' overwhelming exuberance that edged into viciousness.

Their haughtiness and blitheness.

Features he had too often ended up on the wrong end of or had never had the luxury of experiencing. There were moments that disgusted him, James preening for one or Sirius' casual dismissal of other's feelings. It didn't change the fact he envied them.

And yet, how could he? Knowing how violently their easy camaraderie and feeling of safety would come to an end?

And the knowledge that all he had to do was open his mouth and that could all change. They probably wouldn't believe him, but the seeds would be planted.

He would not let himself entertain the possibility. He couldn't. He simply couldn't.

So he forced himself to not think about it.

He laughed, he brooded, he was evasive, he just tried to get by.

In short, he was Harry.

Perhaps the oddest thing for him though, was the fact he clicked easiest with Remus. It was an ironic thought, considering the fact he knew Remus was probably the most cautious about him, with worries of his werewolf secret on his mind. He was ever enigmatic, but his kind, mild nature was so like what Harry remembered and felt at home with that he couldn't help but relax. It was often a relief to be able to focus on him rather than the forms of his father and godfather, such a mixture of pleasure and pain.

But he was a definitely a Marauder, with an edge of sarcastic humor and roguishness that would erupt at odd moments, always catching Harry off guard. It served to remind him Remus wasn't simply a more youthful copy of his adult self.

Physically Remus looked much younger and hearty, though Harry could discern the worn down effect from his monthly transformations in the creases of his sixteen year old face. They dug deeper as the full moon approached and Harry couldn't help but wonder how the Marauders were going to deal with him on that night…

* * *

Remus could feel it coming.

The ache crept into his bones and the wolf began to stir restlessly.

The full moon was coming.

And restlessly, he fretted with the corners of his notebook. The list he'd been working on stared up at him: Harry (facts/secrets). The list hadn't grown as much as Remus had supposed it would. But Harry danced around their questions, even as they side-tracked his.

* * *

"_So why are you re-taking your O.W.L.s?"_

"_I'm just re-taking some and I was having a lot of family trouble at the time."_

_Harry got the strangest expression after saying family and none of them dared pursue the subject._

* * *

"_So you mentioned your Mum is Muggleborn?"_

"_Was." Harry's face clouded over. "I'd rather not talk about it."_

* * *

"_So how do you guys get around so much without being seen?"_

"_We just know the school really well."_

* * *

"_So Padfoot is because Sirius sleepwalks, Moony is because Remus is pale, Wormtail was Peter's pet rat, and Prongs-"_

"'_Cause James struts around like a big antlered deer."_

_Prongs glared at Padfoot, who merely gave an innocent grin. Harry seemed skeptical._

"_O-kay." Pause. "Can't really argue with that." Padfoot and he sniggered while Prongs looked indignant. "But wouldn't something like Tailfeathers be more appropriate?"_

* * *

Remus smirked. Sirius was still calling James Tailfeathers, now nearly a week later. His smile petered out after a minute though. Sirius and James shared an easy faux familiarity with Harry due to Quidditch practice and their very personalities, but they carefully watched their words and never let much slip. Both sides tip-toed around their secrets, neither pressing much for fear of upsetting the relationship just beginning. And secrets abounded…

Up 'til now. Remus looked up to see Sirius and James approach Harry's trunk.

Uh oh.

"Guys, what're you up to?" His tone had an undercurrent of warning. Sirius brushed him off.

"Oh lighten up Moony. You know the new kid's holding out on us." There were definitely oddities about Harry that the boys would love answers to: his scar, his seeming encompassing knowledge of Hogwarts, including lack of fright around the ghosts (he'd walked right by the Bloody Baron without cringing, putting the Slytherin ghost in quite a distemper as he'd been intending to terrify the transfer Gryffindor), his veiled distaste for Peter, minute little details that all added up to something definitely off…

"We're just going to see what's he's got," James justified. "It's not like we're going to take his stuff."

"Just invade his privacy," Remus muttered. He and Peter exchanged looks. He sighed. "For the record, I do not support this."

"Noted," was the boys' only response. Sirius and James carefully examined the trunk, a little wary of just flat out opening it.

"Considering Harry's caution, let's assume it's locked," James instructed. Sirius nodded and in an identical motion, both withdrew their wands. "On three. One…two…three!"

"_Alohomora!_"

What happened next was completely predictable in hindsight. Harry was cautious and had secrets. Harry was also a wizard. So to prevent people from getting into his trunk, he'd use? Magic.

Duh.

For two of the smartest kids in school, Sirius and James could be amazingly dumb, Remus reflected as he stood over the prone and immobilized form of Sirius, having bounded from his bed in an instinctive rush to check his friends were okay. James was in slightly better shape, the same aquamarine shade as Sirius, but with only his hands stuck together. Sneak was written in big, bold letters on both their foreheads.

"Brilliant plan Tailfeathers," Remus said wryly.

Peter wrung his hands. "Ooh, what's Harry going to do when he gets back?"

Remus cringed and set about breaking the curses on both boys. Well, trying at least. But he'd made little headway (the aquamarine shade had lightened to a cerulean color) by the time a certain blond returned to the dorm. He swept into the room somewhat distracted, going straight to his bed and dropping his books.

"Hey guys, are you up-" the question froze in Harry's throat as he turned and got a good luck at James, Sirius, and Remus, who had frozen mid-spell, his wand poised. James gave a weak guilty grin.

"Ah Harry."

They waited in vain for an outburst. Harry simply stood frozen, staring at them. Then, all at once, he turned on his heel and rushed out of the room without a word. James blinked in surprise, but felt his stomach thicken into a knot at the glimpse of betrayal that he'd sighted in Harry's green eyes.

He would've preferred an immediate blowup. Anything but the silent brooding that reminded him far too much of Remus and Sirius' darker moments. And the inevitable blowups were horrific. One had resulted in Sirius and him not talking for two weeks, a considerable feat to be sure.

He cursed.

* * *

He didn't know how long he walked the halls, but he was surprised to find himself in the library when he finally became outwardly conscious of himself again. He smiled bitterly at the irony that the library was now his refuge. Wouldn't Hermione be thrilled.

He sat down at a table and stared at his hands blankly.

He didn't know what to feel. He'd known that they would try to get into the trunk; that was the very reason he'd insisted on so many charms. In fact, he was surprised they hadn't tried earlier, when they'd been just observing him.

But he was in the group now. He was supposed to be one of them.

He slammed his hands down on the table.

The feeling of betrayal was irrational. He was keeping secrets from them. They knew that. They wanted to find out what the secrets were, so they snooped. A + B C. He knew it was going to happen! And how many times had he done something similar to find out things everyone seemed dead determined to keep away from him?

What's the big deal with his scar? What's on the Third Floor? Who's Nicholas Flamel? What's the Chamber of Secrets? Who's the heir of Slytherin? Why would Sirius Black be after him? Why would he hunt down Sirius? Why is his name in the Pot? What is in the Department of Mysteries? Where IS SIRIUS?

WHY IS VOLDEMORT SO OBSESSED WITH HIM!

He closed his eyes. "Who really is better off knowing the answers?"

* * *

Remus carefully rounded the imposing thick bookshelves, hoping more than believing he'd find the missing new member of Gryffindor there. It was still Harry's favored studying place and the only place other than the flying pitch that Remus had noticed him habitually visiting.

But he always used the books in his trunk to study, which he'd obviously not taken with him, and in his distemper, who knew where he'd end up.

He'd almost gotten to the study section when he spotted a hunched figure lingering in the shadows of the Dark Arts aisle. Brow wrinkled, he hesitated. What would Harry be doing around there? He took a step forward and the figure turned.

It wasn't Harry.

Instead, Remus found himself face to face with a scowling Severus Snape. Reflexively, his hand shot to his wand as Snape mirrored the move. They faced off, Snape glowering malevolently and Remus staring back with complete composure. Inside, he flinched. He hated running into Snape alone…

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the werewolf," Snape drawled. "Get tired of snapping after Potter and Black's heels?" Remus grit his teeth. It was just his luck James had convinced him into that stupid prank on Snape the first night back. Snape could hold a grudge like none other and after his close call with Remus' werewolf form, he'd hardly needed additional reasons to dislike Remus. Not hate though. That was reserved especially for James and Sirius. Still…

"The Dark Arts Snape? I didn't think the second best student in Defense would need to hang around here, unless for some other reason…" he returned darkly. He would know of course, as he was the first best student. Snape's small eyes narrowed and his grip tightened on his wand.

In a sudden blur, there was a flash of black robe and blond hair and someone was between them. "Lower your wands now," Harry spat imperiously, his mood still foul. Remus, taken aback by the missing boy's sudden appearance, automatically obeyed. Snape was not so quick. Black eyes locked with green in a silent challenge. But Harry was used to such challenges and if Severus' adult form couldn't cow him, the younger one didn't stand a chance. Muttering darkly, he reluctantly lowered his wand.

"So much for not being one," he sneered, his eyes sliding towards the slight boy behind Harry.

Harry snorted. "You should be glad it's me," he returned archly. "If I were James or Sirius, you'd be hexed and hanging upside down or something by now." The comment was made lightly, though it immediately garnered sharp looks from both other boys, Severus coloring obviously against his pale face. Remus racked his mind furiously for when anyone had bragged about that incident.

Severus' face twisted up. "Well, you better watch yourself Patterson. You never know when one'll turn and bite you in that group," he hissed acidly, his eyes again lighting pointedly on Remus. Harry cocked his head, registering the veiled warning.

"Snakes are the ones with the poisoned fangs Severus. And the nasty habit of eating each other when they get hungry enough. Or big enough." For power, he almost felt like adding, though it'd wreak the metaphor.

Severus' dark eyes flickered. "Oh?" he returned coolly, getting a sense there was a warning somewhere in there though why he could not fathom. "And I suppose lions," he emphasized the word mockingly "are so different."

"The real ones are," Harry murmured, his own eyes darkening at the thought of the rat. Snape sneered openly at the two Gryffindors.

"I guess you'll just have to be able to pick them out from the wolves." He turned on his heel, muttering as a parting shot, "And we'll just see how the lions deal with defeat on Saturday."

Harry frowned. "Saturday?" he repeated.

Remus blinked, finally coming out of the daze Snape and Harry's interaction had caused. What was up with that anyway? "The Quidditch match," he prompted, mind still reeling.

"Quidditch," Harry muttered. Remus looked at him in disbelief.

"You forgot? The first match of the year? The one that's got James and Sirius so riled because Hufflepuff dared to suggest it would beat Gryffindor easily? The one Prongs and Padfoot haven't shut up about for the past week?" Scratch that, he was beyond disbelief.

Harry smiled sheepishly. "Just forgot for a second."

Now companionably they strode out of the library, Remus giving Harry a pensive look. Quietly, he said, "I didn't agree with what they tried." He could tell Harry heard him by the way he stiffened, but the blond said nothing. "And when you see them, be sure to comment that pastel blue is a good color for them."

Harry shot a startled look at Remus in time to see the tips of the other boy's mouth turn into a smirk.

And his laughter rang in the castle.


	12. Caught any Snitchs lately?

Chapter 12: Caught any Snitchs lately?

* * *

Saturday dawned bright and clear, two days after James and Sirius' attempt on Harry's trunk, two days of awkward conversation avoidance. Sirius was too proud to apologize and too sure he had had the right to his action, swaying James to his side; Harry was too mixed emotionally to break the silence on his part. Remus abstained, a figure of mute disapproval.

The early morning had a slight chill to it, reminding the students that it was almost the end of September. Cloaks were tugged closed as the Hogwarts teams made their way out to the flying pitch, then tossed aside as the sun burnt away the wispy mist.

It was Harry's first game in quite a while, due to Umbridge's unorthodox (or was that extremely orthodox?) ban, and he was glad that apparently the Quidditch season started earlier here in the past. He relished the familiarity – the muted noise of the full stands, chatty commentary, and the competitive rush seeing another team on the pitch inspired. He couldn't help a few loops and zig-zags to release some extraneous energy, reminding himself as well of the slower capacities of his broom. It was a new Silver Arrow, the kind Madam Hooch had extolled and compared with the Firebolt when she'd first seen it. He had to admit that the grip was excellent, but the speed… Well, he couldn't have everything.

He braked and spun slowly, taking in a panorama view of the field as well as scouting out his father and godfather who both were flying by the Gryffindor goal posts. James was saying something that made Sirius grin, not that that took much as Harry had learned, while he carefully adjusted his grip on his club. Harry couldn't help the smirk that developed on his face. Wood had always called the Weasley twins a pair of human Beaters, but if Harry had ever seen someone that fit that description, it was Sirius. Danger, requiring a lot of energy, bashing things, targeting others, and fighting to win – the promise of any single one of those qualities was enough to ensure Sirius' participation in just about any activity. Add them all together and Sirius wouldn't miss it for the world.

It was odd though to see him in Gryffindor colors. They were just so bright and cheerful…

His eyes drifted to James, who, completely aware of his audience, was even now running a hand through his hair and making little speedy controlled zips across the Quidditch field. He shook his head. His father the attention-grabber. He couldn't help a little sigh, even as his lips betrayed his amusement and admiration.

He had definitely gotten his flying talent from his father.

When the whistle finally blew, he had to admit it was a struggle to keep his attention on his assigned task: the Snitch. Sure, he'd seen his father fly during practice, but that was completely different, especially considering James was undeniably a person who performed better with an audience. He couldn't help but watch as James expertly maneuvered across the Quidditch field, dodging Bludgers infrequently (as Sirius obviously made his self-appointed task that of watching James' back and targeting his rivals) while neatly setting up for goal shots. Though handling the Quaffle was a far cry from seeking the Snitch, Harry came to the conclusion that it was James' incredible reflexes that made them both such good fliers. He felt a surge of pride and giddy kinship at the thought.

Unfortunately, this scrutiny made finding the Snitch at the same time rather difficult, as he quickly deduced that the speedy winged ball was staying as far from James as possible – probably because of James' extraQuidditch tendency to toy with it.

Just what he needed, a Golden Snitch with a grudge against his father.

Another feature that made catching the Snitch hard was Slytherin. The house had apparently decided to 'encourage' Gryffindor to fail (thus explaining Severus' attitude) and was making quite a ruckus. Besides booing and hissing whenever James or the other Gryffindor catchers made a goal, there were a variety of floating signs that displayed messages such as 'Gryffindors eat dragon dung' and 'Gryffindorks always lose'. Sirius, in fact, seemed to have a whole row devoted to bashing him, which Harry, upon inspection, realized were likely a mixed group of his relatives and their friends. The site couldn't help but set his teeth on edge. Sirius didn't deserve family like that.

Nevertheless, before an hour was up, Harry finally did catch sight of the Snitch, flitting close to the ground around Madam Hooch's head. Unfortunately, Gidgy Revam, the Hufflepuff Seeker, had been visually marking him as the Snitch was being particularly elusive and she followed his line of sight. She spun around and went for it.

He immediately swept into a dive, cursing the speed of his –new– broomstick. Gidgy had the advantage as she was already lower even if she was on the completely opposite side of field. Harry flattened himself to the handle, absently missing for his glasses as the wind rush made it hard to keep his eyes open.

Fifty yards, twenty-five yards – there was a sudden whistling behind his head and he heard his name being called. A Bludger! The thought raced through his head and he made a split-second decision, seeing the blond blur that was the Hufflepuff Seeker coming in the opposite direction. If he dodged or swerved, she'd get it…

With daring precision, he immediately went into a stomach-churning spin, hearing the Bludger whiz by ear just as he did.

He kept his eyes on the Snitch though and pulled out of the spin at the last possible second, snatching the Snitch just as it was about to dart away.

Head spinning, he barely had enough composure to realize Gidgy was still coming – too fast and too close to stop in time. He threw his broomstick the remaining distance to the ground, flattening himself to it. His hair and robes fluttered as she sped right over him.

With a groan, he let himself flop on the grass panting, barely registering the roar of the crowd.

That had been a close one – but then again, given his track record, what was new about that?

* * *

James landed in surprisingly bad temper for someone who'd just won. He tried to be happy, but couldn't help the glower that settled on his face, watching Harry be swamped by the other members of the Gryffindor team and a good number of female fans.

Sirius, ever the faithful friend, remained by his side and clapped a hand on his shoulder. "Good game Prongs!" he congratulated. "That play where you avoided Dill, Knotlee, and the Bludger Gordon sent at you – I can't believe it got past me-"

"He's not listening Padfoot," Remus interrupted Sirius' prattle dryly, having just arrived on the scene with Peter trailing behind him. Sirius stopped short and peered at his best friend, following his gaze after a minute to Harry. His eyes flicked back between the two and he snorted.

"C'mon Prongs, the boy can fly like a bloody bird, you knew that from practice!" he chided James, referring to the fact Harry hadn't been able to resist the temptation to show off a little during practice to prove his worth. "And now you're jealous?"

"I'm not jealous!" His voice was far too annoyed to make the defense reasonable and James glared at Sirius. He was the Gryffindor Quidditch star after all and Harry was stepping on his turf, as unintentionally as it might be.

Remus rolled his eyes, but spoke up before Sirius could retort. "Then you going to go to his rescue?" James' hazel eyes flicked to the werewolf.

"Huh?"

"I know it may seem strange to you, but not everyone loves to be the center of attention." All eyes turned to the last Marauder. James watched him carefully and was surprised to see Remus had a point. 'Course Moony was rarely wrong, but still, someone not liking attention? Harry didn't though, it was obvious even from a distance. His smile seemed extremely fixed and as the fan girls clamored around him, he seemed to shrink a little. In fact, if James wasn't mistaken, he seemed to be backing away from them.

"Well what do you know…" he murmured.

At that moment, as if feeling the distant scrutiny, Harry looked up and caught sight of the Marauders. And his face lit up. To James' consternation, he made his way through the small crowd and made a bee line for them. Before he knew it, Harry was before him, a trail of curious fans following.

"James!" he exclaimed like the boy was an unexpected lifeline thrown to him and seized his hand, other hand still clutching his broomstick. "That play you made catching the Quaffle from between the two Chasers and then avoided a Bludger to make a goal was great!" The words tripped over each other coming out and James stared.

All he could tell next was a sudden blur and flash. He blinked and found himself facing the Quidditch fans, without a certain blond Seeker in sight.

"Where'd he go?" one fan demanded, glaring at the Marauders as if they were to blame. Peter gulped, but pointed to Gryffindor Quidditch locker room.

"Isn't that him?" Heads swiveled, to observe the swoosh of scarlet Gryffindor robes disappearing. Disappointment appeared all around, though most took the opportunity to gamely congratulate James and Sirius on their good games. And then they trickled away.

"You can come out now," Remus said, watching the last of the fans disappear off the field. James became aware of a release of pressure on his cloak as Harry cautiously straightened and peeked out from behind him. Seeing that was indeed the truth, he nodded at Remus and Peter.

"Thanks Peter," he murmured, fighting the chill going down his spine. It was far too strange to be getting help from the rat.

"Why'd you hide?" asked James in surprise. Sirius and Remus rolled their eyes.

"Ignore him," intoned Remus, moving aside for Harry to stand between him and James. "He doesn't know what modesty is." He eyed Harry critically as the boy rearranged his robes distractedly. "I assume you're not used to the fans though?"

Harry snorted. "No, usually people are too intimidated, afraid, or angry to come up to me," he muttered. He paused. "Well, except the time I won the House Cup." It wasn't only the enthusiasm that had unnerved him though – more the realization that almost all the girls who'd come up to him were the mothers of practically all the kids he knew. And seeing a girl he was pretty sure was the Patil sisters' mother, bat her eyes at him was just a little too unnerving. He shuddered internally.

Remus, James, and Sirius exchanged glances. Intimidated? Remus mouthed, raising an eyebrow. Sirius personally was more concerned about the inclusion of fear.

Peter squeaked. "Here comes someone else!" he announced. Sirius barked a laugh as he recognized the approaching figure.

"It's just Evans," he said dismissively. Harry froze, having been just about to hide behind James again. "Though I guess that's enough to make you nervous Wormtail."

James immediately straightened, running a hand through his hair last minute out of nerves. Harry, noticing this out of the corner of his eye, couldn't help but smile a little. It was just so, so cute, though he knew his father would be horrified if he dared to say so.

However, it was Harry Lily addressed herself to.

"That was a really impressive dive you did out there," she informed him. Harry couldn't help but beam at the compliment; a warm, open smile that felt like he hadn't used it in years. Getting Lily's approval was hard, considering the fact he'd joined the Marauders and he'd secretly wondered if he'd ever be able to get it. "As well as the fact you didn't then start a parade in your own honor."

Harry and James, whom the comment was of course actually aimed at, flushed in unison, Harry out of sheer sympathy.

"Oy Evans," Sirius drawled lazily. "Lay off the prat. 'S bad enough he got upstaged." James' flush deepened as Harry became preoccupied with the grass beneath his feet.

"Padfoot," said prat growled. Lily's lips looked like they were trying hard not to curve into a smile. She rolled her eyes.

"Oh forget it Potter. I'm sure you'll have won all the girls' hearts again by next game," she commented mockingly and with a last flounce, she went on her way. James cocked his head.

"That was a positive comment, right?" he wondered aloud. Remus snickered.

Harry looked up from the ground, still feeling a little apologetic. "Um, I'm sorry about Lily."

"What about Evans?" James straightened up, suddenly becoming aware again of his friends.

Sirius sniggered. "He's apologizing for making you look bad in front of the object of your smittenness," he informed James imperiously, straightening.

Smittenness? Harry wondered, blinking. Was that even a word? James didn't seem to have a problem though.

"I'm not smitten!" This was said with a reflexive boyish indignation to being accused of such 'unmanly' feelings. Not even Peter looked as if this statement was to be believed though.

Harry smiled. "Sorry Prongs, but I've got to side with Padfoot on this one."

There was a moment of silence, then in a sudden blur, Harry found himself crushing in a massive bearhug from Sirius of all people and dropped his broomstick. Reflexively his hands went to straighten his glasses, then dropped to his side as he remembered that he longer wore them. Hermione had specifically charmed Muggle contacts to be able to stay in for a whole week at a time and loaded him with extras. It was still weird though being without glasses. He hadn't realized how much a part of him they'd become.

The hug lasted a mere second, before Sirius readjusted his hold into a headlock. "Why little Harry, that's the first time you've called me Padfoot!" he said exultantly. Harry was struck by a sudden vision of Sirius crowing triumphantly over him at one years old, saying the exact same thing, and he choked.

"Ah Padfoot," Remus hazarded. "I think you're choking him." With a little chagrin, Sirius let go.

James smiled in amusement and thumped Harry sympathetically on the back. "And little Harry?" he couldn't help but poke fun.

Sirius got a thoughtful look on his face, squinting at Harry who stooped to retrieve his broomstick. And suddenly his face became incandescent. "Flighty!" he exclaimed. The other boys eyed him warily. "His nickname," Sirius explained. "Flighty!" He seemed enormously pleased with himself.

"Flighty?" Harry asked skeptically. Sirius wasn't actually calling him flighty was he? Not to mention, all the other nicknames came from their Animagi forms… His face cleared as his heart leapt.

James and Remus looked over Harry critically, before nodding decisively.

"I can see it," Remus approved.

James reluctantly acceded, slightly put out though that his form was land bound. "It'll work. So Flighty, how 'bout lunch?" he offered.

Harry, a shy grin emerging, nodded and they started to make their way to the locker rooms to change their robes. James blinked, suddenly realizing this was the first true conversation he'd had with Harry in two days – and the reason why. He elbowed Sirius before he spoke. "Um Har-" he caught himself "Flighty, I think Padfoot and I have an apology to give you." Sirius frowned, but James caught his eye and gave him a meaningful glare.

"Right," he agreed gruffly.

"We shouldn't have-"

Harry sobered up, his eyes dulling. "No, you shouldn't 've," he intoned. "I'm sorry you felt it necessary though," he added. "It's just – I have a lot of things that" he rushed, then paused. "you shouldn't touch," he finished heavily, thinking both literally and figuratively.

Sirius raised an eyebrow at this jumble, but Remus merely gently nudged Harry. "It's okay," he said comfortingly. "We all have things like that."

And when his eyes met Harry's, there was a complete shared understanding.

But how could it last? Given that night was a full moon.

* * *

Next up: the full moon and some pranks. And after that, finally, maybe a hint of an actual plot? Hmm, Harry has a nasty encounter with Slytherins, especially concerning a certain Black family member…

Also: vote. Should Harry become an Animagi? I think I've pretty much given away what kind of animal I think he would be, but I do want this to be in-canon between OotP and HbP. Not that it really matters as when the next book does come out, it'll blow a lot of my theories out of the water, as well as some of my characterization.

So Harry gain the power or not? I could go either way. I'm starting to have some real fun with this. Read The World Without Me by Eternal Cosmos which was awesome, working clichés to a tolerable level, though sometimes a bit much. Also, read The Wayward Trio, can't remember who by, which is great if unfinished!

So those are my recommendations. Please vote!

Toodles!


	13. Full moon arisin'

-I'm sorry this is late - my computer had major uploading glitches, so despite MANY attempts to upload yesterday when the chapters were ready, here they are today. I LOVE my dad!-

So consensus is: animagi! Be warned, it probably won't happen for a while, but once Harry is 'in' so to speak, it'll happen pretty quickly. And never fear – it will not be evidence of Super!Harry, but rather evidence of very good coaching by three others who've mastered it and all the tricks they've learned. I'm surely working on how the whole process will work.

Also – Harry will NOT a phoenix. That is WAY too Super!Harry for me. Honestly, I'm between a hawk and an eagle, leaning towards the first just because it sounds cooler, rather than any difference (as I really don't know the difference –scratches head-). And as noted, hawks/eagles eat rats, hehhehheh…

Now a bit of honesty – I've been considering sending Harry home early, simply because I don't know how to really extend this past Christmas time. Working in the animagi angle will help this dilemma (though I want Harry to have plenty of full moon nights with Moony and gang so I want it to happen by the end of Christmas break), but I'm going to hold off on the decision until I've read HBP –Seven days to go, oh yeah!- But if someone would consider adopting this fic…I might consider it.

Let me know!

And to everyone, if you've been thinking Harry is way too composed from the end of OotP, well let's all have a hand for Angry!Harry 'cuz he's making a come back.

* * *

Hold Me While I'm Here-

Chapter 13: Full moon a'risin'

* * *

It took Harry until dinner to notice Remus' heightened pallor and fatigued state. He had a good excuse of course – Gryffindor had an impromptu celebratory party for their exceptional start to the Quidditch season.

"Hey Remus, are you okay?" he asked concerned, distractedly passing a plate of rolls.

The other Marauders immediately stopped eating as Remus straightened. Peter twitched in his chair. "Um, I'm-"

"He's not feeling well," Sirius cut in, meaningfully looking at James, who was sitting opposite him and Harry next to Remus, and who nodded sagely.

"Yeah, he'll probably spend the night with Pomphrey," James added casually. Remus gave a weak grin.

"Nothing like a night in the Hospital Wing if you're feeling under the weather," he tried to joke and failing miserably. There was an uncomfortable silence.

As someone who'd spent quite a bit of time in said Hospital Wing, Harry knew on enough authority that wasn't the case at all, but before he could question him further, his memory decided to make an appearance. Duh, the full moon!

"Right," he said briskly, internally bashing himself and cringing. Right, just go ahead and get the Marauders worried. Brilliant move, Harry!

He absently reached for his goblet to cover his embarrassment, but bumped into Sirius' elbow and spilled it all over the table. He cursed and reached for napkins, his face burning. Sirius jumped to his feet to help him.

"Sorry Harry," he apologized briskly. He handed Harry his own goblet. "Here, have mine."

Harry raised an eyebrow at the unexpected gift, but Sirius grinned winningly and he simply accepted it. It was nice having Sirius genuinely friendly. He was always talkative and affable, but Harry could tell that he was still suspicious and holding him at a cautious arm's length. Once you had Sirius suspicious, it was very hard to convince him otherwise apparently.

Remus barely even picked his food after that, feeling his anxiety gnaw away at his nerves.

It was hard to be excited about a midnight jaunt when the fear of its discovery loomed high on the horizon.

* * *

"Do you mind if I sit here?"

Remus nearly jumped out of his chair as Harry's voice pierced his brooding. He gave a shaky, reflexive nod and the other boy slumped into the chair opposite him with a sigh of relief.

He'd been sitting alone in a corner of the common room, close to the Fat Lady, waiting for the hour to tick by until it was time for him to go to Madame Pomphrey's. He was alone only because the other Marauders knew he liked to spend the time alone, mentally preparing himself for his transformation. Well, that and dwelling on the depressing line of thought his transformation always brought on.

Harry took out a scroll and quill, juggling a bottle of ink as well as he carefully arranged all the items on his lap. "Don't worry, I won't disturb you much," he said casually. "It's just there's not really any other good spots to work down here and I really don't feel like going up to the dorm or all the way to the library."

Remus nodded again understandingly, having felt similar many times, especially since his friends were the ultimate trouble-makers and easy-test-acers. He glanced at his own pile of work – his formal excuse for hanging in the corner.

Harry grinned inwardly; who'd known being bookish could be such a great excuse for just about anything?

After a minute, he hazarded a look at Remus, who'd returned to staring blankly at the wall. "You know," he commented suddenly. Remus' gaze jumped back to his friend. "My friend Hermione'd be beyond shocked by how much I'm studying and pleased as punch." He gave a little snort. "Ron'd think I was mad." He suddenly flashed a lighthearted grin. "So I guess it balances out."

Remus' mouth quirked up. "Yeah, I guess." He paused, realizing he had the choice of continuing the conversation. "None of the other guys are really into studying," he confided. "Yet they still manage to pass with flying colors." Well, except Peter.

Harry smiled, feeling a distinct sense of appreciation. He really did like Remus, always had, and having a chance to talk to him freely was wonderful, especially with the added bonus of taking his mind off his upcoming transformation. "Sounds completely unfair," he sympathized.

"Oh yeah. Once in fact, we were all out until like three in the morning from sneaking into Hogsmeade and there was a test in Transfiguration…"

Harry leaned closer and soon the two were swapping various exploits and tales of their friends' various quirks, a bit edited on Harry's side of course.

It was Harry's dream come true. But the other Marauders were another story…

* * *

"What's he doing over there?" James said agitated. His pride still stung from this morning and seeing Remus and Harry chatting like old friends, especially considering Remus' usual solitary insistence, well it sure wasn't a balm.

"They look like they're talking." This intelligent comment from Peter was greeted with a very severe glare from a certain black-haired Chaser.

"Oy Prongs, leave it alone." Sirius said casually, moving a bishop and succeeding in taking another of James' pieces. The prat was making it way too easy to beat him. "If he was going to upset Moony, you know I'd be over there in a heartbeat." This was true – Sirius'd been even more protective of Remus and his secret since the abysmal failure of a prank last year. It however, didn't seem to have healed the breach in their relationship. Sirius idly wondered if it ever would disappear or if Remus would always be wary of him. He brushed the thought off easily though, with the ease of a sixteen year old boy in the prime of his life. "Besides," he added, "he won't be there for too much longer."

James eyed him sharply. "What do you mean by that?" Sirius finally looked up from the chessboard.

"Let's just say I had more than one reason for giving Harry my goblet." Immediately two pairs of eyes swung to the pair in the corner. "And it should be showing any moment."

Harry blinked, feeling the elusive sense of fatigue that'd been dogging him since supper settle deeper in his bones. He stifled a yawn.

"You looked beat," Remus commented. "Almost bad as me." They shared a careful grin over that, but Harry nodded.

"Yeah, I guess I'll just head up to bed early." A bit of a nap and then he'd be ready to head to the Forbidden Forest, armed with his broomstick and Invisibility Cloak. He couldn't wait for his first real look at Prongs as more than a Patronus.

He gathered his stuff, bid Remus a sincere good night, and made his way up to the dorm, oblivious to the watchful eyes of Sirius, James, and Peter.

Just a little nap, was Harry's last thought as his head hit the pillow.

And downstairs, Remus couldn't help a smile, even as he climbed through the portrait hole.

And that night, as Harry dreamed of proud stags, big black dogs, and howling wolves, a stag, a dog, a wolf, and a rat romped through the moon drenched woods.

* * *

Harry yawned and blinked blearily. Out of habit, his hand went to the stand next to the bed, fumbling for his glasses. It took a minute for him to remember he didn't have them and he stretched as his mind came up to speed.

He was in the past, no glasses, blond hair, with the Marauders. And it was the full moon…

He shot out of bed and raced to the window, hastily pushing back the window curtain. Instead of bright moonlight though, sunlight blinded him. There was a groan from the nearest bed and Harry dropped the drape immediately.

It was morning. The Marauders were back, safely tucked into their beds instead of gallivanting with a certain werewolf. But how?

He remembered coming up for a nap. But he'd been sure he'd wake up in time – because he'd been having undisturbed sleep like he hadn't in years, for the most part (Peter and Sirius snored like bears with a cold), he was well-rested. In fact, he was actually surprised he'd even needed a nap…

A feeling of intense cold began to settle in his middle.

He'd slept without dreaming for over ten hours. That just didn't happen. Not to him. It just wasn't natural. But how'd it happen? He was sure he would've noticed if any of the other Marauders had put a spell on him…

The cold became stronger as his mind replayed Sirius handing him the goblet at dinner. It had been full. And he hadn't thought anything strange about the offer.

His hands began to shake and before he even realized he'd had the thought, he found himself at the foot of Sirius' bed. He was quietly snoring away blithely at the moment, tangled up in the sheets and head half off his pillow.

Harry burned with fury. He'd drugged him, or at least the magical equivalent. He'd stood there and smiled, acting for all the world like it was just a nice gesture. Like he actually was just being a friend.

Harry's throat burned as the urge to scream and yell and throttle Sirius came over him.

Dimly, in the back of his mind, he knew it was illogical. Sirius was just protecting Remus. He had no way of knowing Harry could be trusted.

But it felt for all the world like a betrayal.

And of the highest kind, considering who Sirius was to him. And he didn't even know it!

His eyes burned next as he clenched his fists and made himself step away from Sirius. And then another step, and another.

And two steps became a run and he was storming through nearly empty common room, out the portrait hole, and off to who knows where.

So much for progress.

* * *

Who knows where turned out to be outside the castle – specifically Hagrid's hut. Harry just caught himself in time before knocking. Dumb Harry! He raged internally. He hadn't been 'introduced' to Hagrid yet, thus showing up on his doorstep would seem a little suspicious.

Just his luck, he couldn't even turn to his oldest wizard friend to vent.

He went stalking off next to the edges of the Forbidden Forest, viciously reminding himself of the fact he'd missed his first of limited opportunities to see Prongs, not to mention him with Padfoot and Moony. And all thanks to Sirius.

The hot burn of anger, frustration, and hurt filled his throat and he morbidly smiled at the fact it was so familiar.

The urge to crash and bash, to rip something to shreds just so it won't hurt anymore.

Sirius!

"**He's gone."**

Remus, now the solitary faithful one.

His wand was in his hand and he violently turned to the Forest. The Forest that had let Wormtail escape with all of Harry's hopes and dreams and future.

The tree thudded down to the earth and Harry didn't even contemplate what spell or hex or curse had done the damage. He attacked it with everything he had.

Kicking, punching, hexing, screaming 'til his voice was hoarse, the past and present and future all mixing and merging. "How could you-" Padfoot, Sirius.

"I trusted you-You were supposed to be there-" Sirius.

"How could you betray-" Padfoot, Peter.

"How could you leave me-" Sirius, James.

_Alone._

"Why do you have to be so brave-So lunatic-So reckless-" Sirius, James.

"Why can't you just leave me alone-" VOLDEMORT!

"Why can't I be with them!"

He collapsed, breathing heavy, bits of blood from numerous cuts on his hands mixing with salted water from his face. "Sirius," he whimpered.

"Now, I'd really wonder what that'd tree done to you." Harry whipped around, instinctively clutching his wand. Professor Ransdale, clad in nice brown cloak matching his hair, stood there, his grey eyes locked grimly on Harry, belying the cheery attitude. "But if I had to guess, it's probably just taking the place of a few roommates."

Harry suddenly realized the ridiculousness of the scene – him still in pajamas, pointing his wand at his Defense of the Dark Arts professor. Though given his history, there was no better professor to point it at. Nevertheless, he lowered the wand.

"We're fine," he said heavily, his voice having the raspiness of someone who'd just abused it for quite a while. Ransdale raised an eyebrow, deliberately moving his eyes to the tree Harry'd just massacred.

Harry blushed. "I'm just a little, stressed." This was definitely not something he wanted to discuss with his professor and he quickly brushed himself off. "Um, I should go get changed," he said awkwardly, avoiding Ransdale's eyes. The man nodded, his eyes fastened to his student as the boy passed him.

"You know," Ransdale finally said. Harry paused as the man turned to face his back. "I always find talking to people is better than taking it out on inanimate objects. But then again," Harry could tell he was walking towards him and his skin prickled, "using a variety of offensive difficult hexs usually does seem to get out all that angry excess energy out." Ransdale was now beside Harry and he felt his face go pale. "At least now I know why you're so bored in my class."

Harry swallowed heavily, but couldn't make any words come out. Ransdale's eyes glinted, but he turned away and began striding towards the castle.

"See you in class Monday," he called pleasantly, leaving Harry standing there open mouthed. "And be sure to bandage those knuckles."

* * *

Remus couldn't help grinning. The night had been way too fun, especially after the summer of having his time as a werewolf in a small metal shed without company. He was in too good a mood though, to dwell on the thought, instead dwelling on his a bit vague memories of exploration the night before. Padfoot had also been extremely rambunctious, probably from his own summer withdrawal from their romps, and they tussled like pups all night.

He had to admit that Padfoot was probably the most determining factor on how tame the wolf behaved, next to his own state of mind. Though he considered Prongs and Wormtail part of his pack, Padfoot just instinctively felt part of it and his mood always influenced the wolf. Padfoot had even helped the wolf hunt down a rabbit – something Remus'd known he'd be craving since he'd stinted so much at dinner. (Wormtail, of all of them, always got uneasy when he went hunting, probably for the excellent reason that if he wasn't part of the pack, he'd most likely be on the dinner menu. Prongs was too large to worry about such a thing, as it would take more than Padfoot and Moony to take him down.)

Of course, the fact he'd had such a nice evening just before with Harry, had also served to calm the wolf. He was always the most violent when he was worried.

And Pomphrey had definitely noted the difference – after shaking her head in surprise at the fact he only had a few deep scratches and bruises directly from his transformation, she'd let him go (well, after bandaging them and interrogating him on how the night went) instead of keeping him in the Infirmary.

Now he just had to decide if he was going to bounce on everyone's bed to wake them up really annoyingly or just collapse in his own. Even if the night had gone so nicely, he was still exhausted and aching all over from the transformation.

He gave the Fat Lady the password (Lion's pride) and stepped into the common room, only to suddenly stop short.

He'd completely forgotten about Harry.

The blond boy was sitting in the same spot as Remus the night before, for the all the world looking like he was imitating Remus as well – brooding while staring at the wall.

Remus' smile slipped a little, but he straightened his shoulders and walked over to him.

"You okay Harry?"

The addressed boy jumped a little.

"Remus," he said surprised and put his hand to his head, giving it a quick shake. Remus was already back? That must mean the night had gone well. He felt a stab of envy and one of anger directed solely towards Sirius. He'd missed it. "You look like you're doing better," he noted. Remus' smile froze, but Harry gave him a weak smile. "I'm glad," he said sincerely. There was a pause for a moment as the two boys stared at each other, before Harry gestured to the chair across from him. "You want to sit down?"

Remus bit his lip, but the striking resemblance to the previous night wasn't lost on him. "Sure." He gracefully folded into the opposite chair. Even as he did so, Harry began rummaging in the bag next to him, eventually retrieving a chipped tea pot and two cups. He'd been planning to run into Remus sooner or later… Remus raised an eyebrow.

"Up for some tea?" Harry asked distractedly, setting the objects down.

"Uh…"

Remus watched as he carefully eyed the tea pot and then gave it a cautious top with his wand. Steam issued and he grinned, reliving a certain similar experience from third year. "Hoped that'd work," he muttered and dropped a tea bag into the pot.

As they gave a minute for the bag to soak, Remus regained his original train of thought. "So why are you hanging out down here?"

Harry's eyes sharpened. "It's nothing really," he said quickly, busying himself with pouring them tea.

Remus took his, but didn't drink. "Is it the guys?" He took the fisting of Harry's hands as an affirmation, taking a grim assessment of the freshly bandaged knuckles. He only smelled Harry's blood though, which pointed to a more solitary cause – frustration.

But all Harry said was, "Well drink up, I didn't spell it." Unlike Sirius, he grumbled internally.

Remus obeyed and then gave a sigh. "Look, 'm sorry," he hedged, not sure he even wanted to know what Sirius had done this time. It took little guesswork to know Sirius was the culprit – Sirius was suspicious and rash enough to be abrasively harsh over it. "They're all just," he wanted to say overprotective, but that inferred there was something to hide or that needed protecting.

Harry blew up his bangs and came to Remus' rescue. "Not too open to new people. I get it," he said edgily. "It's just frustrating." He stared into his tea cup, fleetingly glad he hadn't used tea leaves. He didn't need anything else to depress him. It was bad enough his future godfather didn't trust him and felt necessary to go to magical lengths to ensure Harry would be out of the picture.

Struck by compassion, Remus tentatively reached over and squeezed Harry's hand. Emerald eyes flew up. "They'll warm up," he comforted him. "Just give them some time. In the meantime," he looked at Harry calculatingly. "You know, Sirius and James always prank each other when they get in a fight." His tone was overly nonchalant.

Harry blinked at the sudden subject change. "Oh?" he said intelligently.

Remus nodded. "They don't fight that often at all, but when they do, it's always a doozy. The pranks are usually the sign that they're ready to make up and laugh together again. There was this one time last year when James turned Padfoot into a poodle-" he stopped, realizing Harry wouldn't understand the true insult of the prank – James' own revenge over the Snape fiasco with Moony, but Harry snorted in laughter.

"I can just imagine him yipping around," he said, before breaking down into laughter. It took him a moment to regain himself. "Oh, I'd love to have a picture of that." Remus smirked mischievously.

"I'll see what I can do about that." He got up and blinked, realizing that the move hadn't hurt that much. The soreness in his muscles and joints always dissipated, but usually after a few days. Strange. He noticed Harry watching him attentively.

"Want some more tea?" Harry said, trying to be casual and only half-succeeding. Remus frowned a little and shook his head.

"No, I'm going to head to bed. I'm still pretty exhausted." Harry nodded quickly and began to gather up the tea accessories.

Remus paused on his way up the staircase, giving Harry a sideways glance. "Oh and Harry?"

The boy looked up from clearing the table.

"Have fun."

Harry grinned.

"I will."

* * *

Next time: pranks ahoy! And detention will be served, yeah Hagrid! And the Slytherins decide to deal with the newest Marauder, in force…

Recommendations: just about anything by JKLB and Harry Potter and the Time Cookies. Just plain funny!


	14. What comes around

Oh, my, goodness. I need Book 7, I mean, really need. I mean, hello SNAPE! I'm still balancing the 'is he, isn't he?' thing. Though got to say, this fic's definitely going AU and continuing! I will be re-aligning this story to fit details revealed (i.e. goodbye pretty Potion mistress, hello Slughorn and Half-Blood Prince).

Also, this prank was devised pre-HBP, I swear. I was inspired by cartoons…

GO READ HALF-BLOOD PRINCE! SHOO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN FANFICTION IF YOU HAVEN'T YET!

Disclaimer: oh, come on. The sixth book just came out! Do you really think I'd be writing this if I was the author?

* * *

Hold Me While I'm Here-

Chapter 14: What goes around…

* * *

By detention the next morning, Sirius was still clueless as to how he'd managed to get on both Harry and Remus' bad side. Not that it was obvious, oh no – Harry'd disappeared for most of the day, muttering something about homework and letters to his friends. It was hard for Sirius to believe he had any homework though, considering how much time he devoted to studying. Not even Peter or Remus devoted that much time to them, though Peter probably needed to. In fact, he was starting to think it was just an excuse to be away from them. Meanwhile, Remus was exuding his prefect 'You've done something and I disapprove' vibe, though he didn't say a word.

James and Peter picked up on it too, with the result that James became even more critical of Sirius' sleep potion scheme. He hadn't been pleased that Sirius hadn't told him ahead of time in the first place, and he thought Sirius had crossed a line, as he tended to when he acted on his own.

Sirius scowled. What line? He was just doing what was necessary.

The strangest thing was he still wasn't convinced that either Harry or Remus knew about the potion. Remus would've definitely confronted him and he was fairly sure Harry would've too. Why if someone had done it to him, he probably would've thrashed the person before even trying to find out why. All in all, their reactions seemed far too sedate.

So that just left the question, what else had ticked them off?

Needless to say, with such things weighing on all's minds, the walk to Hagrid's Hut was rather quiet. It was a little hurried too; Remus had insisted they wait for Harry, who'd been missing. When he'd shown up five minutes later, the only excuse he'd given was that he'd stopped by the kitchens for a quick bite in case their detention ran long. Which, in Sirius' mind, was completely unfair, especially considering Harry'd snagged an apple for Remus, studiously ignoring Sirius' own rumbling stomach.

"So Flighty, I don't think you've actually meet Hagrid before." James' voice pierced Sirius' brooding.

Harry started slightly, catching himself from answering an automatic 'of course I have.' "Uh, no."

"You've probably seen him at the High Table," James went on.

"You couldn't miss him," Sirius muttered. Considering Hagrid's size, missing him would've been quite a feat. Peter sniggered, while Remus grinned a little.

"He does have a way of standing out," the former prefect said mildly.

"The point is," James forged on, ignoring their commentary. This was important – seeing Harry's reaction to Hagrid could be a good predictor to how he'd react to learning about Remus, not that he planned on actually telling him Hagrid was half-giant. The only reason he and the rest knew was because Hagrid felt special sympathy for Remus and had expressed such. "Hagrid can be a bit, overwhelming. But he's really great when you get to know him."

Future father and son locked eyes, something in Harry warming at the obvious regard James held for one of his closest wizard friends. Harry smiled.

"I'll keep that in mind."

And then there was no more time for warning, they were before Hagrid's Hut. Hagrid opened at the first knock, with a grin that was far too cheery for so early in the morning.

"Mornin' boys!" Hagrid boomed cheerfully, as always filling the doorway expansively and towering over the group. "Was wonderin' how long it take yeh to get a detention with me. Actually thought it' be sooner." He winked and then clapped a meaty hand on Sirius' shoulder, the closest one to him, who swayed before catching his balance.

"Hello Hagrid," James and Remus chimed, Peter giving a smile edged with trepidation and muttering an indistinct greeting. It was Harry however, who garnered Hagrid's attention.

"Ah, an' this must be Harry, right? Yer newest par'ner in crime?" He stuck out a hand and enthusiastically shook with Harry, whose teeth rattled despite his attempts to moderate Hagrid's force.

"Yeah, I'm Harry. Harry Patterson," he responded. "And should detentions with you be something I should be expecting?" he asked wryly, though honestly he didn't mind a bit.

"If yeh hang out with this lot? Yeah. Me or Filch," Hagrid shrugged. "'Fraid Filch specially doesn' like yer lot and he jumps to give yeh yer detention." He snorted. "Says 'm too soft."

"But on the other hand, you're our favorite gameskeeper!" James said brightly. Hagrid seemed to redden at this compliment, though it was hard to tell behind his wild beard.

"Tosh," he waved dismissively. "Well, there's a cage to be cleaned and yeh boys better hurry if yeh want to make breakfast."

The Marauders followed his lumbering gait to the cage in question. "I bin tryin' to convince Kettleburn he needed a real one to teach on fo'ever. An' finally did it even if it's jus' on loan, stubborn man!" He shot a triumphant look at the students trailing him, but one look at the actual creature in question had driven all thoughts of Hagrid out of their minds.

It was lying down at the moment, its full maned head settled deceptively peaceful on its clawed paws. It seemed larger than a regular lion, not that any of them had actually seen a normal lion up close. Of course, their eyes were then drawn to what exactly distinguished the manticore from its normal brethren. Three snakes lay coiled at the place a fur-tipped tail should be, though at the boys' approach one had scented the air with its tongue and risen up, eying them suspiciously though silently.

"Isn' heh cute?"

Harry made a choking noise, his mind flashing through all the creatures Hagrid had called 'cute' over the years. "Cute like a three-headed dog," he announced brightly before the others could comment. He got odd looks from the Marauders, but Hagrid lit up.

"Yeh seen one?"

"Er, once or twice," he hedged, before quickly going on. "Uh, how are we supposed to clean his cage with him in there?"

"Oh, I'm gonna take 'im out and chain him up," Hagrid said blithely, patting the thick chains draped over his shoulder. Peter's eyes widened.

"You're letting it out?" he squeaked. "With us here?"

"Oh, it'll be fine," Hagrid brushed off the boy's concern easily. "I can take care of 'im." Peter didn't look the slightest bit relieved, and even Sirius looked a little leery. James and Remus shared a simple grim look of amusement. Harry, having had the chance to see the half-giant take nearly a dozen stunners and still escape, not to mention wrestle with his fullblood giant brother, merely nodded.

Needless to say, the drama of the following few minutes as Hagrid entering the cage, bringing down the manticore who'd sprung to life as soon as Hagrid had intruded, and then dragging it out, was watched with extremely rapt attention.

"'Kay boys, the cage's all yehs!" He said gaily, before beginning the complicated process of weaving the chains into a knot around a post right between their current position and the cage – a deeply rooted post the Marauders feverishly hoped. James, ever the leader, nodded in agreement and was the first to move. The others followed, each one eying the snarling manticore with no small amount of apprehension. The manticore's head was occupied with trying, unsuccessfully, to bite Hagrid, but his tails were another matter. All three fixed their eyes on the passing boys and hissed ominously. And to Harry's chagrin, completely understandably…

"_One sssstep closssser…"_

"_My fangssss itch…"_

"_Horrible humanssss…"_

To Harry's horror, Remus paused and leaned a bit to examine the snakes a bit closer. After all, he'd never seen a manticore before and he had quite a few questions, particularly how the snakes existed with the lion. Was it some kind of parasitic relationship? The second snake coiled up in itself and its hiss intensified.

"_Come werewolf and feel my poisssson…"_

Harry grabbed Remus' arm and quickly pushed him forward. "You shouldn't get so close," he said quickly. "You never know when a snake's just readying to attack." Well, unless you were him. Remus looked at him a little strangely, but shrugged it off.

The rest of the detention went without a hitch, finishing quickly between the five of them though it was rather gross. But Harry couldn't help the chilly feeling in his chest…

Damn snakes.

* * *

They bid Hagrid a fond farewell and trudged back to the castle.

"Well that didn't take long at all," Remus commented.

Sirius put a hand to his heart. "Do my ears deceive me? Or did you honestly want a longer detention?" he announced dramatically. The manual labor apparently hadn't dampened his spirits at all, if anything they'd improved it.

"Well, we do have to do it every morning for the rest of the week," Peter reminded them.

"Whatever," Sirius said dismissively. "Besides if Hagrid lets us out at this time all the time, we'll never miss breakfast!" Obviously this pleased the black haired boy immensely.

Harry smiled at his enthusiasm. "Yes, I'd rather not miss breakfast."

Sirius gave him a somewhat sour look. "Says the boy who's already stopped in the kitchens," he muttered. He received an elbow in the ribs from James for that. But Harry didn't respond and Remus' eyes narrowed.

"Yes, I think I don't either," he murmured.

* * *

Despite Remus' watchfulness though, breakfast proceeded uneventfully. All Harry did out of the ordinary was attach letters for his friends to his loaner owl from the school. (Remus wasn't sure why he didn't use his own owl, but Harry had just muttered something about school regulations and complicated travel.) Harry didn't seem particularly interested in anything the others ate though, as Remus had been anticipating. He frowned at the tart he held in his hand, trying to suppress the feeling of disappointment he could feel swelling. Maybe he'd been wrong…

"What's up with you Moony?" Sirius' voice made Remus jump. He blinked only to realize that Sirius and then the rest were looking at him curiously.

"Huh?" he responded intelligently.

"You've been staring at that tart for five minutes," James said helpfully.

"And you're usually starving after," Sirius made an expansive motion, "you get sick." Peter, predictably, looked a little puzzled at the remark, before it registered and he nodded in agreement. James spared a sideways glance at Harry, but the blond merely looked at Remus with mild concern.

"Uh, the smell from this morning's just put me off a bit," the werewolf said evasively. That wasn't a real lie – the smell had been terrible, especially to his still full moon honed senses. Sirius nodded and let his gaze survey the table idly, before snagging on a bowl that'd just appeared. He blinked, before picking it up.

"What's that, Padfoot?" James asked curiously, finishing off his orange juice.

"Dunno," he picked up a clear wrapped piece and sniffed it, unconsciously reverting to canine behavior. Harry's mouth fought to turn up. "Think it's some kind of mint."

"Like an after-breakfast mint?" James was intrigued and took one himself.

"Look, every table's got one," Peter piped up, beady eyes skittering across the room. And so it was, on each table had appeared a bowl with a few candies, the Slytherins examining theirs with great suspicion.

Up at the High Table, Professor McGonagall stiffened and turned suspicious eyes towards the Marauders. But Dumbledore held out a hand, pointing out Sirius and James' behavior and she subsided, not even registering the twinkle lighting the Headmaster's eyes.

"Guess the teachers are givin' us a treat," Sirius commented idly, before quickly unwrapping the mint and popping it into his mouth, conveniently forgetting the last time a very similar explanation had been given – and why it had been wrong. James shrugged and followed suit.

"Want one Flighty, Moony?" he offered, sucking on the candy. Harry shook his head.

"Not much of a mint person myself." Remus resisted the urge to smirk and refused as well.

"Well Wormtail, guess it's yours." James nudged the bowl towards the last Marauder and Peter was halfway extended towards the last candy in the bowl when it happened.

Sirius cocked his head. "Did the owls come back?" he said aloud, stopping suddenly as he realized his voice was two pitches higher than normal. Remus started a very bizarre mixture of choking and laughing, as Peter froze, his eyes becoming very large. "Prongs!" Sirius, well, squawked, his hands flying to his throat.

James though, was completely oblivious, his attention focused on something a little higher than Sirius' mouth. He was staring open mouthed at the three little yellow birdies orbiting Sirius' head. It took him a long minute to realize the flapping sound he was hearing was too loud to be from only Sirius' birds. He looked up and cringed. Sure enough, three yellow birds were making circuits. "I've got birdies," he murmured rather light-headed, in the same high pitch as Sirius.

Harry lost it and Remus was a goner after that. Tears began to stream down their faces as Sirius began a vicious cycle of yelling and then stopping at the sound of his voice. Even when he finally crossed his arms and just started sulking, the laughter went on.

Needless to say, no one else dared to touch the mints after that – save for the unfortunate few who'd consumed them before noticing the consequence. Despite their friends' teasing, it turned out to be rather nice – the girls thought the birds were adorable and they only infrequently chirped.

The Slytherins weren't so lucky. The few that had consumed the mints of their number, ended up having miniature anvils swing round their heads – anvils that were indeed real as one particularly thick Slytherin had the misfortune to figure out when he tried to bat them away. Snape sneered at them all.

Idiots.

* * *

The birdies and anvils persisted into the day of classes, much to Sirius, James, and the Slytherins' mortification. Countercharms and spells were completely ineffective, even those performed by teachers, much to Professor Flitwick's consternation and McGonagall's embarrassment. Seeing as Sirius and James themselves had been caught in the prank, she could not very well blame them, but Harry was very aware of the pointed looks she gave him during Transfiguration that morning.

Then, to her great annoyance, she ended up having to dismiss both James and Sirius from class – as the charm unlocked by the mint began to dissipate, the birds began to bump into each other resulting in a mess of feathers and irritated squawks. This was merely compounded by the fact the two best friends, taking consolation from their shared plight, had sat next to each other.

By the time Harry, Remus, and Peter joined the two outside of class, the birds were finally flickering out of existence – a motley bundle of plucked skin and a few bedraggled feathers. Sirius was nursing one of his fingers.

"Blighters have sharp claws," he muttered, his voice still abnormally high, as Remus began to snicker all over again. James threw him an empathetic look, but spoke to Harry.

"So how'd you pull it off Flighty?"

Harry's face loosened, seeing James' relaxed grin had no traces of anger. Even with Remus' assurances, he'd wondered… "My friend Ron has twin older brothers, biggest pranksters I ever met," he paused, "well, 'til you. They're actually starting a joke shop and they let me have a few of their original, er, products to try out."

Sirius' mood did a complete 180. "That's brilliant!" He jumped up and abruptly threw a companionly arm around Harry's shoulder. "Don't happen to have any more of their stuff, do you?" he asked in an undertone.

James punched him in the shoulder and rolled his eyes. "Always scheming Padfoot," he tisked. "That's what got us into this mess." Sirius' eyes flew to James. "We tried to invade Harry's privacy, remember?" His eyes shot lasers into Sirius, well knowing what the other's mind had jumped to instead.

Sirius nodded jerkily and blinked when Harry pushed his arm off, though not roughly. "Forget about it," he said dismissively, before grinning and lightly bumping Sirius' last bird. It flickered out at the touch. "Let's just say we're even."

Sirius' lips turned into an unwilling smirk and he unceremoniously reached and ruffled Harry's hair, noting in the back of his mind that he'd never thought he'd see hair as messy as his best mate's. "I think I like the way you think Flighty."

This time Remus rolled his eyes, starting to end for their next class – Potions. "That's because it's exactly what you would've done."

James snorted in agreement and moved to the other side of Harry as they all started on their way.

"By the way, did you know the birds would start crashing into each other?"

Harry shook his head. "No, but they're still pretty much prototypes," he added. "Maybe Fred and George'll be able to work out that bug later."

"Do you think the anvils had the same thing happen?"

The question was so innocent, so careless it took a minute to sink in to Harry and Sirius' minds.

Harry stopped short as Sirius exploded in laughter.

"Oops."

* * *

Okay, I know I promised Slytherin interaction for quite a while, but I really, really wanted to keep my two week promise, so voila.

GO READ HALF-BLOOD PRINCE! SHOO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN FANFICTION IF YOU HAVEN'T YET!


	15. Goes around

SHE'S ALIVE!!

–cough–

Happy belated Halloween?

* * *

Hold Me While I'm Here-

Chapter 15: Goes Around

_

* * *

_

I'll never let you down

_Even if I could_

_I'd give up everything_

_If only for your good_

* * *

Of all the strange things in the past, the one phenomenon that Harry still found odd (but no less wonderful) was an unbiased Potions teacher – with a sense of humor. To be more specific: having a Potions teacher who was the Head of Slytherin, yet found his little prank of the morning downright hilarious, even if it was more severe on Slytherins. Yes, Professor Slughorne had finally appeared from his potions convention – that had some long distinguished name that Harry couldn't remember. It was very strange watching the portly man chuckle into different cauldrons at odd moments, as if repeatedly playing back the morning's incident mentally. Harry tried to think of the last time he'd seen Snape laugh, let alone chuckle, and then filed the thought under 'creepy things not to be visualized'.

Slughorne's jovial mood however, didn't extend to the rest of the Slytherins, who shot Harry black looks throughout the entire class period. At least one of them had been caught up in the prank – fumbling awkwardly around his cauldron, he was obviously nursing a swollen hand and seemed completely hard of hearing. Despite this, he ventured no more than hissed questions to his fellow housemates, while glaring heatedly at the assorted Marauders (short one as Peter definitely hadn't scrounged up a high enough grade to continue on). Harry couldn't blame him for not risking using his voice; Sirius and James still squeaked at odd moments. Swallowing a snigger as Sirius' voice hit a high C when asking Remus if he needed to add more mugwort, he made a mental note to mention that in his next letter to the twins.

Mercifully, Potions wrapped up with nothing more severe than glares. Again, Harry couldn't help but feel a deep sense of gratitude for a teacher who didn't actively look for reasons to take off House points or ways to torment him as he reached for his bookbag.

But apparently, teacher status wasn't the definitive factor as he turned to be greeted by Snape's ever-present sneer. Stiffening his shoulders, he readied himself for vitriol. However, it was just about then the other Slytherins decided to make their exodus. As Harry and Severus were blocking the aisle, they were 'moved' out of the way. Harry's books went flying.

"Out of the way, mudblood," the burly Slytherin growled, apparently finally deeming it safe to talk.

Sirius immediately bristled as James straightened, jaw firming as he slipped into what Harry had come to recognize as leader mode. Before they could act however, Remus and another boy beat them to it, kneeling down to help Harry gather his assorted textbooks. Blond, dirty as it was, and lithe, he reminded Harry a little too much of Malfoy. Startled by the unexpected help, Remus paused after grabbing the nearest book to him.

"Now Nott," the other boy, Evan Rosier, chided. "It wouldn't do to be rude to Patterson." He offered the book he'd picked up to Harry. "He might put anvils _in_ your head next time." His eyes fastened on 

Harry, he could see they held no humor despite his comment, instead only a cold and grim disdain. Warily, Harry accepted the proffered book.

"There'd certainly be enough room for them," Sirius grumbled aloud and Rosier's eyes dropped several degrees, his lips solidifying. A vision of calculating, menacing merfolk flashed in Harry's mind and he had to resist the urge to shiver.

But the Slytherin said nothing, just fluidly rose to his feet and gestured to his two companions: Nott and Kalima Pratt, an almost attractive Slytherin brunette. "Well, wish we had time to chat," his smile was absolutely brittle. "But you know, things to do. Maybe later Patterson."

Harry felt uneasy under the resolve in those eyes. He didn't like what they promised. But without any further ado, the trio left. Remus, trying to ignore the chill they left behind, offered the textbook he'd retrieved, realizing only as he did that he didn't recognize the battered potions manual.

Snarling, Severus snatched it before Harry could. "Paws off, Mangey." He swept out of the room immediately, more than likely to avoid any possible fall-out in the absence of other Slytherins.

"Arseholes," Sirius growled vehemently as Remus gave Harry a hand up. James nodded in agreement.

Lily, flanked by her friend and fellow Gryffindor Marna Wimblee, a small buxom brunette, frowned at the witnessed scene, but was once again left in the dust before she could voice either her concern or disapproval.

* * *

Severus had just arranged himself into a comfortable studying position in the Slytherin common room when Rosier swept down the stairs. Still trailing Nott, he appeared in mid-sentence.

"-simple enough plan." Severus' ears practically perked at the word 'plan'. It was always best to be aware of any in action, he knew from long experience.

"But how do you know he'll go to the library?" Nott's voice had a hint of a whine and Rosier rolled his eyes, absently twirling a book in his hands.

"It's practically the prat's second home. He'll go there first."

Without warning, the portrait hole swept open and Pratt stuck her head in, glimpses of another behind her. "You guys ready to go yet?"

"We have to give him a little time to get there," Rosier returned evenly, Severus preoccupied himself with his work as the blonde's eyes swept the room. The book twirled again. "Snape." Severus stiffened, but looked up. Rosier's head was cocked, eying the other speculatively. "Want to have some fun with a certain sixth-year Gryffindor?" Nott's frown deepened, but a simple outstretched arm forestalled any argument.

Severus knew what he was being asked, but he was wise. "Tempting-" he started dryly.

"He might bring friends." The boy's eyes gleamed as something dark twisted in Severus. He stood up.

"Fun is fun," he stated bitterly and Rosier smirked in satisfaction.

* * *

Harry wasn't sure when he gained the talent. But somewhere between the long library hours and the caution he had to exercise to make sure his necessary future textbooks were never unduly exposed, he had gained the ability to discern if he was missing any book. He scanned over the mass once again and then with a sigh, headed for the portrait hole. He was pretty sure he hadn't left any books behind in Potions, at least none on the floor, which meant he'd probably forgotten it in the Library the previous day.

Sirius noticed first. "Oy Flighty, we're still waiting for the rat," he called from his prone position on the couch, not completely happy. Lunch was tantalizing close, but for that slowpoke.

"I need to get something," Harry returned, opening the portrait hole. "I'll meet you there."

James looked up from the bouncy ball he was toying with. (He swore it was only to sharpen his Quidditch reflexes; the other Marauders mocked him mercilessly, maintaining it proved he was way too easily amused.) "Want some company?" He half-rose from his seat.

Harry shook his head. "No, I'm fine." And he disappeared.

Staring after him, James frowned. "Why does he do that?" he mumbled. Remus' gaze rose from the book he'd pulled out for some impromptu studying.

"Do what?"

"Go off like that," James made a vague gesture in the air. "Alone." Remus, ever perceptive, read the underlying complaint.

"It figures it'd bother you," he remarked casually. "you're too alike." Both of the other Marauders stared at him, Sirius craning his neck at what had to be an uncomfortable angle.

"Prongs and Flighty?" Sirius was skeptical.

Remus sighed. "If you'd listened to any of Harry's stories about him and his friends, you'd notice he's the ringleader." He put it in simplest terms. "He's their Prongs."

Sirius blinked at the odd thought, while James frowned. "But I do just about everything with you guys," he argued. "Harry goes off on his own much more than I do."

Remus shrugged. "He is a more of a loner," he conceded. "He's never mentioned anyone other than his school friends. The whole wizard thing probably made him unpopular prior to that and he got used to being alone."

There was a solemn pause for a second before the werewolf got assaulted with a pillow. "Hey!"

Sirius, the culprit, shook his head in mock reproach. "Moony, you think too much."

Moony just huffed.

* * *

The hallways around the library were almost always deserted. Harry had never really stopped to think about it, but it was true. People didn't like to study in the library, except around exam time, and if taking out books, people made quick getaways. Harry wasn't sure why – Madam Pince wasn't that awful. Of course, that was given his definition of awful leaned toward the side of homicidal or double-crossing back-stabbers…

So when he turned the corner to the library's corridor and spied a mass of people, he felt the first prickle of unease. When he recognized them, it knotted into a mass that fell like lead in his stomach.

Rosier stood in front of course, flanked by Nott, Pratt, Severus, and a boy Harry didn't recognize. Nott wore an angry scowl, obviously itching for payback for his earlier humiliation, while Severus merely looked closed off. The last two wore matching expressions of disdain.

Rosier tutted as Harry came to a stop. "Well whattaya know, a Gryffindor wandering the halls all alone." The Slytherin was all ease and nonchalance, making Harry tense. An enemy was only so blasé when confident of the upper hand. "Looking for something perhaps?"

Any hope their meeting wasn't an ambush quickly died as Harry recognizing the cartwheeling book in Rosier's hands. Damn. "What do you want?" he asked, stalling as he tried to think of someway to get out of this situation. Where was the nearest Marauder route?

The query was ignored. "It's too bad you didn't bring your friends. This will be easier, but less fun." He made a gesture and the wands were out, Harry reluctantly withdrawing his in turn, speedily enough to make up for his hesitation. Five on one was not good odds, despite the fact he knew he had far more experience.

"It was just a prank," Harry stalled, backing up a step. At least he had a better position – he wasn't that far from the corner.

Nott looked ready to take him out just for that, but Rosier forestalled him. "You and your little pack of 'Marauders'," he threw out the word mockingly, while far on the left Severus stiffened. "have gotten out-of-hand. Slytherin is not one to be mocked and it's time you learned that."

"Yeah," Nott grinned with vicious enthusiasm. "And when I'm done with you, you'll wish you'd just had anvils bash into your head." Harry's grip tightened at the feral gleam in his beady eyes.

"It is too bad that b--tard mudblood-lover didn't come with you," the final boy spoke up disdainfully. Harry, though blood reaching a slow boil at the insult to his father, risked a good look at him and was momentarily thrown by the sense of familiarity. Did he know him? His face was too young, built too slight for sixth year. Perhaps he knew him in the future? "But then again, it's not like he ever leaves the side of that other mud-lover." He spat at the ground. "Spoils the name Black-"

"Really Regulus," Harry's eyes widened. "you can go into a long tirade over your traitor brother later," Rosier chided. "Let's just focus at the issue at hand."

Regulus nodded, but couldn't help adding almost to himself, "I know. But someday one of us'll be able to clean him from the family name." His eyes glinted in the dim light and the hair on the back of Harry's neck rose. "Hopefully me or Bella."

It was the wrong thing to say.

Harry's mind detached as the emotions and images shattered over him.

Bella – _Bellatrix – laughter – Sirius! – falling, so surprised – fighting – Bellatrix! – "No, Sirius!" – held back – _waking up at night covered in sweat – _screaming at a portrait – stuck in that awful house – "filthy mudblood lover" – disappeared – "He can't be dead!" – veil waves in nonexistent wind – throwing Unforgivable – "You got to mean it boy" "that almost stung" – Sirius! – they're so damn happy about it!_

It didn't actually end until he found himself wand-to-face with Severus. Severus' wand was to his chest, but the shock of familiarity temporarily gave Harry pause. To his surprise, Severus didn't take advantage. They stood in frozen standoff, Harry's panting suddenly harsh in the silence.

Staring into the face that had insulted him, tormented him, hated him, mocked him – hated his father, his godfather – let Sirius die! He wanted to curse Snape into oblivion. But Severus was only shades of the man he was to be.

"Put down your wand," he snarled. Severus didn't move. "Now!" The adrenaline still hummed through Harry's veins, but he was becoming shaky. He waited. Finally, with nerve-wracking care, Severus bent down and laid his wand on the floor.

Harry barely waited for him to straighten before turning on his heel. And shrewd eyes burned into his back.

* * *

"Flighty!" Once again, Sirius was the first one to notice him as he approached the DADA classroom. The four original Marauders were arranged around the doorway, obviously waiting for him. "It's about time you showed up."

James frowned emphatically, crossing his arms over his chest. "Where have you been? You totally missed lunch." He looked the boy over, noticing the sudden tiredness in his face and the ruffled state of his robes, and feeling his unease increase. Harry's absence had bothered him, especially after the scene with the Slytherins that morning. Slytherins weren't above malicious retribution over a prank. Besides him, Remus frowned as well, catching faint traces of blood and charred flesh in the air.

Harry was at a loss for what to say. It took far more energy and creativity to come up with a lie than he presently had, but telling them the truth would be – he couldn't. "I…"

"Are you okay?" Remus asked as he faltered, with the worried inflection to his voice that Harry knew well. He forced a smile.

"I'm fine."

There were dubious looks from Sirius, Remus, and James, but before they could interrogate further, Peter reminded them of the time.

"Don't want to be late," Harry mumbled as they walked into the classroom. As they sat down, James leaned over.

"Hey, where are your books?"

It was only then that Harry realized that he'd failed to collect his book from Rosier. Damn. His other books, of course, were in the common room, as he'd come straight to class from the fight.

But once again, Harry was saved as Ransdale brought the class to order before he had to stammer through an excuse. That didn't change the fact he was eyed with no little concern throughout class, the more alert Marauders picking up on every grimace, every stiff motion, and every pained inhalation when his ribs would practically spasm. Harry tried to ignore the surveillance and the sinking feeling he was soon to be ambushed again. Their suspicions were not helped by the fact that after half an hour went by, Ransdale asked one of the two Slytherin males in the class if there was any particular reason he was missing three Housemates. The boy, shorter than even Peter and sporting a set of oversized glasses, had merely glowered and snidely told him to ask the 'bloody' Gryffindors. He earned the removal of five House points for that little comment as well as confused, though laced with unease, looks from said Gryffindors.

As soon as class ended, Harry made for the door, at last grateful to not have any books with him. But sure enough, he was headed off – only by the last person he expected.

"What the hell did you do to them?" The fierce accusation was understandably offset by the fact Bemley Bartleby only came up to Harry's chest. However, the redhead's stature didn't seem to put a crimp in his boldness as he prodded Harry in the chest threateningly. Across the room, Slytherins Parntia Jevlin and Hortensia stiffened and watched the confrontation intently, while Lily, along with the other Gryffindor girls: Marna, Evelin Myrtlemin, and Kalista Lermal, looked on with frowns.

Harry blinked at the unexpected attack, but it was Sirius who responded, coming up behind him. "What are you talking about Beetle?" Bartleby was too much of a mouthful for just about anyone.

"All of you," he sneered, "acting so innocent. As if you didn't know where everyone is! You're the ones who put them in the Hospital Wing!"

Remus and James, having come up to ring Harry, exchanged glances. Harry winced.

Peter was confused and somewhat surprised. "The Hospital Wing? Why would they be there?"

"And why do you think we put them there?" asked Sirius thinly.

"They were going to ambush him," Bemley revealed, past caring over whether it was wise to do so, "and now they're all in the Hospital Wing! You bloody prats put them there and then have the audacity to just come into class like-" his fury overwhelmed him and he half-reached for his wand. Harry blanched.

"Is there a problem boys?" Ransdale's cool voice interjected, stopping the Slytherin's action as effectively as if he'd immobilized his arm.

"Bartleby here believes we got into a fight with his Housemates and caused them all to get into the Hospital Wing," Sirius said smoothly, his eyes more poised and steely than Harry had ever seen. "It is untrue of course, we all went to lunch."

James nodded, lending his support, and unconsciously moving forward to shield Harry from view. He glanced across the classroom, eyes briefly locking with those of his crush. Concerned, she returned the gaze evenly. "Lily and Marna can vouch for us."

"Among others," Remus added, Peter nodding hastily in agreement. Ransdale's eyes flicked to Lily and her friends, who gave variations of agreement.

"I do seem to remember spotting the group of you during lunch," Ransdale commented meditatively.

Bemley deflated only a little. "There's still him. He wasn't there," he said harshly, pointing at Harry. Ransdale's eyes sharpened, but Sirius scoffed.

"Yes, because one Gryffindor is enough to put three Slytherins in the Hospital Wing while still coming into class on time." Bemley hesitated, for the first time showing doubt.

"Four," he corrected grudgingly. Sirius blinked, caught off guard for a second, but recovered with a sneer.

"As flattered as I am by your ideas of Gryffindor ability-"

James picked up from him. "You're clearly mistaken." He said it in his firm, 'don't mess with me' voice and Bemley floundered. Eyes flicking from unsympathetic face to stony face, he finally huffed and stalked out of the classroom. Seeing the confrontation had run its course, Ransdale returned to his 

desk, though not without a speculative look at Harry. The Slytherin girls, along with Severus, also made a quick exit.

Sirius, not turning around, spoke in undertone. "Why didn't you say something?" Harry winced as Peter turned on him in disbelief.

"You don't mean-"

"Wormtail," James hissed, before turning to Harry himself. "Four Slytherins? I can't believe you're still standing," he muttered as Harry flushed darkly. Remus forwent verbal disbelief, instead muttering a diagnostic spell. A miniaturized version of Harry popped up and rotated as Remus waved his wand, featuring light up parts that provided captions when prodded.

"Hellion Hex?" he muttered to himself, locating something on Harry's ribcage. "I haven't seen that outside of books."

James rolled his eyes. "You can be a nerd later Moony. As for now, we gotta get him back to the dorm. We can't send him to the Hospital Wing." It was a plan that barely needed articulation and Remus nodded, dismissing the model with a jerk, at least for the moment.

Still surrounding Harry, they moved as a group out the door. Hurriedly Lily made her way over, trailing both Marna and the blond Kalista, only to be stopped short by Sirius.

"Is Harry okay?" she blurted out, but the Black traitor just dismissed her.

"We can take care of our own," he said curtly.

And once again, she was left in the dust, hating their secrets and damned intense fraternity.

* * *

"Damn Harry, they did a real number on you," James whistled. He and Remus were in the midst of treating the remnant spells and marks left by the fight (though Remus was doing most of the work while James basically supervised or handed over what was necessary for doing the actual patching up). Harry blushed.

"Yeah," he agreed weakly.

"He obviously gave better than he got, seeing as he sent the four who attacked him to the Hospital Wing." Sirius' words, still laced by the dark intensity he'd shown since the confrontation with Bartleby, made Harry stiffen and then hiss at the pain it invariably caused. His hand came up to his ribs.

"Lay off Padfoot," James shot at him, turning a critical eye on his best friend. Now was not the time for accusations or suspicions, though he knew Sirius was dying to get them out. At the moment the other boy was lounging against the door frame, gaze fixed with unrelenting force on the other side as it had been far too uncomfortable for Harry when it'd been fixed on him. His body was tense and James knew he'd need to let off some steam soon; hopefully he could convince him to come to the flying pitch with him as soon as he was done with Harry.

"Just out of curiosity," Remus cut in, "who was the forth? Obviously there was Rosier, Nott, and Pratt, but who else? Severus was in class…" he trailed off, Sirius having made a reach for his wand at the last name.

Harry bit his lip. He hadn't corrected their notions of the number of Slytherins in the ambush. Five would make the perception of him worse – as it was, Peter was still staring at him in shock from the next bed over, twitching every time he even glanced in his direction. But then again, did he really want to mention Regulus? Mentioning Severus would get a severe reaction, he already knew that, but he had no clue about Regulus. Would Sirius feel protective? Regulus sure hadn't seen very brotherly affectionate…

But in the end it was actually an easy choice to make. Obviously Severus wasn't making his involvement well known – not that he'd been that central in the actual fighting. And Regulus was in the Hospital Wing, with the most severe injuries.

He looked over at Sirius. "Regulus." Sirius stiffened dramatically. "It, it was Regulus."

Remus froze, while James immediately turned to Sirius. Peter's gaze flicked to him as well.

"Regulus," Sirius muttered. Harry couldn't bear the blankness in his voice. It reminded him of time, so far, yet so near – _despair_.

"You should be able to pick your family." The abrupt philosophical remark drew all eyes to Harry, who met Sirius' eyes squarely. He gave a bitter smile. "It sucks when they hate your guts." It was an olive branch that Sirius couldn't really grasp; an offer of solidarity that made him wonder how it could be offered. Why?

"Yeah," he agreed, the tension in his body receding for the moment.

"That's where we come in," James said firmly. He rested a hand firmly on Harry's shoulder, the unexpected touch making Harry swallow thickly. His family. His emerald eyes shuttered closed. "Friends closer than brothers." He glanced meaningfully at each Marauder.

Coward.

Werewolf.

Black.

And now Harry. Harry who still hid his secrets.

* * *

Okay, other than furnishing excuses of how from last chapter to this became one really, really, really, really long weekend, I wanted to address the lack of an action scene in this. Simply put, I suck at action sequences and given I have practically no retained knowledge of spell-casting wording, I simply skipped it. I have a post-fight shot that describes the people's conditions, but decided to cut it in favor of this:

Would anyone like to write the fight scene?

I'd pick the best one offered, and post it at the beginning of next chapter. It would just have to fit into this chapter: thus Harry first goes for Regulus, Severus is not very involved in the action and most be relatively uninjured, it needs to take over a decent amount of time, and it ends with Harry vs. Severus.

If I get no hits, I'll re-include my post-fight details into this chapter.

Also, I'm trying to include more Lily, just have some patience. Drat, it's hard because this really is kinda a guy buddy-buddy fic.


	16. Hotbeds and sickbeds

To my faithful reviewers who left messages during my long –cough- weekend –cough-, comments are at the **bottom**. Readers please read the first **few**, they're relatively important plot-wise.

For my reviewers from last chapter:  
Survey says – no change to lack of action scenes! Kinda surprised there, but got lots of empathy over the pain of writing action scenes and most said it was good as is. So that's the way it will be. (Sorry TeahLeafs, outvoted there.)  
No friend visits planned, at least at the moment – pandas rule the world (they do O.o drat, I really am behind in world news).

Now, without further ado:

* * *

Hold Me While I'm Here-

Chapter 16: Hotbeds and sickbeds

* * *

Harry's head had barely hit the pillow when Sirius called a Marauder meeting, skipping all protocol – he was only second-in-command by either Marauder or pack hierarchy. James winced, but dared not protest. Sirius had been unusually tight-lipped all evening, his fingers flexing and unflexing with warning regularity. He was ready to state his mind with all force necessary and James could only be glad he'd waited until Harry wasn't awake to hear him.

It didn't help that his own feelings had changed towards Harry. That look of utter betrayal in those amazing green eyes (the only ones he'd ever put on par with Lily's) still haunted him, perhaps even more so because of the association, and he was starting to think Sirius' paranoia was affecting his judgment. Especially after the sleeping potion incident, which he desperately hoped neither Harry nor Remus ever found out about. It was hard because he trusted Sirius above all others, but seeing Harry in such a battered state aroused more protective urges than suspicious. He was kicking himself for not going with the new Marauder, especially when his instincts had told him so. The blond was one of them now; he should never have been put in such a position in the first place. He gritted his teeth in pointless guilt, but gave Harry one last surveying look, the boy's face looking surprisingly younger without the lines of his normal consciousness, and smoothed the covers over him before getting up reluctantly for the meeting.

Unwillingly, they all filed into the bathroom. Once again, James claimed the toilet seat, while Remus seated himself on the bathtub rim with Peter situated in the corner between the tub and the wall. He was not inclined to be in Sirius' line of fire, one Sirius was sure to start on at any moment as he remained on his feet, beginning to pace the small strip of tile from the bathtub to the door.

Remus briefly considered a sound warding, but it was really unnecessary – after escorting Harry to dinner, they'd dosed him with enough general and specific potions to knock a full-grown stag out for the night. Luckily, they had all necessary items on hand as part of their post-full moon kit, which was stocked with bandages, potions, poultices, and painkillers in case they had a rough night with either Remus or something else in the woods. The Forbidden Forest was nothing to scoff at.

Sirius set up a steady tempo in the tiny space. "Breath Padfoot," James said idly, striving to start the meeting on a lighter note.

Black turned on his heel, eyes flashing. "Don't make jokes James," he snapped, stressing the name. "This is serious." Remus bit his lip at the very old and inappropriate joke that jumped to mind. Sirius, oblivious, raised an arm to the door, his voice rising as well. "He sent four Slytherins to the Hospital Wing!"

"They did ambush him," Remus pointed out meditatively. Sirius cast him a baleful eye.

"I'm not arguing his motivation," he bit out. "I'm arguing the fact he did it and came out practically unscathed!" James' mouth half-opened in disagreement, but Sirius whirled before he could voice it. "Making it to class in one piece counts."

"So he knows how to duel-" It was the beginning of an argument, but Sirius was in his face immediately.

"Four to one James!" His voice reached a crescendo and he raised a finger, Peter flinching even from his removed position. "And at least one was out for serious blood."

James was not easily intimidated. Not by the prospect of a werewolf roommate, illegal and unguided attempts to become Animagi, or the task of winning the good favor of a certain red-headed Gryffindor who heartily disliked him. No, James faced all challenges head-first, even when they involved confronting his volatile best friend. Hazel eyes sharpened behind wire-rimmed glasses. "We don't know how well Nott and Pratt can duel," he returned deliberately.

"They're still Slytherins." (That was a valid point. Slytherins were famous for staging inter-House duels, most likely because with so much pride and dark magic leanings, they were liable to take a chunk of someone's hide for a simple slight, even if it was in their own House.) "Besides Rosier and Regulus would be enough to make up for them period. My brother's no slouch in the hex department." Sirius' hand clenched as he mentioned it, the only sign that he spoke from personal experience. Remus, from the sidelines, could practically see him visualizing the Hellion Hex, the mottled splotch nestled right over Harry's rib cage and all it protected, that only hinted at the internal damage it had wrought.

Sirius whirled around again, stalking the tiny stretch of tile in the bathroom and silence fell. Watching him pace again, there was something in the set of Sirius' jaw that James didn't like. He came to a halt, face to the door. "You know what this means James."

James' jaw solidified and he crossed his arms, leaning backward. "No I don't."

"He has to be involved in dark magic." Peter squeaked, but Remus intervened before James could retort.

"He goes to a Muggle-born school; it's completely possible he had to learn extensive self-defense."

James went with it, trying to swallow his anger at the serious accusation. "A school like that is bound to gather negative attention, especially nowadays. It would explain the scar too," he added.

Sirius glowered, far from convinced. "Maybe that'd teach him to disarm or simply defend himself," he allowed. "But no one's been released from the Hospital Wing yet. He had to have done real damage. Probably why he didn't want to tell us about it." His eyes gleamed as he picked up steam again. "I've known something was off about him from the beginning. I've been warning you-"

"That he's McGonagall's spy?" Remus couldn't help throwing in dryly. Sirius gave him a dirty look.

"That something was wrong with him. I can feel it," his hand unconsciously came up to his chest before fisting. "He's in it deep."

"Then why fight with the Slytherins?" James' voice was straining to stay even. "Why not just hand over his wand and make a deal with the other dark magic lovers?" He gestured emphatically, losing the battle.

"Doesn't work that way. You prove you can push around those at the top. You don't make deals with those weaker than you." Sirius' dark intensity was back in force, hatred and disgust and that damned knowing all mixing potently. Something almost sinister crackled in the air about Sirius and Remus felt his hackles rise. Eyes uncharacteristically cold and hard, Sirius' gaze slide past him however, to settle on Peter, who characteristically cringed at the special attention. The standing boy's teeth bared, in the mockery of a smile. "You make the deals, enforcing them in blood, and then you turn on them when they least-"

"Stop scaring Peter Sirius." James ordered in a sharp voice, rising to his feet as he unconsciously gathered authority around him. "And if you're talking to me, do it to my face." Sirius took his eyes off the rat to re-focus on his best friend. They stood in mute contrast, both faces set unyielding and hard. Unbidden, Remus got up and tugged Peter up as well.

"I think it's time we let them hash this out." There were some things that the two best friends just had to work out between themselves and he knew enough to get himself and Peter out of the line of fire. As much as he wanted to back up James, he was just in the way and Peter was an unnecessary distraction. It wasn't like the rat had been likely to talk in the first place anyway.

Sirius barely waited for the door to click shut after them. "He's dangerous James," he stated bluntly.

"And I'm saying he's not." James' hazel eyes flashed. Trust was not necessarily laid out lightly by him, but once it was, he stuck with it, in the face of all opposition. "At least not to us." It was a bare concession.

"You're being naïve."

"That's what people say to me about you." It was a low blow, but Sirius took it with minimal fuss, jaw clenching but allowing the validity.

There was silence. And then, finally – "He's keeping something big from us, you know he is." James couldn't dispute the unwavering knowledge in Sirius' eyes. As eternally elusive as Harry was, there was something there. They all knew it.

"He'll tell us when he's ready."

Sirius sneered. "Don't you mean when it comes to bite us in the arse?" And again, he paced the floor. James, for the merest moment, contemplated the idiocy of the motion. There was barely enough space for three paces – you barely got anywhere before having to turn back and then back again. But of course, there was another reason for the idiocy as well. Sirius had just turned back to James when something practically splattered on his chest. Reflexively he took hold of it before it fell to the floor. It took him little enough time to register what it was.

"What's this for?"

James rolled his eyes, consciously letting the tension bleed out of him. "Don't be an idiot Padfoot. You know exactly what you need-"

"He attacked Harry." The bland statement came out of nowhere. James blinked at the mood swing, but Sirius just kept staring at the Invisibility Cloak he clutched. It was then, belatedly, that it struck James that Sirius might be dealing with more than 'simple' distrust. "If I'd been with him-"

Regulus would've attacked him as well, might've even agreed to the ambush in the first place just for the possibility. His own brother. Oh there was guilt. Responsibility.

"_You should be able to pick your family."_  
"_It sucks when they hate your guts."_

How did Harry know?

He wasn't sure he wanted that answer. His hands fisted in the cloak, before releasing.

Impulsively James moved to grip Sirius' shoulder. "It doesn't change anything." Catching the cloak as it slipped through Sirius' fingers, he pushed it back into Sirius' hands.

"He's Slytherin." Bitterness. "And I'm not."

James locked his hand over Sirius', the cloak in both's grasp. "Exactly," he said quietly.

* * *

The Infirmary was dark and silent in the late night. Sirius slipped off the cloak with the barest of whispered ruffling, sticking it under his school robe more out of habit than conscious thought.

His little brother was stretched out with little obvious damage, though significant white wrap bandages over parts of his chest, arms, and left cheek belied the normalcy of his appearance. His blood was a faint scent in the air, something a quirk of Padfoot helped Sirius detect, but obviously not a recent one. Sirius let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

Once upon a time, Regulus had idolized him. He was bigger, stronger, wilier, and willing to play with him even when their parents frowned on such childish shenanigans. But then he'd come to Hogwarts and been declared Gryffindor. He knew what his parents' reaction would be, had almost banked on it – rebel that he was, but he hadn't been prepared for his younger brother's reaction. Regulus had dreamed, even then, of being in Slytherin with his big brother, he'd known that. He'd never felt completely comfortable with the attitudes that surrounded him, but Regulus had eaten it all up. "Toujours pur." Sirius couldn't stop his lip from curling. Their bloody glorious heritage. And Regulus was crushed on hearing the news of his Sorting. Finding out he was actually glad to not be in Slytherin had been a betrayal in the other's eyes. Regulus had refused to respond to his letters or talk to him when he came home. Being declared Slytherin himself had been the final nail in the coffin, one Sirius had long since resigned himself to being unable to escape. It didn't make him regret it less, when he wasn't busy being pissed off by his brother's unbelievable git-ness.

Lost in thought, minutes, few as they were, seemed like eternity, until –

"Mr. Black." He whirled in surprise to see Madam Pomphrey frowning at him, her hands on hips in a gesture that was well known to him. Cursing internally at the fact she'd caught him unaware, he tried for a winning smile, but it barely lifted the edges of his mouth. He was too tired to put forth the effort. The frown softened. "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised to see you, though I was more expecting you over the weekend."

Since finding out Remus' secret, the other Marauders had often snuck into the Hospital Wing to spend his bed rest post-transformation with him, despite all of Pomphrey's attempts to keep them away. It had become somewhat more uncommon since they had learned to transform on their own, keeping him company during the full moon instead and making him less violent then, thus less recovery time. Still, if Remus was being held in the Infirmary, they'd still come and Madam Pomphrey had long come to accept their presence. Besides, it wasn't often you did come across such loyal friends.

Pomphrey bustled forward industriously, smoothing the light sheet over Regulus and pulling out her wand, assumedly to check his status. "I suppose it's impossible to keep you and your friends out of here," she muttered as she looked Regulus over. "Just don't bother-"

"How is he?" the question was quiet, but direct.

She paused. "He was the hardest hit," she finally replied. "But I've managed to remove all the growths and the other injuries are under control. There's just," she paused again, hand on Regulus' forehead. "His consciousness comes in and out."

"In and out?" Sirius' brow wrinkled.

"Yes. When he's awake, he seems confused. It almost seems a variation of a confounding curse, but he's intelligible and he does seem to know what is going on. What he actually says though has to be deciphered. But I'll be trying some other potions tomorrow. It should be cleared up in a day or two," she offered and Sirius nodded distractedly, eyes fixed once again on his younger brother. She smoothed the sheet one last time. "I don't want to see you on my next round, am I understood?" Her tone was brusque once again. Sirius took the question as the invitation it was and nodded again. As she moved past him, he murmured thanks.

And he was left alone with Regulus again.

He took a step to the bed, tentatively touching the bed post. "Wha'd you get into this time, bro?"

Finally, with a sigh, he moved forward, tugging up a chair to be able to hunch over at Regulus' side. Regret, sadness, resignation, guilt – they swirled in a potent mixture, one he was more than familiar with. Again time passed, staring morosely at the bound side of his brother – brother of blood, if not heart. And then he caught the fluttering of the edges of Regulus' eyes. He stood.

"Regulus?" Dark eyes tentatively opened, the long lashes he'd gotten from their mother's side parting to reveal unfocused orbs. Sirius swallowed and grasped his arm lightly. "Regulus, can you hear me?"

"Sir-ius," he breathed, stressing the first syllable as Sirius' family was prone to, most likely because it was usually said in disapproval, anger, or exasperation. His eyes slid shut again, before re-opening. Sirius couldn't help the chills that attacked the top of his spine at the almost opaque quality. It was probably a trick of the light, but heightened by the fact Regulus was looking practically through him rather than at him. He half-extended a hand to brush the bangs from Regulus' face, but felt too self-conscious to actually do it.

"Regulus." He hadn't been prepared for this moment. He hadn't exchanged a civil word with his brother in months. "How are you feeling?" It was an awkward attempt at conversation and he winced when it left his mouth. The need to apologize rose in his throat, but he kept it locked there, unable to sort out just what he wanted to apologize. Or even what exactly he could.

"Like the fire." Sirius blinked, before remembering Pomphrey's words. Riddles, huh? He couldn't help the small smirk that emerged after a moment's consideration. Like hell. But Regulus was already moving on. "Damn," he cursed weakly. "When'd you get a guard dog?" The smirk faded as Sirius' spine instead began to prickle with paranoia.

"Guard dog?" Regulus' eyes flickered, but as if feeling his brother's intensity, continued.

"Snapped at me, pup with big teeth," his voice started to peter out. "Jumped first just 'cuz wished you mon-grel," his voice hitched on the last word, then a sudden half-bitter flash of teeth, "no ped-igree." His eyes fluttered shut again, but Sirius was past noticing, past awareness of anything outside his own head.

Two things were clear (clear – yet how the hell could they be clear?), two things that now waged war in his mind.

Harry had attacked first.

Harry had attacked because Regulus had insulted _him_, maybe even threatened in even harsher terms.

Harry had attacked his brother for him.

And again the voice echoed in his head, wistful, regretful, bitter…

"_You should be able to pick your family."_  
"_It sucks when they hate your guts."_

He swallowed thickly, unable to get beyond the revelation.

What the hell was going on?

* * *

Ooh, Sirius is confused and now Harry has to face the fall-out from the fight… (Note on Regulus, everyone has noticed R.A.B. – Regulus A-something Black, right?)

Current survey of animagus opinion:  
too-much-inspiration – group sentiment goes towards bird, and the hippogriff is too magical – McGonagall's a plain cat, then rat, dog, stag.  
Cherri202 - no griffin, same reason as hippogriff and hey a bird is helpful – and eye in the sky that could help prevent those close calls Remus mentioned.  
ggmaxwell – ah falcon was a pet of Merlin, nice tie-in.  
And two votes for peregrine falcon: mokipuppy and me-obviously (siarah) – I have to admit, I'm leaning in this direction.

My other reviewers (readers please read first few – important plot wise, comments become more personal as go down):

Von – I know Harry's prank was tame, but he's really not a master prankster. Besides, from his p.o.v. he should be oblivious to the drugging – he figured it out because he was aware of why Sirius would do it.

razzle-dazzle-me – I totally forgot about the Slug club! But who should be in it? Sirius, Remus, and James are all kinda exceptional in their own ways, but none of them were mentioned to be in it… Hmm, Harry, if invited without using skills provided by HBP handbook, would join probably only if someone else was in it (Lily for example). Any ideas, people?

kasmo – you are completely right about how I'm not about to single out and torture Snape. Harry just can't stomach that considering the experiences he's gone through. Even if the end of HBP Snape was left in a very bad villain position; that kinda happened in every book with it being resolved in the end – though it may not resolve so this time. And the sixth book is practically a partner to the second.

Kates Master – the future people would remember blond Harry as an old friend who disappeared (presumably died); he'd be completely different in their minds from the young Harry Potter they meet (and those who knew him best Marauders are mostly not around to notice similarities – except for the rat).

CSI Fan Girl 2 – more recommendations: **Turn Back Time by Sstar Luna**

Goku Koneko Sage - um, Harry has no real clue how to get his parents together – he's pretty much just met them, but yes there will be some matchmaking –evil cackle-.


	17. A touch of normalcy

This chapter is a little short, more of an interlude, but major Lily involvement!

**Tag: If anyone has prank ideas or knows good prank fics, I will mention them as past events, so go ahead and refer them please!!**

Oh and does anyone know where AriaStar's _Turning Time Around _has gone? I was glancing through my past recommendations, but couldn't find it anywhere!

-Thanks I-want-to-fly, jentrollgirl, AquaRias, kasmo, MySite, Nicolet, Salena Snape, The Sleeping Creature, me-obviously, melfster, Serpent91, Lady Halaia, beauty0102, Seadrance, Delta T, brightsidetolife, poke-me-im-strange, Twin Tails Speed, Von, Fk306 animelover, Lady Potter of Tortall, bookworm622, Bookworm622, purrbaby101, xzotic, Celebwen Telcontar (thanks for the falcon info!), Kates Master, i'm a misfit, dellacouer, Della, ashez2ashes, spotzplaya888, Moonlit Dreaming, and Svana.

Shout-outs:

Killshea Kavani/Candelabra - "patronus's are the same as the animagus." Don't know about that - besides everyone swears Harry's is Prongs and Tonks' was Remus so...

Shiruba Fokkusu - I just love Sirius, that's why he's being so fleshed out. Actually, this fic was my own way of recooping from his death in OotP. So expect even more!

Irian - Harry is NOT going to become a thestral. -shiver- That's terrifyingly depressing, even if quite sadly appropriate.

Oh and thanks ashez2ashes for the suggestion with Slughorne!!

* * *

Hold Me While I'm Here-

Chapter 17: A touch of normalcy

* * *

Normal, Hermione had once declared, was subjective.

Harry supposed he had to agree – Hermione was not one easily disagreed with. But he'd seen proof as well. There was certainly a very distinct difference between Dursley normal and Weasley normal.

Dursley normal a.k.a. Muggle normal being, according to his aunt and uncle: phones, computers, cars, spying on the neighbors through a hole in the hedge, football (really football, all Americans out there!), pounds.

Normal NOT being: owls carrying messages, people moving in photographs, cloak wearing, dishes washing themselves, Floo powder, de-gnoming, a radio broadcasting a singing sorceress, Quidditch.

Which of course, was all normal for the Weasley household and the rest of the wizard world. Though, Harry had to admit, the ceiling shaking thanks to a new explosion in a certain room of the house would likely not really be considered normal in any house but the Weasleys. The twins were their very own brand of abnormality.

By either standard, his life was far from normal.

Normal NOT meaning: godfather breaking out of Azkaban, pet rat turning out to be parents' betrayers, visions, speaking to snakes, getting picked for TriWizard Tournament, being used to resurrect evil wizard, taking on a basilisk, breaking into the Department of Magic.

He had to wonder if it, by any stretch, could ever be considered normal. Each year was its own whirlwind of secrets and strange ordeals and mind games, with the players in nearly constant flux. It wasn't really fun, but it was always eventful.

If there were basic 'normal' characteristics of his life however, it was these: suspicious looks, whispers, nervous scattering when he approached. This was normal for him as either the 'criminally insane' cousin of Dudley or the unpredictable 'Boy Who Lived'. So why was he so damn surprised that it had come to order his visit to the past?

So much for a year without it.

* * *

Brooding, he tried to ignore the looks he received as dinner dragged on.

News had spread fast through Hogwarts, just like it always did. Despite the shut down Bemley had received the previous day in Defense, there was still the fact four Slytherins were in the Hospital Wing and there was no known reason. The only thing that was well known, thanks to Bemley's outburst, was that Rosier, Pratt, Nott, and Regulus had gone to ambush him. And consequently, just about everybody now seemed to recall his absence from lunch.

He should have known the risk he was running, giving up his privileged position of being ignored (privileged for him) to get in with the Marauders. They were magnets for trouble in the first place. Add that his own insane magnetism and he was doomed.

But he hadn't considered it. Not when the sheer appeal of being with them was so overwhelming.

It was his father. His godfather. His professor and friend.

The rat was barely a blip compared to that.

Was it worth it?

He watched James, seated next to him, give a pointed look at a fourth year who was practically staring at him. Sirius, on the other side of the table, noticed the interchange and glowered with evident distemper. The other black-haired boy immediately turned red and hastily turned to stuffing himself. Remus bumped shoulders.

"Everything okay?"

Harry gave a weak smile.

"Yeah." It was.

* * *

Lily was a woman on a mission.

At the culmination of every prank since the beginning of last year, she had taken it upon herself to reprove the Marauders for their rule-breaking and disruptive actions. It didn't matter if the prank was funny, it was still ridiculously childish. (Though, to be perfectly honest, she had laughed for a week the time they'd managed to spell all the teachers to only be able to sing all lectures, in genres that could switch at any time. It had actually made Binns' class bearable, a feat to be sure.)

Now, though relieved of Prefect duties, she couldn't seem to break the habit. Well until now, though that wasn't of her own volition. Though Harry seemed to be behind the prank this time, he was still Marauder, something she still couldn't believe she'd even slightly encouraged. (She'd hoped the Marauders wouldn't corrupt him, but then again, they'd managed to corrupt Remus…) He was still accountable. Except he'd managed to evade her after both Transfiguration and Potions and then had disappeared at lunch.

This was frustrating. At least, until she'd witnessed the confrontation in Defense. Four Slytherins? Frustration quickly morphed into concern, but Sirius was worse than a guard dog. James, she knew, wouldn't really object to her presence and neither would Remus or Peter (though the latter simply because she intimidated him too much), but Sirius had growled at practically anyone who came within spell casting range.

And concern was quickly morphing back into frustration when Harry didn't show up for either breakfast, History of Magic, or lunch. Well, no, really that heightened her concern, but now she was determined, especially when yet again, they managed to slip away after Herbology where Harry had finally appeared.

She was going to speak to Harry and no glowering Sirius Orion Black was going to stop her.

Of course, it couldn't help to bring reinforcements.

Marna was perfect for the job. Though lacking in stature (she only came up to Lily's shoulder), she made up for in attitude, especially when around Sirius was around. The two had a lively repartee, a curious mix of sharp teasing and dramatic flirtation. They'd actually gone out a few times, though it was common knowledge that Sirius had done so at least partly just to spite his parents, as Marna was also Muggle-born. Sirius had shrugged at the pointed statement. As he put it, she was "a decent chit with a nice set of knockers and a nice set of balls."

Lily got along well enough with Kalista and Evelin, but having someone who understood the cracks about Muggle pop culture or even understood how to send mail outside of just writing a name and attaching it to an owl, was priceless.

So it was the brunette that braved the brunt of Sirius' scowl, while Lily carefully skirted him to approach the main objective.

"Harry!" Harry nearly jumped out of his skin as the abrupt declaration, Peter and Remus starting like they'd just been electrocuted as well. James' reaction was less severe, his Lily radar working just fine even under distraction. But Harry just blinked quickly.

"Ah-"

Lily cleared her throat, realizing just how confrontational she'd sounded. "We didn't see you this morning," she tried again, gentling her tone. "We were all concerned." Marna nodded behind her. "Are you okay?"

Considering no one else except Hasselgrove had approached him ("Good thing we're got another few weeks 'til the next match!"), her concern warmed him. He gave the strongest smile he had all day. "Yeah, I'm okay." Besides, she was his mother. Knowing she cared at all was indescribable.

But he couldn't help wince at the mention of his absence. Due to all the potions they'd given him, he'd been out cold until lunch-time and even then had taken prodding to get out of bed and get to Herbology. He couldn't tell if this non-appearance had helped or worsened school opinion. It made him look like he'd gotten hurt. On the one hand, that made him seem involved. On the other, it made him look involved and human, not invincible.

Unfortunately, something similar to Harry's train of thought was going through Marna's head and she leaned forward. "Really?" she asked genuinely curious. "Because four Slytherins have gotta leave a mark."

Harry became deer-in-headlights, a look he seemed to be perfecting in the last day. "Uh-" he fumbled. Lily was equally surprised by Marna's boldness – but curious herself. Marna leaned in farther.

"Yah did take them on, right?" It wasn't that much of a question. Unfortunately, since she was focusing on Harry, she failed to see the fact Sirius' face had grown noticeably darker and looking distinctly ready to hurl a lightning bolt. James, however, did not fail to see this and quickly jumped in.

"Yeah, he did," Remus blinked at the admittance, Harry also starting at the lack of evasion. But it wasn't like Marna and Lily would pass on the information indiscreetly and lying to them would be idiotic. "It was dumb and stupid, not to mention reckless, but they did ambush him." Harry looked down at the tacked on last statement, unaware Sirius' eyes were fixed on him. They hadn't really asked for details on the fight – rather a good thing considering Harry was a little shaky on them as well, but he wasn't quite sure why. Did they really not want to consider his skill level? Or was reliving a fight that involved Sirius' brother too sensitive an issue?

Lily saw how uncomfortable Harry was and felt a pang of pity. She didn't really know what had happened – and she would like to, but Harry was a sweet boy, if a bit shy. So, she sidetracked the conversation the easiest way she knew how: "Dumb, stupid?" she repeated to Potter. "Like you wouldn't have done the same thing in his situation Potter," she scoffed.

James blinked, a little disappointed at the last name formality. "Well yeah, but I would've at least had Sirius with me. I'm rash," he conceded. "not reckless. But when your back is against the wall, you have to fight no matter the odds."

It was surprisingly good retort, especially when he met her eyes with an earnestness that was unsettling. "Looks like you haven't suffered any permanent damage from the birds," she fell back to edged humor, but mentally had to admit a pompous Potter was a much easier target.

"That's because he's always bird-brained around you." It was a typical Sirius comment, though lacking its normal liveliness, instead replaced by an undercurrent of acidity.

James ignored the undercurrent, just glad to have gotten some rise from his unusually close-lipped best friend, even if it resulted in his embarrassment. "Padfoot!"

Marna smirked, easily slipping into habit. "And what's your excuse?"

But Sirius missed his cue. His eyes were fixed on some point on the Hall wall just above Harry's right shoulder and his face was broadcasting turbulence. Remus gave James an uneasy look, but the other could only give one with equal uneasiness. Something had happened last night when Sirius had gone to visit his brother, but he hadn't shared a word of what had gone on, mostly because he was busy brooding. James didn't like it. A Sirius left alone with depressing or disturbing thoughts too long 

tended to act badly. If only he could get him to spill – but so far, any potential moments had been thwarted by interruptions or Sirius' unusual reluctance to talk. Whatever had happened was big and Sirius was clearly didn't know what to think of it.

Across the table, Marna's smirk quickly changed to a frown. "Man, what bug's up your butt?" she commented airily. "Not your bro being-" Sirius slammed the Hall table hard enough getting up that an antisocial second year nearly had his cup upset at the very end of the table.

"Shut UP Wimblee," he gritted out. There was a shocked pause and then without another word, he stalked off. James was out of his seat a second later.

"If you'd excuse us," he muttered, giving Remus a telling look, specifically 'look after Harry'. The werewolf nodded and James was away.

The conversation lulled. Marna stared after the departing duo, more troubled than surprised. She winced. "Guess I shouldn't have brought it up."

Lily turned back to Harry. "So you're all right Harry?" When all else failed, return to the actual issue at hand. The blond blinked, mind decidedly still with his father and godfather. He nodded belatedly. "That's good." It was a poor attempt at casualness. Lily wished she could break the sudden gloom, but reaming Harry out for the prank now seemed completely out of place.

Thankfully, someone was able to put an end to the awkwardness.

"Mr. Patterson."

Unfortunately, it was Professor McGonagall. Both Harry and Remus rose reflexively.

"The Headmaster would like to speak to you." Harry paled, but Remus squeezed his arm reassuringly. "If you would come with me," she prompted, when he didn't move.

"Guess we'll see you in a bit," Remus murmured. Harry gave him a troubled look but nodded.

"Right." Licking his lips nervously, he trailed after her.

And four Gryffindors watched him go with special concern.


	18. Proper procedures

Thank y'all for the reviews!

-Alexis8907, Fate, xcloudx, sukanya (not girlish writing? I guess that's a compliment...), RandomRecorders, meni tears, Cherri202 (love your idea with the feathers that won't lay flat!!), Blossom1098, skc0724 (um actually not an H/Ger, but also friends would make the situation too tenuous, so I'm thinking a no), Benny Nenney, Clovergirl22, rasberitwist, Kookies 'n Kreem, melibelly, Latisha C, SatensRaven, acerbus-chan (thanks, glad you remembered!), Lazy-Hime (no phoneix as animagus - too mythical), Dragon Rider22, kasmo, Padfoot2446, I-want-to-fly, Dragon Smuggler, imakeeper (so many reviews!), brightsidetolife, crazypinkdiamond, Moonlit Dreaming, MySite, -xka, beauty0102, TeahLeafs (I love your reviews! And good luck with the APs, I know how they can be...), winter's flower, Seadrance, Fk306 animelover, Kates Master, Lady Potter of Tortall, Shiruba Fokkusu, XxX-PhoenixGirl-XxX, dellacouer, and Serpent91.

As a sidenote, I'm surprised by how many people were confused by Dumbledore wanting to see Harry. He did just get in a fight with Slytherins now in the Hospital Wing…

Um so, I have to admit not terribly thrilled with this chapter, I'm kinda itching to get to funnier scenes and get time to finally pass. But this chapter was necessary, so here it is… (And for those wanting more, it is on the way)

Sorry for the slight delay, my classes just wrapped up and finals are beginning, so I've been distracted. Add to that a little lack of motivation to write and voila.

* * *

Hold Me While I'm Here-

Chapter 18: Proper Procedures

_

* * *

_

When your education x-ray  
Can not see under my skin  
I won't tell you a d- thing  
That I could not tell my friends

* * *

Sirius had a number of tension release routines.

One was a good scrap, usually with whoever had severely pissed him off, even if it was James himself.

One was a slightly less physical straight-out screaming match to give vent to how exactly he thought whatever had happened could be connected with as many profanities as he could up with.

One was sneaking out to Hogsmeade and charming a pretty barmaid into giving them enough alcohol to get good and truly sloshed. (Well, actually it was more usually one of them distracting the barmaid, while the other pilfered the needed supplies from behind the bar, of course leaving enough galleons to cover.)

There were more of course, including particularly vicious pranks – which James had considered curtailing even before the Snape fiasco.

At the moment, James was trying to guess which of these Sirius was leaning towards. Classes were over for the day and it was just the two of them, so the selection was wide open. He was still pondering when they reached the dormitory, Sirius not having spoken a word – not that it was needed at the moment. The quality of the silence and extreme stiffness of his body were eloquent enough.

James hung in the doorway, letting Sirius retrieve whatever necessary items and then received a broom practically to his face. He caught it reflexively, blinking beyond it to witness Sirius retrieve a club from his trunk and strap it to his wrist.

Ah, the flying pitch it was.

Of all of Sirius' de-stressing methods, beating the hell out of a Bludger was really the most productive. Not only was it Quidditch practice, but relational fall-out was nil. All James had to do was wait until Sirius had worked out enough aggression to finally feel up to talking.

James bit back a sigh as Sirius brushed past him to basically march to the flying pitch.

Patience; he seemed to be needing a lot of it lately.

* * *

"Ah Mr. Patterson."

He'd gotten used to being referred to as Patterson, though there had been plenty of close calls at the beginning of the month. James had his name called in more ways and for more reasons than even Harry. However, it was beyond eerie to be called so by Dumbledore and that just made the situation worse.

Getting called or dragged to Dumbledore's office was not new to Harry. In fact, he was reasonably sure he'd been in it more times than just about any other average Hogwarts student. What he wouldn't give to be the average Hogwarts student. But not even the past seemed able to provide that option.

"If you would please sit –" Dumbledore, sitting as usual behind his monolithic desk, motioned to a big oversized plush chair. Harry sunk into it, feeling the unnatural urge to sit up straight. McGonagall quickly made her way to Dumbledore's left, mirroring the position of Slughorne on his other side, who was looking at Harry with an intent that made him uneasy.

The room hadn't changed much from this time to his own. It was still cluttered with many objects he couldn't identify, among those he could: the Sorting Hat, Fawkes' stand, Dumbledore's pensieve… He deliberately avoided eying the portraits lining the walls. He didn't want to face yet another Black family member anytime soon.

"I assume you know why you've been called down here." Dumbledore's hands stepled as he peered seriously over his half moon glasses. Harry nodded.

"Now the normal procedure in a case such as this, Mr. Patterson, would be for both sides to discuss what happened." Harry felt his insides flush cold. He wasn't ready to face Regulus, let alone him with the rest. "But Madame Pomphrey has been very protective in this case and not released the Slytherins as of yet. And due to the severity of this situation, I felt it should be addressed promptly." Harry flushed, the heat seeming to try to compensate for his inner cold, trying to ignore Slughorne's blatant curiosity and McGonagall's pointed observation.

"Perhaps we should start with their side then." Harry had a feeling that was slightly out of order, but didn't, couldn't protest. "Now Mr. Rosier, Mr. Nott, and Mr. Black" he couldn't help a slight flinch at the last name "have not seen it necessary to explain how they came to be in the Hospital Wing." Harry could imagine how that happened. Both Rosier and Regulus would be too proud to admit he'd taken them on and won. And Rosier would most definitely use his position as top dog to keep Nott silent. But – "Ms. Pratt, however, found it pertinent to insist that you had attacked her and the others. This would seem rather," Dumbledore gave a slight pause that emphasized the ridiculousness even more "unlikely, considering the odds. However, Professor Ransdale has brought it to my attention that Mr. Bartleby was under the impression that the others went to ambush you and blamed the rest of your 

dormmates for the damage. Am I correct that they denied the charge?" Dumbledore peered intently at him and the offered excuse was right there. A way out that was impossible. It was meaningless anyway, not if it wouldn't serve as an excuse, a sound reasoning, explanation he could give to the Marauders.

"Yes," he admitted. Well in for a penny, in for a pound. "They were at lunch."

"But you were not?"

* * *

"What?!"

James was forced to duck as the Bludger dove at him after a particularly vicious hit from Sirius.

"What?!" he repeated, hitting it back with all the strength of bewilderment.

"Harry attacked Regulus." Sirius was still stiff and tense, despite landing yet another violent punt to the Bludger. He still hadn't looked at James. To be honest, James hadn't seen Sirius this wound up since Helen Vitrus, a Ravenclaw crush, had gone on a date with Rosier.

The claim was still incomprehensible though.

"Are-are you sure?"

Sirius finally turned his way, casting him a furious look, but belied his own certainty by running his hand through his hair. "I don't know! Except it-" He cut off, a pause James immediately jumped on.

"It what?" he demanded. "Makes sense? How the hell does it make sense?"

* * *

"So they did ambush you."

"Did you cast the first spell?" It was Slughorne who finally asked the question, eyes sharp and intense. Harry firmed his chin. It was time to face the music.

"Yes," he stated clearly.

"Why?"

Ah, the question.

* * *

"He insulted me."

James was beyond confused and he landed. "Look, Padfoot, you have completely lost me."

Above him, Sirius banked his broom, giving a spiraling hit to the airborne ball. "Harry attacked because Regulus insulted me – and/or threatened me."

"But – " James tried to process that, he really did. But it just left the question so much more demanding. Why?

* * *

The silence was deafening.

Surprisingly, it was McGonagall who broke it. "I'm sure you were provoked," she said briskly, making Harry blink, "and considering your scholastic background, I'm sure you must have been prepared to deal with these matters."

It was an odd moment to appreciate Sirius, but at least the boy didn't beat around the bush. Still he had to be glad for the offered assumption, that the whole incident was based on anti-Muggle sentiment. It was an obvious and neat explanation, especially given the time period, and he kicked himself for not thinking of it sooner. However, he wasn't oblivious to Dumbledore's pointed gaze, the one he could easily recognize as Dumbledore's 'do you have something private to tell me?' expression. Unfortunate that a private conference was not what he wanted. Besides, Dumbledore had been pretty adamant of not knowing the future. Explaining what had happened to Sirius was practically explaining the entire future, as hellish as it could, would be.

McGonagall was still talking. "But it is still no excuse for the" she cleared her throat "extremity of your reaction." She paused, giving room for him to once again explain.

He had to offer something. As close to the truth as he dared would be the most convincing. Hopefully it would satisfy them. Determined to keep composure, he looked past them to fix on a spot on the wall.

"I lost family recently" his throat threatened to close and he cleared it purposely, "and it's been very hard." Hard? His hand unconsciously flexed. Hard didn't come close to describing it. "I lost him for specific reasons…" His jaw cemented as he could only think a slew of curses connected with one word, well two: ambushes and Voldemort. It didn't matter though. It was as far as he'd been planning to explain anyway.

It was vague, but he only closed his eyes. Let them come up with their own translation.

* * *

"That still doesn't make sense Sirius."

And just like that, Sirius' temper broke. "I know that!" he shouted. And again, the Bludger felt the brunt of Sirius' muddle of confusion, frustration, and anger, catapulting straight up. "Bloody hell, I know it doesn't! Maybe it would if it was you, but this is Harry! He barely knows me!" And yet, and yet. Sirius' thoughts were in turmoil. "I don't know what he expects from me!" There was an edge of desperation and he finally landed, grabbing the Bludger with a controlled lunge when it finally sped toward him. Throwing it in the box, he let James secure the hatches while he turned to pace. "Sometimes, he looks at me –" It was hard to verbalize and he whirled, frustrated with what he could not say.

But James knew.

He knew because Harry looked at him too, with sentiments he couldn't quite decipher. There was some kind of marvel, wonder. As if he couldn't believe James was there. Amusement. Kinship. Surprise. Discomfort. Disappointment. Disgust. Yet something unfathomable – longing. But James couldn't tell what he was longing for: acceptance, approval, affection – Harry hadn't shown any attraction to him. He would be so distant, and then look at him with those gleaming green eyes and James would glimpse a world he wasn't a part of, so separate from his own, like Harry wasn't a part of his…

It was even more complex when it came to Sirius. The emotions were stronger there. The betrayal ran deeper, the desperation, the longing even more elemental. The disappointment… It was as if Harry had expectations of Sirius, expectations that the boy didn't understand and transgressed without knowledge. And yet Harry had still defended him. Defended him despite Sirius' personal attacks to him.

Sirius stopped pacing and dropped his head in his hands. "Damn it! What does he want from me?" It came out more broken than angry.

James had no answer.

Finally, bleakly, Sirius raised harried eyes. "He had to have seriously lost control to -" he stopped, the implications clear.

"And we don't know the hell why." James finished, with the same bleakness.

* * *

Harry walked out of the office numbly, glad Dumbledore hadn't insisted on a personal chat. They hadn't pushed for too many details, thankfully, understanding it a sore issue he did not want to discuss. He was still scolded for excessive use of force and sentenced to detention as well as House points taken away. The Slytherins were having a similar penalty however, which Harry was equally grateful for. His anger at them hung bitterly in the back of his throat, only abated by his guilt.

He had a bad feeling this wasn't all over.

It didn't help that the interested gleam in Slughorne's eyes had only brightened, even as he left Harry alone.

* * *

"So how did it go?" Harry looked up upon his entrance into the dormitory, seeing the full gang laid out. Remus, who'd asked the question, was posed at the edge of his bed, a book splayed open. Sirius and James were both seated on Sirius' bed, facing each other while leaning against opposite bedposts. Sirius was sprawled; James was cross-legged and holding a squirming Snitch that he'd obviously just caught. Both looked at him with matching closed off expressions that somehow managed to make Harry feel even more uncomfortable than the three professors' (or two and one Headmaster) stares. He barely glanced at Peter, who looked rather awkward in his hunched position on his own bed, eyes inquisitive, but nervous.

He shrugged, trying to play casual to Remus' mild tone. "Okay. They just wanted to know what happened." He realized too late it was the perfect invitation for further questioning and his eyes skittered to the floor of their own accord.

Remus cocked his head, instantly recognizing the opening. He flashbacked to the past few minutes. James and Sirius had come in, both unscathed if but for a little mud and some stiffness in Sirius' right arm. He'd been relieved, recognizing the signs of Bludger beating rather than best mate beating. Well, he would've been more relieved if Sirius had come in looking calmer, rather than seeming to have shared his mood with James. Obviously Sirius' issues had not been solved, only diffused.

Neither had spoken of their conversation and Remus was left hoping that later James would take him aside to gain insight. With Sirius this disturbed, that would be most likely be the only way he'd be involved.

But instead, James had surprised him. "What do you think of Harry? How he relates to us and all." It was a surprisingly direct question and Remus instinctively hedged.

"Well we're still getting to know him –" James waved his hand.

"Real opinion Moony. You're intuitive." Remus bit his lip, well aware of that Sirius, though not directly looking at him, was definitely listening.

"I think he's a good guy, but –" he blew out a breath "I can't quite get a fix on him. One moment he's –" he made a senseless hand gesture in frustration "needy" it didn't sound quite right, but it was right "and then the next moment, he's overwhelming. It's like he does need us, but on the other hand, is beyond us, somehow." His brow furrowed. "I'm not sure I'm making sense." James, however, nodded slowly and shared a significant look with Sirius that Remus didn't miss.

"No, you are. As much as the rest of us are making," the last part was muttered almost more to himself and Remus felt his curiosity go up a notch. Just what had they discussed?

He was thrown back to the present as James asked the obvious question to Harry.

"What did happen?"

"It was an ambush like you know," he started awkwardly, desperately not wanting to lie. But the truth, augh it was always so impossible. So he finally lifted his eyes and squarely met Sirius' gaze. "I lost it," he said flatly, then swallowed. "I, I lost family recently," it was too much to look at _him, 'he's gone Harry',_ and he had to shift his eyes to James. "The whole thing brought up a lot of," he failed to come up with the right words and tried again "just things I'm still trying to hash out. I," rebelliously his eyes turned back to Sirius, who was now frowning, and then dropped to the floor. "I'm sorry."

It was vague as hell and all the boys knew it. Normally, Sirius would've immediately called it, but his confusion had just compounded. Family issues? What did that have to do with Regulus and him? James looked at him, expression equally troubled by Harry's new admission.

Remus had no such troubles. Harry had lost family, maybe even his mother – he had mentioned she was dead – most likely to Muggle-haters. Perhaps even…

"Don't apologize," he said quietly, drawing Harry's eyes up. "I know persecution's hard to deal with." Another tendril of empathetic connection, even if Harry (_Remus_) didn't understand the full implications. "Especially when it's about something you can't help," now it was Remus who looked away for a moment. "I'm sorry about your family," he said softly, returning his gaze. James and Sirius, even Peter, nodded in agreement, if a bit stiffly.

Harry's throat did close this time and he shuttered his eyes, feeling the pain rake over him anew. They had no idea. "Yeah, so am I." And guilt laced him. All his fucking fault.

Sirius and James shared another grim look, provoking a frown from Remus at their reticence.

They had only the barest inklings of ideas.

But time revealed all secrets. All they needed was time.


	19. The state of being uncontainable

Thanks to all my reviewers!!

-Obsessed with Snape, Cherri202, Alixa Elizabeth Hufflepuff, LaughableBlackStorm, TonksFan693, LilyFlowerSmart, Serena Gemini, shawn-small (I think you're the first person to thank me!), Sunfairy, Master Mono, Lady Gaidin, PaDfOoT Da GrEaT, skc0724, missaw, Dumbledore-The-Phoenix (LOL!!), Centra-gal86 (yay! enticing!), nettisstjern, xcloudx, brightsidetolife, I-want-to-fly, MySite, beauty0102, TeahLeafs (thanks as always!), Serpent91, Kookies 'n Kreem (write everyday?! O.o), Clovergirl22, Shiruba Fokkusu, poke-me-im-strange, Lupin123, goatkid, Dadaiiro, Cheelalaucha, AquaRias, brunhilda (like your name!), Fk306 animelover, Dragon Rider22, imakeeper, Lazy-Hime, dellacouer (hmm, interesting idea), purrbaby101, kasmo (just have to read on & see!), ashez2ashes (woah - I love your reviews), Lady Potter of Tortall (don't we all wish we could play Quidditch for stress), sukanya :), Benny Nenney (know what you mean), forgotten-magick (fixed your correction, thanks!), Alexis8907, Nights Silhouette, gothlyssa, Moonlit Dreaming, and Sunpelt.

To:

CSebastiene (loved your review - thanks so much! I'll be delving more into Peter later, so overreading just a little so far - and finally, someone else likes the nickname! it's been a tough sell so far)  
Kneazle (sorry about the curse denotation, but I started that way and I'm trying not to put them in too much)  
Epimetheus (think I'll be using your suggestion later - I really like it, just don't want to give away too much too soon, Harry's still not ready)

Final words: I know this chapter took a while, but not a fun one to write, though necessary. But hey, the week has finally ended!! (And all the reviewers say 'Amen, Hallelujah!') Hope the end makes you smile; there will be more in that vein. James has been too mature for too long. Events long anticipated occurring next chapter – should be up before New Years' – cross your fingers. So Merry Christmas!

Now without further ado:

* * *

Hold Me While I'm Here-

Chapter 19: The state of being uncontainable

* * *

It just wasn't Harry's week.

Of course, given the sheer scale of what went wrong that weekend and Monday, anything following was necessarily dwarfed. But nevertheless everywhere he went, a scene was sure to follow.

Sometimes he really hated his life.

* * *

Wednesday had started off almost incident-free.

Changing Harry's bandages in the morning, Remus had looked over his knuckles, noting they were almost healed. Sirius had frowned at the comment, but Harry merely exchanged a tolerant look with Remus, glad to at last be able to defer the question to someone who knew why he would want to avoid answering it. The other boy had scoffed "Padfoot you are so oblivious," which had garnered a confused look from James. But thankfully, hurrying to detention had taken precedence.

There, Hagrid had asked after his health. Apparently the others had excused him from the previous morning cage cleaning by explaining he wasn't feeling well. Still, the sincere question warmed Harry – the half-giant was the closest adult wizard friend he had, even more so in light of recent events.

"I'm doing better," he reassured. "The guys have been really good about it."

Hagrid beamed. "Regular nursemaids," he chuckled. "Wun't think so ter look at 'em, but ther always good 'bout stuff like that. Why, when Remus–"

"Shouldn't you start tying up the manticore?" James quickly cut in. If Hagrid had any true faults, it was the inability to monitor what exactly he was saying. Sirius nodded in agreement, his jaw tense.

"Want to make it to breakfast and all," he added casually.

"Ah, righ'. Jus' a minute." Hagrid jerked to attention, belatedly realizing what he'd been about to say. He made his way to the cage, fumbling with the lock. But nonetheless, he grappled the manticore into submission and dragged it, clawed paws leaving furrows in the earth, to the tying up post. Routine was not making the beast any more amicable. It snarled at them as they passed by to get to the cage, Harry trailing once again. But unfortunately, Hagrid's embarrassment at the close call made him distracted. And in a moment of inattention, fiddling with the chains, the manticore got away from him, snaked tails whipping in fury.

And lunged.

Straight at Harry.

He really hated his life. "Oh bugger," he muttered, falling back. He briefly considered the fact his reaction would've been a lot more severe to the snarling, drooling maw if he hadn't faced down a troll, centaur, Whomping Willow, basilisk, giant spider with many kids, griffin, werewolf, Dementors, a dragon, merfolk, Umbridge, thestrals, escaped Azkaban inmates, and well, Voldemort.

Sirius swore, rushing to push both Harry and Remus, who was closest to him, to the ground while withdrawing his wand, James only a second behind him. This was a bit unnecessary as Harry had inelegantly fallen when trying to back up and already had his wand out.

It became even more unnecessary when, three feet away, Hagrid caught it mid-jump, tree trunk arms wrapping themselves around the creature's lower ribcage in a bone-crushing embrace. Sweat clear on his brow, he hauled the manticore back, this time thoroughly lashing it in the chains.

"Peter, stop screaming," James finally said numbly, still recovering from his heart being jump started. Harry blinked as the high pitched ringing in his ears abruptly cut off. He looked over to the others, all of whom were dangerously near hyperventilating.

"Oh god, I think I just lost ten years off my life," Sirius muttered, giving into the temptation to sit down heavily by Remus and Harry. Remus nodded in agreement.

"You okay Harry?" he asked, looking over to the other practically prone boy. Harry nodded.

"I'm fine." He knew he was far too calm when he received incredulous looks, but honestly, it wasn't as if the manticore had actually reached him.

"Y'all right? Boys, I, I can't believe – 'm sorry," Hagrid, done with securing the creature, turned back to them, brow now shining with sweat due more to shock and horror. "I never – I mean – it won't – shouldn't – never have happen, ever happen again," he blathered on, unable to come up with a sensical apology. Neither Sirius, James, nor even Remus was up to reassuring him.

But Harry managed to produce a weak smile. "It's okay Hagrid. Know you didn't mean for it to happen." He never did. Harry's smile widened a little though, trying to ease the situation, "Though got to love the fact you're ha-" he caught himself in time, mentally bashing himself. Apparently Hagrid wasn't the only one with a loose tongue today. Or it could be the near-death experience. "have, uh," he fumbled awkwardly, trying to think of someway to make sense, "such strength and all." It sounded beyond lame and he mentally winced. Hopefully the near-death experience had equally addled the others' brains.

* * *

"He was about to say half-giant," Sirius hissed, collaring James on their way to breakfast. The others wandered ahead, Remus shooting back a knowing glance, but out of earshot if they spoke low enough.

"It's impossible Padfoot." He said it as much to convince himself as his best friend. "He couldn't possibly know."

"He could guess." Given Hagrid's massive frame, it was possible.

"Didn't sound like a guess," it was mumbled treacherously in undertone, before James addressed Sirius again. "Besides, why would he change what he was going to say?"

They exchanged glances. Could it have been that Harry was unsure of their reactions to the revelation? The idea was unreal.

Sirius jostled James' shoulder pointedly. "I'm telling you Prongs, there is something up with that boy."

James just gave a frustrated sigh, running a hand through his hair.

* * *

Needless to say, during the day's class of Care for Magical Creatures, the Marauders were a little jumpy. They clumped the furthest distance from the chained manticore, still a reasonable distance from the tree line of the Forbidden Forest.

It didn't help that the Slytherins had been released (minus Regulus, though that was practically irrelevant given he was in a different year anyway), serving for a rather tense lesson. Every single Slytherin made it a point to glare at Harry for at least some period of time, a fact he was trying his level best to ignore. He'd expected that: anger, resentment, antagonism, even some fear, though disguised with wounded pride.

But some people just never learned.

Nott was as bad tempered as ever, with the new accomplice of Bemley. Within fifteen minutes of the class' start, the two had resorted to using their wands to flick small stones, dirt clods, and other things lying around in Harry's general direction. It was extremely childish, immature and – Harry's eye ticked as a pine cone flew beyond him about a foot away – really, really annoying. Their aim was by no means the greatest and most of the stuff wasn't even really getting close to him. Still.

Of course, this was all conveniently when Kettleburn's attention was distracted elsewhere and Rosier, though not joining in, was not making a move to do anything about it. The other Marauders noticed obviously, but Remus and James muttered placatingly to a scowling Sirius. All things considered, it was best to not to react to the antagonism.

It was harder for Harry to ignore them, given he was the actual target.

And as if things couldn't get worse, halfway through class, a certain familiar reptilian horse ambled out from the forest. Harry felt his face pale, way too many strong memories being stirred by the sight of the mythic creature.

The last time he'd seen one, Sirius, his Sirius, had been alive.

And the only reason he could even see it…

Remus, noticing his sudden stiffness, nudged his shoulder. "Just ignore them," he murmured. If life was just so simple. He nodded anyway.

The thestral trod a bit closer, lifting its head in an obvious sniffing gesture. Harry's eyes immediately flew to the slabs of raw meat Kettleburn had put to the side for the manticore's consumption. It wasn't going to go after them, was it? His eyes went back to the thestral. Strange white eyes blinked back at him, the bag-of-bones creature cocked his head as it seemed to register his attention. It tossed its silky mane, shrewdly eying him again, before cantering even closer. Harry turned back to Kettleburn, hoping it'd lose interest. He grimaced as a dirt clod rebounded off his shin. Let _someone_ lose interest please.

A good sized stone came whistling through the air, a good four feet to his right and it took him a moment to realize where exactly it was going. Or more accurately, what exactly it was going to hit. He cursed, whipping out his wand.

"_Wingardium Leviosa!_" It was the first thing he could think of – besides the spell had always served him well and this time was no exception. The stone froze in its motion, instead rising even harder in the air. He then flung it safely into the Forbidden Forest. The thestral shook out its leathery black wings in what he guessed was gratitude, looking strangely less sinister than before in the bright daylight.

"Mr. Patterson." He froze, his wand still out from the flicking motion. "What do you think you are doing?"

There was a reason Harry usually didn't immediately answer questions. In his life, his answers tended to be implausible even to wizards, attained through some rule bending and impromptu independent revelations. More often than not, they would either not be believed or they would serve to get him into more trouble than perhaps warranted. Thus he usually considered the situation, the person asking the question, and all possible answers before giving one.

Usually.

"It was going to hit the thestral," he blurted out.

Blank looks. He really hated those 'are you crazy?' expressions – especially when they were on the Marauders' faces, though admittedly Remus' looked more inquisitive.

"Thestral?"

He motioned to the creature, before realizing why Kettleburn and well, everyone else, looked so skeptical. He couldn't see it. Because you couldn't see it unless you'd seen someone die…

Crap.

It really wasn't his week.

Nervously Harry wet his lips. "It's, uh, over there," he said weakly.

"I guess I'll have to take your word for it." Kettleburn's eyes had narrowed in contemplation, even as there was a snickering among the Slytherins. Probably mocking the fact he was seeing invisible creatures. "Since you've brought it up," Kettleburn suddenly spoke, "perhaps you'd like to enlighten the class and describe the thestral?"

Dutifully, he did so, monitoring himself careful to not slip too much tactile information. The last question he wanted was why he knew how it felt to be seated on one. He couldn't be sure of his success as the Slytherins kept up their undertone derision and it was wearing on his already frayed temper. He paused before getting to the most crucial bit of information–

"And why are you the only one who can see it?" Kettleburn prompted.

Harry swallowed, before pointedly looking away from the Slytherins. "Only those who've seen someone die can see them."

The Slytherins stopped laughing.

Kettleburn ignored them. "That was a very fair description Mr. Patterson. I'm impressed. Not that many know about thestrals' sense of direction or details about their flying capacities. I must say, I wasn't aware that thestrals could be found in your part of England." His eyes fixed intently on Harry.

"Well, I'm seen them around the grounds here and," with Kettleburn looked far too interested, Harry couldn't just say he looked them up, "I asked Hagrid." The professor nodded, accepting the other authority.

But Sirius' eyes shot to James, even as Remus' brow furrowed.

* * *

This time Sirius had to wait, tortuously, until Harry went to study in the common room that night before springing on his best friend.

"He lied to Kettleburn."

James, bent over his trunk, fiddled with the lock. "What, you think there wasn't a thestral?" It was an evasive maneuver and one Sirius didn't appreciate.

He glared at the back of his head. "He said he asked Hagrid." James still didn't look up and Sirius internally tried for patience. "He just met him and he's been with us practically every minute since then. If he'd asked that, we'd have known."

"Well, he did go without us and got-" Sirius' pointed glower told Peter it was better to shut up than proceed and he did so without delay.

"Is it important?" Remus asked quietly, holding the books he'd already gathered in anticipation of studying with Harry.

Sirius' teeth ground. "He lied to a teacher-"

"Like we've never done that," James muttered.

"For no obvious reason." Sirius finished. "Not to mention, the fact he can even see thestrals-" James stiffened, while Remus clutched his books tighter. Peter winced.

"It means what Padfoot?" Remus asked deliberately. The other boy deflated a little, but still looked to James, who now rose to his feet.

"It means something," he said stubbornly.

"Being able to see thestrals isn't something anyone advertises." James darted a glance to Remus. "It's not like people ask to be able to." Sirius had better not be inferring what he thought he was.

"Usually it's something you try to forget," Remus said icily. "And it's not something you want to talk about." Sirius scowled at the reminder of the brush off he'd received from Harry upon asking.

"Yeah, well there's an awful lot of things he doesn't like to talk about," he muttered. Remus ignored him.

"I'm going to study with him."

And with that, Remus swept out of the room. Sirius flopped on his bed, still in distemper, and James rubbed his temples.

It just wasn't his week.

* * *

The next morning, Thursday, started on a decently pleasant note. The school owl finally arrived with his letters. Unfortunately, due to possible problematic recognition, he'd had to leave Hedwig in the future, with a very specially spelled owl given to him as contact to the future. (He sighed just a little. It was the first time he'd been parted from her since Hagrid had bought the owl as a gift his first year and it was like losing a security blanket you never realized you'd had.) He was a little surprised the letters had taken so long – the way his time exchange worked was that a day in the past equaled an hour in the future. So he'd be gone for about ten days in the future, though spending a whole school term in the past. At the rate it was going, it was going to be a long year.

He wasn't the only one to get mail though.

Peter spotted it first.

"Oh, someone got a Howler!" All eyes went up to the mass of owls, before settling on an elegant pure black owl of impressive size, gingerly clutching a bright red envelope in its talons. Even as it was sighted, the bird swept down, making for the Slytherin table. Sirius, for once seated besides Harry, swore, unconsciously leaning forward. In the next instant, it was obvious why.

It banked and dropped the letter.

Right in front of a pale Regulus, freshly released from the Hospital Wing.

He looked extremely loathe to open it, but undoubtedly urged by his friends to get it over with, his hand went to the flap.

Given everything he'd faced in his life, Harry's sleep was haunted by surprisingly few things. However, _her _voice, the voice that proceeded to shake dust from the ceiling beams – happened to be one of them.

"–_HOW COULD YOU SHAME OUR NAME – LITTLE BRAT – LOSING TO AN OUTMATCHED HALF-BREED FREAK – CHUM OF THAT BLOOD TRAITOR – ABSOLUTE ABOMINATION – DESERVE-"_

The _Incendio _hit the letter almost glancingly, only succeeding in setting the very edge on fire. Then again, given the distance it traveled to reach it, even that much was impressive. The letter began to burn, forcing the high-pitched shrieking into an even higher range, before fading into a garbled mesh of static.

It was hard to gauge which Black brother was more shocked as they both stared at the culprit: Harry. The blond was halfway out of his seat, clutching his wand so tight the white of his knuckles threatened to become permanent.

"Harry?" Sirius breathed out of a maelstrom of confusion.

"Only so much of that you can listen to," he managed to say, though his teeth felt so tightly locked he just knew he wouldn't be able to eat breakfast.

No one had anything to say to that.

* * *

Between the thestral revelation and the stunt with the Howler, both Sirius and the Slytherins were rather subdued in their aggression from then on. Potions wasn't even that unpleasant, especially considering the fact Slughorne seemed surprisingly agreeable towards Harry. The Slytherins cleared out speedily after class, with one exception.

"Patterson." Harry was a bit surprised that Severus had the nerve to face him, especially after what had happened, but there he was, even braving the looks of utter dislike on Sirius and James. Was he testing the fact it was apparent what Harry hadn't told his friends?

"Yes Severus?" he said casually, hoping the others would be wise enough to keep out of the conversation. He scanned the boy's face, ignoring the scowl settling on Sirius' face at the use of the other's first name.

"I hope you've been sleeping well." Harry was sure he was giving Severus a weird look, trying to decipher that. Was it a critique on the botched ambush? Severus sneered. "On that side of the castle, you must hear all sorts of things from the Forbidden Forest," Severus' gaze sharpened. "especially with the full moon just past." Remus tensed at the sly look Severus slanted his way.

"I sleep fine," he retorted, feeling a tinge of bitterness come to flavor his mind set again. "Actually surprisingly well for natural sleep." That got a reaction from James and Sirius, who both paled. Both Remus and Severus noted the change with equal perplexity. Severus faltered, but kept his sneer.

"How, nice." Dark eyes flicking, floundering on the undercurrent he didn't understand, he then turned on his heel. Harry, not looking at the others, picked up his bag and made for the door as well. Sirius didn't dare dart a look at James, feeling Remus' eyes on him, and instead followed the blond transfer out.

* * *

They were all barely out into the hallway, when Remus tugged James aside. "Um could I speak to you for a minute?"

James hated when he used that phrase. It always made him feel like he was in teacher trouble.

"Sure," he nodded to Harry and Sirius to go on ahead and ignored Sirius' edginess.

Once the other two were out of earshot, Remus turned to him. "I think Harry knows."

James blinked. How did Remus know? "What?"

"I think Harry knows, about," he made a motion that obviously conveyed nothing to the other. With a frustrated sigh, he made bunny ears, "my 'furry little problem'." It was either James or Sirius' description of his lycanthropy. Who had coined it was still under debate, one the two would rehash in their particularly bored moments.

James looked at his friend blankly, taking a moment to register this particular danger. "What do you mean knows?" he finally asked. "Do you mean he suspects?" He would be ready to deal with heading off suspicions, not actual knowledge and the resultant fall out.

Remus frowned. "Snape keeps mentioning things, but he doesn't react to it. And he was way too calm about this weekend," he explained, the frown deepening.

"So you think he knows because he's not acting weird around you or reacting to Snivellius' low-belly hints?" James had to clarify. When Remus gave a tentative nod, he had to laugh. He clapped his werewolf best friend on the shoulder. "You're being paranoid Moony. Now don't worry about it. We've got your back."

Mentally though, he made a note. Yet another thing to make sure Harry didn't know.

* * *

All things, Harry was glad to experience, must come to an end. Thus, the week finally dragged to its end, though not without one last bang.

Surprisingly, the focus was not Harry, for once. No, James had not been able to tolerate the complete stripping of the spotlight from himself. Between the Quidditch game, the prank and the aftermath, almost the whole school had become fixated on Harry. Honestly, James could understand the attention, even believe it merited to some degree, but when Lily asked him for the forth time if Harry was alright...

Harry wasn't actually there when it happened. He was just up in the dorm grabbing a book. Nevertheless, he was reasonably sure Muggles in the next town from Hogsmeade heard her retort.

"JAMES POTTER! You honestly think just because Harry's injured, I would go out with you to Hogsmeade?! You insufferable prat!"

There was the sound of something breaking and splashing? Harry winced. Rushing down the stairs, he barely managed to catch a glimpse of furious red hair whipping out the portrait hole. But his attention was quickly distracted to his future father, who was covered in bits of green plastic and something fruity Harry could smell all the way from the bottom of the dormitory stairs. A pretty white blond third year looked ready to cry and Harry could guess where the mess had originally come from.

"Oh Prongs…" Sirius said despairingly, his lips twitching.

James scowled up at him, snatching the paper towel Peter had managed to scrounge up. "What?" he demanded. "What was so wrong?"

Biting his lip, Harry revised his conclusion.

It just wasn't a good week for Potter males.


	20. The best laid plans

Thanks to all my reviewers! I've officially hit over a 1000 reviews!! WOO-HOO!!  
I must say though, I was surprised by how many of you really like the last chapter – perhaps it was the length! Hope you like this one too… -smirk-

-Puella, WitchVela, xcloudx, animegurl088, shadowkitsune-chan, Hiei-Rulez, sweet-babie-phoenix, Kates Master, outkast angel, SwiftShadow, Shadow's Darkest Depths, m-girls, Serena Gemini, SilverJadlyn, reader, Vobi, Lady Potter of Tortall, Moonlit Dreaming, Sam, Saint of Dragons, Kara Adar, Nights Silhouette, Alixa Elizabeth Hufflepuff, shadow, Serpent91, Master Mono, Padfoot2446, Dragon Rider22, i'm a misfit, I-want-to-fly, sukanya, Shiruba Fokkusu, Nessa19, crystalbladedragon, Cherri202, Clovergirl22, Nicolet, tHeInSaNeOnE, Jen4, LilyFlowerSmart, asdfjkl;, beauty0102, kasmo, LaughableBlackStorm, Dadaiiro, Centra-gal86, Von, Fk306 animelover, Spartan Eragon, dellacouer, Dumbledore-The-Phoenix, Frankiethegreat, gothlyssa.

**Special responses:**

imakeeper – Voldemort is increasing in power, but school kids are still not that likely to see someone die. They're usually the last to the battle field, though that will change as Voldemort reaches his peak of power.

babydragon – I so agree, all these emotions are tiring and believe me Harry's getting rather worn down. I also 'so' agree with the fact that Sirius means more, all things considered, but James is becoming more important to him. He's getting to know him for the first time and the underlying fact James is his father is starting to become significant. Now, about the lack of initiative in getting to know Lily, the guys are throwing him on a complete emotional roller-coaster. At some level, he just doesn't have the energy to try to get to know Lily, considering she's with her friends, boy-girl dynamics, and the concern that James might take the interest the wrong way (not to mention Lily –shudder-). About how this works in-canon, oh I'll get to that way later, though I'm glad you recognize that he simply can't reveal what he knows. Um, and I loved 'all the fun confliction emotions in between', it is so much fun!

Okay, about **Dumbledore's state of knowledge**: he knows Harry's from the future, but no details, not even technically who he is.

Amusing review: Obsessed with Snape wished others would 'update as fast as me'! Obviously all my original readers know just when s/he started to read this fic...

* * *

Hold Me While I'm Here-

The best laid plans...

* * *

Sirius was not made for a peaceful existence.

Neither was James for that matter. Scarcely had the school settled down from the latest commotion, albeit with noticeable loathing on the Slytherins' side, then they had a plan to stir it back up again.

Obviously they didn't appreciate the beauty of tranquility as much as Harry did.

(Or it could be due to the fact Hagrid, still greatly unnerved by their close encounter with the manticore, had thereby cancelled the rest of their detention. The Marauders were not too keen on getting detention over more detention, but in its absence… Harry was greatly relieved if, for no other reason, it meant no more interaction with those damn snakes. Of course, he still had his own personal detention to worry about.)

He stared at them blankly from his position across the room on his bed. Both were perched on James' bed. "A prank?" he asked in disbelief. "You want to pull another prank?" He didn't think he could be anymore incredulous. The furor over his last pranking incident had just barely calmed down. They couldn't be serious.

On their respective beds, Remus and Peter looked far less surprised. Peter, actually, seemed all for it, beaming and clasping his hands – probably excited at the very fact this one he'd be involved in. Remus had the expression of resignation that he'd seemed to perfected from just such similar instances of his best mates' irrepressible natures. He faintly smiled at Harry's protest.

"They can't go that long with pranks," he informed the blond. "There have been experiments undertaken." He said it so deadpan, Harry really couldn't be sure he was joking. He ran a hand through his hair.

"But on the Slytherins?" he voiced, taking another tact. "Don't you think that's, ah," he switched his gaze from Sirius to James, realizing the futility of convincing the former, "unwise?" Surely that was beyond evident; currently the Slytherins hated his guts and didn't seem too hot on the rest of the Marauders. And given their last disastrous attempt to 'avenge their honor', Harry was a little leery of antagonizing them further, especially when he still felt some residual guilt.

Sirius snorted, crossing his arms. "It's Slytherins." He said it as if that explained everything – though to him, it really did. Antagonizing them was practically instinctual.

James met Harry's gaze though, hazel glinting beyond the sheen of glass. "It's not as ridiculous as it seems," he replied, fingers lanced beneath his chin – and answering any questions Harry may have had about his father's perceptiveness. "It's a way to get back to the status quo. That we just want to have fun and-" he unlinked a hand to wave it vaguely in the air, letting the motion explain what he did not.

_Not maim each other._

Yes, a return to the status quo that'd gotten thrown out the window when Rosier and company had ambushed him utterly unsuccessfully. Harry felt his face burn uncomfortably. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Remus sigh, but not disagree.

"Uh, okay," he muttered awkwardly.

Who was he to argue with the status quo?

* * *

Thus began the planning of Operation Prank #380. (There was some heated debate if Harry's candy prank should be counted as he was a Marauder at the time, but eventually consensus ruled that there had to be at least two Marauders to be involved in the prank for it to be deemed Marauder property. Up to this point, that'd never been an issue as Sirius and James were almost always co-conspirators, with Remus serving as fill-in in a pinch.)

Harry was glad for the distraction – Ron and Hermione's letters had been soothing and chummy, making him long for them anew, even more so as their advice was already a week outdated. His troubles with Sirius were far from his top concern currently, well at least during the day…

"So we have a general target," James announced. He wrote 'Slytherins' in large print in the middle of the chalk board Remus had extracted from his trunk. From the ease of setting it up, Harry had a feeling this was a long-practiced tradition. Last time, Sirius had simply come up with an idea – but his future godson had a feeling what he was now viewing was the Marauders really at their pranking finest. "How 'bout a location?" Sirius perked up, but before he could even open his mouth, James continued, "And the Slytherins' common room is not an option Padfoot, as it is too difficult to get into." Sirius' eyes flicked to Peter, but again, James anticipated the suggestion. "Isn't that right Wormtail?"

Peter froze for a second as James turned to gaze calmly at him, before in turn flicking his eyes to Harry. Following the motion, Peter nodded vigorously. Harry pretended not to notice the glaring nonverbals, instead trying to swallow the bitter taste that always tainted his mouth at his father's use of _that_ nickname.

"So the common room is out," Remus tried to move on, feeling the pause drag on.

"How 'bout a hallway?" Harry suggested.

James shook his head. "Too problematic. They might not show or be too late or have others with them or around or be arranged in such a way that the prank won't work effectively," he brushed over a few of the potential problems. Harry tried not to show his astonishment at their thoroughness. They'd really thought these things out.

"As shown in the Scatter Splat prank," Remus muttered. James abruptly turned red and back to the board.

"Yes well," he said quickly. "So where should it be?"

Harry look to Remus curiously. He'd used a title, not a number which meant the prank had to have been a doozy. More Marauder tales – something tugged in him deep. Remus mouthed 'I'll tell you later.'

"Well not the Great Hall," Peter piped up. "We keep doing them there."

Before anyone could agree, Sirius rolled his eyes. "Oh c'mon Wormtail, that's like saying we shouldn't prank people because that's who we always prank," he said mockingly.

James started to nod when that elusive inspiration for all those mischievous everywhere chose that very moment to visit. "Actually, maybe that's not a bad idea."

Sirius raised an eyebrow as James' grin grew to proportions he knew all too well. "This better be good Prongs."

"Oh, it is."

* * *

It was actually a genuinely brilliant idea, though Harry had a few reservations. However considering the technical difficulty, it took the whole weekend and a good part of the next week to plan it out to workability. This was further hampered by the fact the teachers knew full well what whispering among the Marauders meant – and they kept strict vigilance. McGonagall was particularly rigorous, for obvious reasons, walking by them at least ten times during Transformation class and demanding to see their notes at the most random times. But the Marauders weren't experienced pranksters for nothing. Indeed, McGonagall, examining a perfectly normal sheet of decent notes on transforming a plate into a mirror, was infuriated to find them more obviously studious than she'd ever previously seen. (It was probably even more galling as that was probably the biggest tip-off they were up to something.)

She even went as far as to recruit the Head boy and girl, even though only the boy was a Gryffindor: Eric Meltrix, an only slightly-less-pompous-than-Percy blond. The girl was a Ravenclaw; the tall, brunette, and rather pretty Alice Fenshew. She was nice as well, always willing to offer anyone who asked the bubblegum she was never without: Droobles. It wasn't until she offered it to him during a casual check-on the scheming Marauders that he recognized her. And that was enough to send his mind reeling. Neville's mother was a Ravenclaw? He'd heard the Longbottoms referred to as 'two of the finest minds' from various Order members, but somehow, it now seemed that much more – tragic...

Regardless, the two Head students were rather annoyingly persistent in their watchfulness. (When the pair almost caught them in the library after hours, James was infuriated and rather melodramatically swore retribution not only on them, but whoever became Head students in the next year. Harry nearly hacked up a lung trying to disguise his sudden laugh with a coughing fit.)

Fortunately, this seemed to be compensated by a sudden resurgence of Gryffindor House solidarity. In light of the open Slytherin hostility, some had obviously decided Harry and the rest of the Marauders, almost by default, needed to be supported. Though a number, especially those younger, still viewed Harry with obvious fear and intimidation, the rest seemed to instead respect him and even take pride in his 'achievement.' Harry found himself sporadically pat on the back, the beneficiary of spontaneous distractions that let him and the others slid out from the Head students' watchful eyes, and even fielding some oh-so innocent questions about what he and the others were planning. Though a little startling, it came in handy – random bunches of Gryffindors now had a habit of popping up whenever the Slytherins got a bit too mouthy or just a tad too menacing.

It was odd. Harry had very rarely experienced such House loyalty. Too often the whole castle had turned against him.

And he was torn between appreciation and discomfort.

* * *

Finally, before dinner on Tuesday, all preparation was complete. James looked them all over, striding in front of the line of them before their entrance into the Great Hall. It was rather like a general marshalling his troops; and probably not the smartest idea given the probability of running into a student early for dinner.

"So everybody know their assignments?" His eyes flicked to Sirius.

"Distraction with you." Looking relaxed and nearly bored, Sirius was all ease and nonchalance, eerily reminiscent of the image Harry had seen so vividly months earlier in Snape's pensieve. Only the fingering of his wand, though still in his cloak, belied his anticipation.

"Spell casting," Remus chimed, Harry echoing him a moment later.

"Look out," predictably Peter. He was the only one who looked genuinely nervous, even though excited. His job was just a little more complicated: he was to both signal for the spell casting to begin as well as make sure it didn't get interrupted.

"Flighty, you sure you awake enough for this?" The acidic, yet concerned, question came from Sirius, who eyed Harry narrowly. He looked exhausted, dark smudges under his eyes giving colorful proof of just how well he'd lately been sleeping.

He shrugged off the concern, meeting Sirius' gaze with perfected detachment. It wasn't like he could explain the nightmares of Bellatrix's laughter, Sirius – _his_ Sirius – falling, and the shrieking portrait – the nightmares that required a nightly _silencio_ on himself to prevent waking the others with his screams for Sirius. He thought he might've had a reprieve due to the potions he'd been taking, but that damned Howler plus the thestral had managed to successfully dredge up all the ghosts.

He hated irony.

"I'm fine." There was an edge to his voice that warned away further question.

James bit his lip, disliking the futility of his own worry. It was a far cry from the 'I sleep fine' retort of last week. Remus had informed him about Harry's tossing and turning, which frequently drove the werewolf into wakefulness. He'd casually suggested offering the newest Marauder some sleeping draught, but James had nixed the idea. He wasn't sure how Harry would take the offer, especially if he truly did suspect or even know Sirius had dosed him without his consent. He'd mentioned nothing though and the suspicion remained neither confirmed nor denied.

"Okay," James moved on, aware of the need to get the plan in motion. He put his hand out palm down and immediately the others piled theirs on. "One for all-"

"All for one," the rest finished, Harry hyperaware of the fact Peter's hand was the one his was resting on.

James grinned. "Let's do this."

And they broke.

* * *

"So how are you doing this fine evening, Evans?" Lily frowned as James Potter casually dropped into the seat next to her, as if the last few days of basic avoidance after his latest attempt to ask her out had failed spectacularly had never happened. She turned towards him to avoid the signs he was about to throw an arm over her shoulders – a stunt she'd thought she'd managed to convince him was sufficiently dangerous for him not to attempt. Then again, this was James Potter, best mate to Sirius Black. That made him not only thick, but prone to view danger as simply the next adventure.

Her eyes narrowed as he smiled charmingly. "What are you up to Potter?" she asked. It hadn't escaped her notice that he and his pals were early to dinner and finished in record time. Nor that Sirius was trying so hard to look innocent as he placed himself on the opposite side, back to the other Houses.

Hazel eyes widened in mock affront. "Do I need to be up to something to spend time with you, Lily-" His and Sirius' 'adorable' nickname for her was abruptly cut off.

"Finish that sentence and I will make sure you smell fruity for the rest of this week too," she growled. Both Marna and Kalista smothered sniggers, while Evelin rolled her eyes at the slightly over-dramatic threat.

James wasn't able to keep the very edges of a blush from forming, but quickly moved on.

Further down the table, Harry watched the interaction with incredulity. "He's using Lily as the diversion?" he hissed. Remus managed a wry smile.

"Considering how their conversations usually go, it's not a bad idea. I'm sure there's more to the diversion though." Peter nodded, having been the only one of the three privy to the exact specifics of what the distraction was to be. Harry and Remus had only received an arrogant 'I've got it covered' paired with a hand hair comb.

"Padfoot's supposed to slip some Whistling Warbles under the Hufflepuff table." Harry's brow furrowed.

"Whistling Warbles?" he repeated.

"They're these marbles that are charmed to whistle tunes while they roll on the ground," Remus explained. "Little kids, well wizard kids," he qualified with a sheepish shrug, "-play with them all the time." Harry flushed a little at the realization of his ignorance, but Remus' smile didn't change. Obviously, he wasn't expecting Harry to have known about them. Harry hated it though, that there was so much he simply didn't know just because he hadn't been raised as a wizard. He'd missed out on so much…

"Okay," Peter straightened. "Here we go." The talk between James and Lily had gotten more heated, to the point other Houses were now looking eagerly to see one of the most popular guys in school make an ass of himself. Harry shook his head, feeling both amusement and exasperation at the sight. How'd they ever have a conversation long enough to decide she really didn't despise him?

Peter poked him, making him stiffen reflexively. Marauder or not, he was still the damn rat. Still, he obediently trained his eyes on Sirius.

The canine Animagus seemed to be simply enjoying the sight in front of him, but Harry'd obviously missed the release as within seconds tendrils of various pitched melodies rose from the Hufflepuff table. Heads quickly swiveled.

"Now," Peter wheezed unnecessarily. Remus' eyes were already fixed on his target and he began muttering the first spell. They hadn't been able to find a specific spell to suit all that they wished to do, unsurprisingly, so they decided on a trio. The most demanding was cast first by Remus, then Harry would follow with the next almost equally difficult charm, and then Remus would finish with the easy spell.

Thus, to understand just how dramatically wrong what actually happened, one has to understand the boys' complete actual plan.

What was better to prank than Slytherins themselves; that would really strike the heart of their pride, but still be harmless?

Answer: their sigil – the Slytherin snake that hung proudly every mealtime on a banner over the Slytherin table.

The plan was actually rather simple. They simply were going to turn it pink and animate it to say beautifully mortifying things like 'I love Gryffindor!' and 'Snakes are so slimy!' (Sirius' idea) and so on. Unfortunately, this required at least three spells: the animation spell, speech spell, and color spell. So they decided on a quick succession, in that order of difficulty.

It was a good plan.

But as soon as Remus' spell hit the snake, it became just that: past tense.

* * *

The Slytherins didn't register what was happening at first, most preoccupied with either the entertainment on the other side of the room or just finishing their meals. But one Slytherin girl noticed the shadow growing on the table and looked up.

And screamed.

And in front of many sets of horrified eyes, the snake detached from the banner to land, hissing and majestic, on the Slytherin table, splattering food left and right.

It was huge, easily almost as long as the table though it quickly coiled, raising its head to at least twice Hagrid's height. Black as death, its scales seemed to absorb the light that hit it rather than reflect.

"Oh, oh, oh," Peter hiccupped, looking ready to faint. Remus was hardly in better condition, Harry barely managing to grab him with two hands when his legs threatened to collapse under him. He was as pale as Nick, though Harry couldn't be sure how much had to do with shock and how much had to be due to the exertion of the spell. Considering the result, it had to have been more draining than they'd expected.

Harry's mind raced, but he came up with nothing. Absolutely nothing. It was like the Dueling Club all over again, but multiplied by twenty. But perhaps nothing was necessary, after all weren't the teachers there?

Imperiously, the snake lifted its head, a tongue the size of two broadswords laid end to end darting out of its mouth to scent the air.

"_Wizardssssssssss…"_ it hissed.

Yes, let the teachers take care of it. It was only a snake, after all.

Scanning the room, it cocked its head, before turning to the table it was on. _"Ssssssslytherinssssssssss…"_

Just a massive snake that could identify Houses. Harry's skin began to prickle.

Then something flitted across its face, some emotion that Harry understood only viscerally.

His blood ran cold.

Slowly, it lowered the head, looking over the frozen students staring at it in horror. Its eyes seemed to narrow. _"I ssssssmell mudbloodssssssss…"_

Harry felt the urge to laugh so strongly he knew if he gave into it, he'd burst out crying.

It just figured the Slytherin snake would have a superiority complex.

The head froze and Harry knew he'd just found his first target as the tongue flicked out yet again, so vividly red it was like a jet of flame from the jaws of hell.

He let go of Remus and took off. The resulting scramble was a mishmash of going over tables, benches, sliding under, going around – he was only halfway there though, blood beating so hard it was all he could hear, when the head reared back, smiling grotesquely in a way that perfectly showed the two saber tooth like fangs it possessed.

It was going to attack.

"Stop!" he shouted, feeling the vertigo feeling of horror and fear when he couldn't distinguish if it was in Parseltongue or not. Would it even listen? He wasn't a Slytherin, though it'd never been a problem before...

He vaulted unto the Ravenclaw table, scattering dishes, to finally stop and stand on the bench nearest Slytherin. Some elevation would be better than none strategically and he probably didn't want to get too close to the massive snake with obvious issues.

He was able to breathe again when he saw the snake had indeed stopped, now facing him instead. The head rose again, rearranging its coils with an audible slithering sound, before swinging out.

"_Whoo are yoou?" _it hissed, the eyes narrowing suspiciously. Harry gulped, just now realizing that he'd dropped his wand when he'd grabbed Remus. Furiously cursing himself out in his head, he tried to ignore the rising sense of dread – no snake had ever questioned his authority, even if they'd bowed to Voldemort's instead. He'd have to stall until the teachers, Remus, someone did something.

"_Doessssn't really maatter," _he hissed back. _"I can ssspeak to yoou, can't I?"_

The snake's eyes narrowed further and the head, easily as large as his entire torso, lowered closer. The tongue darted out. _"Yoou'rre not the heirr."_

Harry nearly rolled his eyes. After everything he'd gone through second year, all he'd needed to do was ask the Slytherin snake.

A sense of unreality unfolded. He was small talking with the symbol of Salazar Slytherin himself.

Like his life wasn't weird enough.

"_Noo." _And just out of spite, certainly not common sense, he added,_ "Noot like the heirr'ssss purreblood anyyway."_ The snake's eyes widened and it recoiled as if struck.

"_Yoou lieeee."_

Harry swallowed hard. Perhaps antagonizing the giant snake wasn't such a bright idea.

"_Sssstill trrue Sssslytherin,"_ he said placating, the surge of unreality giving way back to near panic. What was taking Remus so long? Surely he could reverse the spell?

His eyes trailed away from the snake. He wasn't sure he could switch from Parseltongue without not looking at the giant black reptile. But it would only be for a minute and the snake didn't look ready to pounce.

It was a risk…

Oh, sod it all.

He swiveled his head, eyes speeding to Remus, one pale face among many. "Any time Remus!"

* * *

Remus had heard all his life about seeing things in slow motion, as if all the horrible things in life occur at some slowed pace that even the person watching is subject to.

It was a complete and utter lie.

It was just when you could see just what was going to happen right before it does that makes it seem to take longer. The anticipation.

Seeing the snake hiss furiously and tense, just before release.

The looming black reptile, backdrop to Harry in his black robe and obscenely bright hair, face white – calling.

Hardly had the scream to warn Harry rose in his throat, then the snake struck with terrifying speed. "No Harry!"

Frozen in horror, he barely registered James and Sirius propelling into motion, moving in synch without even having to trade a look. It wasn't like it mattered though.

They were far too late.

* * *

The only warning he had was the hiss – _"Liessss, not Sssslytherin!"_ and an echoing scream from somewhere to his left.

Instinctively, he went into a roll to his right, but it was for naught. The fangs scissored into his chest and arm, creating a sickening grating sound as Harry had the horrible realization they were sliding against bone, cracking and crushing...

His lungs seized and his torso turned to a fiery agony.

And inanely the thought he'd been wrong – that he knew when snakes were ready to attack – flitted through his head.

* * *

"Oh my g–" James gasped, reaching the Ravenclaw table only a moment after Sirius. The other Marauder had his wand out, but whatever spell he'd cast seemed to have no effect on the monstrous snake. It probably didn't help that now they had to worry about hitting Harry as the limp boy was lifted into the air by the massive head with a sickening squelch. James could practically hear the movement of the teeth against Harry's internal organs and his stomach rolled threateningly. Blearily, he heard Sirius curse extensively. "Do you know how to reverse it?" he gasped out to Sirius.

The other shook his head in badly restrained tension. "Not a clue," he bit out. "Where's Remus?"

But it was unnecessary as he practically could feel the approach of Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Flitwick – faces grim. They'd risen on its appearance, but didn't want to startle it by approaching too quickly. But the time for caution was most definitely over.

"Move out of the way, Potter, Black," McGonagall commanded.

"Thank God," mumbled James.

* * *

Harry had more than one experience with death, or at least near-death. Almost all of these were connected with either snakes or damn Slytherins, particularly the damn greatest snake-speaker of them all.

And yet, as his mind threatened to detach as the pain lanced through him as he was hauled into the air, it always felt different.

And this time?

Bones creaking under stress.

The liquid flow of things inside that should've been staying in one place.

A nauseating vertigo as all exterior support but the frigid cold of snake salvia and sword-like teeth was removed.

Black swimming before his eyes, to the point he couldn't tell if they were open or not.

And the fiery inferno of pain that radiated throughout the entire top of his body, shards seeming ready to slice him in half.

Blood rush.

Giddy.

Had to hold on – why didn't he have a wand – help had to come – had to still fight – resist – his right arm hit the snake nearly in the eye but it didn't even flinch – the head jerked and his world flip-flopped excruciatingly – and then the motion stopped – no reversed – jaws snapping – he was falling, free of teeth – teeth? – hitting the ground, but not really hitting, gently landing but with a liquidy thump.

He was barely conscious when he saw the fuzzy shapes of Sirius and James dominate his vision, hanging on through sheer force of will.

Sirius was cursing and James looked at him with an expression he couldn't focus on. Being able to distinguish them was hard enough. He blinked, but it just made it harder for his eyes to remain open.

"Harry, Harry, can you hear me?"

His lips creased in what could possibly be construed as an answering smile, before he coughed wetly. Something dribbled over his chin and he had a feeling it was blood red. "Hate, snakes," he muttered thickly.

"Yeah," Sirius? said.

"Oh god, Harry." This time he was pretty sure it was James, staring in horror as he coughed again. The glasses reflected almost blindingly.

He grimaced-smiled again. "Not, that bad," he gasped out, feeling things slide far too fluidly inside him with far too much detachment. "Had, worse." Hadn't he? For some reason, he hoped so – but that didn't make sense…

James' terrified face above him was the last thing he saw as his eyes rolled back and the world faded to real, scale-less black.


	21. Tailfeathers strikes again

Hey all my peeps! (glad to see new reviewers!) Sorry for the completely late update – this semester has been insane and life was simply demanding attention! But, yay! Summer! Already working on the next chapter!

Just trying to make Harry's year eventful folks! –Big, big grin- JKR did leave large shoes to fill. And I can't believe the book will soon be here!!

And woah, so many OMGs as well as so much fear Harry is dead. Silly people this is a HP story, without him there is no story! It's like worrying JKR would kill Harry off in one of the books. Just silly – we don't have to worry about that until this last book!

**Feature questions:**

_The Snake_: Irrisa Taisho – no the snake was not a basilisk, just a regular snake. Rowling never said the symbol for Slytherin was a basilisk, just a snake. Purrbaby101 – why would the snake intuitively know Harry was telling truth? Kasmo – Harry's never really just controlled snakes, they've just shown him respect. Voldemort can control snakes, but Harry never really has and when it comes to a Slytherin sigil snake? I don't think so.

_The Teachers: _Alexis8907 – they were a little in shock, but about to spring into action when Harry ran at the snake. Then, they didn't want to disturb the tête-à-tête between Harry and the snake – for fear of causing it to attack – I know, in hindsight, ironic.

_Sirius_: Wow, a lot of people think this'll make Sirius fuzzy for Harry. Um, did we miss the whole Parseltongue and Heir of Slytherin connection? Ava Monroe – yes Sirius will make Harry crack – at some point –evil smirk-. And yay! You like Remus! I so agree, Rowling totally undercut in the books what he could be for Harry.

ashez2ashes – Yes, Remus did see the thestral! Um and lighter stuff is incoming, my time line got switched around a little. I agree, him being a Parselmouth is big news, but, er, I'm not really going to go into that – maybe later. Oh and actually I didn't even consider St. Mungo's, but it'd screw up my timeline unfortunately…

"Is there any chance of Harry getting to spend the winter holidays with James family?" –Big grin- Wait and see.

CSebastiene – "I can't imagine how poor Harry must feel, seeing all these people who suffered so much during Voldemort's first reign as (mostly) innocent teenagers, just readying themselves to face the outside world at large." So true.

And on with the show! Been leaving Harry bleeding on the ground for long enough… Time to finally lighten up the plot a little.

* * *

Hold Me While I'm Here-

Tailfeathers Strikes Again

* * *

"I do not believe I have to explain the seriousness of the occurrences of this night. It is extremely fortunate that Professor McGonagall, Madame Pomphrey, and myself were at hand or a visit to St. Mungo's may have been necessary. We are extremely lucky it was not."

White faces became even paler, if that was possible.

"However, Mr. Patterson has considerable injuries to his torso and left arm. He's lost a lot of blood and broken a large extent of his ribs and left arm. Thankfully the snake's fangs managed not to full-on pierce any major organ and very nearly missed his spine. But he is in critical condition and unlikely to regain consciousness until tomorrow at the earliest."

It was quite certain there was at least one muttered 'Bloody hell', but it was impossible to tell who exactly it was issued from – though an educated guess couldn't be far wrong.

"I assume this was not your intent in constructing this prank." It wasn't really a question, though Dumbledore's light eyes swept over the assorted gang pointedly, but James nodded anyway. "In light of the damage done however, it must come as no surprise that Gryffindor will be losing 75 House points. Beyond that, I do think you have been punished enough."

He let the words hang in the air before bringing his speech to a close. "At this point, I would normally dismiss you to your dorm, but I feel there is no need to make you break more rules than you already have. I would ask however, that you would remove yourselves after you have assured yourselves of Mr. Patterson's condition."

And with that, Dumbledore took his leave of both the Marauders and the Hospital Wing.

* * *

There was dead silence.

James was finally the one to break the silence, clearing his throat from his position sitting on a spare bed. "So what went wrong?" His hoarse voice sounded almost deafening in the thick gloom, but nevertheless he strove for composure.

"The animation spell," Remus was compelled to speak from his spot opposite. "But I don't understand why - it never did anything like that in any of the tests, I mean-" he kept speaking, his horror of what had happened – because of him – breaking his composure. They had performed trial runs, on much smaller targets. After a few tweaks, they'd managed exactly what they had been planning. It didn't make any sense. He saw again the snake fall before his mind's eye.

"If it wasn't the spell, then what went wrong?" James cut Remus off sharply. The other boy flinched, before going on more subdued.

"_A History,_" he murmured, clearing his throat when it tightened. "_A History _says that the banners are the originals created by the Founders. I suppose, somehow they are magically engineered and-" He couldn't go on. They had all seen what happened. And on some level, it was a moot point. They couldn't go back and fix it.

James sighed, bringing up a hand to rub the low throb by his temples. "But why did it attack Harry?" It was the next obvious question, edged with a fatigue James could not hide. "If it even needed a reason…" he murmured more to himself.

Peter looked around the casual circle, wringing his hands in a sudden reflexive motion. "Maybe he did something?" he suggested weakly.

"Or hey, gee, maybe it was something he said," Sirius finally spoke bitingly, arms crossed over his chest. "You know, when he was soddin' speaking in PARSELTONGUE to it!" Despite the fact he was leaning against the wall, he nearly vibrated with heated energy.

James shot him a look at the volume, but he knew better than to take the words completely at face value. Sirius felt the same impotent anger as himself. That once again Harry was suffering for their oversight.

Mad at himself.

Mad at his best mate.

Mad at Remus. Mad at Peter, mad at Dumbledore, mad at McGonagall, mad at the Slytherins, mad at the snake, mad at the Houses, mad at Salazar Slytherin, mad at the Great Hall, mad at magic, mad at _Hogwarts, A History, _mad at anything and everything that could possibly be blamed for what happened.

Mad at Harry.

And like always, that anger focused on a single object.

Sirius pushed off the wall. "And don't you dare give me that look James or say you don't want to hear it! He's a soddin' Parselmouth! _A Parselmouth!_" He was vehement, but obeying James' implicit warning, he used intensity rather than volume to emphasize his words. And then he was away, pacing yet again. "Do you even–" he choked on the words, whirling on James. "damn it James – you have to know what that means!"

He could excuse Peter and even Remus, grown up on the fringes of pureblood society. Both were the children of wizards, but there was Muggle blood in their families. Peter just might not have understood 

the implications of Parseltongue and Remus might never have learned about it due to his rural childhood.

But James… James had to know, had to know what pureblood families thought about Parseltongue, how _dark_ pureblood families combed their ancestral lines for that spark of hope, that they were related to Salazar. Every pureblood house had their lineages, but there were always gaps, holes that research simply could not fill, and a point at which they could not go further back. And so the claim, the wonder, the curiosity if they, even those faithful to Slytherin's ideals, could possibly be connected to him so intimately allured them.

The gift would prove it.

_Gift_, Sirius' stomach rolled.

"Do you know-" he hissed, "what a pure-blood family would give to have one?"

If he'd been alone with James, he might've told him that when he was six, his parents had tested him. They'd used a simple garden snake, not wanting to expose their firstborn son to any actual danger. They sat him down and stood back, herding the snake closer to him. He might've told James that he still remembered that incident, the snake slithering closer to him unwillingly, testing the air. And how he'd reached for the snake with the naïveté of youth, grabbing it in the hard grip all children naturally use. And how the green head had waved, hissing, before sinking its fangs into his arm.

He might've even told James that was when he first learned to hate snakes.

His parents hadn't tried again.

But he didn't tell them.

"But he's not pureblood," Peter ventured.

"It doesn't matter," he dismissed lowly. It would be heretical to what all purebloods believed, but given the actual frequency of interbreeding, it was conceivable. Ironic, especially to Sirius, but conceivable. "It's the mark of Slytherin."

James could see where he was going in the dark glint of his eyes and his jaw tensed. Still, he didn't argue head-on. "But then why would the snake attack him?"

Sirius stiffened, still in the middle of the room. Tension solidified in the lines of his shoulders as his hands slowly fisted. They weren't going to like his answer and his gaze fastened to the wall. "It could've been staged."

Peter's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates.

"Staged?" James repeated in disbelief, not sure if he was more shocked at the idea or the fact Sirius was actually suggesting it. A tight nod.

"Are you crazy?" Remus finally spoke up, vitriolic and caustic as he nearly jumped from his seat. Only his store of self-control kept him from making as dramatic a display as the other boy. He gave a derisive laugh. "No, Sirius," the werewolf bit out the name insultingly. "what you are is paranoid. You honestly think Harry nearly killed himself to weaken reactions to the fact he's a Parselmouth?"

Peter was struck silent.

It was ingenious.

"The bite wasn't that bad," Sirius said thinly, his lips white and compressed.

"That bad?" Remus echoed in shock and horror. Had he even listened to Dumbledore?!

Sirius gave a half-turn. "It could've been worse."

"Yeah," James couldn't help himself. "He could've died!"

Remus' eyes narrowed to slits. "I suppose this should be unexpected, I mean, it's not like you have a prejudice that makes you see dark wizards under every tree and bush."

The barb struck home and Sirius' face hardened. He wheeled towards Remus. Clenching his fist, he managed to restrain his first impulse to lash out. "Moony, open your eyes," he hissed. "Would you stop seeing a soddin' fellow victim?"

James tensed in his seat, ready to intervene if necessary if, when Sirius crossed the line. And predictably, the Black boy's voice hardened even further.

"Even if he isn't a dark wizard –"

It was as far as James let him get. He couldn't let him go farther, because farther was not something James was ready to consider. Not now, not ever.

He wasn't a dark wizard.

Not Harry. Not Remus.

_Not yet._

"Sirius! Just stop!"

He stood between them, hands unnecessarily out. Sirius ground his teeth. Calmer, but just as serious, "You can't just ignore this James, you-"

"One more thing." James spoke over him with absolute firmness. "One more suspicious or questionable thing he knows or does – one more thing and we'll confront him." It wasn't an actual claim of solidarity, despite the use of 'we.' They all knew it would be Sirius doing the confronting. James was only giving his permission, not agreement. Sirius' lips compressed, but he whirled away without a further word. Remus looked equally unimpressed – compromise rarely pleased any party.

Watching Sirius turn away in thwarted fury, Remus scowl in festering bitterness – he hated being in the middle of them. It was becoming like walking a tight rope between them, Sirius' suspicions and Remus' defensiveness with lingering dark undertones. Both steeped in darkness, each murmuring caution of the other. As if it was just a matter of time before one went too far.

He got chills at the thought.

No, he knew Sirius and Remus too well. They were both loyal and they would never betray themselves to dark magic, never betray him – even if others tried… And Harry, despite his secrets or perhaps because, he could tell, was just like them.

And in his consoling thoughts, he quite overlooked the rat.

* * *

Harry hated the Hospital Wing.

He hated the white walls, the stale silence, the restriction to bed rest, the fussing of Pomphrey, the fact he'd spent far too much time locked within its walls, the isolation it put him in as he was left to imagine how his latest 'stunt' was being dissected by the entire school.

Most of all, he hated the fact he felt like hell most of the time he was there.

Yet, considering above dissection, he was not really inclined to leave the Hospital Wing, for say, the rest of the year. He'd already gone through the revelation of him being a Parselmouth once and it hadn't been pretty. Then again, there had already been rumors floating around because of the random attacks and dark magic – not that this time was devoid of those.

What made it worse was he couldn't really gauge the Marauders' reaction, which mattered the most to him. They hadn't been there when he'd first awoken, but it had only been briefly – basically just enough for Pomphrey to slip him some nasty-tasting potions and ask a few very basic questions. The second time, they'd been there, James and Remus, almost defiantly, crowding around him. Sirius had been off a ways and Peter wasn't in eyesight – at least one good result of the whole mess.

They'd been sympathetic, asking how he felt and apologizing over what happened. He kept waiting for the question, 'Why the hell are you a Parselmouth?' or even some kind of interrogation over why he hadn't told them – but none came.

And finally he'd done it for them after the fourth 'Are you sure talking isn't too strenuous for you?' (Remus of course, and to be honest, it actually was painful, but he was hardly going to send them away.)

"I found out four years ago," he blurted out, his knuckles whitened, clutching his bed sheet. Remus and James froze, but Sirius' eyebrow went up in interest.

"How?" James finally asked quietly.

"There was a fake dueling match with M-another kid," he caught himself from the nervous slip and licked his lips. "He accidentally," accidentally his arse, "conjured up a snake and I told it not to attack anyone when it was threatening and no one understood what I said though I didn't realize that at the time and then I found out what a Parselmouth was actually." His ribs spasmed at the nervous rambling, but he fisted his hand tighter.

"You had no idea before that?"

He shook his head at Remus, before reconsidering. "Well I talked to a boa once before then, but I didn't realize there was anything really peculiar about it."

Three identical stares.

"Doing magic period is weird in the Muggle world, remember?" he flushed.

James gave his head a little shake as if to change the subject. "Well, it's not like you can help it." A slight eye slide to Remus. "If you have it, it's, it's not like you can help it."

It was poor consolation, but Harry searched his face for sincerity and James, ever one to feed off attention, straightened his shoulders.

"What you are born with or grow up with," he said more strongly, "is not as important as the choices you make." Hazel met green and Harry knew James believed that. Remus nodded stiffly as well.

Harry sighed before smiling weakly. He sounded so much like Dumbledore. "I wished it worked out that easily." And unconsciously, a hand stole up to rub his scar as his eyes slid shut for a second.

Sirius' eyes lasered in at the sight, but all Harry knew was that Remus had immediately exclaimed that they were tiring him and they should go.

It hadn't served to really answer his questions. James was being optimistic, Remus empathetic, and Sirius, from his silence, most likely pessimistic. But he had no idea for how long that would last or exactly how deep it ran.

"**The choices you make."**

He shook off the slight chill those words inspired. What would his father think of his choices?

Outside of the Marauders, he could only conjecture how the school was responding. If their whole mission had indeed been to re-establish the status quo, he'd officially wrecked any chance of that happening. Slughorne and Ransdale would no doubt be even more intrigued and puzzled by this latest revelation – it wasn't everyday a non-pureblood started speaking Parseltongue. He wasn't looking forward to chats with either of them.

So surely staying in the Hospital Wing was his best bet.

Except it wasn't.

* * *

He was dozing, lost in the space of the unwell between alertness and actual capitulation to healing rest. But the voices crept through the curtain, to prod at his tired brain.

"We'd like to see Harry."

"He's not up for visitors at the moment."

The voices fuzzed and he turned his head – it wasn't Marauders.

Not Marauders? Then who would want to see him?

He yawned and blinked his eyes open, wincing in the bright light.

"…only a few minutes." Insistence.

"Yes ma'am, it would hardly be for long." This voice was different from the other, silky smooth and beguiling. Like a – snake.

His eyes snapped open. Slytherins? What the-?

"No," for once in his life, Harry fervently thanked his lucky stars for Pomphrey's implacable concern for those under her care. "Perhaps if you came back tomorrow."

Damn it.

* * *

The scene the Marauders walked in on the next day was hardly expected.

For one thing, Harry was out of bed. (Remus was scandalized by that alone.)

Secondly, he was arguing – even though his right hand was betrayingly tucked to his ribs, his left in a tightly bound sling.

Thirdly, fourthly, and – well there were really too many points why this was completely wrong – he was arguing with Madame Pomphrey to be let out of the Hospital Wing! ('Can you even do that?' whispered Peter to James.)

"Absolutely not Mr. Patterson – and if you don't get back into bed-" Her face began to curl into the oddly menacing expression it always got when her patients came close to breaking her rules.

"Staying here is not going to make me heal up any faster than I would in Gryffindor Tower," it sounded like a point that had been repeated frequently, given the stubborn set of Harry's jaw. "You said yourself all I need is bed rest and my potions at their correct times-"

"Completely undisturbed bed rest, coordinated potion treatment, and proper re-application of your bandages," Pomphrey ticked off sharply.

"All of which can be done in Gryffindor Tower," he turned. "Right guys?"

Startled at the sudden incorporation, they were taken about for a minute, but as Harry's pleading gaze fell on Remus, the werewolf couldn't help some empathy.

"It is possible," he said tentatively. James shot him a look and they exchanged brief nonverbal communication. James' jaw tightened.

"Do you really want to leave the Hospital Wing?" he asked Harry.

"I'd feel much," Harry paused, "better if I could be in Gryffindor Tower. And the ability to recuperate is greatly increased in a setting conducive to healing and personal comfort." The pause was marked, but unable to be deciphered – the plea in his eyes and voice (and big words) however…

"This is absurd! The Hospital Wing was constructed for this very purpose-"

"If we guarantee his continued care where he's comfortable," James put in, giving his head a respectful tilt. "Would you allow him to leave?"

Pomphrey looked ill-pleased. Fixing a look on Harry, her frown deepened.

"You absolutely swear you will stay in bed?" she finally asked.

Harry nodded vigorously. "And I will make sure to take all my potions appropriately."

Pomphrey shook her head, muttering under her breath. "Fine," as Harry's face brightened, she held out a cautionary finger, "but if I hear the slightest report or see the faintest sign this isn't working-"

"I'll be back here in a heartbeat," Harry swore. His hand pressed more strongly at his ribs, belying his conviction. Pomphrey's eyes narrowed.

"So how are you suggesting getting him to the Tower?" Sirius idly asked. Remus bit his lip.

"He's not in a condition to make the trip, is he?"

Pomphrey muttered again under her breath, but didn't seize the opportunity to nix the agreement. "There's a certain spell for transporting patients-"

"_Mobilicorpus_?" James suggested just a little too quickly. Pomphrey eyed him severely.

"That is correct, but I believe that Mr. Lupin should perform the spell." Remus compressed his lips to keep from smirking.

"How soon are we taking him?" he asked instead.

"Not until I've thoroughly checked him. And given you the potions and the schedule and showed you how to properly dress his wounds – oh this is-" she fussed.

"I, we can take care of it," Remus soothed, coming to stand by her. James nodded behind him, but Sirius rolled his eyes.

"It's not like we have no experience-" James shot him a sharp look and he stopped his muttering. Bringing up their 'experience' was unwise in front of both Harry and Madame Pomphrey – though for obviously different reasons.

And accordingly, Pomphrey fixed him with a chilly look, but she just motioned to Harry. "On the bed."

Dutifully he did so, but the glow of early release was apparent.

"I can't believe Pomphrey's agreeing to this," James muttered. Even after all these years, they had problems sometimes springing Remus free after full moon nights. Then again, Pomphrey had a rather special concern for her most frequent patient.

"Well, it's Harry," Sirius said acidly. "He can do all sorts of impossible things."

James frowned at the tone, but couldn't dispute the words.

Harry was shaping up to be a true magician.

* * *

Floating was a really odd experience.

It was completely different from flying. At least in flying, you still had some kind of support – your broomstick. But floating – there was nothing. He wasn't controlling his own movement at all either, another rather alarming feature. It made him doubly grateful Remus was in charge of the spell, especially after James and Sirius made 'suggestions' of having some fun with his floating form. Considering his injured state, he was reasonably sure the bouncing him off walls and ceilings were jokes, but still…

Although now, he was wishing they were still making such suggestions. Instead, under the pretext of making sure the way was clear, James and Sirius were huddled in front of them, speaking in an undertone that he couldn't pick up.

It was enough to make a new Marauder nervous.

Finally, Sirius broke away.

"Tailfeathers, you are an idiot." The hairs on the back of Harry's neck rose and he quickly looked at Remus.

"Moony," he whispered worriedly, "did Sirius just call James an idiot?"

Remus gazed straight ahead. "I'm sure it's nothing."

Peter looked at him disbelievingly. "Prongs?"

The next instant, James bounded back in front of them. He addressed Harry.

"I have to just go and set up the Tower okay?"

Harry's eyes widened and he waved a hand uselessly. "But-"

"Padfoot" James' clapped the other boy who'd come up on the back "will take care of you." And with a bright smile, James disappeared down the corridor.

Harry swallowed.

"He's not planning something, is he?"

Sirius gave an innocent wide-eyed look. "What would make you think that?"

* * *

His arrival was relatively uneventful – it was just about dinnertime so the Tower was empty thankfully. Despite his insistence in being there, he was still dreading the Gryffindors' response to his 'gift.' Floating up into their dormitory, James had apparently been as good as his word – Harry's bed was fully decked out with pillows and blankets and his night table had been cleared off. However, noticeably, James himself was missing. Waving away his pointed questions, Sirius told him to lie down and the others set about making him comfortable.

Then, with a promise to bring him some real food from dinner, they left him alone.

And despite his feeling of foreboding, Harry drowsed. Even floating, the transport had worn him out.

* * *

"Wakey, wakey Flighty." Harry yawned, blearily opening his eyes.

"Wha' time iz it?" he slurred.

"Time to come down to the common room." Harry blinked again. Sirius was grinning. Why was Sirius grinning?

Still, he let the bigger boy carefully draw him out of bed. Out of habit, he grabbed his wand from the nightstand. Leaning heavily on Sirius, Harry realized Remus and Peter were by his other side. Remus had his arms crossed and didn't look pleased. James was nowhere to be seen.

"Sirius, we promised complete bed rest-" Sirius started to shrug, but caught himself before the motion disturbed Harry.

"It'll only be for a few minutes Moony."

"What is this about anyway?" Remus took the suspicious question from Harry's mind.

Sirius smirked. "You'll see."

Together, they maneuvered to the door and then slowly down the stairs.

"Maybe I should levitate him again-" Remus started worriedly when there was a sudden cry from downstairs.

"YES ladies and gentlemen, girls and boys, this is truly a gift! Indeed rarer than a Crumble-Horned Snorkack, this could be the very thing you need!"

"Oh no," Remus groaned.

They reached the curve of the stairway. Below them, the common room was filled with students, all surrounding the table by the fireplace – on which James was elevated, decked out in his bright Quidditch robes overlain with a bright green sash. He swept into a crouch and smiled charmingly at the second year girl before him.

"Having trouble with snake Transfiguration homework? Need some extra venom antidote for Potions? Want to score some bonus points with snake knowledge for Care of Magical Creatures?" He sidled up to a brunette forth year and winked. "Trying to find another way to impress that girl you like?"

Harry's face was rapidly losing its color.

James whirled up and made a grand gesture to the stairwell. "Harry is your man!" he crowed.

The crowd turned and dimly, Harry registered the banner floating above James' head, bright green and framed with a smiling, cartoon snake.

**The Snake Whisperer.**

He blinked and suddenly James was carefully hoisting up a lime green garden snake. "Have anything to say?" he asked brightly.

Several things then happened at once. James stiffened, the banner above his head abruptly stopped floating to the shrieks of a few of the girls, and Harry practically collapsed against the wall closest, still clutching his wand.

Remus responded to the last.

"I knew this was a bad idea," he mumbled, immediately hoisting Harry's good arm over his shoulders. His eyes went to Sirius who had started laughing. "Oh go help James."

Harry didn't speak until he was back to the bed. "I can't believe he did that." He sounded dazed and Remus shook his head.

"He's an idiot, even Sirius said so."

* * *

Below, Sirius plowed through the crowd and pulled the banner off his best mate. "Told you it was a dumb idea," he said brightly, tugging James up by the collar. James glared at him.

"And that should tell you something coming from him," an acidic voice intruded, pushing through the slowly dispersing crowd. Lily was beside herself, green eyes flashing. "Honestly, are you a complete idiot?" She prodded James' chest, forcing him back a step. "Harry's not like you – he doesn't want this!" she gestured wildly. "And you, his friends," she was working herself up even more, "insensitive morons!" James opened his mouth, but choked and with a huff, Lily turned on her heel. Sirius whistled.

"You certainly picked a fireball Prongs. Think she likes him?"

James turned to Sirius with a furious glare and pointed to his mouth. Sirius grinned.

"Cat got your tongue?" At James' unamused look, he snorted and muttered a countercurse. James stretched his jaw and wiggled his tongue.

"Thanks." He fixed his best friend with a dark look. "And why didn't you help me before?" he asked sharply.

Sirius shrugged. "Told you was a dumb idea – and," he paused, a calculating look coming into his eyes. "wanted to see what he would do."

James just scowled.

It was at that point a brunette forth year asked a very good question.

"Hey where did the snake go?"

Sirius and James looked at each other.

"Oh hell."

* * *

"I can't believe he did that, I mean I know he's an insensitive jerk, but really-" At the sight of Harry's cringe as her volume went up, Lily stopped and took a deep breath. It was her first time getting to really see him – a supervised visit to the common room later in the day. Due to James' little spectacle, everyone knew he was back. Some, like Lily and Marna, had wanted to say hi and see how he was doing. The others, well, James' spectacle had actually helped with that – they were too busy gossiping over it to be terrified of him being a Parselmouth. For the time being.

"Honestly, this whole business is nonsense. So you're a Parselmouth; I'm Muggle-born and we're friends," at her pointed look he nodded quickly. "If people decide to treat us like lepers that shows they have problems, not us." He marveled at her resolve, even if it did echo so many of those he knew – Dumbledore, Hermione, Ron, Remus, James…

"You sound like James," he couldn't help saying it and she blinked. "He said someone's choices matter more than what you're born with or have to deal with," he volunteered, reading the confusion in her eyes.

The wisdom caught her off-guard and she gave a half-shrug. "Yes, well, would you like to go to Hogsmeade?"

This time he was the one blinking.

"Hogsmeade?"

"Well, I know it's this weekend and that's really soon and agh, you're still supposed to be on bed rest-" she babbled, her brow furrowing as she began to talk herself out of the offer. He stared at her.

"You're asking me to go to Hogsmeade with you?"

Something rang like a five-story fire alarm in his head – she wasn't, she wasn't – it couldn't be –

"It wouldn't be a date," she said hurriedly. "Marna and Evelin and I are planning to go together – Kalista has a date – and it'd be fine if you'd want to come along. If you're up to it."

They looked at each other and finally Harry smiled, not a huge smile, but a real smile.

"That would be great."

It was only when she walked away that Harry realized James was going to kill him. But it was his mother – how could he say no?

Besides James so owed him.

* * *

Um, bonus points to anyone who can figure out what curse Harry used – and why it's actually really improbable.

Thanks so much all of y'all!!

As, iron woman, smidgwidgie, saraHubert, Hiya!, Booklover16, theeternitycode, walker-of-the-shadow-path, Charlie, HPFAN, A Lonely Kitsune, slayerette0, Nyleve, dare2dreamdare2love, Anna, benign intent (lol), Siriusly Odd, Alyss33, So Yun, deuil.bougie (LOL!!), kisabestfriendforever, kawaii-rini **(giddiness - I totally know what you mean)**, Yabberli (love the name), shadow, mellyD28, Hoeun (hah! You're using my --!), hp nerd, Aldavinur, MdnightRose, amour de vin, tran, falcongirl386, t5, Tmctflyboy, CrystalMind, LadyOfTheGreyDawn, Shuichi luva, hp lover, piperpowerofthree14, FlameOfIllumination, Fate, Miss Carrots **(eyebrows can still be black)**, rekahneko, blackwolfgirl88, Question Mark, Murphyangel, Starlit jewel, Ceran Misanthe (Lily – thanks for the idea!), Marlene, parseltonge girl, Irian, TheWizardingWorldsLastHope, cheekymonkey1994, elodrie!!, Drew, Marauder Madness **(werewolf stuff will be coming later)**, RisenFirePhoneix, Glamrockprincess, baka-onna2003, VacantVisage, Sabrina (LOL!), Willow Ann Rover, Sage **(um, I'm not working on whatever fic you're talking about so I have no idea…)**, m-girls, Puella, anonymous.individual, smileenov **(interesting threat – locked up with Pettigrew, shudder)**, Cindy Snowflake, rosalily, kirallie, Lathea!!, Vobi, Kilara16, Melfster **(gotta a while 'til conclusion – just getting to October!)**, sweet-babie-phoenix, Lupin123 **(glad someone's reading my a/ns!!)**, Kara Adar, DaisyAnimeluvr (thanks for compliment!), panick, Dragon Rider22, Shadow's Darkest Depths, braindead, Utena-Puchiko-nyu **(Argentina?! Sweet!! Any other internationals out there?), **Petitio PrincipiiStaplersBreak (LOL!!)shadow capper, odonata617, cheekymonkey1994, Hamstanator (LOL, sjdhabsouighasriguahlgjnbrfg CLIFFHANGER!), Sister of Death, WitchVelaLady Gallatea Ravenclaw, Serena Gemini (LOL)sukanya, imakeeperacidtrippy, asdfjkl;, furubafan92A Marked Propensity (thanked me!!)Centra-gal86 (love this kind of thing – there's one vote for cliffhangers)A Marked PropensityLazy-Hime (you thanked me!)Master Mono, Salena Snape, harryandginnyfourever, whateva, Moonlit Dreaming, MySite, Cloud Spinner, i'm a misfit, Nicolet, lily, cheerful-pinkstar, Gu-Brath-Faolbutterflea340, Morath Isil Durunya, caterpillar, Serpent91, Nosi (thanks for the compliments!), Jamie Leigh, samyjoc, ochibi-chwan, utahtoken, pyrofreeze, poke-me-im-strange, CursedShadows **(cookie received, hope hair still there!)**, Dadaiiro (wait & see!), crystalbladedragon, Hiei-Rulez **(a Grim - creative threat)**, LaughableBlackStorm, Nessa19, killjoy, Jaeden, Fk306 animelover, RandomRecorders, Cheelalaucha, Alixa Elizabeth Hufflepuff, stacye, ThEiNsAnEoNe, MissPanther (5 hours? Woah…), Juxtathought **(evil incarnate? Oy!)**, Lils, xcloudx, Gioia, Lady Potter of Tortall, Nights Silhouette, forgotten-magick, Seadrance, SilverJadlyn, Shiruba Fokkusu, beauty0102, Von, SwiftShadow, Airealataiel, Bookworm622, pandas rule the world - (**no visitors**!), gothlyssa - :))))), Kookies 'n Kreem – **(actually, technically it was dinner… and I love being yelled at & then congratulated, lol. And um, are Kookies and Kreem dual personalities?)**


	22. A date? Oh dear!

**Please read Author's Notes, I know they're long, but I really try to take time to untangle confusion, drop hints, and throw in some extra humor – like this mini-Snape scene below…**

Aww, people are so ready to lambaste poor James! Honestly, the poor lad really doesn't realize just how jerky his actions are. To Von, he _wasn't _sneering – just like how telling Remus how great it would be to be a werewolf and listing the traits wouldn't be meant sneering. Of course, his sincerity kinda makes it just worse… and honestly, the whole point is that James just doesn't totally understand Harry.

* * *

Now, what happened to the snake – you guys got rather creative about this loose end, but honestly, I _didn't_ really plan it out, so let's just say:

"**Where did the snake go?"**

**Just then, somewhere in the left side of the common room a certain girlish scream rang out.**

**It was the scream of the Head Boy. Sirius and James looked at each other.**

"**Oh hell."**

-But that would put our two poor Marauders in mega-detention and not in Hogsmeade, which would be rather problematic so just think a girl found it.

* * *

- And now what you've been waiting for…

–bing, bing, bing! We have a winner! Two actually, both forgotten-magick and Dragon Rider22 correctly picked out the spell, with Dragon Rider22 citing the reason (partially) why it was implausible. (And Dragon Rider22 – LOL!! on the empathetic snake!) So the spell: Langlock – it magically glues one's tongue to the roof of the mouth. It's improbably because not only did Harry learn it during his sixth year, but it was invented by, dun dun duh, the Half-blood Prince himself.

Honestly though, can't you just see Severus coming up with that just to shut up 'Potter'?

"**Potter was babbling once again about something and the whole world seemed attentive. Severus had always longed for the day, for the moment to finally shut him up for just even one whole minute. He sneered and then, finding a strategic position, cast his very brand-new spell. Potter caught in mid-speech. His eyes widened and his hands went to his mouth. Black was immediately at his side, with the d- werewolf close behind.**

**Severus snickered for the rest of the day while the 'Marauders' holed up in the library, finding a countercurse no doubt. They most likely would, unfortunately they were not dense in every single way, but for the moment, the expression of pure shock on **_**his**_** face (and of course frantic arm flailing), his crowd's amusement, and the silence (blessed silence) was enough for Severus."**

It's so perfect! Actually, considering that _Levicorpus_ got around, it's possible _Langlock_ got around as well (without knowledge it was Severus' spell) and so Harry could've picked it up. Thus, Sirius will not be harping on the usage of it.

* * *

Close-close tie: ashez2ashes (who e-mailed me!! Thanks!!) – "If reviews were guns, you could totally take over a third world country." ROTFL!!

Runner-up: Ava Monroe – "This poor kid is going to need a year to recover from his year out." LOL!

And now...

* * *

Hold Me While I'm Here-

A Date? Oh Dear!

* * *

There was one obstacle Harry hadn't expected in his plan to get to Hogsmeade.

He'd expected James.

(James had turned bright red when he heard of Lily's invitation. Harry had judged it better to be upfront to minimize possible fallout, particularly because the others were planning on staying with him instead of going into Hogsmeade. He tried to present it as a way for them to get out of those duties, but well… It was Lily. Thankfully, before James could pitch a complete fit, Remus had underscored how NOT James' business the whole outing was, especially considering his little Snake Whisperer scheme. James was now both sulking and not speaking to Harry, which actually worked out very well, considering Harry was technically not speaking to him either.)

He'd somewhat anticipated Sirius.

(Actually, he'd ended up completely wrong on this count, an annoying new trend for him. Sirius had actually agreed with Remus, thus James' reversion to sulking. This was only after breaking into uncontrollable laughter for almost five minutes though. Harry had the strange feeling it stemmed from something he wasn't aware of, a suspicion only furthered by Remus and Peter's strange looks. But honestly, this only helped his plan.)

It was Remus.

After the werewolf had roundly shut down James and gotten Sirius' support, he promptly turned back to Harry and said simply, "We swore complete bed rest to Pomphrey."

James and Harry had both been dumbfounded.

But once again, surprising Harry to no end, Sirius had actually argued his case to Remus, citing Flighty's rapid recovery, the bad situation of cooping them all up on Saturday, and something he only whispered to the other. Harry, on his part, absolutely swore he'd come find them at the slightest flare of pain and that he would minimize movement at much as possible, not to mention pulling a slight guilt trip over the fact this was his 'first' of 'limited' opportunities to visit the pure-wizard town.

"Pomphrey's going to kill you," Remus finally said, giving in, though Harry really had to wonder about the little whispered conference.

(Actually, Sirius' whole show of support unnerved Harry, almost as much as his lack of reaction to Harry's cursing of James on Thursday. The only reason he could reason behind the little signs of solidarity was some kind of larger plan – perhaps even to undermine James' present support for Harry. It was enough to make a secret-keeping Marauder very nervous.)

After Remus finally settled on Harry's liberation, he'd even agreed to show Harry specifically how to get out of the castle on Saturday. Remus would've preferred to just give Harry the Marauder's Map, but Sirius had been adamant about that remaining a secret from the newest inductee and James had reluctantly agreed.

So 'Operation: Flying the Coup' was underway.

* * *

Harry's first thought on seeing Lily was how odd it was to see her against the backdrop of Hogsmeade – another place he knew from memories that simply didn't, couldn't include her.

The second was 'Why is she alone?'

He slowed down a little. Lily was waiting just next to _The Three Broomsticks _as agreed, but instead of companions, she was accompanied by crossed arms and a frown. Her gaze swept over those around her and finally came to rest on him. He dredged up an uneasy smile walking up to her, but her frown decreased only slightly.

"Hi Harry," she said with a sigh. He looked both ways as if her other dormmates would just apparate.

"Hey Lily. Um, where are-"

"Busy apparently," the way she growled it out made him pretty sure it wasn't completely accurate – or something she agreed with. Sighing, she straightened her shoulders and forced her frown away. "Well, you haven't been to Hogsmeade before, right?" He relaxed slightly as she became friendlier, stubbornly refusing to consider any possible conclusions that could be drawn.

"Uh, not really." In his mind, he made the continuation that eased his guilt from 'lying' all the time – he hadn't been to _this_ Hogsmeade before, and the one he'd been to was technically over fifteen years _after_ this point of time.

She smiled at him. "Hogsmeade's really cool because it's the only pure wizard town in Britain; we don't have to hide anything here, which I'm sure you can appreciate as much as I do." She started to walk and he followed, getting the amusing feeling she was about to become a tour guide for him. Not that he needed it, but it was kinda – sweet. "This is _The Three Broomsticks_," she gestured, "almost everyone goes here, especially guys since they just love to flirt with Madam Rosemerta, the barmaid," she stopped suddenly. He pulled up short and his ribs protested. Reflexively his hand gripped them. "I'm sure you'll be here smuggling butterbeer some time with the-" her good-natured teasing suddenly cut off when she noticed his hand on his ribs. "Are you okay?"

Teeth gritted, Harry forced a grin. Like pain was really going to get in the way of finally (!) spending time with his future mother. "I'm fine." She raised an eyebrow and he had the bad feeling a very Pomphrey-like lecture was upcoming. "I am. Got checked out by the guys this morning and everything." She still didn't look convinced and he had to wonder if bringing up the Marauders as authorities was really a good idea.

"You should be in bed," she muttered uneasily. "I mean, it was just Tuesday-"

"Look," he stopped that train of conversation as quickly as he could. "I really don't want to be stuck in the Dorm with a bored Sirius and brooding James. I would much rather be here in Hogsmeade." She bit her lip and he threw out the clincher with a shyer grin. "Limited chances, right?"

She sighed and he had her. He forced his face not to register the accomplishment. "Okay, but if you-"

"-feel the slightest bit of pain that could possibly signal serious strain, I will tell you." He recited. She stared and then had to smile.

"I'm guessing you've had to make that promise a lot lately?" she asked dryly and he returned the smile. "Okay," she turned back on her heel, red hair shifting. "You just better keep it."

His ribs shifted painfully. "Of course," he assured her.

They started to walk as she continued the tour, pointing out _Zonko's _and _Gladrags Wizardwear_, before she paused once more, thankfully this time just verbally. "The guys really let you out easily?"

"Easily?" he snorted. "Remus took nearly half-an-hour to convince and James, of course-" he caught himself, eying her unsurely. She knew about James and he was more than aware of just how well she'd taken his attempts to show 'affection.' But it was still beyond strange discussing his future father's crush to his future mother, even if it was on her. Not to mention the fact he really, really didn't want to mention any perception of a date in the slightest sense. This wasn't a date. It couldn't be. "well, he's, uh, brooding," he hedged lamely, sticking with what he'd already divulged.

She bit her lip again and if he hadn't known their relationship better, he would think she was embarrassed. However, he knew better.

"Poor Potter," she muttered sarcastically and kept walking.

Harry sighed.

How the heck had James gotten past this?

* * *

"That's not really subtle," Remus commented. James ignored him from his position peeking through the window of the cluttered _Dervish and Banges _window front, just as he'd been ignoring all other verbal taunts since Lily had appeared outside _The Three Broomsticks_.

"I don't think he's going for subtlety," Sirius commented idly, starting to show signs of boredom. He picked up a broken – something, with a lot of bells and metal switches. Why couldn't James have chosen to stake out someplace like _Honeydukes_, instead of some stupid junk shop? He fiddled with the thing and abruptly all the bells started going off. James nearly jumped out of his skin as the contraption fell on the floor.

Remus rolled his eyes. "_Silencio!_" he hissed. He shot a sour look at the Black boy. "I can't take you anywhere." Sirius gave a shrug and scooping it off the floor, replaced the item slightly more gingerly than he'd picked it up.

James resumed his hunched position. "Would you two be quiet?" he said. "We don't want to be thrown out."

Peter actually perked up at the idea and Sirius could guess the chubbier boy had been having similar thoughts to himself. "Oh, c'mon Prongs, you can visually stalk dear Lilykins from some other store."

"I'm not stalking her."

Three pairs of eyes rolled in sync at the petulant response.

Remus sighed. "We've been over this Prongs. After the stunt you pulled-"

James finally pulled back from the window, making sure to keep the smiling, smiling!, pair in his line of sight. "I still don't see what was so wrong, I just wanted to show people it wasn't so," he gave a shrug, "ominous a gift. Besides, it would've cheered me up."

Sirius' lips pursued sourly, but Remus answered instead, giving a casual glance around the store. "Beyond how abnormal and not like Harry at all you are in that respect…" Never a real hotspot, the repair store was all but empty, the proprietor busy looking over something a third year Hufflepuff had just brought in. Satisfied, Remus turned back. "James, if my secret got out and you brought in cute little wolf cubs to show that me being Moony wasn't so bad," Peter snickered, "I would've done a lot worse to you." Despite Remus' ever mildness, James could read the seriousness in his sharp eyes.

Sirius actually laughed. "Don't give him ideas Moony."

James scowled.

"Besides," Remus didn't allow him time to rebut. "You don't honestly think Harry wants to date her?" James stared at him. "I mean he hasn't said anything about it, shown any signs of crushing or been anything less than sympathetic to your attempts to get her to agree on a date," Remus ticked off. James was still staring.

Sirius flashed his teeth mockingly.

"Watch it Moony. You might make his mind melt from the thought of someone not wanting to date the Lily Flower."

James' face turned into a glower and he turned back to the window. But Sirius just couldn't resist…

"Besides, who said Harry was the one wanting to date?"

* * *

They were almost at the end of High Street when Harry spotted a certain distinctive head of hair peeking from the window of _The Hog's Head_. He slowed to a stop, lightly tapping Lily's arm. "Hey, isn't that Marna?" Lily stopped and instantly the curly brown hair disappeared.

He glanced back to the red head just in time to see her face cloud over. "I can't believe them," she growled. "I can't believe it, those little sneaks!" Her eyes fell to Harry, registering his puzzled look, and she flushed.

"I thought you said they were busy?" he asked hesitantly. As her flush deepened, something very cold and hard (strangely like one of Hagrid's biscuits) dropped into his stomach. He felt himself break out in a cold sweat. This wasn't a date, this wasn't a date, she'd said so herself! And, and, it wasn't a date – suddenly he realized just how trivial the Patil sisters' mother batting her eyes at him really was.

Taking a deep breath, she took a step back. "Um, I was hoping not to get into this," she muttered. "I'm guessing you figured out what's happened."

Harry felt panic beginning to bubble and he desperately tamped it down.

Lily blinked. He looked just like Petunia after her sister had found out she'd eaten a –magical- Bertie Bott's 'jelly' bean.

"Harry, are you alright?" That shade of white just couldn't be healthy. "Are you sure your ribs are okay?"

"Um please, Lily, uh just go on," he said, trying very hard to prevent his voice from cracking.

(Oh, I am evil)

* * *

James' face became plastered to the window. "What the hell is he doing?"

Sirius and Remus exchanged glances, but with a long suffering sigh, Sirius looked over his best mate's shoulder. "Looks like they're talking."

"They're too close!" James' paranoia was now at full throttle and he didn't care if the others knew it.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Hmm, rather tacky for a first date, but maybe she's gonna give him a kiss to make-"

James shot up before he could finish the goading statement. "SHE WOULDN'T!" Unfortunately, the move knocked Sirius into the nearest rack of items. It wobbled dangerously and Remus nearly had a heart attack. Instead, the messed up alarm system fell on the ground, bringing with it two other nearby companions.

And the _Silencio_ just wasn't enough to cut it.

Hands clapped over his ears, Remus jadedly watched James try to strangle Sirius, Peter whimper, and the proprietor swell like a bright red bullfrog.

"I can't take them anywhere."

* * *

"We were set up," Lily said simply, oblivious to the commotion in the sound-warded _Dervish and Banges_, still frowning as she glanced dubiously at his ribs. Walking around town couldn't be good for them – Harry obviously needed to rest.

Harry was pretty sure his heart stopped. And then re-started. He blinked. "Set up?"

Lily nodded. "Marna probably dragged Evelin into it," and the sheer annoyance of their stunt reasserted itself. "It's so ridiculous! Just because I don't date regularly or have a boyfriend, they just have to set me up with the next available male they see me talking to! I mean, sure, I invited you, but really, like I can't-" Harry felt a little light-headed still, as he still wasn't quite breathing normally and he decided to cut to the real point. And before he could really help himself, he blurted out the question.

"You just want me as a friend, right?" Not the most tactful way to put it, but really, knowing was better than not knowing. She bit her lip and he felt like cutting out his tongue. Ignorance bliss, his arse. He was such a moron… And unfortunately, his inward bashing cut off the first part of her answer.

"-you're a sweet boy really, but, you know-" she gave a little shrug and her cheeks tinted.

He was a complete moron. He tried to make sense of it, but the very thought – just threw him too off balance. He cleared his throat and pleaded with any time traveling protective power there might be. "That's a yes right?"

Lily slowly nodded and Harry nearly wobbled in relief. "That's, that's good," he said rather dazedly.

"Harry?" she asked concerned. "You need to sit down," she decided and started to look around. Oh why couldn't Hogsmeade have park benches?

"I'm fine really," he said, trying not to show his sudden utter relief. "I just – you just made my life a lot easier." She shot him a confused look and he couldn't help a smile. "I just think you'd make a good friend," he said reassuringly, realizing how offensive that could've sounded.

"Um, same here." She hadn't thought that he liked her – just glad to have someone who could understand how hard it was for him in the 'pure' wizard Hogwarts and trying to click with the 'Marauders'. But considering his reaction, she'd been starting to wonder…

She did think he would make a good friend. He seemed, well, grounded and just a tad shy, quite a bit like Remus when she'd first met him. And it wasn't like she didn't want to _like_ him, but she needed someone who would off-set her a bit more. Harry seemed so eager to please… And then there was something though, something that hinted there was more to him, something she couldn't quite put her finger on. A danger, a mystique she hadn't quite anticipated. It didn't scare her; he was too kind and obviously unassuming (unlike some people) for her to truly fear him. But it was enough to make her wonder…

There was also the fact he somehow reminded her of James Potter. It was infuriating because she couldn't figure out why. They didn't look alike and they could hardly be more different. Harry was quiet, Potter was loud. Harry was humble, Potter was practically a peacock. Harry was bookish, Potter was more interested in making trouble; granted Harry seemed to fall into it with astonishing frequency. Harry was secretive, James showcased all he had. And yet, when Harry grinned at her, all she could think of was James.

All the more reason to just have him as a friend.

"So we've agreed this is a non-date," Harry concluded briskly. Lily blinked, rousing from her thoughts. "So friends are definitely welcome?" The red head nodded.

"Though not completely forgiven," she added sourly.

"Good!" The suddenly lively look in his green eyes suddenly made Lily flash to James and she got a real bad feeling. Harry turned and waved. And suddenly Lily remembered just who Harry's friends were. "Hey Prongs!"

She swiveled. James, who'd been lolling on the corner outside of _Dervish and Banges_ alone with a even deeper brooding look than the one Harry had left him with, abruptly came to attention.

Lily stared, eyes widening. James stared, eyes widening. Harry waved again. "Prongs, come here!" He made a beckoning gesture. Lily would've protested, if she hadn't been in such a state of disbelief. He wasn't actually…

Okay, perhaps it wasn't the best idea, but at least this way he could get out of both pseudo-date mode (his stomach churned disagreeably) and match-make! With his peace-keeping presence of course.

James walked over, not quite sure why on earth Harry would include him in this, especially after the whole show of 'I'm not speaking to you' and 'I'm doing this with or without your approval.' Then his mood buoyed. Definitely not a date!

Lily crossed her arms. "When I meant friends," she muttered aloud – definitely hadn't had Potter in mind. James' grin wilted a little.

"Ah yeah Flighty?" he asked.

"What happened to the other guys?" James' cheeks flushed without permission and he chuckled self-consciously, hand going to his hair. After getting kicked out of the shop, the others had unanimously decided to leave him to his 'lovestruck idiotious stalkerishness,' as Sirius had put it. (He tended to become creative when naming James' different dispositions.) Thus abandoned, James had tried to 

covertly observe the pair before him. (Unfortunately, James' ability to willfully disappear into the background only extended to usage of a certain Invisibility Cloak.)

"Uh, you know them," he shrugged, "so much to do." Harry raised an eyebrow, but didn't press. He could always ask Remus later. "How are your ribs?" James asked, quickly changing the subject.

Lily, reminded of her concern, managed to stop glaring at him. "We were just saying he needed to sit down," she said, correctly guessing Harry was opening his mouth to brush off the concern.

Harry brightened. "_The Three Broomsticks_ would be perfect. Why don't we go there?" Lily glanced at James narrowly, who tried to grin winningly.

"Okay," she agreed, tossing her hair self-consciously and starting to walk. James let out a breath, his eyes fixed on her. Harry grinned.

"Don't look so glum," he chided, then prodded his future father. "Let's go."

And leaving James to wonder in consternation why the heck Harry was grinning.

* * *

It wasn't the best idea.

He'd known that.

What he hadn't known was that it was practically the worst idea he'd ever had.

Lily was watching James with narrow eyes, looking like a hawk just sharpening its claws, waiting for the mouse to make a really, annoying squeak. James, of course, wasn't a squeaker – but for an antlered deer, he was excitable. And if she kept staring at him like that, Harry had the bad feeling James was going to do something rash, just to justify the attention.

"So, um, what do you think of Slughorn?" Harry winced. In topics of conversation, that ranked just below weather as last resort conversation starters. Lily snorted.

"He's a good teacher, sometimes a little too arrogant," Lily didn't even take her eyes of James and the boy leaned back in his chair.

"That's all you have to say?" James asked, mocking surprise. "From a Slug Club member no less?"

Harry blinked. "Slug Club?"

James smiled as Lily flushed slightly, snapping his fingers. "Oh that's right, you wouldn't know. Slughorn likes to keep himself surrounded with famous and exemplary wizards and witches," Lily's blush deepened. "Dear Lily Flower happens to be the latter."

"I've asked you not to call me that."

Harry ignored the retort. "Even Muggleborn? Isn't he the Slytherin House Head?" The thought didn't fit, at all, and his brow furrowed.

Lily broke eye contract with James. "Professor Slughorn believes in a meritocracy," she said, a tad loftily, "ability means more than blood purity."

James' lips twisted. "Not completely," he muttered, but before Lily could make a retort, he went on, "Actually Harry, you'll probably be invited."

Harry froze. "Why?" Famous, ugh, he'd gone years into the past to escape that!

"Slughorn just loves students with special abilities and skills. Between the Slytherin incident," the boys' own oblique reference to the ambush, "and turning out to be a Parselmouth, the Slug is probably just drooling to sink his hooks into you."

Lily scowled at the description, but couldn't argue the point. Harry winced, fiddling with his napkin. "Is there any way to uh, tactfully decline?" James frowned slightly as he saw the slighter boy once again wanting to dodge the spotlight. He truly did not get Harry.

"I wouldn't ask Potter about tact," Lily said icily. "But honestly, the Slug Club is not that bad, you get to mix with all sorts of people from the other houses. It's quite interesting."

Harry looked up. Lily was in the Club. Lily. It would be an opportunity to spend time with her. But – that look in Slughorn's eye; he hated fame. "Maybe," he said doubtfully, then glanced at James. "Any of you guys in the Club?"

James shook his head, then flashed a self-deprecating smile. "He might've asked Sirius, but you know him–" Sirius join a club on his pedigree hosted by a Slytherin? Not a chance. "None of us are that fantastic in Potions anyways and I think he finds us more trouble than talent."

"Gee, I wonder why." Harry bit his lip; seeing them face off was surreal. They were his future parents! And they could barely exchange two civil sentences. Oy, he had a lot of work ahead of him. Though, he guessed they had figured it out on their own…

James put a hand to his chest, mock affronted. "My dear Evans," he steamrolled over the protest 'I'm not your dear!' "Believe me, we have far more talent than the trouble we may inadvertently get into. And not just where you may see it." Lily rolled her eyes at his lascivious wink.

Harry was in shock. His future father had not just made a lewd suggestion to his future mother, in front of him. No. It just wasn't possible.

Sure, and James hadn't tried to get him to speak to a garden snake to prove snakes and snake speakers were friends, not foes.

His stomach officially announced its appetite had resigned for the day.

"Please Potter, like I believe that."

They continued to banter and he had to practically staple his lips shut to stop the flow of (dare he hope?) flirting and insult-flinging.

"Um, what do you two want?" he suddenly cut in. Both looked up startled. Had they forgotten he was there?

"Butterbeer."

"Raspberry water."

James tisked. "So healthy Evans. Though I suppose for good reasons," his eyes almost reflexively ran down Lily's figure and Harry just about bolted like a jack rabbit on speed.

He wasn't sure leaving them alone at the table was the best idea, but if he bit his lip one more time, there was going to be major blood and they were going to notice that.

Ordering the drinks, he darted a look back at the table. They were still talking, James preening and Lily looking like she'd just sucked an Acid Pop – in other words, completely normal. Good. Hmm… dared he give them extra time? He drummed his fingers on the bar thoughtfully. Unconsciously he scanned the room, only to take a double take. Three very familiar heads were peering out from a certain booth, avidly watching scene playing out between the non-couple James and Lily.

His lips quirked. It wasn't that he had had any illusions about them not spying on him and Lily before, but watching Sirius, Remus, and Peter covertly scoping out his future parents was rather amusing. Especially seeing Sirius put his hand down flat with a daring grin, unmistakably challenging the others to a bet.

He snorted. He didn't think either would take him up on it – James was nothing if not predictable around Lily. And yet – Remus looked intently at the pair as Lily's laughter rang out. Harry's eyebrow rose.

Maybe that was changing?

* * *

"That's ridiculous Potter!" She tried to stay stern but it was an impossible task. The glower had given in to slightly disapproving amusement and treacherously, her lips were quirking.

He'd made her laugh. Really laugh, not mocking or derisive – but really laugh. He'd made her, Lily-The-Most-Beautiful-Flower-He'd-Ever-Seen Evans laugh.

James was euphoric.

His grin was dizzying. "Couldn't help it that her chair was too furry."

Lily smiled, giggling, and James was positive he could levitate. And he just couldn't contain himself-

"See? I'd be a much more exciting date than Harry."

And he'd overstepped his boundaries but he couldn't stop, not with the maddening rush of jealousy that rose like a green fog (like her eyes...) as she just stared at him, her smile turning down into an expression he was far more familiar with.

"I would and you know it and I know that-"

"Drinks are here!" Harry interrupted, seeing from even thirty feet away that yes, James was completely predictable. He balanced the tray with the two drinks carefully in his good hand.

Looking at the drinks, Lily wet her lips and James was officially lost to the world.

Therefore, it took him a minute for her next statement to reach him.

"Why thank you Harry. You're a very considerate date."

When it did register, James saw red.

"Oh yes," his tone furious and sarcastic, "let's hail the gentleman hero! Why don't you just run off with him into the sunset?"

It was so absurd, Harry actually felt like laughing, but for the lovely red shade Lily was turning to.

Lily's eyes turned into green fire. "You obnoxious, jealous nit," she grit out. "You utter-" she grabbed her drink from Harry and if he hadn't had his other arm in a sling, he would've grabbed it back because he had a very fair idea of what was going to happen next. Lily turned to James with cold fury. "Get a clue Potter. Harry and I are just friends, but I'd prefer a date with him or even, even" it only took a second to find the best choice "_Snape_ before you!"

Jumping to his feet, James actually met the cold splash midway, the raspberry water immediately drenching his torso and leaving him blinking. Harry winced.

"I'll see you later, Harry," Lily said in a surprisingly normal voice.

And with a disdainful huff to the other dripping boy, she spun on her heel and stalked off.

Harry just shook his head and stared at James.

Solemnly, he finally spoke as James grabbed some napkins and started patting himself off. "You just crash and burned." James scowled, but Harry could only re-play the last minute over again. "And I mean crash, and burned," his voice became reverent. "I've never seen someone do that badly. And that fast!"

"Oh shut up."

"I mean really, you just-" He was in awe. How on earth had James gotten past this?

"That's our Prongs," Sirius said far too cheerfully, thumping James on his thankfully dry back, as the other Marauders finally made their presence known. "Able to lodge his foot two feet down his throat in 30 seconds flat."

Remus shook his head, but couldn't help a laugh. "Really James, I think that was one of your most impressive flops yet."

James just huffed.

Peter eyed his sopping form carefully. "Maybe you shouldn't hit on her when she's near liquids," he suggested sincerely.

Harry met Sirius' eyes and it was all over. They just lost it.

James glared at them all, continuing to blot out his robes with napkins. Traitors.

* * *

Still good naturedly teasing each other, Peter was the first one to slip through the portrait hole – and the first to fall deathly silent.

"What's up Wormtail?" Sirius asked, following. "Uh-oh." The words were barely audible and the remaining Marauders looked at each other. Harry was the last to enter, helped in by James.

He turned to face a face that screamed 'Death!'

Okay, actually, it was more like utter fury and 'I'll make you better if I have to kill you to ensure it happens' – but Madam Pomphrey at that moment in time looked truly frightening.

"Uh-oh," he muttered under his breath.

Too furious to speak, the woman marched over to Harry and abruptly pushed aside his robes and wrenched his loose shirt up. A vividly crimson stain come into view on Harry's left side and the boys blanched. Remus bit his lip as Pomphrey glared at them all.

"I am taking you to the Hospital Wing and you are remaining there until I am COMPLETELY satisfied. Do I make myself clear?" she snapped. Harry nodded quickly. "And you will NOT be having any visitors!"

Sirius straightened at that, but Pomphrey merely narrowed his eyes and meekly, Sirius closed his mouth. Harry nodded again, just a trace of relief settling inside him. "_MOBILICORPUS_!" Not prepared, Harry flailed for a second, before balancing. And only able to exchange a quick sympathetic look, Harry floated out of the Common Room.

Pomphrey muttered all the way back to the Hospital Wing.

* * *

Alone in the common room, later that night, Remus nodded at a quiet Sirius. "So sorry your dastardly plan didn't work out."

Sirius had posed the opportunity to both punish James for idiocy and test how Harry would deal with this fall out with James. It wasn't the strongest of plans, but Remus could see the wisdom. Besides, he really did feel bad for Harry, cooped up in Gryffindor tower with the four of them…

"I don't get him." It was the first genuinely plain thing Remus had ever heard Sirius say about Harry. "I just, there's something there, I know there is." Still so fierce. "He's too, too in-sync or too out-of-it." Remus knew that frustration, trying to figure out, figure out, well, Harry. Sirius, stealing a page out of James' book, ran a hand through his hair. Their eyes meet and Remus could not deny the plea.

"I know." Sirius' face shifted and Remus wondered if he'd regret commiserating. "But - I don't think that makes him evil." He tried to smile teasingly.

Sirius' eyes narrowed.

"It makes him something though."

And he _was _going to find out.

Thank you reviewers!! And we got three foreign countries so far, sweet!!

lilyre and livvyg, BOOK FREAK, SECRET FAN OF MAKEBELIEVE, Sammy girl at heart, Lupin123 (yay! –smile-, read on and see!), Tmctflyboy, lovestoread, Cecilia (wait and see!!), dloh2oaths, hp nerd, samyjoc, Catwarrior :), vanchagreen, SlytheringRules, Aldavinur, Dark God Anubis, Dadaiiro, maltese-princess, purrbaby101 :), Wistful-Dreamer, DaisyAnimeluvr, BladeMaxwell-GoddessofDeath (um, if I was still reading them…), Centra-gal86, MissPanther, Opalalchemy (oooh, now there's a thought just brimming with potential…), MySite, kawaii-rini (reviewed?), Padfoot2446, beauty0102, Ellen-D,Nessa19 (Mexico!!), petites sorcieres (-evil cackle- Slytherins dumb, no possibly?), sweet-babie-phoenix (MAJOR shudder, ewww), So Yun, Lyra Waterflame, vik, Moonsign (-evil cackle-), Fk306 animelover, Murphyangel, Nights Silhouette, CrystalMind, Lita of Jupiter (Brazil!!), Moonlit Dreaming, Serpent91, Marauder Madness, Yuri1245 (Germany yay! and glad I can help!), Dellacouer (LOL!), claire franklin, Insanity at its Fullest, Hello.I'mMarySue, reader (thanks!), Yabberli, lyss33, Casey Butler, Alexis8907, PurpleMango2010, Nyleva (SHUDDER!), Ava Monroe (Thanks for the sympathy! Rebellious gumption, hmm…), Shiruba Fokkusu (animagus way down the line), fufu.a.k.a.speechless (Sirius like Ron, huh), Serena Gemini, Clovergirl22, SupportSeverusSnape, CSebastiene (lol about cookie sending! And CSebastiene, sit back and think – you survived, again!)

Okay: **TIMELINE** (thanks for asking, Lazy-Hime and MdnightRose) - - It's the first week of October, so Harry's been there for just over a month - I know, oy a lot happened! Harry was only in the Hospital Wing for roughly two days – I know again, amazing. And it's half-way through the moon cycle, so we'll be waiting a little more for Remus' 'big' reveal.

**NOTE: The ONLY pairings are J/L!! NO HARRY PAIRINGS!! Though Sirius & Remus may go on a date or two, SEPARATELY, as in with random girl(s).**

Special mention, for single funniest (long) line: WinterChanterelle – yes! "I hope (for his sake) that Harry will never be in the presence of Voldemort in this fic, because at this point in the general timeline I don't think there are many people who have faced him - and Harry's attitude (Hey Tom, so do you miss you Muggle father?) is bound to make him a bit, um, special." Aw, Harry is always special!


	23. Only a fool's delusions

NO SLASH! I do not support that and I do feel that JKR doesn't furnish support for, for instance Remus and Sirius – c'mon people they ended up both thinking each other was a traitor to Voldemort! They were friends, best mates even, but really. **NO Harry pairings!** He's in the PAST people, and it is disturbing thinking of him with anyone who'd be TWENTY+ years older than him in reality (That's only vaguely okay when you're like 30+) – and with Lily?! Don't get me started with the biological and chronological _issues!_ And as PREVIOUSLY stated, he will **NOT be having friends come back into the past** – not unless someone can furnish a _**very, very good**_ reason – too risky for Harry otherwise.

--**I REALLY WANT PEOPLE TO READ ABOVE AS PEOPLE KEEP ASKING THE SAME QUESTIONS. I HAVE ANSWERED, okay?--**

* * *

Sorry about minor lateness – my B-day did not turn into a working day, surprise, surprise.

Thanks to all my reviewers!!

asdfjkl;, MdnightRose, sexyevilempress276, ashez2ashes (thanks! and oy, you really did think that through...), Estel Ashlee Snape, Smileyface3000, Tmctflyboy, Hoeun, HPFAN (ah, the map...), vla1diva, rekahneko, Brightsidetolife, Lady serinas (I love that assessment! honest too), Sushimob, Nuitherran (a tad angry at Sirius, are we? **"You enjoy writing your story as much as we enjoy reading it." I hope so!**), Boudicca Aturia (it's also, um, morally and biologically rather disturbing), Padfoot2446, sweet-babie-phoenix, Dancinglalaland, Nosi :), BladeMaxwell-GoddessofDeath, Clovergirl22 (**Snape and Lily? – EWWW!! –cough- Sorry, that was not foreshadowing, she was just going for what she knew would get to James**), cheekymonkey1994 (um, have to be more specific), petites sorcieres (-grin-), kawaii-rini (LOL! and yes, it's 'for shame!' – and hey, good stories get me giddy too. **LOL, thanks for sharing! I love that 'in an awesome british accent might i add' – don't we all wish!),** digi-writer1392, ValorOrgulloso, Dragon Rider22 (LOL!), Mysical2249, Lily Louisea (-sweatdrop- can't quite believe it either…), vaoni, Hawk Chic, numbah 1 HPFan, tyismyjugglo (love the bunny!), kasmo, Lazy-Hime, lemonwedges4, Teenlaunch, Latisha C, Catwarrior, Lyra Waterflame, iluvhappyendings, CrystalMind, TeahLeafs **(lol! ah! This is why I have to update quicker or people's thinking wheels go too fast, grrr…),** Nessa19, The Kunai (yay! –blush-), Twin Tails Speed, Murphyangel, forgotten-magick (-definite blush-), Latisha C, Azraeos, beauty0102, MySite, JaySnaps, Centra-gal86 (actually couldn't quite come up with any good lines), SlytheringRules (actually did, but yay! two reviews!), Nyleve, The Sapphire Goddess (woah – and good, I think…), stardog252, dare2dreamdare2love (merci! Non-blatant cliffhangers, er…), lyss33, Lathea, Angelwings23123, Gu-Brath-Faol (ah, the map –evil grin-), Nights Silhouette, Elodrie (thanks!), Moonsign, Aldavinur (No worries. **"Why is he always such an idiot around her?" –sigh- b/c immature boys are always prats around girls they like, especially 'preeny' boys around pretty girls**), MissPanther (Woo-hoo, Lebanon! Um, pray that you **keep safe**), Serpent91, I-want-to-fly, Alexis8907, Fate, purrbaby101 (lol), lilyre and livvyg (LOL!), Eriks leadinglady (-VERY guilty blush- LOL!! Action figures?! That's a new threat…), Hello.I'mMarySue, So Yun, Yabberli, claire franklin, Serena Gemini (well he was wearing robes over the shirt…), DaisyAnimeluvr, Ava Monroe (Harry really would know, wouldn't he?), Dellacouer, fufu.a.k.a.speechless, vanchagreen, Fk306 animelover.

Review of the week, from: A Fan (I love your review! LOL!)

"So many marauder stories are filled with fluffy clouds and bunny rabbets…I love that you haven't shied away from all their issues. Any group of close, strong-minded friends are going to have issues, adding a werewolf and family connections with the dark arts and it's going to be good!" Oh yeah!! And yes, the Peter hints, they really are a mind-job (I really couldn't resist)!

Nitte iz enters, wringing her hands. This chapter is so anticipated, almost nervous to post it. But here it is, what you have _all_ been waiting for –

* * *

Hold Me While I'm Here-

Only a fool's delusions

* * *

Harry was convinced if he didn't leave in the next five minutes, he was going to do something incredibly stupid – and most likely end up remaining in the Hospital Wing for another four days.

Four days!

Actually, considering his past records, four days wasn't that long a period, but…

He'd learned several things in the past few days.

One, Pomphery thoroughly enjoyed her wizard soap: _The Charming and the Wandless_. In fact, she enjoyed it so much that she didn't watch it once a day, but twice. (Apparently the wizarding world had solved the dilemma of recording T.V. before the muggle world.) This watching, both of them, quite engrossed Pomphrey to the point of dramatic declarations. "Oh no Pernicia don't go near him!"

The resemblance to Petunia was uncanny and he was positive he'd just been scarred for life.

Two, the need to discuss said soap apparently tormented Pomphrey – given the fact there was someone to discuss it with, overruling any residual silent anger (or perhaps she'd figured out this was far better punishment, hmm…), and he was forced to listen to her re-hash each episode. "Uh-hmm." "Oh that's terrible." "Yes, I have no idea why they won't let Valencia know her twin sister-" and so on.

If he heard the name Lothario one more time, he was going to be vomit. Violently. (Of course again, that would mean more time in the Hospital Wing, so he manfully controlled himself.)

Three, after this angry ice had been broken, Pomphrey had turned out to be quite talkative. Why he'd never been victim, er, witness to this before, was beyond his comprehension as she began regaling him with her quite-extensive life story. This also, of course, included each and every horrifying disease, accident, and mis-fired spell she'd ever come across.

On the sixth account of Burning-Hexes-Badly-Cast-Causing-Loss-of-Body-Parts, Harry was beginning to suspect Pomphrey really was far more vindictive than he'd ever realized.

Lastly, though, this confidence seemed to make Pomphrey feel that she was entitled to the same disclosure from him. Considering the amount of scraps he'd been in, this amounted to a sizable number, but she was particularly interested in the ugly 'gash' in his right inner arm and of course, the scar on his forehead.

It was at that point, Harry knew he had to get out, all slightly amusing (okay not at all at the time, but hindsight, far distant, hindsight would probably find the soap details funny) tortures aside.

By Wednesday, he was ready to walk up the walls. He was positive he was completely healed up, even if he did still wince a little going from a lying down to a sitting position, but that was nothing! Well, not nothing as it could mean another day in, in, well the various nicknames he'd come up with the Hospital Wing (some just repeats from his earlier visits) were none too complimentary and usually described a place only someone as wacked as Wendelin the Weird would enjoy. Harry froze. He'd just referenced a witch from _Binns' _class!

He had to get out of here.

* * *

"So, uh, clean bill of health, right?" Pomphrey finished looking him over, a small frown on her lips. Slightly panicking, Harry clapped a hand on his ribs. Unfortunately, he was a tad too enthusiastic and nearly knocked the wind out of himself. He grinned, eyes just a little shiny. "See! No pain!"

The elder witch's frown twitched, but she finally nodded and Harry could've kissed her – except ewww… Damn soaps.

"So I can go?" Harry didn't dare move, though his hands weren't too steady. She could still nix it, one more overnight or something.

"Yes, but if-"

"Believe me! I'll be completely and utterly health-conscious from this day forth!" It was a tad dramatic, but if reverting to James' tactics would get him out of the Hospital Wing, it was just what he had to do. He began inching to the door.

She eyed him. "Are you sure you don't want to wait for your friends?" Today had been the first time she'd loosened her strict no-visitors ban. Harry wasn't sure why, especially after James and Sirius had set off a ward she'd apparently set three days ago. Then again, she'd been in a much better mood after they'd operatically apologized. Harry winced internally. He really hoped they knew how to reverse that. Sirius wasn't so bad, but oy, James… He would've had Crookshanks amorously winding through his legs in two minutes flat. He paused for the barest second. Wait? "After all, _The Charming_ will be on in-"

"Oh no," Harry's voice hit a note James had been dangerously close to and he cleared his throat. "That's okay. Wouldn't want to interrupt or distract at all…" He backed out to the doorway. "Um, thanks for all the-ah, great care."

His hand found the doorknob and he was out.

He didn't wait around for the guys. He'd probably run into them anyway.

* * *

Pomphrey had just pulled her first tissue when there was a knock. With a frown and flick of her wand, she paused the show and got up.

"Yes?" she snapped.

Remus opened the door – he was considered the safest candidate. "Uh, Madam Pomphrey, we're here to see Harry?" he added the questioning lilt considerately.

She snorted. "I let him go. You just missed him."

Remus blinked, but before he could react, James and Sirius had shouldered their way in. Coming from opposite sides, they nearly crushed the slighter boy – and nearly got them all stuck in the doorway, but thankfully Sirius had moved quicker and burst through first. "You let him? After everything you put us through?" It had taken nearly a day for Dumbledore to considerately remove the spell she'd put them under. Apparently Pomphrey as a spell-caster was nothing to scoff at. (Though considering the way McGonagall had been smirking when she thought they weren't looking, Sirius had a bad feeling the teachers had just enjoyed the sight of the Marauders pranked.)

James, not to be outdone, focused on the more important matter. "You let him go by himself?" The Slytherins had been unusually quiet since the giant snake episode and James just knew it didn't bode well.

Pomphrey ignored Sirius in favor of James. "I suggested he wait with me, but he seemed pretty anxious to leave." She crossed her arms. "Now if you don't mind, I was in the middle of something." Remus' eyes flicked to the tissue she was still holding and he bit his cheek. He knew what that meant.

"We didn't mean to disturb you," he soothed stepping forward and grabbing both Marauders' arms. He tugged them back. "I'm sure we'll find him on our way back."

Sirius scowled, but both boys allowed the tugging.

"What was that about Moony?" He barely waited until they were out the door.

Remus smirked.

"Let's just say Poppy has more than a healthy interest in Vincenzo LeBeau."

James' brow furrowed. "Isn't he the actor that plays Lothario on that show;" he snapped his fingers as Sirius and Peter raised their eyebrows. "Oh my mum loves that show, what's its name?"

"_The Charming and the Wandless. _And she doesn't love it as much as Poppy, I assure you." Remus shook his head, muttering, "I knew Poppy'd get her revenge…"

* * *

He was nearly to the staircase to go to the second floor when he came face to face with two students. Two scowling students. Two scowling burly students – who he had a sinking feeling he recognized from a certain table that he wanted to stay as far away from after the disaster last week.

Damn, not again.

He just looked at them. "I'm guessing if I asked you to politely let me pass, that wouldn't help?"

The taller blond snorted. "Funny Patterson, but don't worry." His brown eyes crinkled in mocking amusement. "We're not here to ambush you or anything. Someone just wants to talk to you."

The other, slightly slimmer but a red-haired Beater Harry recognized belatedly from the Slytherin team, smirked as well and stepped up to his side. "Don't want to keep him waiting, do you?"

"Of course not," Harry muttered, wishing for the millionth time in his life that he wasn't such a twig.

* * *

Thus escorted, he was shuffled into the conveniently empty Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. Sometimes he really hated irony.

Seated on the teacher's desk, looking very cool and relaxed, was an equally thickset Slytherin, but attended with an air of collected intelligence. His dark features settled on Harry's face with a keen almost bemusement. It took Harry only a minute to place him and his stomach rolled.

"Lestrange."

The teen's eyebrow went up. "So, you've heard of me. I'm honored Patterson." He brought a hand up to his chest and flashed a smile that showed too many teeth to be anything but predatory.

Tamping down his revulsion – _the Longbottoms' blank smiles _– and feeling intensely the presence of the other two Slytherins at his back, he gritted his teeth.

"Is there something you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Very direct," Lestrange mused – Harry's stomach turned into another knot. It had to be Rodolphus – Sirius had said he was one of Snape's 'friends' (though from what he'd observed, Snape wasn't exactly the type to have friends). And Rodolphus had married – _her._ His hands fisted unconsciously. "I can appreciate that." He eyed Harry. "I must say you're not what I expected when I heard about the transfer." His smile was cold. "But I, _we_" the skin on the back of Harry's neck prickled, "have definitely been impressed."

He reached for something next to him on the desk and Harry stiffened reflexively, his hand slipping into his robe. Lestrange caught the motion, but only smirked. "Good reflexes – and wary too, that's always good." However, all he withdrew was a book. Harry blinked. It was the book Rosier had taken.

He offered it and after a second, Harry reluctantly accepted it. "Thanks," he muttered. "But why do I feel that's not the reason you," he glanced at the Slytherins flanking him, "asked me here?"

"Intelligence, always helpful." Harry didn't like the way he was listing the attributes – it was like a buyer checking out a horse. And he had a bad feeling about what exactly it was Lestrange wanted to buy. "You're the talk of the school, you know that? Every week something new crops up," Lestrange's eyes wandered to his forehead and Harry reflexively shook his head slightly to make sure his bangs fell to full coverage. "A skilled duelist, not afraid to back down from a hard spot, a Parselmouth – I'm afraid we misjudged you at first."

His blood was turning cold and Harry had a really bad feeling he knew where this was going. He narrowed his eyes. "You didn't. My mum was Muggleborn." He threw it out there defiantly. Had they forgotten that little tidbit? Then again, Voldemort himself couldn't exactly boast pure blood…

Lestrange shrugged. "Everyone has their issues." Harry's jaw set, but Lestrange kept going, "But what matters, is what you choose to do with your life, your skills." The seventh year's eyes grew more intense. "We would truly appreciate those skills, far more than certain others. We could offer you opportunities, opportunities that would be truly," his lips quirked, "advantageous."

"We?" Harry asked sharply. He was still at Hogwarts and he'd already joined-

Lestrange's smile widened. "People who understand that blood and power are truly worth something in this world."

Harry's insides felt ready to heave outward. And suddenly, he realized the utter ludicrousness – Lestrange was trying to recruit him. The one who would eventually be his _master's_ greatest enemy, the one for his first fall, with a prophecy and his dead parents' protection and – Lestrange thought he'd make a great Death Eater. And Harry realized for the first time why Sirius, when faced with that f-ing smoking street, could do nothing but laugh.

His throat choked and he stared at the boy who'd one day torture two Aurors for so long they'd lose their minds. "No." Lestrange's smile slipped slightly and Harry cocked his head, suddenly feeling recklessly furious. "Wait, that's not right, let me think for a second. Oh right – hell NO!"

Lestrange's eyes narrowed. "Perhaps you need time to think about it."

Harry snorted. "I really doubt that." And he couldn't help himself. "My mum, y'know – the Muggleborn," he gritted out, "she was murdered because she didn't quite agree with that little statement. And I'd rather be kissed by a Dementor than join you."

Lestrange actually looked amused by this vehemence. "How, very creative. But I'd watch yourself Patterson," his eyes hardened. "Someone might just take you up on that one day."

* * *

James was the first one in the door, his eyes automatically going to scan the room. He took a step in to make way for the other guys, before pausing.

"He's not here." James had a bad feeling about this…

Sirius scowled, circling the room as if to check Harry wasn't hiding under a bed.

"We must've missed him on the way back," Remus mused, but a frown troubled his lips.

"Missed him?" Sirius snapped predictably. "There's not that many ways to Gryffindor tower!"

"Actually-" a glower was enough to silence Peter.

"Why don't you check the map Moony?" Remus nodded at James' request, flipping open the other boy's trunk with all the nonchalance of a close friend.

Sirius rolled his eyes, but finally sat down on his bed. James eyed him warily, but the other boy just lay back and pulled out his wand to fiddle with. Sirius had been oddly nervy since Saturday – and James was more than uneasily certain that the fact had to do with that one last tidbit he needed before he could confront the newest Marauder.

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good." Remus tapped the document. There was a silence for a few minutes. Then Remus cleared his throat. "Show me Harry Patterson." James raised an eyebrow. Since when did the map need specific commands like that?

"Where is he Moony?" he asked, looking over Remus' shoulder. He froze. Taking a deep breath, he asked in a hushed tone, "Are you sure it's working right?"

Remus met his eyes and he knew that the look of dread was reflected in his own eyes. Nevertheless, the other boy ran a diagnostic spell.

Nothing.

James swallowed, feeling the very back of his neck heat under an intense gaze.

Sirius had risen, nose first, like a bloodhound picking up a scent. With languid menace of a stalking predator, he took a step forward.

"What is it?"

Peter shrunk back from the sheer deliberation of his tone. It was well-known to all the boys Sirius was moodier than any girl (other than Lily Evans James would always add, usually with a frown after a particularly, troublesome encounter). He would jump from anger to amusement to determination in a minute flat, only to wind up brooding over some slight for days. It was the times of his calmness however, that particularly unnerved Peter. He got a look his eye – a wry feral glee, his limbs loosening in the deliberation of a hunting predator (of them all, Peter should be the one to recognize such the most – and fear it rightfully). He locked the squeak in his throat.

"James?" James couldn't look at him, couldn't- Sirius sprang without warning, ripping the map away from them. Remus made an almost involuntarily grab for it back, but stopped himself as Sirius' eyes fell on the document. He couldn't protest. How could- he closed his eyes as an awful smile spread over Sirius' face.

Looking up from the map, he glanced at James almost defiantly, but the other still wouldn't meet his eyes.

James wouldn't – _couldn't _say anything.

Peter licked his lips nervously. "What is it Padfoot?"

Sirius grinned victoriously, the look almost more terrible than the one before.

"Oh Wormtail, guess who's-"

(Evil, evil, evil)

* * *

Harry pushed open the door open, feeling an edge of fatigue. Sodding Slytherins. On the way back he'd been stewing, the fury just rising. Lestrange had excused him with little fuss, obviously not wanting to permanently alienate him. **("If you change your mind-")** Harry sneered internally. Sodding Death Eaters; he'd rather eat live coals, than join the ranks of Wormtail-

His eyes fell on the boy and the anger hissed within him. Peter cringed and Harry forced himself to look away.

Remus and James were by Remus' bed, Remus seated and James standing over him. Surprisingly, only the latter looked up at his arrival – eying him with, Harry couldn't tell. His brow wrinkled, but it was then that Sirius spoke.

"So where have you been?"

The blandness was the tip-off and Harry knew something was wrong. Sirius lounged against his bedpost, all ease and repose. His eyes, however, were intent and Harry felt his spine prickle. Why was Sirius questioning him instead of James?

"The Hospital Wing, of course," he snapped. His jaw clenched. Damn it, he really wasn't in the right frame of mind to deal with Sirius, not now. Especially not with that maniacal gleam in his eyes, that set off all sorts of unpleasant memories.

"We went there," Sirius said, almost sounding musing and Harry swallowed.

Oh hell.

He glanced back at James, but he was still staring at the wall. Remus was staring at his bedspread blankly.

"Sorry I didn't wait," he said quickly. "Pomphrey was about to watch that damn _Charming_ soap and I just couldn't take another run-down of the sordid affairs of Pernicia and whoever the chump of the day was." A grin shadowed on Remus' face, but it didn't take and Harry had the horrible, gnawing realization that this situation was as bad as he feared. But how…? "I must've just missed you," he finished almost unconsciously.

"You know, that's what we thought. But y'know," Sirius' face quirked into a little ironic smile, "we happen to have this very, very interesting map of the school." With dawning horror, Harry watched him lift the Marauder's Map into the air. He tried to keep his face open, curious, but all he felt was frozen. "It happens to have a very unique ability." He couldn't speak, his mouth drier than the Sahara. "It can show where anyone is in Hogwarts – anywhere. And guess what?"

Sirius, damn his suspicions, after seeing him with Slytherins – "It's not like I wanted to talk to them!" he rushed out, not even processing the suddenly blank look on Sirius' face, nor the turning of James. "Lestrange practically had his lackeys haul me off and I mean they're-"

"Wait –" Sirius sputtered, taken off guard. "Lestrange? What the – " his volume went up ten notches. "You were with Slytherins?!" His eyes went from confusion to fury in an eyeblink and James looked alarmed.

"But-" Harry didn't understand as the situation spun even more out of his control.

"Slytherins, of all the –" Sirius' eyes narrowed. "What the hell where you doing with Slytherins?" he snarled.

"I just said-" Harry shook his head, confounded. "But I thought - the map?" He asked desperately, casting around at James and Remus who just stared mutely.

Sirius' lips curled into a sneer. "Congratulations, Flighty," tone slick with mocking, he threw the map at him, "you're not on the map."

"I'm-"

It wasn't such a revolutionary thought. He'd thought it before, not sure if he'd not come up or just be Harry Potter (_man, that must be a typo – maybe 'cuz I'm a transfer?_) But he'd just been so distracted… And he'd forgotten. In that brief moment, facing off with Sirius (Padfoot), he'd forgotten - forgotten about not being Harry Patterson.

Forgotten about not really being Flighty or blond or one of the guys.

He wasn't. He was Harry Potter, the freaking Boy-Who-Lived. And he didn't belong in this time – didn't exist...

"I'm not on the map," he murmured, his eyes distant.

Sirius bared his teeth. "It's a neat trick, that. Map's supposed to show everyone – and it always has. Except, apparently you. So special," the way he drawled it made something in Harry cringe, "Your new Slytherin friends must just love you. But then, there's so much to love."

His eyes snapped up. "What?!"

But Sirius was shaking his head, tutting. "You must be such a disappointment – mum a Muggleborn and look at you." It stung like acid – the contempt and he couldn't breathe. And he looked to James, eyes almost begging – don't – but James just dropped his eyes and said nothing. Nothing! – and it was all Harry could take.

Sirius…

"You would know about that, wouldn't you Black?" he shoved back and he knew it wasn't the right response as Sirius' eyes glint in response, but the frustration had just built and built. "So just shut the f- up Black!" He looked around again, not wanting to hear the other's retort. "All of you – you think I'm a soddin' Death Eater?"

All of them?

And the weight of their rejection sunk like a giant's fist on his chest.

No response.

"I don't show up on a soddin' map _you don't even tell me about_ and suddenly I'm a Voldemort lackey?!" He wanted to hit something, and their reactions barely appeased him. Peter nearly fell off his bed in shock; Remus and James turned pale and flinched. But Sirius' eyes widened only to narrow again.

And Sirius sneered again. "Oh please Patterson. You really think that's the only reason why? Taking out four Slytherins, being all buddy-buddy with Snape, seeing thestrals, consorting with Slytherins, a soddin' Parseltongue! Hell, the Sorting Hat probably wanted to put you in Slytherin – you practically have Death Eater stamped on you!" And without warning, Sirius actually leapt forward and stabbed his fingers in the mark Harry had borne since he was a babe. It flared in pain and he shoved Sirius away.

It was only the barest echo though of the agony inside.

Irony was a bitch.

"You think I asked for this?" his hand pressed the throbbing scar, the fury like battery acid in his veins. "You think I ASKED FOR THIS? You absolute HYPOCRITE!" he took deep breaths, desperately trying to reign in his temper. "You're born into one of the darkest pure blood families and you, you're accusing me?!"

Sirius' eyes sharpened. "I'm not like them!"

"Well I'm like my family!" he growled. "Or have you forgotten my –"

"Oh right, your mum, what happened –" Sirius' teeth bared in an ugly, ugly grin. "–your da get a bit upset with a fumbling Muggleborn-"

His rage had no depth, no weight, no height – it just was, all-encompassing.

He saw pure red, the bitterness and anger choking him-

"HE MURDERED THEM!" Everyone in the room froze, and James realized that they had let this go way too far. "My mum was just first and then my da and then even, and even-" and he stared at Sirius, and somehow the years piled on and suddenly he was staring at someone who'd lost everything, even more than he, and now even the life he'd clung to for so long and all he could see was the horror, and suddenly he was shaking with something far different than rage. His face became ash pale. "My godfather…" His hands started to shake.

"Why?" As soon as the word came out of Sirius' mouth, he knew he was a jackass. And the answers that had been tormenting him to be found – just slipped away as Harry's face completely closed up.

The time traveler's fists closed in self-directed rage and now he bared his teeth at Sirius.

"Just shut the hell up Black," he said icily, shoving his emotions back in with difficulty, his eyes just a bit too bright. "I have had IT with your damn suspicions," he was still shaking, but he had to keep going. Focus on the _present_, damn it! "Trying to get into my stuff, trying to set me up with all your damn questions, letting go of you soddin' drugging me!" Remus frowned and James stiffened at the sudden inclusion. "You know what Padfoot," he spat it out equally mocking, shoving the map he was still holding into a taken-aback Sirius' chest, "I don't owe you a damn thing." He turned on his heel.

The door slammed and Harry was gone.

"Bloody hell."

Remus, even though blanching at the newest revelation, shot a look over at Sirius with a deepening suspicious frown. "What did he mean by drugging him?"

Sirius stared at the door.

Why did things always have to get worse?

* * *

Sentence completion, "Oh Wormtail, guess who's not on the map?"


	24. Who yah going to turn to?

More angst ahoy!

And just for all to know, I wasn't trying to come down harshly on slash, etc. - it's just frustration with being asked SO MANY TIMES!

_Oops: Harry reversed the order of deaths – drat, to be honest I totally screwed that up – but hey, I can explain it away!! When Harry heard Dementors, who did he hear first? Lily. Then he heard James. So in his subconscious mind – Lily died first, then James._

And actually, this will begin the real distinguishment between him as a figure separate from Harry Potter.

Best quotes: slayerette0 – "It'd be like a Christmas present TO THE WORLD."

Warriora – "_Hold Me While I'm Here_ is so realistic, so raw... I love the marauders' suspicious side that leads them to find out new things about Harry in such dramatic ways- delicious and realistic."

**Absolute best: Angelwings23123 – "The poor boy doesn't just have issues, he has a subscription."**

* * *

Okay, I couldn't mention everyone – there are way too many!! So here are the **shout-outs**: frogger278 (lol!), Summercloud (you thanked me!), Elvin Flame (lol on loving things "that are cute-ish and dangerous/evil. As long as they're not eating/killing/mauling me."), Konoha's Kage (aw...), Viridian (absolutely: "irresponsibly Sirius"), Death by Feathers (LOL!!), Foxpad (Definitely having falcon as a 'regular' color and love the plushies!), Little Kisa (Fudge monkeys? lol), Cedarleaf (thanks), Avada-Kedavra-Green (WOW!), nanashi (a few years ago? oy), December'sNarcissus (I am!), Aliki (-happy beam-), PandaFusion (Maybe Remus epilogue), Kookies 'n Kreem (O.O oh my), hp nerd (:)), dupel (finishing? er...), best thing in life is stories (sorry to disappoint), Hoeun (lol), Silenced Doves (so agree!!), kasmo (very true about Harry's past), Sound Puzzle (yes, map support!), vaoni (thanks then! tight-fisted compliments are good), kawaii-rini (lol), sweet-babie-phoenix (yay, support over map!), SweetSouthernGal (-wince-), xdarkangelx9585 (yes! Psyched someone out!), Dragon Rider22 (good! I loved the idea! And I loved, "'corse he didn't explain anything anyway, just kinda yelled." Lol!), podge17 (Lol!), Lolly O'Neill (interesting technique – and I definitely agree, complications are always fun), The Kunai (huh, didn't realize such an adrenaline rush, um but that's good, all natural, I guess…), azillia (happy ending? How do you mean?), XxX-PhoenixGirl-XxX (yes! Support for the no telling!), Jamie15 (I'm not that anti-nature, lol), Ava Monroe (yeah, I actually wasn't going to inject so much humor in the beginning, but someone gave me an idea and I ran with it), brightsidetolife (no, but ack! Your poor nails…), forgotten-magick (lol!), Nosi (thank you!), Sir Chris (Snap LOL!), Mickolie (you compared my update with July 21st - oy!), TeahLeafs _(lol! Almost reversed that order, but it just wouldn't work as well – though I had such visions of him really ripping into Lestrange, can't have him end up in the HW –again!- Thanks for the non-slashy support too!),_ Eriks leadinglady (lol!).

* * *

Special review:

ashez2ashes (I LOVED YOUR REVIEW! It's almost impossible to slice-and-dice like I usually do. Cliff hanger-it is lol! A 'cause Nitte iz awesome tax' to pay me to write? –shifty eyes- Perhaps start a petition, 'cause hey, money – writing, those go together…

_You hit three things on the head!_

"I'm glad more people aren't showing up. If someone from Harry's time did show up, it'd ruin the dynamic you've got going between the Marauders. Harry's back wouldn't be pushed against a wall like this and we wouldn't have all the awesome angst." **Exactly!! The way he's playing off the pre-existing tensions in the group is exactly the angle I want to work, rather than adding more elements that upset a precarious balance. This fic is how Harry would be like as a Marauder with all of his issues together with theirs.**

"I loved the tension between Sirius and Harry. It really felt like the natural progression of all the previous events. It feels natural, but not in a predictable way." **Yes! It's been building for some time, with both slowly adding real injuries on top of bad impressions.**

"I also like how appropriate Harry's nickname is turning out to be. He walks off on his own and gets into trouble. He gets into a heated argument... then walks away. He really is prone to being flighty..." **YES! Finally someone appreciates the nickname!! In this fic, Harry is VERY flighty – but honestly, he's like that an awful lot in the books with isolating himself. Here, being so restrained around them is such a strain, he literally feels he has to remove himself from the situation – repeatedly.**

DON'T apologize for crazy LONG reviews, they're so much fun for me!!

* * *

Hold Me While I'm Here-

Chapter 24: Who yah gonna turn to?

_

* * *

_

Roaming through this darkness

_I'm alive but I'm alone_

_Part of me is fighting this_

_But part of me is gone_

- 3 Doors Down

* * *

James winced as the door slammed. Sirius, tight lipped and paler than normal, paced the room again.

They'd just had to tell Remus what exactly Harry had meant by the drugging comment.

* * *

"_Of all the stupid, idiotic, moronic-"_

"_It served its purpose – he didn't wake up and notice us missing that night."_

"_Yeah, but now he __**has**__ to be wondering what could __**possibly**__ possess you to give him Sleeping Draught!"_

"_He probably thought we were doing some stupid secret Marauder stunt or going through his stuff or something!"_

"_Well, we wouldn't know would we, because __**your **__genius plan means he doesn't trust us or thinks we might slip him something at any moment!"_

"_We wouldn't-"_

"_That's what I thought, but I always seem to be wrong at guessing the extent of your thoughtlessness!"_

* * *

James hadn't seen the other boy so upset since – well, it wasn't on par with the you-nearly-got-Snape-killed-and-me-to-a-Dangerous-Creatures-trial, but at the moment, it was hard to focus on that.

Especially when the slam of the bathroom door rivaled Harry's departure.

"I can't stay here," Sirius finally announced, speaking more to himself than anyone else, even as he headed toward the door. "Besides," he paused, "it isn't safe for him out there." He was gone before James could react to that little remark.

James desperately wished, for the safety of all involved, they didn't meet up.

Classes were being dismissed and the halls were full of students, but Sirius moved through them mindlessly. He walked with a speed and focus of knowing exactly where he was going – except he didn't have a clue.

How had things gotten this screwed up?

"_Why?"_

Could he truly doubt the reason Harry's family had died?

But it didn't make sense – none of it did. Harry had all the earmarks of Dark Arts' involvement; he knew himself that a background didn't make the person, but he had to trust his instincts, they were all he had. His instincts and his friends were all he had left. And they were telling him that Harry's secrets were far more than they appeared.

He suddenly spotted a familiar shock of black hair and almost unconsciously headed straight for it. But as the crowd swirled, he suddenly realized he hadn't stumbled upon Harry. Harry didn't even have black hair...

Angry, glittering eyes rose to meet his and an all-too familiar sneer formed on the face before him.

Another boy, bulker and a beater Sirius recognized from the Slytherin team, sidled up, separating from the small group of fourth-years. He eyed Sirius, but spoke instead the shorter boy. "You coming Reg?"

"This should just take a minute," Regulus dismissed. "I'll catch up." He folded his arms over his chest defensively. "What do you want _Impur_?"

Sirius tensed reflexively. He hated that nickname. It was a joke from the family creed – 'impur' instead of 'pur.' Only Regulus used it, a specially crafted nickname to get under his skin, mocking even the memories he had of them as children playing Emperor. He had no doubt the pun was intended.

But he had enough matters on his mind – and he could only credit his desperation with what tumbled from his mouth next.

"Have you seen Harry?" Regulus glared at him with distaste, before his eyes glinted.

"No, _I_ haven't seen him, but maybe if you asked some of the older years…"

Sirius stared, but when Regulus tried to brush by him, he blocked his way.

"What did they want with him?" he asked, his voice rising in volume, even if he already knew the answer. Hadn't it been his own assumption?

Regulus gave him a level-look. "You know this is the first time I've seen you in weeks; no 'how are you even doing,' older brother?" he spat out.

The accusation came out of nowhere and Sirius couldn't speak. He wanted to say, "I'm your brother," as if that would explain everything. But the truth – was simply impossible.

Regulus' eyes hardened and he gave a harsh laugh.

"Right, friends matter more than family, even your own sodding blood-"

* * *

"_I'm not coming back!"_

"_Oh and where do you think you're going to go?"_

"_To people who actually might want me!"_

"_You walk out that door Sirius Orion Black and you can't come back!" _

_The door slammed._

* * *

He didn't, he didn't want to think about that. The door closing and his mother's vengeful eyes – he cut Regulus off.

"What happened?"

Regulus raised an eyebrow. "What?"

He licked his lips. "I need to know what happened that day – with Harry."

The look turned into shrewd calculation. "Why?" his brother asked coolly.

"Just tell me." His hands flexed, but he didn't touch him, didn't try to shake these answers loose. That was what had gotten him into this mess in the first place.

Regulus looked at him for a long moment, before sneering. "Just told him I'd like to scrub you off the Black family map – though Mom actually got there first. And then," he gave an eloquent shrug, "he just went nuts."

And Sirius let out a breath he'd been holding for two weeks. There it was. Black and white. Harry had defended him. And he felt sicker than before. Why-

"Don't know why the hell he'd want to defend a bastard like you, but hey," the sneer gained force on his face, "everyone has their issues."

"They asked him to become one, didn't they?" Sirius muttered softly, staring beyond his brother.

Regulus froze, shifty eyed. "What are you talking about?"

Without thinking, Sirius laid his hand on his younger brother's shoulder. "I know the world I grew up in –" his hand tightened incrementally, "-and the people in it."

Regulus shrugged his hand away, angry again. "Yeah, well he's just as much a fool as you are."

He'd refused. Sirius closed his eyes. Regulus swept by him.

"Now if you don't have any other questions, bye, _brother_."

Sirius barely heard him. How could he have been so off?

Could Harry be just like him?

* * *

"_Did the Hat want to put you in Slytherin?"_

"_What?" Sirius froze, but Harry went on obliviously as he prepped his tooth brush. They were the last two in the bathroom that night._

"_I mean, obviously, you're a Gryffindor. But, I was just wondering-"_

"_It suggested it," Sirius cut him off shortly. "But it knew where to put me." He gave Harry a telling look. The other boy nodded._

"_Yes, it's remarkable like that."_

"_What about you?" Sirius couldn't help the question._

"_Same thing. I suppose the Parseltongue thing didn't help," Harry shrugged, before grinning. "But I don't have enough of a pureblood superiority complex for them, I'm quite sure."_

Was it all mere games or honesty?

* * *

It had been at least two hours and Remus was still holed up in the bathroom. Obviously he was having trouble accepting Sirius had just acted for his good. James sighed.

Damn his hare-brained ideas.

He must have said it out loud, because Peter started. A moment later, tentatively, the other boy ventured, "I don't think it was dumb." James swiveled his head from where he was lying on his stomach on his bed. Peter cleared his throat, obviously prepping for a point he'd had plenty of time to think about. "We know Harry's keeping secrets;" unconsciously Peter looked to James for approval and was met with a resigned nod, "and-and there's gotta be more than his parents, y'know," he gave a self-conscious forward shrug, lowering voice, "and-and he didn't even really explain anything."

James rubbed his eyes. "Well, I don't think he's going to volunteer any information after Sirius' stunt."

"Do you trust Harry?"

James looked at Peter sharply, seeing the openly questioning look on the boy's face. He opened his mouth before realizing there was no easy answer and closed it, flipping unto his back. He stared at the ceiling. "I want to," he finally said. "But there are things I'd like to know first." There were just all these little details about him: his habit of vagueness, so many things that didn't scare him, his ease with the unusual – they didn't add up to anything, but – it was like a massive connect-the-dots. They were more than visible, but didn't make any sense until you connected them to make the picture. Unfortunately, James didn't even know where to start connecting. "He doesn't give straight answers – he always gives them with that bizarre distant look in his eyes."

"I'd just like to know why he doesn't like me." There was one mystery. It was muted, but unmistakably there. Harry never came out and said anything, but he avoided Peter when at all possible. It was even stranger as Peter had never done anything to Harry – he never did anything of note, except those stunts out of friend devotion.

James sighed again.

There was a tapping at the window and James and Peter swiveled. The sixth year dormitory was at least eight stories up – the window was hardly accessible. Both boys rose to check it out.

"Is that an owl?" Peter asked in consternation, peeking over James' shoulder. James blinked.

Since when did owls come to dormitory rooms?

Nevertheless, he opened the window and let the tawny owl in. It was a school owl, James could tell that right off the bat even if it was more massive than the norm, clutching a hastily folded note in its claws.

_Remus_ was scrawled on it.

As further verification, the owl quickly swooped in and alighted on one of the poles of Remus' bed. James knew from experience it wouldn't leave until the receiver personally claimed the message.

Great.

"Who'd be sending an owl to Remus in school?" Peter muttered. James shrugged – it had happened a few times during Remus' stint as Prefect, but it seemed odd to have it happen now. Well, there was only one way to find out…

With a sigh, he knocked on the bathroom door.

No response. He knocked again.

"I don't want to talk," Remus' voice came out steely, but hoarse.

"As much as I'd like to," James said, "you actually have an owl."

Silence again.

"I'm serious," James prompted, anticipating the suspicious question. He glanced back at the bed. "And it's beginning to sharpen its talons against your bedpost." Some of the owls were more impatient than others – and this one looked only half-tamed.

The door twisted open and Remus stared as the owl tightened its grip on the bedpost, making a creaking sound. He darted to the bed. The owl dropped the note, flexing its wings in preparation for flight.

James waited until Remus had finished reading the note, dismissing the owl. "Remus Sir-"

Remus scooped up his thick cloak, fastening it with quick ease. "James, you do not want to start this conversation with me." And he was out the door without any explanation.

Well, James considered, at least he didn't slam it.

* * *

He was quickly running out of places to run to. That was the downside of dramatic exits – it was only as dramatic as long as you stayed gone.

Wandering the halls was out of the question, the library hadn't ever been that fun – even with Hermione and Ron at his elbows providing comments on whatever mystery they were hunting down, and well, deforestation was admittedly not the brightest of ideas.

So he'd turned to his last resort: Hagrid's.

The isolated cabin had been somewhere he could retreat to when the world outside was crazy. Hagrid had his own mini-dramas, but it was always somewhat of a relief to tromp the path out of the castle, leaving behind the castle with its mazes of secrets, misunderstandings, and prejudices. As long as you could fake eating a hulking biscuit, there was always a massive seat you could curl up in, angled toward the fire with Fang sprawled out on the hearth.

Except Fang wasn't there – because this wasn't his Hagrid or the cabin he'd used as a refuge in the past. This was the past and the Hagrid who had lapsed into silence at least half-an-hour ago and now nervously eyed him while stirring a pot of tea that he'd taken off a burner even longer before – was not the same Hagrid he knew.

And he had no reason to feel very comfortable in Harry's presence – just like Sirius and James and Remus.

Didn't make him any happier about it though. He slouched further in the chair brooding.

But it turned out Sirius was right about one thing. He was Flighty – but when the only other option was letting all the bitterness and frustration flow out of his mouth, he couldn't – not with the Unbreakable Vow Dumbledore had made him swear.

He closed his eyes and cursed them all.

A knock on the door interrupted what his friends would've labeled his 'deep submerge' brood level.

Hagrid immediately straightened, a plainly-fixed smile appearing on his face. "Oh, wond'r who tha' could be!" He hurried to the door and threw it open. A blinking Remus stood dwarfed in the doorway. Hagrid grabbed him by the shoulder and escorted him, a tad forcefully, into the house. "Oh 's Remus, what a surprise!"

Harry looked from Hagrid's over-enthusiastic face to Remus' hesitant countenance. Hagrid continued to fuss, but Harry set down his cup before Hagrid could press Remus into another chair.

One thing was a constant: Hagrid was worse than a five-year-old at keeping a secret.

"That's okay Hagrid, I've imposed long enough." He gave Hagrid a weak smile as Hagrid's cheeks flushed and he got up. "I should be going."

"Um well," Hagrid looked between the two boys, "y' are welcome ter come back," Harry looked up into wide, sincere eyes, "if yah want."

Harry sighed. "Thanks Hagrid." He walked out the door without acknowledging Remus. Giving Hagrid an apologetic look, Remus followed him.

He was half-way to the castle before Remus could catch up with his angry, long strides.

"Harry..."

"You, you of all people, how-" he bit out before making himself stop, "Just don't _Moony_," he spat the nickname and Remus froze in his tracks.

"I don't want to hear it. I'm sick of half-assed apologies."

* * *

If you had asked James a week ago if Harry held grudges, he'd have laughed and said, "Flighty?" He was one of the most amicable guys he knew.

Now however, James realized that wasn't true. He didn't know exactly why Harry had allowed them so much latitude before, but whatever strands of goodwill had been there had been terminated.

Harry had cut them off completely.

Breakfast was skipped, he sat on the other end of classrooms – appearing and leaving late to ensure it, as well as giving the iciest cold shoulder James had ever experienced to any attempt to talk (though he was the only one who tried – even Remus seemed to have taken to avoiding Harry). He didn't even know if Harry was completing his earlier detention, though it would explain the hours he disappeared completely. And the map was no help there.

Not even Saturday's Quidditch match thawed their relations. It was Ravenclaw vs. Slytherin and they could only boo Slytherin half-heartedly. The Slytherin's win only dampened the mood further, even if James assured them all that at least Gyffindor would kick their asses next week. He'd been looking in Harry's direction as he said it and for one instant blond hair had turned and green eyes had met his – but the thin press of Harry's lips never changed and he turned on his heel and stalked away.

James sighed.

It was like they were staging their very own cold war – except James knew for a fact, all his side wanted was armistice. Except that was assuming there was a 'his side.'

The Marauders were more divided than they'd ever been. Remus was furious and stonily ignoring them all; from experience, James had a feeling that was at least probably frustration with himself for allowing himself to be dragged into the confrontation in the first place. Sirius was brooding, probably over the revelations Harry had given. Except they hadn't been real revelations and now he had questions, questions he couldn't discuss with guilt-ridden Sirius.

How had Harry's parents died? How had Harry gotten his scar? Why was his family so targeted, so involved in the war? It didn't totally make sense.

And a certain run-in earlier hadn't helped.

* * *

"_So you and the newbie are having problems," the hissing voice sneered, "what, found him more than you expected?"_

"_Shut up!" James demanded. "You don't know anything!"_

"_And he got you all so riled? Maybe he should be in Slytherin instead-"_

* * *

Hexing Snape with _Densaugeo_ had barely helped. He rubbed his wrist under the table; especially considering the fact Snape's dueling skills were no joke one-on-one. The Stinging Hex he'd received was still making his wrist stiff.

His eyes involuntarily trailed down the table to Harry's current chosen locale: Lily. Well, to be honest, the Gryffindor sixth-year girls, but Lily always ranked first in James' mind. If he hadn't seen first-hand Harry trade off his 'date' to himself, he would've been jealous. But instead, he just watched as Harry pushed the food around his plate under the girls' equally watchful eyes.

* * *

Lily was worried. She liked Harry, liked his humility, his shy good humor, his contrasting boldness of opinion. When he had first sat down with them, she'd been pleased, glad he felt comfortable enough with her to eat with her friends. Except that hadn't been why he'd sat down, and a meal of stony silence and intent ignorance of his friends further down the table had given ample evidence. Lily ventured some conversation, which Harry only added to a little.

Marna, of course, hadn't taken his glower at face value. She had to ask.

"Wow, that's gotta be a record. You just got out of the Hospital Wing yesterday and they managed to get you so upset you won't even look at them-"

"I don't want to talk about it," Harry said steely.

Marna rolled her eyes. "Ooh, c'mon you have a captive, sympathetic audience here. Lily and I always sound off about the Moron-auders every so often! What happened?"

Harry's forearms tensed and he finally looked up, fixing her with cold green eyes. "I. Do. Not. Want. To. Talk. About. It," he carefully enunciated.

He'd lapsed into complete silence after that for the rest of the meal. No one had asked again.

But meal by meal, Lily could see the edges of his anger blunt. He seemed almost to, well, wilt. His face gained a washed-out quality, a weary fading out. It came to be enough that she had ventured when they were alone, if reconciling with them was completely out-of-the-question.

He'd stilled in the wide hallway, his face suddenly aging a lifetime. "I don't want to be angry with them. They are-" he paused and she could feel his pain. "-my friends. But sometimes," the silence lasted for longer than a second and she wondered if he would finish. "it's all so impossible," he murmured at last.

She tentatively touched his elbow and he started at the touch, turning to her with wide eyes. Then he shook his head and she could see the walls return to their places.

"I am who I am;" he bowed his head, hiding his eyes from her sight, before taking a deep breath, "if they can't accept me as I am – then this is it." He strode down the hallway without waiting for her to join him.

* * *

Two sets of eyes rested on Harry with twin resolutions.

It couldn't go on like this. It simply couldn't.


	25. When a gentleman concedes

LOL, half of you thought it was a cliffhanger and the other half thanked me for getting off the cliffhanger!

Thanks to all my reviewers!

4 the luv of Vincent, coolmarauders (I'm glad, but why the 'but'?), Lyrashin, Nahirta (another for the nickname! & love your description), Siriusly Odd, Serena Gemini, bookrascal, hentai18ancilla (wow, profound?), superkawaiifoxy (you got it!), TheWizardingWorldsLastHope (aw!), CrystalMind (thanks), Fk306 animelover, Nessa19 (yeah), Konoha's Kage, Tsukikage Kitsune _(-smile-, thanks! Still between hawk & falcon - though I think I have a way out of that)_, Foxpad (would it really disappoint you to know that was actually a corrected mistake? -blush-), Eriks leadinglady, abscond, itachi's girl, shikamaru the nerd (lol), **parseltonge girl** **(what exactly do you mean?)**, LilyJames addict ("Make harry happier. or more violent." LOL!), CHEEKIMONKEY (soon!), Serpent91, HaruJam (no Voldemort - see previous A/N), Clovergirl22, Angelwings23123 (:)), fufu.a.k.a.speechless, Yabberli, Yukiru-4-eva, Following Padfoot's Pawprints (aw!), shuichi'sgirl, Hiei-Rulez, pyrofreeze (yay!), erik black , The Metronome Maven (corrected!), Nights Silhouette, jovan schnee, fattoad, Pirata.Acquamarina, ph0enixgirlie, MdnightRose, mel92, fatcakes, Zuzanny, Norwegian Moonflower, Maradon, petites sorcieres, Alexis8907, Nosi (-grin- Sorry, they got different plans...), Estel Ashlee Snape, Duchessa (Thanks! Oy, four years…)

* * *

Kris – Sorry, I didn't mean to be 'overly harsh' but repeatedly fielding the questions (I'm still getting requests for Hermione & Ron to join him!!) is really frustrating! I'm glad you don't find this all overdramatic, I think I sometimes toe the line. And I love this quote: "I almost want to feel bad for James, and I would too, were he not such a prat." LOL!

Insightful quote:

BladeMaxwell-GoddessofDeath – "I understand why Sirius did what he did but it still doesn't make it right." (My whole point - to understand other p.o.v.s without necessarily legitimizing them.)

Best review:

Duchessa – "Best. Christmas. Present. Ever." –big smile–

-pout- No one remarked on Moron-auders! Guess it's not original…

* * *

Hold Me While I'm Here-

Chapter 25: When a gentleman concedes

_

* * *

_

So hold me when I'm here

_Right me when I'm wrong_

_Hold me when I'm scared_

_And love me when I'm gone_

-3 Doors Down

* * *

Being in the past seemed to be whittling down Harry's reasons for going there in the first place: he was getting more infamous by the day, in over a month he'd spent more time not talking to the Marauders than actually spending time with them, and a Deatheater had already tried to recruit him.

The lack of Voldemort's personal meddling in his life was wonderful, but that was practically the only thing he had going for him.

Frustration didn't even describe it. He'd gone up and down so many times, anger, annoyance, giddiness, in the last few weeks, he wasn't even sure it was worth making up with the Marauders.

Oh, who was he kidding?

It was worth all the aggravation if they'd just trust him – even though he couldn't share his secrets.

Damn it.

He sunk his head in his hands.

* * *

Cauldron? Check.

Ingredients? Check – though he'd probably need more vera root.

Stirring implements? Check.

Potions partner – Sirius slid in the seat next to him like he was stealing a base – who also happens to be an annoying nitwit of a jerk? Check.

Sirius blew his breath out, running his fingers along the line of the table. It was a sign of nervousness, one he barely ever betrayed around anyone but his closest friends. It was also the first sign of an impending apology.

Remus started to sort his ingredients.

"Look Remus," he didn't look up, "I'm sorry alright?" He never was one to beat around a bush.

Remus kept sorting the ingredients.

Sirius drummed the desk, but Remus refused to acknowledge him. Sirius' jaw clinched. "Okay, I'm a git, we all know that right?"

Remus twitched.

"Remy-" Sirius only pulled out that nickname in situations of dire need.

"You made him more suspicious of us Sirius – even at the same time that we're demanding him to share all!" Agitated, he started hacking, er, chopping up the root. "You don't think these things through!" he hissed. "You just act!"

Sirius gave a weak grin. "That's what you're for-"

"I'm not always going to be there as your Jiminy Cricket."

Sirius' brow furrowed in genuine confusion. "My what?"

Remus just shook his head – Sirius and James never got his Muggle references. "Nevermind," they started to add ingredients to the cauldron before Remus finally sighed. "I'm not the one to apologize to though."

Sirius' shoulders relaxed, recognizing the statement for the forgiveness it was. "Well, Prongs wants us all to apologize together."

Remus nodded, seeing the wisdom. They'd all confronted him, in a way; it made sense to apologize the same way.

* * *

Harry watched Remus and Sirius reunite with a bitter taste in the back of his throat. The last few days had just gone downhill. He was getting tired of not talking to the guys, but less hopeful of any real change. Ransdale was keeping a close eye on him and was now suggesting starting a Dueling Club, which had Harry muttering mentally 'not again.' Allouva made sympathetic noises every time he got within three feet of her (something he did not appreciate) and Lily kept biting her lip worriedly when he was silent for more than two minutes – he looked over at his Potions partner and saw her do it again. Whoops.

"Um, I'll just cut up some more root." There wasn't any more needed in the recipe, but at least she stopped biting her lip to nod.

Behind him, a Slytherin snickered before the pair behind them, Bemley and Nott, began to stage whisper.

"Oh come on. You really think he's a Parselmouth? He's a Muggleborn!" Lily's teeth ground at the insult, but Harry didn't react. At least one thing was going his way - "He'd like us to believe he is though, all part of their big prank on the Slytherins. Their failed prank." – at this rate he wouldn't have to worry about getting attention for being a Parselmouth.

"It certainly went awry," Harry agreed aloud, skirting the accusation and ignoring Lily's puzzled look. Sometimes, it was just amazing how much people's wrong assumptions could be helpful.

After that, Potions was rather uneventful until the end when Lily tugged Harry's cloak and led him to the front of the classroom. Ever curious, the Marauders paused in the doorway of the classroom.

"Ah, Mr. Patterson," Slughorn was all smiles and good cheer. "It's been awhile since we got to talk." Talking apparently equaled interrogating over a possible attack on your House students.

Harry smiled weakly. "Uh, yeah."

"I must say I've been impressed with your talent-" he said slyly. "-in class of course. Now there's a small group of students that I gather every once and a while – really just the brightest and most talented. I think it would be simply wonderful if you would join us."

Harry glanced back to the curious, frowning James to Lily's open, encouraging smile.

"Why not?"

* * *

The board was back, full of ideas, sketches, and cross-outs. Only this time they weren't plotting a prank; this time they were plotting something even more complicated and challenging – apparently.

"Don't you think if we're all there, it might be a little overwhelming?"

"That defeats the whole purpose of us all apologizing!"

"It's going to be all of us," James repeated for the second time. "Now have we figured out where yet?"

Awkward looks circled the room. "That would require us actually knowing where he is at any given time," Remus pointed out.

"We could always just approach him here," Sirius suggested.

"Oh yes, because last time worked out so well." James frowned at him; Remus had been making snide comments all night, but James was loath to antagonize him again. So he just gritted his teeth. If Sirius could ignore it, so could he.

"Why don't we just skip to the how?" James ventured. Silence. The boys looked at each other.

"Oy, this wouldn't be so hard if we knew him better," Sirius said with a frown.

"Well, it's not like we're that used to making apologies." Peter had a point.

Peter usually took what he could get and had no higher expectations. Remus, of them all, was the easiest to offend, but correspondingly, the easiest from whom to gain forgiveness. Sincerity was the kicker for him; you had to really mean it. James could hold grudge and getting forgiveness from him was tricky. There was no real method, it was more of a choice on his part – when and whom he chose. The Marauders tended to end on the favorable side of those choices. Sirius simply didn't. He seemed to pass over the whole forgiveness phase or stick to the grudge. One day he wouldn't talk to you, the next day he'd act like nothing had happened – if you were a friend. And Harry, well, he seemed to let things go – or at least he had.

"We'll just have to keep thinking," Remus concluded, adding, "And NO banners Prongs, honestly."

"It's not that bad an idea," he defended himself. "Making a public spectacle of yourself is always a good way to apologize," he said firmly, eying the crossed-out idea with an almost pout.

"Then why hasn't Lily ever forgiven you?" The question came from Peter, surprisingly enough, and Sirius burst out laughing.

"He's got you there Prongs!"

Remus sighed and rubbed his temples as James lobbed a pillow at Sirius. This was going to take a lot of work.

* * *

He was an idiot. Though, he considered his father, he could definitely blame heredity.

"If he tries to get me to talk to a snake, I am out of here," he muttered, uneasily scanning the crowd at the entrance of the gathering, and Lily rolled her eyes.

"He won't," Lily brushed off, giving him a look. "Besides, most people think you aren't a Parselmouth now anyway," her tone was inquisitive and Harry was almost relieved by Slughorn's sudden call.

Almost. "Harry, m'boy! I'm so glad you could make it!" Slughorn swept him up. "Just a few rising stars to introduce you to, Carter McLeaper, his uncle, y'know, was one of the best-"

It was like Lockhart all over again, without the autographs and personal preening. Why had he thought this would different?

"See Harry, isn't this great?" Lily smiled at him and he stared back. He could blame a weakness for red-heads on heredity too.

Slughorn, obliviously, began to introduce him to the next honored member. "And this is-"

"We've met," Harry cut him off shortly. Great, he _was_ making him talk to a snake.

Lestrange smiled with all the poise of an oiled eel.

"Oh well," Slughorn blinked for a minute than returned to his spiel of how Lestrange was related to this great, important person and that influential person (Harry knew the drill by now). Lestrange just kept smiling that sick little smug grin.

Finally, he said demurely, "Yes, we all end up being related somehow."

Harry gave a baring-of-teeth smile. "Believe me, Sirius has my condolences."

Lestrange kicked up an eyebrow, "Really?" he drawled. "'Cuz I've heard about some discord in Gryffindor paradise?" Ah, the negative side of the rumor mill, Harry was wondering when that was going to show up again.

"That's the second time I've heard it referred to as paradise," he avoided the question. "Slytherins seem to have interesting ideas about Gryffindor." Slughorn looked between them with a frown, but before he could mediate another student called to him from the other side of the room. His head shot up and as soon as he recognized the caller he perked up.

"Ah, I'll be back in a minute," he said, already making his way over.

As soon as Slughorn was out of earshot, Lestrange's smile became nastier.

"Oh we don't imagine it as paradise, after all, considering the company you must keep." His eyes flicked to Lily, who bristled. "But I guess your kind have to stick together."

"You mean those more intelligent than you? Of course." Harry shot back. "I'm surprised you noticed though."

That molded the smile into a glare. But once again Slughorn appeared providentially, in time to whisk Harry off again. "Oh Harry, you simply must meet Evangelina-"

Lily followed a half-step behind, perfectly positioned to whisper to her friend. "That wasn't necessary Harry."

Harry discreetly tilted his head back; Slughorn was too busy shmoozing to notice. "Unnecessary maybe, but so worth it," And then, slyly – because despite any current issues he had with the Marauders, who they were to him in the future was still the same. "Besides, what would James say if I didn't defend your honor?"

She stopped short. "I don't need Potter to defend me!"

Slughorn stopped mid-speech to look at Lily in utter confusion. Harry winced sympathetically, though his mouth twitched.

"That's for sure." The comment was so unexpected and so contrary, he had to see the speaker before he recognized him. Severus Snape, more polished than he'd yet seen him – with eyes fixed on Lily. Slughorn regained momentum almost immediately.

"Ah and this is Severus Snape. You should know him; he's a yearmate of yours, simply divine in Potions."

"Yes, I know," said Harry, distracted by the intense look Severus was giving his future mother. Lily looked him in the eye squarely, but didn't smile. She turned to Slughorn after a long moment of strained silence.

"I'm afraid you're going to overwhelm Harry, Professor, though your introductions are terribly helpful," she said, her lips easing into a half-forced smile. "Why don't you let us get some refreshments? He can always meet some of the members later."

Slughorn, easily charmed, immediately grinned. "Oh of course Lily, I didn't mean to be such a bore," he laughed in faux self-consciousness.

"You never are – and I'm sure Severus needs to talk to you," Lily gently insisted, but now ignoring Snape, began to shepherd Harry away. Harry glanced back and saw Severus start to follow, only to be thwarted by Slughorn.

"That was strange," he muttered, almost more to himself.

"Yes, well that's Severus," Lily said shortly. There was something in her voice - Harry couldn't pin down what it was but it was enough to make him wait until they got to the refreshment table, a decent distance from the crowd and a black-haired student Harry didn't recognize who was sampling the fruit dish.

"Severus Snape," he said aloud. "I've run into him a few times." Lily's wince showed she knew what that meant. "He seemed kindof interested in you," he tried to sound casual, but even saying it made Harry's stomach roll unpleasantly. This was almost worse than him being the object of past people's affection.

"We used to be friends." Lily wasn't looking at him, focusing her attention down on the table – but her plate remained empty.

"Friends?" Harry's eyes widened. The memory snapshot – "Leave him alone" – _Mudblood._

"He was the first wizard I met – he lived near me and saw me do magic." Snape had lived near her? The idea was mind-boggling. "He was the one who told me about Hogwarts. We were friends," she repeated almost as if to convince herself. Harry couldn't help looking back at Severus, who was scowling as Slughorn prattled on.

"So what happened?"

"He's a Slytherin. I'm not," she said shortly, finally busying her hands by getting a cup of punch. After she had though, she sighed, seeming to lose momentum. "And I'm Muggleborn. For awhile, it didn't matter," her tone was almost wistful, "We talked, hung out, – but then we grew up," and the hardness returned. "And the world outside is drawing lines."

"And he picked his side?"

Snape had always been an enigma in Harry's mind. In light of his hatred for James and Sirius, his admiration of Voldemort, Harry had never been quite able to understand how Snape could be trusted. Yet he had. Time and again, Dumbledore and others had insisted his trustworthiness. Snape was a Deatheater, a double agent, one who managed to survive based on deceit – but if he could possibly fool Voldemort, how could Dumbledore be sure he was receiving the truth?

He looked at Lily's brilliant green eyes, the ones she'd given him, and remembered the one thing Voldemort never accounted for:

Love.

"Not exactly." Absently, Lily began to stir her punch. "He's not a pureblood, you know."

Harry blinked. "He's not?"

"No." Lily nibbled lip and Harry wondered if she thought she'd said too much. But it was hardly more than Sirius probably could've told him – but he'd never thought to ask. He'd never even considered it, even if Voldemort himself wasn't pureblood. "But he's taken a bad situation and – just let it twist him." She stared down into her cup with a troubled expression. "He's reserved though, calculating; he won't come out and declare where he stands or thinks about. He's too sly." With another sigh, she finally looked up, a touch of sadness shadowing her face. "But he wasn't always this way."

For her sake, he hoped so – and he placed a hand on her arm.

And it occurred to him that she'd already made her choice as she turned away again.

* * *

He almost didn't see the owl at first since it was flying so high, nearly to the roof of the halls – which since Hogwarts was a castle, were lost in shadow.

But with a dramatic bank, the owl began to spiral down, a graceful glide of grey and brown.

"That's James' owl," Lily identified as they both watched him descend, pausing their walk back to Gryffindor tower.

"You can tell?" Harry asked, raising an eyebrow.

"When an owl drops insistent letters to 'be my Valentine' that boom the message in decorative table sized-lettering for a whole week, you tend to remember it," she said wryly. "Though actually, it turned out Sirius stole James' owl to do it."

Harry blinked. "Sirius?" The owl completed his descent with a rather showy loop-de-loop. Definitely James' owl.

Lily rolled her eyes. "It was to embarrass James – not that he's capable of being embarrassed."

The owl, bored with the wait, dropped the letter in front of Harry, making him dive for it, while he settled on Lily's shoulder, hooting softly in greeting. Oh yes, definitely James' owl.

Harry inspected the message suspiciously, but there were no outside marks and – Lily snorted. "You're mad at them already; I doubt they want to piss you off anymore by pranking you."

"You'd hope so," he muttered. Nevertheless, he unrolled the parchment – and blinked.

"What does it say?"

"Nothing." He looked up at her puzzled and she moved to see as well. But when he looked down, he saw he was wrong as spidery lettering began to form across the page. Given his history with things that wrote on their own, he had to resist the urge to drop it and hex – only the reassuring thought of the Marauders' Map convinced him otherwise.

"It must be voice activated," Lily said knowledgably.

_If you could please excuse Harry, this message is for him alone._

Lily's eyebrow rose. "Diplomatic – Remus must have wrote this. But I can take a hint. See you later Harry?"

He nodded. "Yes," and as she walked away, sending the owl on its way, he called, "Thanks for sticking by me tonight."

She turned, walking backward. "Well, I got yah into it; helping you tough it out is the least I can do."

She winked and he laughed as she rounded the corner, before refocusing on the message.

_Please don't destroy this message or stop reading or anything – we really just have something to say and we couldn't figure out a better way to get your attention. _

**Not without sticking our feet down our mouth.**

_**Or banners.**_

The writing was replaced by a demo of the group doing the former (the James figure actually did it with an ease denoting practice, while Sirius' hopped up and down) while the banner hung above them, flashing apologies, and his mouth twitches treacherously.

_So if you could possibly grant us some grace, please listen._

The message faded and nothing replaced. He frowned. "Uh more?" he said, feeling a little foolish. Nothing happened. It had better have not been a prototype. He shook it lightly.

"Ah," Harry whirled around to find the whole group. "We thought the apology would be better in person," Remus explained, before James took the lead.

"We're really sorry Harry. We shouldn't have pushed so hard and- well, we hit on sensitive topics," he said with a wince. "It's just, we've been together so long and been through so much together; we don't have too many secrets from each other." No one dared look at Remus. "And it's hard to, well, add someone else in," he paused, knowing the difficulty of what he had to say next, but unable to not go there. "Maybe if you'd just ans-"

Remus started in disbelief at the blatant hypocrisy, but surprise of all surprises, Sirius pushed in front of James.

"You have secrets," he stated bluntly, cutting off James who stared at him in shock, but Sirius only gave a shrug. "We all have stuff we just won't, can't talk to other people about–" his eyes grew distant for a second, before snapping back, "and I can't just demand you to share. If you want to share, that's your business and – I, _we_'ll" he corrected, "leave that to you."

And Harry couldn't speak.

Sirius…

And so, he told them.

* * *

"My parents were both against You-Know-Who and it got them killed. I went to live with some Muggle family," he snorted, "They don't much like magic, but-" Petunia's pale face – she _agreed_ "they still took me in. My godfather kept in touch and all, but he was involved in the war too."

James hated the word that was slowly seeping into wizard speech. A war.

"And," Harry's voice hitched. "he was killed a few months ago."

There was a long moment of awkward silence. They were in their dorm, arrayed on their various beds – each alone in their different worlds.

"Went down fighting – way I'd want to go." He knew Sirius was offering his own awkward wry comfort, but his chest constricted. He managed a strained smile.

"Yeah, figured that," he swallowed and foraged on. "Their death was what got me this though." He brought a finger up to his scar, tracing the jagged lines. "Damn wizard didn't get to complete it. Just missed the finishing stroke." He added another line, transforming the lightning bolt into a sideways M. It was true – in a way. _Marvolo_.

His face darkened and no one asked the name.

Who let someone his age fight this war? James was horrified. He resolved to himself that he'd never let his children…

He'd protect them. With his life, if it came down to it.

And looking into Harry's shadowed green eyes, he had the chilling thought – it just might.

* * *

As of the fin of this chapter: I AM OPENING UP MY UNIVERSE!! That means: anyone who wants to use 'Flighty' can. (This may help to tide certain people over during update intervals.) **I will still be updating, but the major dynamics of this fic have been stabilized, for the most part. Up next: Moony's secret.**

Only one rule – keep the spirit of this fic: focus on the guys' buddy dynamics, no slash, minimal romance. I'd prefer in-universe works, but if you're just dying to have Harry's secret come out – you can do it. (Gotta find a way around the Unbreakable Vow though.)

**Tell me when you write your fic – I'll read and review it! If it's really good, I'll even promote it here.**


	26. Marauders in moonlight

Thanks all my wonderful reviewers!

Coffee, prongsies.lady, kittycow2004, MoonPuppy4eva, **Zed-****Azrael**** (-flush!-),** BumblingFool, hiddenprincess818, majorbookluver, nazgurl, tunfiskur, Sapphire1022, arrjaydee, **Mariano's-twins (OH MY**, Untamed of Wildwind, crazyme03, Latisha C, gin-kags, iamkagomeiloveinuyasha, kittycow2004, Kyna'vyra, anon, **hpanai**** (I respect that, good luck!)**, **Lady Starlight so kiss my a... (LOL!),** Carus, Taleitha, the werewolf gal, Armew, kakura sagami, **CrystalMind**** (cool),** sirius james, PurpleMango2010, Nosi, sukanya, sweet-babie-phoenix, **TheBlackSpider**** (just practice!!),** Kriti, shikamaru the nerd, Riker15, LovelyLittleAngel144, **kawaii-rini**** (LOL!),** frankthetankroxagain, no name, beauty0102, TBooki, **Of-****butterbeer****-and-frogs (-blush-),** PaddysGal, Puella Deorum, mystery gal, Catwarrior, fatcakes, **Aldavinur**** (absolutely!),** slayerette0, **petites ****sorcieres**** (absolutely!), **Yabberli, 4 the luv of Vincent, Serpent91, kittycow2004, DaisyAnimeluvr, **Nessa19 (****Feliz****Año**** Nuevo!), **Dadaiiro, Attila's Wife, Iriomote Yamaneko Nokomis, fattoad, Nights Silhouette, Foxpad (oops), Ellyanah, sparkling-stone, Clovergirl22, **Viridian (ooh thanks!),** Norwegian Moonflower, Following Padfoot's Pawprints, Maradon, lilly, Zuzanny, venusserenade, abscond, **mel92 (no idea how many**** more** fufu.a.k.a.speechless, stefunny2010, **Ava Monroe (huh),** Marauder Madness, MdnightRose, BladeMaxwell-GoddessofDeath, **Stardawn****lol** lilyre and livvyg, Kelpie Green, **ValorieJueles**** (agree with****Remus****, but otherwise...),** crystalbladedragon, Alexis8907, m-girls, Estel Ashlee Snape, superkawaiifoxy, and **ashez2ashes (you should know I love ****fangirl**** gushing ;) and LOL!! I might use some of those jokes!!)**

I have to admit, I'm pleased so many liked the non-dramatic apology – I just felt this fic has been so much 'drama, drama-drama.' (Sorry, just half-saw 'How to lose a guy in 10 days') Anyway, this is a short chapter, but two more coming will be coming within the next two weeks. This chapter was supposed to be longer, but it just wasn't getting fully written, so I had to break it up.

* * *

Hold Me While I'm Here-

Chapter 26: Marauders in Moonlight

* * *

"So this is the map."

Sirius dropped it in Harry's lap as if it wasn't a peace offering, a sign of trust, but merely an afterthought. The way he watched him intently however, even as he casually sprawled out on the bed opposite, James beside him, belied the gravity of the moment. Harry was not oblivious to the still wary look in the other boy's eyes.

Sirius had left giving answers to Harry's discretion – but he obviously still had questions.

"The Marauders' Map," James said, unable to display it without pride. He tapped it with his wand. "I solemnly swear I am up to no good."

Harry smirked. "That's some password." James grinned in appreciation.

"Shows where everyone in school, even staff," he steamrolled over any possible inference to its single deficiency, "as well as all secret passages, trick hallways and the like. It'll even give cues to remind you how to access them."

"'Cause _someone_ always forgets," Sirius muttered, looking pointedly at Peter who flushed.

"This school is too big to remember everything!" he protested from his spot beside Remus.

"It also shows the grounds up until the Forbidden Forest," James pointed out, leaning forward and ignoring the side commentary.

Harry hmmed appreciatively, letting the familiar feel of the parchment and sight of sprawling black lines comfort him. James continued his tutorial, tactfully skimming over the reason why the map was made – just for better pranks apparently. In reality, the map had been only an amusing challenge until its tactical importance for full nights had been realized – the assurance of never being caught by a teacher and being able to track each other was extremely helpful.

Harry let James talk, his eyes idly scanning the document. He finally raised an eyebrow, breaking into James' tale of how many drafts they'd each made and then fought over which was more accurate. "Why is there a trail of hearts trailing Lily?" James flushed as Sirius grinned wickedly.

"Why the dear Lilyflower always has _someone's_ heart trailing after her-" James shoved him, bright red, and Sirius broke out laughing.

"It's just Sirius' really irritating way of ribbing us if we might possibly have a crush." Remus snorted.

"Might possibly?" he mocked and James shot him a glare, huffily crossing his arms.

"So why Amilee Grenleen?" Harry asked, reading another name.

Remus snatched the map, his face turning a redder shade than James. "Padfoot! I told you to take that off! I don't have a crush on her!"

James sneered, pitching his voice higher. "Well, if 'you might possibly.'"

Sirius sniggered uncontrollably and Harry gave into the wave of merriment.

And suddenly, he was one of them again.

* * *

Harry had always wondered about his parents.

Learning bits and pieces, seeing into the Mirror of Erised, getting the pictures from Hagrid, meeting Sirius, learning about the Marauders, seeing into the Pensieve – all the peeks and glimpses had merely reinforced the reality of just how much he didn't know.

He'd idolized James for so long. He'd been proud of the stamp of his father, which made everyone who'd known James take a double-take upon meeting him. His courage, Quidditch ability, his loyalty to his friends – Harry had secretly aspired to the same.

And Lily, from whom he got his eyes, the sister of Petunia, whom had not-so secretly loathed her. He'd heard of her intelligence, her good humor –

Seeing them in conflict in the Pensieve had been mind-boggling, horrifying, sickening. All he thought he knew was tested and he hadn't been able to understand Sirius' or Remus' nostalgia. Sirius, who had been his uncle-father, fleeting and gone far too quickly, known too shallowly.

The images he had of his parents lacked reality, because he had never had a chance to base them on reality. He'd never been able to know them, watch them, observe them, see their foibles as well as their strengths – and struggle with recognizing their humanity.

It had hurt to resign himself to that.

Only now he didn't.

Already he had seen both James and Sirius in their positive and negative lights, their jealousies, their rivalries, their brotherhood, their generosity, their loyalty. And Lily, he had hopes, he would be able to do, see the same.

So he settled in with the Marauders again, a peace with an underlying hint of uneasiness – but peace nonetheless.

And they gave him grace.

* * *

Harry was the first to notice, his eyes automatically flicking to where he had sat for the better part of a week. "Hey where are the girls this morning?"

Sirius' look was grim as he flicked through the _Daily Prophet_. He got it every other day and always skimmed it while they ate breakfast, something Harry had never thought to associate with the hardly studious Sirius. But then again, Sirius hated to be unaware of what was going on, especially if he couldn't be part of the action, so perhaps it wasn't so surprising. "Probably with Marna."

"Something happen to her?" James asked, looking up from his eggs and toast.

Sirius spread his paper, pointing at the third page, his face never changing expression. Breaths caught when they realized what he was pointing out: a list of obituaries.

And on the eighth line: Angelica Wimblee. Leaving behind a husband and daughter, Marna Wimblee.

Harry's stomach rolled. "For unknown reasons?"

"Bullocks," Sirius sneered. "It's _Avada __Kedavra_, but they just don't want to say it."

Hearing the words from Sirius' mouth made him almost vomit. He heard Sirius talk on – about how they didn't want to alarm the soddin' public and their stupidity as wizards got picked off – and only he could think – this was their, his past and their, his future?

Remus noticed his nausea, pale face, hands gripping the table first. "Sirius," he hissed, before turning to the boy next to him. "Harry, why don't we go get some air?" He gently laid a hand on Harry's arm as the rest of the boys immediately quieted sympathetically.

He breathed deep. "No, I'll-I'll be okay."

Sirius laid down the paper, his face dark as he looked away; James apologized round-aboutly and deftly changed the line of conversation.

There was no more talk of death.

He didn't have to explain himself – and it felt like he was finally home.

* * *

"You guys can't risk it."

Sirius' eyes narrowed. "Moony-" he hissed, glancing at where Peter was distracting Harry with a question, rather unsuccessfully, around the next bookcase.

Remus rounded on him. "No, I don't want you to come if you have to pull a stunt like last time." Sirius gritted his teeth, but didn't defend it.

James took over for him. "When he first arrived, I said he wouldn't stand in between us and being with you on full moon nights. I meant that Remus." The reminder of his friends' devotion made Remus waver and James pressed the advantage. "I promise we won't do anything that'll put our headway with Harry at risk."

Remus looked around at both of them. He sighed. "If you can't, it's okay. Tomorrow's the match with Slytherin, you guys need to be in top form for them."

Sirius snorted. "Please, we could beat them in our sleep."

James puffed up his chest, playing the part to dispel the somber air. "As if Slytherin could ever get the better of us."

"Of course not," Remus said sarcastically, finally turning away. "It's not like they have any talent at all compared to the likes of the fantastic duo Black and Potter."

"Hey! Do I detect an attempt to mock our excellence?" Sirius' haughtiness was comical.

"Oh, never."

* * *

The plan was simple – they didn't really have one.

Remus excused himself from dinner, pale and moaning as he clutched his stomach – "It must be food poisoning!"

Accordingly they escorted him to the Infirmary, where Madame Pomphrey, aware of the timing, played along. Harry pretended to believe that Remus could possibly be food poisoned from the elf-run Hogwarts kitchen and told him to rest up and saying he was sorry Remus would most likely miss the match the next day. The werewolf's following sulk was not feigned.

However, after that all James had was a suggestion that the night before a big match, they should get some very early rest. Sirius thought this was lame, but given his last scheme, he was overruled.

Harry took the bait though, even fake yawning – "These past few weeks really have taken a lot out of me!"

And so the boys went to bed.

* * *

James and Sirius peered into Harry's bed, whispering from an appropriate distance in order not to disturb him.

"He's gotta be asleep, I haven't heard him move in half-an-hour." He couldn't sound completely convinced though, considering they'd only been 'to bed' that long.

Sirius uneasily rubbed a hand over his wand. "I still say we put up sound wards," he mumbled. "What if he wakes up while we're returning?"

"We'll deal with it if it happens – some early morning ritual or whatever," James dismissed. "And no sound wards, we promised Remus nothing questionable."

"Questionable?" But Sirius let the issue lie as they went to collect Peter – who had ended up fake sleeping a little too successfully.

"Peter!" Sirius hissed, but with a few shakes and a hand over his mouth, they managed to wake him soundlessly and hurry out of the room to the Shrieking Shack.

And they were able to arrive just in time for Remus to turn to them, surprise lining his features.

"Flighty's out like a light," Sirius forestalled, "– without help," he quickly amended at Remus' pointed look.

"But-"

Remus' eyes turned to James who looked at in determination. "This is worth it."

And the last lines of worry faded on Remus' face even as the transformation began.

"Show time."

* * *

Harry was trembling – he'd had to wait for the Marauders to be successfully away before claiming his broom and invisibility cloak and going out the window. Arranging the cloak to stay put while he was annoyingly difficult and he ended up having to camouflage the broom and himself with Disillusionment Charm, just in case.

But it was worth it.

Hovering over the forest, breathlessly waiting –

He was about to see Prongs. Prongs in all his antlered glory and Padfoot – Padfoot as he was meant to be, not a skeletal Grim picked clean by Azkaban.

He fidgeted, zooming back and forth in controlled zips, until finally at the edges of the forest – his breath caught.

Prongs.

The stag shook his antlers in the full moon light, ginger fur silvered, and – he was magnificent. Harry's palms itched. What would it be like to feel the weight of those antlers? To stand next to him? Feel his coat? Was his nose velvety? Was he like a normal deer? What did a normal deer feel like anyway? Prongs pawed the ground and – he was magnificent.

Padfoot appeared with the lumbering form of a werewolf. And his breath caught again.

He _was_ massive, a bear-dog lumbering beside the silvered gray form leanly weaving through the forest, snapping at each other playfully.

His eyes returned to Prongs as if by magnetic attraction, the stag towering over his four-pawed companions – but then he noticed a patch of fur of a different kind and his blood spasmed –

Wormtail – he made his eyes look away – focus on Prongs, damn it!

Moony lifted his head, inquiring – Padfoot a second behind him, towards him – and Harry froze.

But after a moment, Padfoot just tossed his head and bumped Moony. They turned into the forest and bounded away.

And everything in Harry just ached to follow them, to watch and be with them, but the Forest was too closed for his broom and with their senses, he was better not risking it.

It didn't stop him from hovering over the Forest, snatching glimpses for the next few hours.


	27. Up here in the stratosphere

They've gotten rid of all my interchapter spacing!! Grrr!! Do you have any idea how annoying that is? I have to go back and re-upload all the chapters!!

Okay so the two weeks didn't happen, but I swear, every month _at least_ there will be a new chapter, EVEN IF I HAVE TO PULL AN ALL-NIGHTER THE LAST NIGHT OF THE MONTH!!

Recommendation for Marauder fic: **You Want to Make a Memory by Potter. **It's amazing!!

* * *

Thanks to all my wonderful reviewers!! Especially the multiples!!

C, oXXb00kw0rmXXo **(great recommendation!! And Rona? -raises eyebrow- Ah, ah, good idea - but they'd take precautions against that. It'd have to be some kind of veiled comment like 'remember, he's not your Sirius' or something. /And it hasn't been so long! -guilty laugh- you haven't seen long for me...)**, shakiya (BIG :)), livin and breathin (-blush- thanks! so many reviews!), Alicia Spinet (actually, in the future...), GuardianOfTime808, Crazy-Physco, Latisha C, Fox Night, Foxpad, moonlyte (-smirk-), Serena Gemini, aimael (ah, ah one more...), Comicrileef, prongsies.lady, Zuzanny (yes, but could he really?), anaticulapraecantrix, MidnightMist (-flush-), hypercell **(lol - wow, you did review a lot! sorry, but you were outvoted about the animagus deal - I have so many fun ideas though, it won't be any evidence of Super!Harry. But thanks for the feedback!)**, Loonalily (thanks! it would be too distracting i know!), Cherry Blossom Angel 18 (lol!), The Metronome Maven, SpazzySalemRavenclaw, **TheNightimeSky (thanks! Just keep at it, the quality of your writing is always improving!)**, Love2Love (lol! There's two counter impulses - to show the improbability of him being accepted, but wanting so badly for him to be accepted. I hover between them.), mare12a, Nessa19, crystalbladedragon, Following Padfoot's Pawprints, sparkling-stone, Vitoria, DaisyAnimeluvr, beauty0102, I-want-to-fly, little mimi, Nights Silhouette, 4 the luv of Vincent, akuma-chan0326, MioneRocks, sweet-babie-phoenix, R.H. Stevenson (thanks ;)), Cherry Blossom Angel 18, Von (yeah, but not sure I'll ever get there!), kittycow2004, stormseaker, Puella Deorum, Yabberli, venusserenade (thank you!), fattoad, mel92, Estel Ashlee Snape, LilyJames addict, Clairful (ouch!), vanchagreen, Clovergirl22, Coffee, dellacouer, lilyre and livvyg, Potterworm, Nutter09, Zed-Azrael (:)), Serpent91, stefunny2010, gatogirl1 – _(Thanks! Conversation just comes to me - the rest is the hard work. And good use of English is essential for a story - that drives me nuts actually. I've read other stories and actually copied them into word and fixed them up, just because it bothered me so much! LOL! I'll defend the use of heredity however, I feel it has strong connotations with parents than the more scientific genetics.)_

To Solo By Choice to address your full moon point. Actually, that doesn't really work - you can see full moons during the day; there are a lot of factors involved where in the sky and when it is visible, so the very definition 'rising' becomes an issue. "A full moon is often thought of as an event of a full night's duration. This is somewhat misleading, as the Moon seen from Earth is continuously becoming larger or smaller (though much too slowly to notice with the naked eye)... For any given location, about half of these absolute maximum full moons will be potentially visible, as the other half occur during the day." So sayeth Wikipedia.

Best quote: CrystalMind – absolutely! thanks!

"One of the things that I love about this story is that Harry's 'reunion' with his unknowing parents isn't perfect. They have the same troubles that any other group of teens would in getting along."

* * *

27) Up here in the stratosphere

* * *

Harry was on Cloud Nine – no Ten, no Nineteen, well the magical equivalent of the highest reachable stratosphere!

It had to be pretty high, right?

"Good morning Marauders!" he finally burst out, snapping the room's drape to the side. He had tried waiting, he really had – and he'd succeeded for exactly forty-three minutes. Not that he was counting.

Groans issued from the occupied beds. Sirius grunted into his pillow as James flailed an arm – "No light, no light!"

"C'mon we have to be at the pitch in fifteen," he said breezily, poking at the lump in Sirius' bed, the exposed arm in James'. He zigzagged between them before fiddling with his Quidditch outfit yet again, a smile threatening to break the seams of his mouth.

Moony and Padfoot had tussled last night, while Prongs stood over them, somehow managing to maintain an air of lofty tolerance for their antics. Then Padfoot had snapped at Prongs' legs and they'd ended up in crazy mad-hap race through the forest.

Harry could still feel the adrenaline hours later.

Prongs, Padfoot and Moony!

"Come on guys! The weather's gorgeous," he pounced on the window again, eagerly taking in the clear sunny day. He felt like he could take on the world at the moment, let alone some Slytherin players. "The Slytherins don't stand a chance!"

At the reminder of who they were playing, James groaned again before finally emerging from his covers. A thump from somewhere behind him confirmed Sirius had done so as well, less elegantly. Instantly, his Quidditch robes were heaped on him – and Sirius blinked as the same was presented to him.

"Oy Flighty, what's got you so zippy?" His eyes trailed the newcomer as he went to poke the completely covered lump in Peter's bed. Harry turned, idly wondering just what spell he could get away with waking the rat.

"Slept well," it took real effort to contain his giddy grin, "– and looking forward to the game as well. You guys not sleep so well?"

He ignored the wary looks exchanged, beginning to hum.

"Not really," James said though.

"Kept tossing and turning," Sirius added slowly, eyes intent, "good thing you're a sound sleeper."

Harry nodded distractedly, circling the room again as Peter said something muffled about getting more sleep 'cuz not play and the other boys began to shrug into their robes.

"You two are real slow pokes this morning. Hmm, at this rate, the match will be worth missing."

"Hey!" the two chorused at the insult.

But Harry was on the move again, retrieving a small bag from his nightstand. He was still humming under his breath.

"Maybe this will help?" Opening the bag, he presented a small bottle to James, Sirius immediately ambling over, robe half-on, to look over James' shoulder.

"Pep-me-up?" Sirius read aloud.

"Have it just in case," Harry forestalled any questions, "at least it'll wake you two up."

The two boys looked at each other for a long moment until James shrugged. Given their long night, they needed any edge they could get to match the Slytherins.

"Sure."

* * *

James made a mental note: NEVER give Sirius 'Pep-me-up'. Honestly, he should've known better. He could only blame a slow-functioning tired mind. The house elves still refused to give _anyone_ in Gryffindor coffee and certain female portraits still giggled whenever Sirius passed.

Moodiness plus a stimulant tended to make Sirius hyperactive. By the time they got to the pitch, Sirius was almost literally bouncing off the walls, in such a cheery mood he matched Harry – though he talked about twice as fast and James was pretty sure Harry was secretly sneaking horrified glances at him.

It made warm-up interesting to say the least, though. The captain Hasselgrove didn't know what to do with him – he kept zooming around the still yawning team, chiding this player, hitting on the fifth-year blond Chaser shamelessly, before immediately zipping to correct the 'slight tilt' of his non-morning person fellow Beater.

James thanked all the powers that could possibly be that Sirius at least had a fast metabolism. By the time they approached the pitch, Sirius had settled into his normally energetic self. And James kicked off with a grin.

* * *

Harry was multitasking, keeping an eye out for the Snitch while he admired Sirius and James in action. They were a really pair on the field, James weaving in and out, Sirius banking to give a Bludger a solid whack, and he absently pictured Ron and he in their place – not that they'd be anywhere as coordinated.

Lost in his ruminations, even as he scanned for that glint of gold, he completely missed the 'thwack' of a Bludger hit from below him.

And he only barely realized the whistling sound of the approaching Bludger coming straight at him.

Harry veered sharply, feeling the breeze as the Bludger passed him, abruptly frisbeeing to come at him again. He jetted away, unable to shake the intense feeling of déjà vu, shooting between two Slytherin Chasers trying to keep the Quaffle from James and Smitern, a seventh-year Chaser. He couldn't help the sigh of relief when the Bludger immediately nose-dived after the Slytherins.

James shot him a concerned look, but Harry just shook his head, before almost bumping into Sirius, who abruptly angled to his right, swearing.

"Cheap shot," he grumbled. Harry felt a swell of affection for his godfather.

"I'm fine," he shrugged it off and shot above to get out of the main area of play again.

The second time it happened, Harry wasn't caught as off-guard – and Sirius was far more vehement, nearly lopping off the head of a Slytherin Beater with his next hit. (Harry would've considered that overzealous except he recognized the Beater from that damn recruiting session…)

The third time, Harry had moved so far out, it took nearly five minutes for him to lose the bludger – and then only by virtue of the fact Sirius came up and distracted the insistent badgering ball.

After that, Sirius didn't take any chances and hovered close. It didn't take a genius to figure out Sirius was watch-guarding him. Harry appreciated the gesture, the thought that despite his misgivings Sirius was being protective of him – his friend – made his chest swell, but it was far less needed than when the Weasleys had stuck like glue to his sides.

He swooped down, nearly intersecting with Sirius.

"Padfoot, you need to get back to the game."

Sirius glared at him "You're an important play-"

"I can handle it. Trust me," the words were out of his mouth before he realized their potential impact on the boy he was talking to. Sirius' eyes narrowed, but he finally nodded.

The Bludgers weren't so much of a hazard as an extremely annoying irritant. Harry couldn't let his eyes wander long to look for the Snitch before he would hear the whistling approach and have to fall back on evasive maneuvers.

It quickly became obvious why the Slytherin Beaters decided it was a priority to target him – the game stayed extremely close, the Slytherin defense wasn't extremely strong, but their Chasers were aggressive and evenly matched James and the rest. They were obviously counting on their Seeker to decide the game. Harry snorted mentally – he'd only lost one game, and that not of his own fault, and he didn't intend to start _now_.

He went into a spiral to avoid yet another Bludger, angling to clip an outlying Slytherin, who barely moved away in time.

Even if the stupid Bludgers were really starting to get on his nerves.

* * *

Anyone who knew Quidditch knew that hitting a Bludger at a Seeker was perfectly legal. Anyone who played it however, knew it was really a shoddy thing to do.

Seeing Sirius' eye tick as he watched Harry spiral to dodge one yet again, James felt an empathetic surge of aggravation. It was just like the Slytherins to prefer the cheap way.

His jaw firmed and he caught Sirius' eye, giving a very slight head tilt. After years of friendship, Sirius and he had developed a number of their very own signs. This one meant 'leave it to me.' The other raised his eyebrow, but gave a nod.

The Slytherins had the Quaffle and as much as his instincts begged the contrary, he let his fellow Chasers make the chase, while he began to edge to the side.

They were approaching the goal, but Smitern was really giving them a hard time, holding them up. One Beater angled toward him, but the other –

Thwack!

James shot through the air, clinging close to his broomstick, so focused on his goal he failed to see Harry dive after the other Bludger.

It had to be perfect execution – he spurred his broomstick faster – the exact right intersection – he carefully angled to just overshoot it – a split-second brake, the Bludger racing toward – he threw his broomstick into a spin, hitting the Bludger with the absolute thickest part of the broom and –

CRACK!

Major league baseball players prayed for that kind of hit.

The Bludger sailed off into the atmosphere – and there was shocked silence in the stands.

James pumped his arm and whooped, sending the crowd into a paroxysm of jubilation.

"Never seen anything like that!" passed from excited Gryffindor to shocked Hufflepuff.

Oblivious to the rest of the game, James basked like the ham he was.

Harry finally drifted toward him, lounging on his broom bemusedly. "Thanks James." He drew himself up, deciding to play along. "And as a reward for your valorous protection," he extended his arm and dropped something in James' hand.

Reflexively James gripped it, even as his eyes widened in shock.

A winged golden ball flailed helplessly in his grasp.

He stared before the fact he was in front of a crowd reasserted itself in his mind.

He grinned and raised his fist towards the crowd.

His cheer was swallowed by the crowd's explosion into sound.

* * *

They just swarmed all over him, like he was deep fried, smothered in chocolate, sprinkled with powdered sugar. It was disgusting.

Lily's nose wrinkled.

"-and it doesn't even make sense. Sure he hit that Bludger, but Harry had already dived for the Snitch by the other Bludger – he's just taking all the credit." Lily huffed, but didn't stop staring, er, glaring at the sickening sight as James preened under the attention.

"Me think the lady doth protest too much," Marna muttered wryly to Kalista who giggled. Harry had to agree – just a little.

"He's not so bad," he defended weakly. He didn't really understand James' showmanship. Where James saw appreciation of a job well done, Harry could only envision scouring eyes, just looking for a weakness or clue to mysteries not of his making. He shuddered to think of James as the Boy who lived.

"Ah Flighty," it was all the announcement Harry had before Sirius had draped a comradely arm around his shoulder. "Been looking for you. Should've guessed you'd be far from the adoring public." He let his eyes flick to Lily pointedly, who accordingly scowled. Before she could defend herself, Sirius' eyes fell on Marna and Harry could feel the other boy's muscles coil.

"Kalista," he nodded to the girl, "Marna. Haven't seen you around lately… You okay?" It was touchably diplomatic from the usually blunt-edged teenager and Marna smiled wanly. Harry bit his lip and Lily's fierceness wilted.

"I will be," she said simply and the pair shared an intense look. Sirius' discomfort remained though and after an awkward moment of silence, Sirius looked away.

"Prongs' ego seems to be approaching critical mass," he eyed his best mate critically and Harry couldn't help his smile as he nodded to the girls a farewell.

"Guess, that means we must go assist, - after all," he added, "what else are friends for?"

* * *

After pulling a somewhat protesting James from his adoring public, their next logical stop was to visit Remus. Sirius tried to suggest perhaps Harry should go back to the common room, something about getting his own accolades for his great playing, but Harry wouldn't hear of it and James just waved Sirius off. There was no tactful way to prevent Harry's accompanying them and with his promise to Remus fresh in his mind, he had no intention of making Harry suspicious or feel singled out.

Once they arrived, they sent Harry in first to make sure Remus was awake. Remus started upon seeing Harry, convulsively clutching his covers to make sure his bruises were hidden.

"Harry, I – well," he floundered before looking behind him, "did you come alone?"

"No, the guys sent me in first." Harry steadfastly ignored Remus' discomfort, turning towards the doors where Peter peeked in. "He's awake!"

Curious, Remus drew aside his privacy curtain, just in time to see the doors deliberately part, Sirius and Peter on opposite sides framing a serious, sticking-out-his-chest James. Raising their wands, trumpets were heard heralding their entrance.

"All hail James, Gryffindor Chaser and triumphant winner of this morn's contest!" Sirius lauded loudly, bowing. Peter hurried to follow suit.

"All hail!" he echoed.

Remus rolled his eyes, unable to stop his grin. "I'm guessing you won the game?" he asked Harry mildly, who was outright laughing. Harry choked on a laugh and nodded.

"Black! Potter!" Pomphrey arrived in a bustle. "Stop that racket this instant! Mr. Lupin may be my only patient this morning, but he still needs peace and quiet!"

Immediately James swept into a matching bow to the others. "Our sincerest apologies Madam-"

"-our highest contrition," Sirius picked up.

"-but we just had to acclaim-"

"-with triumphant praise!"

"-the great victory and accomplishment-"

"-amazing broomwork, fantastic catches-"

"-of the Gryffindor team-"

Sirius swept an arm up dramatically. "-may it reign victorious evermore!"

"-this very morning." James finished, ignoring Sirius' last flourish. Remus was laugh, er, coughing so hard by this time his bed was shaking. Pomphrey's lips had compressed, but she nodded.

"Well, just laud it quieter please," she said, bustling back to her office.

Harry looked after her curiously, but Remus coughed up one last laugh. "I think they disrupted the end of her soap." Harry winced.

Summarily dismissed, Sirius, James and Peter crowded around Remus' bed, pulling up another alongside to sit on.

"So how are you today?" Harry asked courteously.

"Oh, fine," Remus nodded quickly. "Stomach's feeling much better."

"Guess it must've been just a 24 hour thing," James said breezily.

The guys exchanged looks, but Harry merely dug into the bag he'd brought, retrieving a tea set. "That's great," he murmured, setting the tea pot on the nearest nightstand. He reached in again and pulled out a stash of chocolate, which immediately had Sirius sitting up straighter.

"Down boy," James scolded, "you know you shouldn't have chocolate." Peter sniggered as Sirius' face darkened. Harry blinked.

"Why not?" he asked innocently, before remembering – _down boy_ – dogs weren't supposed to eat chocolate.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "I just have a big sweet tooth – but it's fine. It doesn't make me sick or anything," he said heatedly, defiantly reaching for a piece and sticking it in his mouth. James' mouth twitched, but he kept in the laughter, just as Harry did.

"Do you think you can have tea?" Harry asked Remus, refocusing. Caught off-guard, Remus thought hard. After 'food poisoning', could he?

"I think so," he hazarded.

"Depends on the kind." All heads swiveled to Madam Pomphrey, who was leaning against the doorway of her office.

"Guess her show's over," Sirius muttered.

"Um, it's a very mild tea," Harry hedged. "One of my," he paused for a second, his eyes flicking to Remus, "my uncles really likes it and, I dunno, always associate it with comfort."

"What's in it?" she asked. She crossed her arms at his further hesitation. "I need to know to assure my patient's well-being."

Harry took a breath, containing his nervousness, and complied. Pomphrey looked at him intently, making Sirius frown suspiciously, but just nodded her head at the end of the list.

"Sounds good," she said mildly, turning back to her office and leaving the boys to fill in Remus on the game he missed, much to his disappointment.

It was only when they left that she reappeared. "You're very lucky to have such considerate friends," she commented, fussing over the slight mess they left.

Remus smiled. "I know."

"Even your new one, Mr. Patterson. That tea he had, it's good for general health, but aimed at aching bones and joints," Remus froze, "especially helpful for transformations gone awry," she 

said calmly. "Still, it works fine for someone who's just been food poisoned." Remus barely heard her and she just gave him a steady look, before returning to her office.

Remus could barely breathe.

And when he felt better next day, he knew this was another for the list.

The 'Harry knows more than he lets on' list.


	28. A stag by any other name

**General comments: So the all-nighter thing didn't work out. I kinda forgot the whole fact I am finishing up college, finals, senior paper and finding a job, etc. all in this time period. But hey, here I am!**

**The last recommendation is not on fanfiction/net, you have to google it.**

**Coming in as an outsider, Harry is in a very odd position and he can't totally act it away. He is a little too with it – and it's driving them crazy because they can't figure out how, especially since he consciously is playing up the fact he's oblivious.**

**As for Wormtail, -sigh- he is hard to write. He's the ultimate betrayer, yet sacrificial follower. So reviled, but in the past, he's still a faithful Marauder.**

**Lastly, as to how many chapters, that's up to you folks – I'm taking plot suggestions from now on. Most of my big ones have been hit, though I definitely still have more.**

Shout-outs!

Taigh: okay, for one thing, that's assuming he's making changes that are affecting his future. If his reality has already compensated for his presence in the past, then no change would occur. Also, remember, Harry has not learned that much about the Marauders. 'Flighty' was only there for one year – not around for Snape's flashback or even when Lily and James get together – and the map was already created by the time he comes along. If he disappears off the map after this time, then all the most crucial time of the Marauders doesn't include him. What reason would either Sirius or Remus have to bring him up? (Possibly a connection with Parselmouth, but they weren't around when that was a big deal.)

Eriks leadinglady: -scratch head- erm, translation please? I know pulchritudinous, I think…

Asterisks (thanks!), CSnow, Frost Merry Darkness Luver, jupimako, HK, brightsidetolife, ElleGray, CrystalMind (thanks!), -x-sairah-x-, EpisilonCentuari, Mina-chan89, JaBoyYa, Tayla, blueyblonde, Cogster, MidnightMist (-grin-), Murphyangel, MYsweetAngel, DaisyAnimeluvr, Emowolf, Marlicat (good!), Ali-chan et Vani-chan, The Metronome Maven (I'm glad!), keatlin, Floke, dreamer-xx, kittycow2004 (just wait!), overchay, Nicolet, livin and breathin, CanadianWolf, Puella Deorum, HarryPotter4evah, beauty0102, Aimael (thanks!), elodrie, petites sorcieres (lol!), 4 the luv of Vincent, SugarHighDemonChild, no name, parseltonge girl, Haha (never forget quidditch), Zuzanny, Nosi, nazgurl, shakiya, Coolmarauders, Moony, Comicrileef, sweet-babie-phoenix, m-girls, LilyJames addict, LupinandHarry, Viridian **(Pomphrey's been so much fun – and Harry's been too conditioned),** Nessa19, Fox Night, ditzydizzydessy101 (-blush-), Ellyanah, spirit-of-the-season09, LovelyLittleAngel144, Serpent91, Centra-gal86, Quadrantje (that was a last minute addition - I just couldn't contain them!), ME, GuardianOfTime808, Jellyjade Bean, MioneRocks, hypercell (Hey, it's a magic broomstick! You never know!), berndi, WilltheWhompingWillow, Clairful (LOL!! –shiver- there's a horrid thought), venusserenade, lady firefox (thanks!), lotrhpfan1234, fattoad, Von (yup!), Clovergirl22 (I'm not all angst!), anaticulapraecantrix (I agree!), Nights Silhouette, Lexie Lupin, Dark-kyoangel, lilyre and livvyg, carrebear14, Alicia Spinet, Angelwings23123 (glad to help! –wince- bills & taxes incoming for me soon too), FoschiaFreak-17, Stardawn (they noticed, it was just a lot happening at the same time), Morath Isil Durunya, stefunny2010, crystalbladedragon, Iriomote Yamaneko Nokomis, Dura, Lils, dellacouer (-big grin-), Potterworm, Love2Love , Following Padfoot's Pawprints, Me, Estel Ashlee Snape, sukanya, TheNightimeSky (lol!).

Best review - ashez2ashes: "Yes! A new chapter! basks in the new chapterness New HMWIH chapters are like quilts straight out of the dryer... as soon as they come out I want to just roll myself up in them until the warmth slowly fades."

Best line: like whoa (LOL!) "Hooray for slightly pointless reviews that up your number ;)"

Now on with the show!

* * *

28) A stag by any other name

-

-

* * *

"Welcome to the first meeting of the Dueling Club."

Well Harry had to give Ransdale some credit as he took another turn before the double-lined students. He managed to get things done fast once he got an idea. Now, only about a week after he had first mentioned the club to the students, he had officially opened it. Beyond the name, it had little relation to Lockhart's farce of a club.

Then again, Ransdale was an actual Auror instead of a puffed-up imposter.

(Harry had only come to realize that from an off-hand comment from James, who'd been articulating his life goals. Both he and Sirius wanted to be Aurors. Peter had mumbled something about a ministry job; Remus had shrugged and said he'd find something. Harry had suggested teaching, but Remus had only given a bitter smile that made Harry feel like a heel. It was then that James, trying to light-heartedly cajole Remus into joining them in being Aurors, had commented he could be both and do the rotation with Hogwarts. Apparently Dumbledore had arranged for Aurors to rotate as teachers at Hogwarts. Harry thought it was a neat arrangement; given how they went through teachers in his time, this saved a great deal of fuss.)

Mandatory for all sixth and seventh years, Ransdale had split the club into two along class lines, meaning Slytherins and Gryffindors were together. Yay.

"The need for advanced defense of the dark arts has never been more important." Dark eyes scanned the students before him, sizing them up, staring them down. Harry found it striking that Ransdale avoided stating explicitly why. "The eventual goal of this club is perform such maneuvers as shield charms, disarming and dehabilitating spells, and even the more advanced arts, some of which even fully-fledged wizards cannot do." He came to a halt on the other side of the line. "For example, the Patronus charm."

Murmuring broke out. It was involuntary, Harry stiffened – and he regretted it as those sharp eyes immediately latched onto him. But Ransdale went on.

"I'm guessing due to varying family backgrounds and situations, some of you have had more experience in this area," Sirius received a lingering side look here. "So, I would like to gauge your skill levels – and perhaps convince some of you the difficulty of these spells," this time his gaze swung to a trio of late coming Slytherins, who had leisurely strolled into the meeting without any apology.

"Perhaps you would like to start, Mr. Bemley. Choose a partner from among your friends." Harry gave an inaudible sigh of relief. But it was only a delay of the inevitable.

* * *

"Mr. Patterson," Ransdale tapped his fingers thoughtfully on his desk, obviously considering what he would request Harry to try to perform. Not that Harry had more than one guess- "The Patronus charm."

-and of course, he was right.

Ransdale demonstrated the spell for him and Harry tried to look attentive.

He shook out his sleeves, raised his arm, steadied it, cocked his wand then corrected it, asked for a repeat of the pronunciation (Ransdale's face remained serene) and then tried as much as he could to thwart the spell while making it looked like he was still trying. It was harder than it looked – but setting his wand at an odd angle and bungling the last word did manage to set a shot of something straight at the ceiling. Even the Marauders ducked as the ceiling shook.

A shadow of a frown flickered over Ransdale's face.

"Please try again Mr. Patterson," he said pleasantly however. "And it's _Patron-um_."

Harry shook out his arms again. A Slytherin snickered from behind him. "He really thinks a Muggleborn could do it?"

And it didn't mean anything, except he heard the response silky-smooth.

"Muggleborns can never defend themselves-"

_Lestrange –_

"_Expecto Patronum_!"

He was angry, but even so his mind immediately retrieved the moment James had shook his hand – _Welcome! And he'd waited his whole life for that moment – _and it was only as the misty form plumed from his wand that he was remembered exactly why he was trying not to summon his Patronus.

It was just as magnificent as he remembered it, especially with the new glimpses of Prongs he had to compare it too. Easily towering over every object and person in the room, the stag shook his antlers, turning as if trying to find the enemy. Failing that, it stretched its legs, dashing around the side of the classroom to come to a stupefying, momentum-defying stop in front of James. Stock-still and wide-eyed behind his glasses, the stag pushed forward, almost meeting him nose-to-nose. Sirius, who'd been in the middle of grabbing his best mate, to get him unto the ground and safe, stood frozen, face also only inches from the silvery beast.

Finally satisfied with his examination, the stag tossed his head again and sedately trotted over to Harry, who could only cringe inwardly. As he, it, pushed forwards as if to nuzzle Harry, the patronus dissipated, as if it had never been.

Harry wasn't that lucky. He swallowed thickly.

Ransdale simply raised an eyebrow. "Excellent pronunciation," he murmured. "And I must say Mr. Patterson, your school is turning out to be very impressive."

* * *

Remus was getting nowhere. After Harry's little demonstration, Ransdale had assigned the rest of the club time to letting everyone try the spell on their own, with Harry and himself acting as walk-around help aids.

The fact he was getting nowhere wasn't that spectacular, the most anybody had been able to get was a fluffy mist – and that had been the Gryffindor head boy. The Slytherins were less than pleased. They'd gathered in little clumps, trying to both sneer and extort tips from each other at the same time. Slytherin multi-tasking at its finest.

Remus re-adjusted his grip on his wand and sighed. He knew exactly what was his problem though.

Too many bad, tainted memories.

He sighed again and tried again pessimistically. What was even the point?

"Moony, you having some trouble?" Harry sounded surprised and Remus felt a slight, smug pride at the thought. Harry examined Remus' stance and asked him to try again. "You have the basics down," he stated.

"Yeah," Remus gave a faint smile. "Just having a bit of a hard time dredging up a good enough moment." Harry's face immediately softened – and Remus was suddenly struck by the realization Harry might have struggled with that as well. Especially after so much death…

"How about your arrival at Hogwarts?" Remus started to open his mouth, but the blond was already shaking his head, muttering to himself. "No, you hadn't even become friends with the guys yet and then anxiety-" Remus blinked, but Harry was completely immersed. "Hmmm… Why don't you get into position?" he tugged his wand arm up a little higher. "Now close your eyes." Remus looked at him doubtfully, but Harry's face was innocent and earnest and Remus gave in.

"Now let yourself think back. Be ready to cast, but let your mind reminisce, to go back to the exact emotions, thoughts, feelings," Harry drew the words out and Remus felt himself drifting back, trying to sift through the moments of happiness he's had at Hogwarts. Those not tainted by his lycanthropy, his fear of rejection, discovery- "Remember the moment when James and Sirius truly accepted you." Harry's voice was barely aloud and the scene unfolded, James' determination, Sirius' reckless grin, proffered hand – the almost painful joy –

"Now-" His arm, helped a little, swept down.

"_Expecto Patronum_!" His voice was incredibly strong and his eyes shot open to witness, disbelievingly, that something misty and curvy appeared in the air. Harry's clap on the back nearly knocked him over.

"I knew you could do it Remus!" The other Marauders crowded around to also congratulate him.

And then the racing thought struck him – **'truly accepted you'** – and he could only stare at the grinning Harry.

* * *

"Oh come off it Padfoot, that's advanced magic. He was trying not to show off and be even weirder." James brushed his best mate off – and actually demonstrating the fact he was finally starting to understand the new Marauder.

Sirius growled, again dragging James back from following the others. "Not about that; didn't you see what it was?" James straightened.

"Well, I'll admit I'm a bit, flattered," he ran a hand through his hair, a pleased grin coming to his face. "Why shouldn't it be a stag though, big, strapping, powerful creature-"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "You should be more than flattered, _Prongs_, considering it was you."

James froze mid-motion, staring straight at Sirius. "What?"

"That. Patronus. Was. Prongs."

James stared before he finally broke into a body-shaking laugh. "You're barmy, you know that Padfoot?" he began to walk again. "Completely mad as a hatter. Just because it's a stag-"

Sirius ran after him. "Hey, I've seen you remember," he abruptly lowered his voice as they passed some third-year girls who giggled at their passing. "I know your form way better than you do. And I'm telling you, it was you. Ask the others!"

It was somewhat of a pointless request, Remus never had terribly clear memories of his werewolf times and Peter's perspective was far too limited.

"Completely barmy," James muttered again.

* * *

"Um Flighty, could you go down and grab my Exploding Snaps game?" Harry looked up from his book over to Sirius, who was on his stomach, peering under his bed. He raised an eyebrow and flicked his eyes to James, who just shrugged.

"Sure," he shrugged as well and got up.

Sirius waited just long enough for him to get mid-way down the stairs before he jumped to close the door after him. He turned to James.

"Now transform."

James groaned, immediately getting the reason for the ploy. "Padfoot-"

"I _gluto_-ed one of the pieces to the table so we have some time. But not that much, so just do it already!" _(magically glued)_

"What's this about?" Remus almost hesitated to ask. Sirius had that mad 'I've-got-a-theory' gleam to his eyes.

"Just transform!" James rolled his eyes, but finally obeyed. Immediately the lanky teenager was replaced by a towering stag, the brown of his coat seemingly incongruous with his previously black-robed body. Sirius pointed triumphantly. "Notice any similarity to a certain Patronus today?"

Remus and Peter stared. "You have got to be kidding," Remus finally said.

Sirius' face turned annoyed and he gesticulated emphatically. "It was him!"

"Sirius," Remus started in his patient, 'I'm-sane-and-you're-not' voice. He'd had a lot of practice over the years, "the Patronus was silvery and practically see-through. How on earth can you claim it's Prongs' identical twin?"

"It was him!" Prongs' ears flicked to the door and in an instant, dissolved back into James.

"Padfoot, just give it up."

Harry came in the door just as Sirius grumpily slouched on his bed.

"Got your game," he said, then raised an eyebrow as Sirius tried to smother himself in his sheets. "What's wrong with him?"

"Nothing beyond the normal," James replied airily.

"That was some nice spellwork today though, Flighty," Remus said honestly. Harry blushed.

"One of my teachers was concerned about Dementors, you know, how appealing You-Know-Who is to them." The ease with which he brought up _him_ amazed James and Remus. Peter squeaked, but Harry ignored him. "He wanted to make sure we could fight them off if necessary and–" he gave an awkward shrug under the guys' intent looks, "I'm pretty badly affected by them." His face darkened. "Bogarts turn into them when I'm around and so we trained that way."

"Bloody hell," James said reverently.

"And the form?" Sirius reappeared, his hair sticking up oddly due to static electricity and making him look even more eccentric. "Supposed to be something of personal significance?"

Harry's insides froze. Of course Sirius would notice. But he kept calm, seeing James roll his eyes.

He gave a forced chuckle, "I have a friend whose form is an otter – and another who's got a terrier, so I'm not sure that's how it really works."

James laughed. "An otter? Too bad. And ignore Padfoot," he flung his arm over Harry's shoulder, "he's probably afraid his'll turn into some wimpy dog instead of a full-blown stag."

Something sounding remarkably like a growl echoed from Sirius' bed and it took all the self-control Harry had not to burst out laughing.

* * *

"He was my best professor hands down. He taught me a lot." Harry shook his head and Remus thought he heard him mutter something about irony.

Remus let it pass. He'd been biding his time to get Harry alone, finally manufacturing a need to go to the library. Unsurprisingly, Harry was the only one interested in coming along.

They moved further into the stacks and Remus carefully surveyed their surroundings. "So what happened to him?" He barely missed the fall of Harry's face.

His lips compressed. "He quit. Another teacher," Harry's lip curled, "ruined his reputation."

"I'm sorry." Remus was sincere, even as he snuck a peak at the Marauder's Map. No one was around.

"Yeah." Harry skimmed the shelves and picked up a prospective book. Remus felt a pang of guilt; Harry had come to help him. But he needed answers.

"Thanks for the tea by the way." He watched the line of Harry's shoulders tense before lapsing into a shrug. "So how did you know?"

Pregnant silence.

Harry froze, then very carefully replaced the book he was holding. He turned around and leaned against the bookcase. Green met gray. Harry's mouth opened and then he sighed.

"I know you know," Remus said.

The realization had plagued him all day, ever since he'd recognized the significance of that single, simple adverb: truly. Harry had known there was something that had made him fear real acceptance –

_Ignored Snape's hints repeatedly – all references to wolves, howling and biting._

_Heard something from the manticore snakes._

_Tried to cheer me up night before full moon._

_Accepted Sirius drugging him without protest – on a full moon night. Talked about trust issues next morning._

_Accepted excuse of food poisoning, which isn't even fully logical._

_The tea – twice, both after full moons._

And ever since, he'd been wracking his brains, trying to find his slip-up. How had Harry figured it out? So quickly? So easily? It was almost like he'd known all along-

"My uncle is a werewolf." Remus stiffened. "So I guess, when I saw you looking sick around a full moon," he shrugged, "I thought the tea couldn't hurt."

Remus was speechless. Harry really didn't get any breaks.

"Not to mention the guys were freakishly protective of you after; you're lucky to have such devoted friends." Remus nodded almost mechanically. "I'd be lucky to be counted among them." Remus' eyes flew up to his and when Remus didn't say anything, Harry's jaw ticked and his hands fisted. "Werewolf or not, my uncle is a great guy. I have no doubts whatsoever you are the same."

The very corners of Remus' eyes burned and he blinked a few times. "I'm," he cleared his throat, "I'm glad you feel that way."

Briefly, Harry squeezed his shoulder and gave a wry smile. "With Sirius and James so protective, I'd likely find myself at the bottom of the lake spending quality time with the squid if I thought differently, Moony."

Remus cracked a grin. "Not too subtle, is it?"

Harry shrugged. "Not if you know." He looked over his shoulder at the shelf again. "I'm guessing you don't need a book on the possibilities of recycling magical waste then?" Remus' cheeks flushed a little and he shook his head.

As they made their way out of the library, Harry turned to him. "You – are you going to tell the guys? That I know?" He looked worried and Remus felt a stab of empathy. Harry had been on a pretty rough ride with the guys; Sirius would probably just use this as even more reason for his paranoia.

"I think there's been enough drama lately, don't you?"

Harry grinned at him.

And he wondered fleetingly why Harry reminded him so much of James right then. Except James would probably shrug and say there was never enough drama.

No, Remus would tell them when the time was right.

* * *


	29. Up, up and away!

**I've already planned the next chapter – it will be out by the end of the month. It's going to be an important one. I'm not giving any promises beyond them because I don't want to break them. I am dedicated to this story though. As long as I have readers, this story will be updated – I'm sorry about the long breaks. Sometimes I think you all are more passionate about this story than I am. When you review, you lend that to me.**

So thanks to all my reviewers!!

heaven's door for eternity, Twinfetish, batfan7 (party for Peter hmmm- mousetrap lol!), Nosi (oops! Misspelling!), Sukanya (I like that too!), dellacouer (-sigh- **How do you make someone disappear? Hint: how did Peter do it?**), TeahLeafs (bonding moment will come up - at some point), Rebel Goddess (I totally agree with you - what you noted is the kindof story I wanted to read and now write!), Eriks leadinglady, BYoshi1993 (-blush- **you're a guy! do you know how rare male readers are?**), Muria (thanks!), PhantomoftheBasket (thanks for the encouragement!), Liz Wolf (lol!), Lolgirl, Technologirl, shadowbee163, kinty, HPrincess (-blush- oy, not that rich!), satachiha08, zesty cyanide, FantasyDreamer23, MyBloodyAngel, Sapphire1022, greek myths (absolutely!), salixshadow, XxiceflamexX, Drayconette (will do), orange, Aurora Selene Potter-Malfoy, Haruka-Hime, PadfootLover13, dazzel21, Topaz-Pink, HK, Thee-Unknown-Factor, PenguinGirl (argh, trying to get that in!), killing u with umbrellas, Narutos sis and Itachis girl, Kari Minamoto (-blush-), Firey-Moonlight, abbyagapao, rose, Gertyfull Angel, hide1961, Astra Black, APatchOfSunlight (:)), hpanai, gin-kags, Cows are my friends, sunshineysmiles, moonlightshade, quibird, PrettyFanGirl (but I like the whole Potter's son inference in his name), TwilightSarah1414, Latisha C, Mizu1411, Lana-shino (er...), SlytheringRules, Hell's Queen, 14hp1 (all the reviews motivate me!), darkxangelx, storylistener, AbstractDarkness (lol!), Shirokaze Rin, Fk306 animelover, Elvin Flame (thanks!), Muria (thanks!), Sabishii Kage Tenshi, magnetic-starfish, Reggae Groove, CrystalMind, pottercat, livin and breathin, female half - breed, evil-sami-poo, iamkagomeiloveinuyasha, Legilimens31, TatraMegami, HK (OH MY! -flush-), maraudersbanana, EverD, lassie1994, sequoia the squanderer, DarkChampion, Following Padfoot's Pawprints, Stardawn, impteen16, forgotten-magick (lol!), Nights Silhouette, I 4 2 write, Ella Sunn, Catwarrior, coolmarauders, Moony , Marlicat, Zuzanny, Eloisa Skywalker, JaBoyYa, Jestry, MinervaEvenstar, Asterisks, Puella Deorum, Serena Gemini, DotsOnAWall, blueyblonde, Murphyangel, MYsweetAngel, crystalbladedragon, sparkling-stone (awww), Serpent91, HaruJam, JClayton, MidnightMist, LilyJames addict, Clovergirl22, Lady Silverhawk, kittycow2004, Jellyjade Bean (thanks!), Love2Love, Leigh, hauntful yay, green9721, DaisyAnimeluvr, CanadianWolf, stefunny2010, LupinandHarry, oXXb00kw0rmXXo, blackrhino, Mina-chan89, Ava Monroe, Angel-Miko, LovelyLittleAngel144, Teenlaunch, petites sorcieres, TheLastCrumpet, Tomorrows Dust, Iriomote Yamaneko Nokomis, Enchanting Phoenix, carrebear14, sukanya (I so agree!), azillia, fattoad, coffee walnut, CSnow, Nenifer121 (lol!), Coffee, The Metronome Maven, Dawn96, beauty0102, NekoDoodle, Angel'sMystery, Frost Merry Darkness Luver, Comicrileef, lilyre, Elle Gray, Peeps94, Estel Ashlee Snape, Opalalchemy, Viridian, Dadaiiro, digiMist, and hypercell.

Favorite line: Meia-Noite - "it's amusing how his imaginary life turned out to sound so bad like his real one." It has to be though!

* * *

29) Up, up and away!

-

-

_

* * *

_

Dear Ron and Hermione,

_Well, a lot has happened since I last wrote to you. _

There was an understatement if he'd ever made one. It was easier to write this though, then focus on missing them – even if he enjoyed the Marauders' presence so much. Ron and Hermione had stood by him through really hard times, contrasting them to the guys' easy familiarity felt disloyal.

_Some I'll have to tell you in person._

Harry cringed. He could only imagine Hermione's reaction to him getting up close and personal with yet another massive snake, this time without Fawkes' healing tears.

_I've had a bizarre non-date with Lily, which I did manage to get James to crash. I left them alone for barely five minutes though and Lily ended up emptying her drink on him. I officially do not know how they got together. I'm in the Slug Club – only because Lily is – and I had a big confrontation with the Marauders. I had to give them an abbreviated account of the people I've lost…_

Harry swallowed, then crossed out that line. Explaining what he'd told them was too complicated and he didn't want to go into it again.

_I've 'made up' and 'broken up' with the Marauders more times than I care to count. Sirius is still suspicious of me and James seems to vacillate between being an arrogant show-off, faithful friend and a Lily-pining nitwit (Sirius' words, not mine). Remus, though, I think he's going to be a good friend. And Peter…_

Harry paused. What was there to say about Peter? He wanted to wish the rat into non-existence, but he was surely a Marauder. Certainly not as flashy as James or Sirius, but his role as tag-a-long was firmly established. And as much as his future condemned him, Harry had to grudgingly admit he could see the loyal sidekick, not very talented but ready if not terribly willing to face all kinds of difficulties for his friends, so innocuous his Sirius never doubted him. Never questioned his allegiance.

He sighed, feeling his chest tighten. It was at these moments, faced with his future, that the grief rose up again within him, hot and fresh.

_Peter is always around, on the fringe._

_Quidditch is over for now. Apparently they have preliminary matches early so that leaves time later for apparition practice as weather turns cold. Our last match was versus Ravenclaw. I ended up grabbing the Snitch right from under the Ravenclaw Seeker. Their Seeker is new apparently, a second year with talent, but he got too distracted with following the game. Sirius thought it was hilarious – the entire team ended up having flowers 'blossom' at their desks with the message 'Not so bright now, are you?' tattooed on the leaves. The poor Seeker ended up being followed by a Snitch-look-alike the entire next day, which would zoom into his face whenever he was trying to do something. Sirius ended up getting detention for a few days for the whole deal, but I know for a fact James is way better with Transfiguration than him, so I don't think it was a feat he pulled off single-handedly. Remus disapproved, but I think I saw him charm one of the flowers to last longer._

Peter had snickered wildly the entire day. He'd also made a game of catching the 'Snitch' whenever they'd been near the Ravenclaw Seeker – more than once to Harry's surprise. He'd caught himself smiling at the sight, but then turned away. It wasn't just that it was Peter – Harry knew he felt differently about pranks than the guys. He'd been bullied too much growing up to turn a blind eye to the border-line maliciousness Sirius and even James could exhibit. That was going to come up at some point, he just knew it. Yay.

_Anyway, so apparition practice is going on. I kinda wish I could take it, just to get some practice before we take the test and everything, but Dumbledore said something about how apparition involves both time and space. I could end up splinched across time-_

He shuddered.

_-which, yeah, is not a priority for me. I told the guys it had to do with insurance issues. If something happened to me, Hogwarts would be liable and etc. Remus looked puzzled, but the rest of them just accepted it without question. I still go to the practices, just hang at the sidelines. I'm studying for the O.W.L.s then – they got pushed back a little more due to- some health issues. Long story. Anyway, I'd still go just for pure entertainment value. There hasn't been any serious splinching, but someone has lost a shoe – and Peter nearly flipped when he thought he lost his nose. Sirius, actually aiming for Severus, had zapped him with a partial disappearance spell. It took nearly fifteen minutes for the whole ruckus to calm down and Sirius only avoiding detention because Peter pleaded against it. Meanwhile, James had turned Severus into a solid mass – and he got detention. The whole trouble staying out of trouble? Totally hereditary._

That had only been a sidebar though. A few days before, he'd been talking with James on the way to a class when they'd walked into the tail-end of a tiff between Severus and Lily. He didn't know what they'd been arguing about, but he had seen Severus' grab for Lily's arm when she made to leave in a huff. James saw red and only the mediation of Lily had ensured the confrontation remained spell-less. Sniping between the boys had increased monumentally from that day on. Harry was starting to realize just how much the two boys' animosity of each other was tied in with her.

Harry hesitated to write that. He hadn't mentioned his mother's, relation to the Slytherin to Ron and Hermione. In some ways, it'd make it too real. He shook his head.

_Another time, Sirius pretended he'd lost his entire arm, blood spurting and everything. No one was going to take him seriously, but James nearly lost it – when he realized Sirius was faking, he threatened to tear it off for real. They didn't talk for a whole day after that. Remus told Sirius it served him right. Remus actually is the only one of them who's met with any success._

_In other news, Sirius is dating a Gryffindor fifth year, Patrisia Roan. I didn't even know he was interested, but all of the sudden, he's disappearing into the Astronomy Tower to have starlit evenings with her._

Harry frowned. The whole thing seemed a bit strange to him – when he'd asked Remus, the boy had evaded the question, just muttering something about a coping mechanism.

(What Harry didn't know was that due to Sirius' background and temperament, he wasn't considered prime boyfriend material. His good looks got him some date offers and appreciative glances, which he tended to take up when he was frustrated with the guys and needed to distract himself. To be sure, Patrisia had no idea who she had to thank for him deigning to take her out a few nights.)

This hadn't prevented him from helping James put trailing hearts on her name on the Marauders' Map or charming Sirius' wardrobe to give him pre-date tips.

Sirius was not amused – which just made it funnier in Harry's mind.

_The downside is she has Ravenclaw seventh year sister and apparently when they met, she spent the whole time psychoanalyzing him. You can just imagine how Sirius took that. James added that Ravenclaws had a habit of doing that – it's really funny, the whole House has officially sworn off James since he's too 'hung up' on Lily. Remus said they signed a contract! (James actually blushed – just when I was beginning to think nothing could embarrass him!)_

Harry grinned. He wondered if Ravenclaws still had that tendency. Of course that whole conversation had gotten awkward pretty fast…

"So Flighty, what about you?" James asked, reclining back on the chair he was on and ignoring Peter's continuing snickers.

Harry blinked. "What about me?"

"You got a girl back home?"

"What? No!" The protest was a bit too vehement – but Harry had never imagined chatting about girls with his father as a quid pro quo. He thought he'd gotten past all the surreal moments. He cleared his throat. "No girl."

"What about that Mona chit?"

"Mione," he corrected reflexively at the same time as Peter. Sometimes the other boy had a mind for details that staggered Harry. (He always referred to Hermione as Mione; it came with the whole disguising his past baggage.) "No, we're just friends." James raised an eyebrow. "Besides, I think she and Ron are going to end up together. They had this whole jealousy thing going on last year. We had a dance at school and Ron tried to invite her as a last resort. She accepted someone else's invitation and Ron was ready to chuck nails. They go back-and-forth a lot, making each other mad."

Remus grinned. "Guess there's hope for you then James."

"They ever kiss and make up?" Peter wheedled, but James ignored both comments.

"C'mon there's gotta be someone you're interested in."

"Well there was a girl last year, but it was really awkward. Her boyfriend died recently." He pushed away thoughts of the tears glittering in Cho's eyes and the press of her lips.

The guys shuddered at the mention of death. "Yikes," James muttered.

He didn't want to explain how. "The only other girls I know well at all are underyears." That was kinda of sad when he thought about it. He did know the girls on the Quidditch team, but they were all older and more buddyish. Not many options when he thought about it.

"Underyears are fine."

"But I don't think of either that way. One's my best friend's little sister and the other," he tried to come up with a good adjective for Luna, "she has a very unique view of reality."

"A unique view?" Peter's face wrinkled up. "Is that like saying she's got personality – and not looks?"

Harry frowned. "She's not, er, so bad looking." To be honest, the paraphernalia she hauled around and the way she talked usually drew attention to that instead.

"You never know," James brushed off. "What color hair did your mum have?"

Remus shot James a look, but then relaxed when Harry just looked confused. "Prongs has this theory of hair heredity," he explained.

"Fiery redheads run in the family," James said, almost proudly. "Doesn't mean you'll definitely end up with one, but it's a preference thing."

"Red hair." James grinned.

"Rad – just Lily's, uh-"

Harry rolled his eyes. "I think I know she's off-limits by now – I mean if the whole of Ravenclaw knows-"

"They did not sign a contract!"

Remus couldn't help a grin. "Sure James, whatever you say."

_Meanwhile, classes are going fine. Potions is hard, though Severus is breezing through – after all his talk of how arrogant James was, he's just as bad! Smirking git. Ransdale's started a dueling club. The first day was bad, he had us do patroni – but since then we've been doing less challenging shield defense spells. (By the way, Hermione, are patronus shapes random sometimes and significant other times? If not, what's up with the otter?) He's definitely got his eye on me though. It's funny though, I know those spells so well because of the twins' havoc rather than D.A. I'm almost tempted to tell the guys that, but they really don't need any ideas._

_We're already working on our next major prank. I never thought I'd enjoy pranking so much, but now I see why the twins love it so much – if I had more free time in real life, I'd so take this up. It's just – fun. I didn't realize how much work went into it though…_

* * *

"So how strong do you think the force will be?"

"Well it won't shoot you through the roof if that's what you're thinking," Remus said testily. Harry looked over at him sympathetically. They had a major essay due the next day and Remus hadn't proofed his yet. Not that he needed to, in Harry's way of thinking. But James and Sirius had insisted on doing the preliminary spell testing now.

"I'm hoping for upside down, but I think we'll have to look further for a spell for that," James said, musing aloud.

"If it did flip you upside down, what's to stop everyone's robes from going that way also?" Peter asked worriedly.

Sirius snickered. "That'd be great-"

"We want people not to notice at first though, to be able to walk and have class though, make it just a really weird day," James cut off.

"I'm guessing more spell looking then?" Harry asked wryly. "You guys sure put a lot of thought into these pranks."

"That's what makes us Marauders," James flashed him a grin.

"We ready yet?" Sirius toed the tape line in front of him. They were in an out-of-the-way corridor of Hogwarts. James and Sirius stood on one side of taped box that Remus was still kneeling by, though on the other side. Peter and Harry stood by Remus.

Remus sighed and tapped the stone floor one last time. "I think so – I'm just not sure how high the anti-gravity will work."

"Thus the test!" Sirius said brightly.

Remus stood. "Right."

It was at that moment, of course, they heard the hurried footsteps.

Peter squeaked. "Hide!"

The next minute, Harry found himself crammed between Remus and Peter, behind a fidgeting suit of armor. Peter's elbow was lodged in his stomach and he hissed for him to move it.

Sirius and James were pressed against the opposite wall with no conveniently placed knight.

"Moony, check the map!" James hissed, collecting himself.

Squirming, Remus withdrew the map from his cloak.

"_Lumos_," Harry whispered, offering a light for his squinting eyes.

"Thanks – Molly Ringwood." They exchanged looks. "Gotta be an underyear. Probably lost."

"An underyear?" James asked, his voice low but carrying across the quiet hallway. "Okay, I can distract her." Straightening, he unconsciously ran a hand through his hair and rushed forward, squirting the square. Sirius, behind him, wasn't so lucky.

"Hey, why do you-" He'd only stepped half-over but he rocketed up, uneven propulsion sending him overbalanced into the middle of the square. Lounging, Sirius shook his head like a dog. "Whoa." He looked down. "Ooh, it really works!"

"Padfoot!" James turned back, but it was clear he couldn't do anything.

"We're screwed," Peter muttered.

The footsteps got louder and glancing over Remus' shoulder, Harry could see Molly was about to turn the corner – "James, she's-"

Several things happened at once. Cursing under his breath, James did a tuck and roll to get to their side of the hallway. Molly came around the corner, a lost first or second year if Harry had ever seen one, clearly frightened by being lost and alone in Hogwarts and ran right smack into the anti-gravity square. Sirius tried to get her attention, but it was too late.

Molly began screaming, clearly overwrought, and when Sirius tried to reach her to calm her down, the scream went higher pitched. Resigned, Sirius started to wave them away.

"We have to get them down."

Remus was looking at the map. "Filch is on his way," he announced. "And so is Flitwick – he must be on duty tonight."

Peter scuttled over to James and began to tug him down the rest of the hallway. "We gotta go."

Sirius, twenty-five feet in the hair, rolled his eyes, mouthed 'I'll be fine' and repeated his 'scat' motion. James cursed, but let Peter drag him down the hallway and the rest made their escape.

"Would yah stop screaming please!! Gonna bust my eardrums!" they heard as they left.

"So the anti-gravity works," Peter said weakly as they finally trudged into the common room. James just glowered and stalked up to the dorm room.

Remus shook his head. "Ignore him. Prongs always has to save everyone." Harry tried to ignore the stab of pain that thought gave him.

"Back to the drawing board then," he said instead.

* * *

His periods of solidarity with the Marauders had always been short – and with Remus' secret hanging over all their heads, Harry fully intended to make this period count.

But as the month wound down, he honestly forgot the dilemma facing Remus and the rest even as the third full moon approached.

Halloween came first.

* * *


	30. Spooks on you

**Happy 5th year anniversary! (I know it's awful, but hey why not celebrate the fact I haven't abandoned this!) And thanks to your feedback, I realized I did have to spice up Halloween some more than I was planning. So viola! Try to figure out what happens to Harry – I'll explain more next chapter!**

* * *

_For the record, Molly was NOT of Weasley fame. The Weasleys are older than James' crowd – so they've already graduated. Actually, as dumb as it might seem I was trying to evoke Molly Ringwold of '80s fame. Why? I don't know – just had her movies on the brain lately._

At least two male readers! So strange, I'm so used to assuming everyone's female!

Thanks to all my reviewers!

Pronsies Laur, CrystalMind, salixshadow, Puella Deorum, Nosi, Narutos sis and Itachis girl, obsessed reader, ElysianWinter, Nenifer121, forgotten-magick, beauty0102, PhantomoftheBasket (nope, got it from a reader!), Hiya! (I'm glad you liked that), :), TheWizardingWorldsLastHope (hey!), Stardawn, Muria, Obsessive Child, Lolgirl, kat, little mimi, APatchOfSunlight, petites sorcieres, crystalbladedragon, LilyJames addict, Mariano's-twins, Lady Shadow Of Time, 14hp1, TheLastCrumpet, Aimael (sweet!), stefunny2010, heaven's door for eternity, Angel-Miko, blackrhino, akeria26, JClayton, Serpent91, HelKat, StarDotStar (thanks!), Asterisks, livin and breathin, Kylani, PrettyFanGirl (ah, someone checks!), Konoha's Kage, BYoshi1993 (Lol!), Estel Ashlee Snape, Lana-shino, Lilyre, Drayconette, AkaiXTsubasa, Sabishii Kage Tenshi, Teenlaunch (honestly? No idea), Nights Silhouette, and NekoDoodle.

Love2Love – thanks for the encouragement. And I will keep you in mind! They do all complement each other, the Marauders and I feel like Harry should get a chance to understand them, considering how much their lives have impacted, determined his own. "A constant reminder of what Harry has lost, but the desperate need to never let go..."

batfan7- thanks for the reminder! And I so agree: "I thoroughly approve of Harry's attitude towards the pranks. He enjoys the connection it gives him to the Marauders, likes the creativity they take to plan, finds many of them amusing, but at the same time doesn't like it when they turn vicious or hurtful. Good for him! It takes a certain kind of generous nature to be empathetic towards others instead of taking pleasure from their humiliation, and Harry has that in far greater abundance than any of the other boys (including Remus)." I think this is a direction canon-Harry never fully realized until the end of the seventh book. I want to bring that out, because so often that facet is simply overlooked.

* * *

30) Spooks on you

-

-

* * *

He had never associated death with Halloween. In hindsight, that seemed strange. He'd gone to the Deathday Party on Halloween, he was picked for the Triwizard Tournament on Halloween – as was Diggory, - and of course there was his parents' death.

His parents. Dead.

For so long it'd been an abstract. A fact carelessly shoved in his face day after day living with the Dursleys. Dudley had parents; he didn't. It simply was the way it was.

If he had mourned them, it was the idea of them. The idea of a home of his own, with parents who cared for him. The life he might've had. He couldn't mourn them – they were imaginary figures without flesh or bone. All he knew of them was the muttered slurs from his uncle and aunt.

Until Hogwarts. Until Hagrid spoke of them with reverence. Until James was the one he took after so strongly everyone took a double-take. Until Lily was the one from whom he got his eyes. Until he stared into the Mirror of Erised and saw them, smiling at him. Until he got the album, filled with the candids of them laughing, together.

He'd tried to sit for hours and absorb their smiling, playful pictures, but they were still two-dimensional – even if they did move. He couldn't hear them, speak to them. They were simply images, mementos - holding the Invisibility Cloak and thinking, this had belonged to his father once. Unable to comprehend.

Until he'd heard Lily's desperate cries to save him. Until he'd heard James standing up to Voldemort as the Dementor neared.

Piece by piece they became more real – the Marauders' Map Prongs (he tried to talk to him-it, but hit the limits of the Map's intelligence), the stag patronus "Prongs rode again!" – yet still just fragments…

Until they'd plumed from Voldemort's wand.

It hadn't been fair – a gut-wrenching meeting he'd never expected, didn't have time for. His parents, protecting him as always, no time for him to know them or them to know him. It hurt like his heart had been compressed then released, a freefall.

Seeing them in Snape's Pensieve had been completely disorienting. James' arrogance, bullying – Lily's disdain; he'd felt sick. Who were these people? His father, the one he had been proud to remind people of, who was he? The love between them, where was it? He couldn't understand and Sirius and Remus' nostalgia was a chasm between them that he couldn't cross. How much did he know?

The past defined his life – the attack that had branded him, killed his parents, extended protection over him, sent Voldemort into power-less exile; Snape's hatred, Wormtail's betrayal, Sirius' imprisonment – so much wrapped up in Riddle and his parents' lives. So many links, but so much he had never had a real knowledge of.

Until now.

He knew James now. He knew Lily now. And Sirius and Remus and Peter and Severus and a whole host of people he didn't really want to know, but did now.

And the fact they would die was suddenly too real.

On Halloween.

He had never dreaded the approach of Halloween either.

-

The long awaited meeting finally began, thanks in part to Peter's prodding.

James had bravely (in his mind) prodded Lily and the girls into spending the still-warm day by the lake with Harry, given they'd been monopolizing his time lately. So the dorm room was the original Marauders' for at least the next hour. They sprawled on their beds as normal, though Sirius had taken a stand against his bedpost, rather ominously in James' mind. Peter sat on his bed, also exuding an air of fretfulness.

So the question stood.

Did they trust Harry?

"So do we?"

James shot Sirius an annoyed look, propping himself up on his elbows. "Actually I thought we should discuss what we're going to do for the third full moon."

"We could always tell him it's some Marauder thing-" Peter suggested.

"I would think he'd feel that he should be involved," Remus pointed out, settled on his back and looking up at the canopy of his bed.

"Well, something that doesn't involve him," Peter snapped. "He's only been a Marauder for like a month." Something in his tone made warning bells ring in James' head.

"So the options are lie to him or exclude him? I don't want to do that." Peter's look turned surly. "Wormtail, what's with the attitude?"

"Besides the obvious?" Peter asked, his voice pitching up. "He doesn't like me James. I haven't done anything to him – and he can barely stand to be near me!" The complaint turned into a whine.

"Maybe you just remind him of someone," Sirius offered, being unusually passive. "Someone he's got issues with."

"You could just ask him," Remus said placidly. He knew he should be more bothered, but he had a little announcement to worry about instead. They all knew Peter wouldn't though. Peter's forthrightness was rare.

"That aside, do we trust him?" Sirius was a dog with a bone, pun fully intended.

Remus opened his mouth, but James beat him to it. "He's been alright with the pranking and he's shared stuff even when we sortof pressured him-"

"-unfairly," Remus couldn't help muttering.

"-but as to telling him about Moony, it's down to gut feelings," he shrugged, turning to the boy in question. "I guess the real question is, do you trust him?"

Remus looked away, flipping onto his stomach to pick at the fringe of his comforter. "Actually, I already told him," he muttered almost into the cloth.

"What?!"

Sirius and James' voices vied, but Sirius was clearly louder. Peter's jaw dropped.

"Y-y-you told him?"

"Just like that?" Sirius was numb.

Harry had been surprised Remus had confronted him so overtly. His best friends, who'd known him for years, were stunned. Remus had never told anyone about his lycanthropy. Never. His family had known almost before he had known. The other Marauders had found out on their own. Outside their circle, only Severus Snape and the Hogwarts staff were even aware of it. Remus had even set the knowledge as a prerequisite for serious dating – and so far, no one had even come close to convincing him he should share.

It was unthinkable that Remus would volunteer the information.

Remus set his chin. In that moment, he knew he couldn't tell Sirius that Harry already known. "It turns out he has an uncle who's a werewolf. And, well, he's Muggleborn – or at least his mum was and he doesn't seem to have wizard prejudices as much-"

The guys just stared at him as he started to babble nervously. Sirius sat down heavily. James cleared his throat before the other could interrupt.

"That's, well, good. You finally told someone. That's-" James floundered. "-good."

"Yeah, congrats," Sirius said and no one could tell if it was sarcastically.

"Look, it just happened. So – I'm telling you now," Remus said, forestalling an attack. But Sirius didn't have one for the moment.

Remus had the ability to keep secrets. He lied well, if not terribly convincing to his friends, and he had a tendency to keep things to himself. It always bothered Sirius. Sirius hated secrets – and the fact Remus would just volunteer it to, to this newcomer?

He swallowed his ire though. This could be his opportunity to make for last year and he was bright enough to take it.

"So are we going to help him become an animagi?"

James nearly jumped out of his seat, his head whipping around. "What?"

"Wouldn't the next question be if we should tell him? Um, about us being animagi?" Peter hazarded, unconsciously wringing his hands.

Sirius snorted, arms crossing in front of his chest. "All this talk about trust and inclusion, that is the real question isn't it?"

Silence.

"Innit?" he demanded, more aggressively.

"Well, I mean if-" James tried, but Sirius cut him off.

"I say we do it."

They all were literally struck silent. Sirius just lounged against his bed post, as if he hadn't just dropped a conversational atomic bomb.

James' mouth opened, closed, then opened again. "Are- you serious?"

It was a testament to the fact he was, that he didn't crack the joke that had gotten old in first year. If there was one thing that could be said about Sirius, it was that he certainly had a flair for the dramatic.

"You really think we should include him?" Remus asked slowly, not sure if he should be trusting his ears.

Sirius shrugged. "Why not?"

"Why not?" Peter looked stupefied.

"The guy took on a House table-sized snake. I think we can safely say he'd be up for this challenge."

James wondered just when Sirius had been hit over the head by logic.

He cleared his throat. "I'd – well I don't think it's a bad idea." He had to say Remus' name twice before the werewolf responded.

"It's dangerous, but if he agrees – I guess I don't have any objections."

He'd voiced all those objections when the animagi plan had first come up – and about a thousand times during the process of figuring out how to do it before their determination had finally exhausted him. It didn't seem like the time to rehash them.

"Peter?"

In the face of their agreement, Peter wilted. He shook his head.

"Then we're agreed."

Sirius ignored the incredulous looks he still received. He still had his suspicions, but, well – keep your friends close, and your enemies a hairbreadth farther.

And as long as he wasn't sure which one was Harry, he fully intended to do so.

-

Sirius wasn't the most sensitive of blokes, but even he could tell Harry's mood was going down the toilet.

He was trying not to show it, but Harry had about as much ability concealing secret brooding as James did arrogant preening. And Harry was definitely brooding about something. However, recalling their vow none of them had questioned him over it – and to their tentative probing over how he was feeling, they'd gotten a sigh and a muttered comment on how Halloween stirred up bad memories.

James had gotten a gleam in his eyes as soon as he heard that pronouncement and it came as no surprise when he pulled the rest of the Marauders to the side.

"Okay, so we tell him on Halloween."

Unfortunately, that still left how.

By the time of the Halloween Feast, they still hadn't. Harry was, as he probably thought covertly, moping. He tried to enthusiastically eat, but anytime the guys' eyes weren't on him, he went back to picking at his dish. And he was only barely keeping track of their conversation.

"It's too bad the ghosts aren't having a party," Sirius said presently. "Now that would be awesome to crash."

"Not really," Harry was playing with his food again – and hadn't expected his comment to be picked up on. But Sirius had sharp ears.

"Why's that?"

Harry shrugged, undoubtedly feeling the pressure of all their eyes suddenly focused on him. "Bad food and all they do is brag about how they died or whatever," he said vaguely.

Sirius' look turned sly. "You do seem to know a lot about ghosts. Seems strange – I never heard of any other schools having a decent number."

"Why, just because it's a Muggleborn school? We're wizards too – we have ghosts!" Harry brushed his mouth, using indignation momentum to pop out of his seat. "I'm just going to go to the bathroom."

James' elbow lodged into Sirius' side. "Smooth move, Padfoot."

-

Harry didn't like faking offense to make Sirius back off, but ways to make the Black boy back off were few and far between. And being around them with thoughts of their future deaths in his mind, it was just painful – like picking a scab, each time the cut welling up blood.

Morbid, but appropriate he thought.

He breathed out in a puff as he paused by the open doors of the Great Hall. Now he just had to see how successful it had been.

"Ah, the transfer." The low gravelly voice nearly made him jump out of his skin. He swiveled only to find the Bloody Baron himself had addressed him. Uh oh. The ghost elegantly drifted between him and the festivities, silvery blood glimmering as if polished for the occasion.

Harry cleared his throat and racked his mind for any possible reason he could've attracted the Slytherin ghost's attention. "Look, I just want to return to my dinner, so if you'll-"

The Baron inched closer, solemn lips distorting, and there was a cackle behind him. Harry repressed his jump this time, recognizing the sound. Peeves. Just great.

"You're not afraid," the voice was like the tolling of bells, giant, ancient, foreboding. For whom does the bell toll… His skin crawled.

He licked his lips, "I have a lot of respect-"

The door behind him moved, he pressed against it – and he suddenly found himself stuck between a ghost and a hard place.

"Hogwarts ghosts deserve more than that…" the aristocrat's face curved into an awful, awful grin and Harry realized, rather sickeningly, that this was a homeschool pride issue. Simply fantastic.

The door bumped a further foot closer to the Baron and Harry jumped. That was it – the Baron was just a ghost and this was simply ridiculous –

He put his hand out, "I've got plenty else to fear 'sides some gho-" Peeves slammed against the door – and Harry overcompensated, stepping straight forward _into – but he was only a ghost, what could he do?_

The world did a cartwheel and sight, smell, taste spiraled, swapped, flipped upside down and inside – existence, time, nothingness, the suspension of life - _everything was shadows, pale reflection of living – _**her face defiant to the end, then eyes wide shocked as he stared, blood blooming like red ivy, curling around her figure **– _he couldn't breathe, everything insubstantial _**– his love, nothing but despised obsession and now ashes as she lay still, he turned the blade against his skin **_**– his body shuddered, then still and he can still see, but not feel **_– his body was back, in vertigo, re-emerging into spatial reality –

Harry found himself on his hands and knees, shaking as if he'd just swam ten depths down to the bottom of the lake and had been digested, then regurgitated by the giant squid.

"Who are you?" he barely heard the Baron mutter behind him.

But the thudding of feet announced the coming crowd, a crescendo of 'Harry's and concerned questions. James slid down first, tentatively placing a hand on his back. The others hung back, but clustered around. He closed his eyes, the sudden avalanche of sensory information sending his innards reeling again. He recognized voices though – Marauders, Lily, and, was that Marna?

"Oh God, Harry, are you okay?"

Harry didn't dare shake his head. "Bloody Baron," he muttered.

He heard a snicker he just knew was Sirius'. "Can say that again."

Then a calm authoritative voice broke the circle. "Give him some air," and Madam Pomphrey bustled to his side. He let her fuss over him with a sense of relief.

Dumbledore stood in the gap she'd made and Harry couldn't bear to meet his eyes. It was only after Pomphrey finished fussing, declaring 'nothing wrong' with him that he finally looked up. Dumbledore looked down at him calmly.

"It can be rather disturbing to pass through a ghost," he said at last, almost off-handly. "I'm sure all Mr. Patterson needs is a rest." Harry followed his gaze as it moved to the Baron. "I'd like to see you in my office in an hour Baron." Shrewd eyes finally left Harry as the ghost nodded and drifted away, a silent, feared wraith. Harry's stomach lurched again, more threateningly this time.

"We can take him back to the dorm," James immediately volunteered. He moved to take Harry's arm and Harry clenched inwardly in preparation of getting up. But Lily's voice intruded.

"But-what about your traditional firecracker display?"

It had been an accident first year (Sirius had wanted to stash them under the staff table, but ended setting them off half-way there), an attempt to master the second year, and well – tradition by third year. The teachers did nothing to stop them as long as the fireworks didn't get too close to any of the tables – the staff favorite was the etching of the House symbols, complete with a roaring griffin for Gryffindor.

James shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal. "Have to forgo it." He raised an eyebrow. "I thought you disapproved of our childish tricks?"

"Some of them aren't so bad."

Their eyes locked, a faint blush heating Lily's face, and they had no idea how much Harry hated to break up the moment –

"I think I'm going to be sick." James blinked and for a second, took him metaphorically – but then Harry began to convulse and James grabbed the nearest thing he could, which happened to be Marna's purse, and transfigured it into a bin.

A minute later, Harry leaned his head against the bin, cold sweat beading his forehead. "Thanks," he mumbled weakly.

"Don't mention it," Marna said, just as weakly.

But the retching did make him feel better and within a few minutes, the group had sorted itself out. As James and Remus were the closest in height, Sirius being taller by an inch and a half, Harry was strung between the two and carefully led back to the dorm. The very sight of the dorm stairs though sent Harry's stomach reeling again and they let him collapse on one of the couch.

He lay back, personally all set to just sleep there. Remus perched on the arm of the couch by him while the other boys settled around.

"Sorry 'm making you miss out on the feast," Harry said.

"'s alright," Sirius replied, dropping down next to the fireplace, getting to the question before James could. "It's basically the same every year."

"If anything, it's too bad you have to miss it," Remus added.

Harry shrugged.

"I managed to grab some of the sweets though," Peter piped up, whipping out napkin-wrapped pastries and the like from various pockets. The smell seeped into the air and Harry wished he could block his nose, but he didn't want to make a fuss – not that he really had the energy anyway.

They munched quietly – and eyes still closed, Harry missed the pointed looks James and Sirius exchanged.

"So," James said, getting right to the point as Sirius preferred. "You know about Moony."

Harry's eyes flew open and instinctively, he tried to raise himself defensively. He'd finally told them. Oh man, he really wasn't up to explaining...

"So- well I-" Remus cut off the blustering, pushing him back down on the couch.

"Just relax Harry," the werewolf seemed to try to convey some message with his eyes, but Harry couldn't make heads or tails of it.

"If Moony choose to tell you, we aren't going to argue," James tried to reassure him. It took a moment for that to sink in. Moony tell him? He tried to catch Remus' eye, but now the other boy wasn't looking at him.

"But well – there's more to it. Remus, he's one of us. And we weren't going to just let him get caged all alone once a month." Harry felt like Grawp had just grabbed him for a 'hug'. He wasn't actually… "So, well, we figured out a way to help him. You see, animals generally won't get harmed by a werewolf and so-"

James was taking too long – and he was making the little hand motions that Sirius knew meant he was getting nervous. Sirius rolled his eyes.

"We're animagi," he broke in bluntly.

Harry was shellshocked.

The animagi secret – the Holy Grail of the Marauders, the secret breathed to no one outside of the brotherhood, not even Dumbledore, until the rat had betrayed all to the Slytherin Dark Lord.

He'd never even actually imagined they'd tell him, only in his most extreme fantasies even entertained something more than stolen, covert peaks from his camouflaged broom – Prongs, Padfoot, and Wormtail.

He was still trying to respond when the portrait hole suddenly swung up, two quiet third years entering, blinking as they took in the group arranged around the fire. Remus immediately sent a pointed look at James, who nodded unconsciously.

"We'll have to wait on show and tell," he said quietly.

"When you're feeling better," Remus added, taking in Harry's paleness.

Harry could only barely nod, unable to form words.

They trusted him.

He had no words to describe what that meant to him.

-

For some hint of what happened with the Baron, this is from Wikipedia:

"The Baron's nickname comes from the fact that he is covered with blood, which appears silvery on his ghostly form…this is explained in _Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows_, when Helena Ravenclaw tells Harry that the Baron had been in love with her when the two were alive, and when she ran off with the diadem, Rowena Ravenclaw sent the Baron after her, knowing he would not stop until Helena was found. When she refused to return with him, however, the Baron killed her in a fit of rage, and then, in remorse, killed himself with the same weapon. He has thus haunted Hogwarts ever since, wearing his ghostly chains as a form of penitence."


	31. The stuff of nightmares and dreams

Ugh, I'm probably on a good 1,000 readers' hit list for absentee updater. I'm sorry, but I did move to another country and am working full-time. This has not been my top priority. But I'm seeing time open up in the future… And erm, I help my readers gain the virtue of patience?

**What happened with the Baron? Harry is not of this time – and he's still connected to his own time (time is passing there). Ghosts are, in a way, frozen in time – they don't age, aren't real in a certain sense, and trapped in their last moments. Thus, when Harry went through the Bloody Baron, his temporal status got mashed with the Baron's – and he experienced the Baron's last moments. This does not happen for everyone, so the Baron was notably confused (and got some of his own feedback from Harry).**

A nod to my reviewers:

"This time shift befuddles any intuitive knowledge of the proper use of prepositions." Lol!

Gah, greek myth reminded me – I still have to include Harry's lying scars, gotta remember…

One of my readers pointed out that each month was 15 chapters roughly so far – thus taking 240 to finish the year. And considering how long it took me to get this far… That will not happen!!!! The months will go faster from here on out – like 3/4 chapters per month. So yes, they will get longer – sorry this one is short, but I wanted to finish up the threads from last chapter. Harry meeting Padfoot and Prongs had to have its own space. As for time schedule – I'm going to try for 2 a month again.

**Want to help me update faster? Volunteer to beta-read! You'll get scene snippets way before chapters and help me update faster!**

Now without further ado:

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HP 31: The stuff of nightmares and dreams

-

-

Despite the Marauders' shocking revelation, Harry's dreams were haunted that night – thwarted love, a plunging dagger, blood turning silver, silver hands, betrayal and a mournful howl.

He woke up in a sweat – in his time, it would've been the end of the 15th anniversary of his parents' (no James and Lily, Prongs and Lilyflower) death.

He got up, pulled on a cloak and hunched over the sill of the window. The night was still dark – he cracked the window, letting the cold, damp air fill his senses. He wondered when dawn would be; in the dark he couldn't tell.

"Can't sleep?" Harry jumped badly. Remus stood behind him, clutching his own cloak to his chest.

"Rather not," he said, too tired to lie. He looked back out the window. "Nightmares."

Remus stepped up to stand beside him. They stood in silence for a minute. "I still dream of being bitten sometimes," he said quietly.

Harry's hands clenched the window sill, but he just swallowed. He'd never known any details of Remus' lycanthropy. Lupin had always been so reserved about it… "How young were you?"

Remus stared blankly into the Forbidden Forest. "Too young."

He pushed up his sleeve, all the way up to his upper shoulder. Harry had to squint, but Remus sketched out the faint white lines of the bite mark that had changed his life forever.

"Does it ever still hurt?"

Remus hesitated. "Just before and after I transform," he finally said.

Harry waited while Remus fixed his sleeve. "It was an anniversary yesterday," Harry said, very low, unable not to say it. "– it's just- hitting me hard. Going through the ghost – it didn't make it better."

More silence.

But when Harry lowered his head, tentatively, Remus laid his hand on Harry's shoulder. "I know you're far from home – but we are here for you."

He returned to bed.

_Home_, the word left a bitter taste in Harry's mouth.

He stared blankly into the night.

--

Life resumed once again. Harry attended class the next day, braving the stares and whispers – would he have to travel back to the founder's age not to get them? – he rolled his eyes. At least Lily, Marna, and some of his fellow Quidditch players asked if he was okay.

But it was all worth it when they returned to the room that afternoon.

-

He was magnificent.

He towered over Harry, over all the boys really.

Long tawny legs supported the finely muscled body that reached Harry's shoulder. The coat was fine and thick, the light tan only giving way to the flicking of a white-fringed tail and slender black hooves. His neck was corded, supporting a fine muzzle and a sharp set of antlers. They weren't the large many pronged fixtures of hunters' cabins, but rather two angled stalks, branching into three, four points each. The set of a young stag who'd not yet reached his prime.

And – he was becoming a bit fuzzy around the edges.

"Ah, Harry – breathe!" Remus shook his arm and Harry in-took.

"Of course he had to go first." Sirius grumbled. "Preening peacock." Harry stepped forward, tentatively, reverently lifting a hand to brush Prongs' muzzle. His hand trembled and Prongs shook his head, thrusting his wet dark nose directly into Harry's palm.

He was real.

He could've stood there forever, stroking Prongs' nose, shoulder, antler – (was it bone? He couldn't remember, just insubstantial facts that swirled in his head unlike the soft warm fuzz underneath his hand) – but Sirius could only wait so long and before he knew it, an achingly familiar shaggy form was snuffling around his legs, jostling him none-too-gently.

"Padfoot," Remus scolded, but the dog ignored him, lolling his tongue as he pressed himself against Harry's hand.

Remus sighed and walked over to the bed. Harry stiffened – even after two months, countless reminders that Peter had not yet made his fateful betrayal, even of loyalty – he couldn't help the bile that rose in his throat at the sight of– "And this here is Wormtail."

"A rat." The rodent squirmed under his intense gaze. He knew the sight all too well. How long had Scabbers been Ron's lazy, hand-me-down pet rat?

Padfoot growled low – but he couldn't look up, away – at the ones this creature would betray-

"Sorry." The word grated his throat. "I don't like rats."

Remus, on his part, didn't think that warranted such concentrated hatred, but he wisely put Peter back down.

-

Harry took the news better than any of them expected.

He was awestruck, amazed by the transformations – taking them in with few questions. Aside from the discomfort with Wormtail (James waved it away with a "not many people feel warm and fuzzy about rats, no offense Peter"), he seemed enthralled by their animal selves, taking special interest in Prongs and their interactions together. Since the success of their Animagi transformation, Sirius in particular had become a bit casual in lounging around their dorm room in animal form. Since it was a just a different state of being, they remained essentially themselves despite animal instincts, it wasn't a strain to do so.

Remus couldn't help but envy this ease. Being a werewolf was a forceful, hostile takeover of the wolf – and changing was no joyride.

An hour later, they all lay about the dorm room. Peter had gone back to his human form and was now spared not even a glance from Harry, but Sirius and James were still furry. Padfoot was unabashedly getting his ears rubbed by an absent-minded Harry who kept his eyes on Prongs, who'd settled down by Remus – who was recounting the story behind their transformations. (Padfoot was an unabashed beggar of these rubs, despite any pride to the contrary – and was Harry's favorite animal a stag? Maybe that'd explain the patronus…not that anyone knew the exact link between the shape and the person.)

"And you knew what they were planning the whole time?" Harry asked.

Remus snorted. "Not at the very beginning, but at that time, James and Sirius still got lost in the library. They needed my help for figuring out how to do it. Not to mention someone had to consider safety." The echo of past headaches made Remus rub the bridge of his nose. "I actually tried to talk them out of it, especially after one particularly gruesome book that included magical transformation mishaps." James stretched, finally untransforming.

"Not that we were about to be talked out of it because of a few gory pictures," James said, sitting down across from his werewolf friend.

Remus sighed. "When they've got an idea, they're like a dog with a bone – pun fully intended." Padfoot woofed from his position at Harry's side. Remus rolled his eyes. "They were too thick to even acknowledge the possibility it could happen to them–"

"Hey, it wasn't like we had anything to worry about with you watching our backs," James protested, before looking to Harry. "He ruled out all the most dangerous options – like the Polyjuice idea." Harry shuddered, remembering Hermione's mishap. Her cat melding had landed her in the Hospital Wing for over a month.

"You didn't have any real bad accidents, did you?"

James cocked his head. "No, not really." Peter's head shot up.

"What?!"

"Not counting the fact Peter almost got stuck and caught as a giant rodent by Mrs. Norris," Remus added dryly. Padfoot dissolved into Sirius, who rolled on his back on the floor with laughter.

"Oh Merlin – she stalked him for weeks afterward!"

"Well, at least I didn't chase her around the halls, barking like mad!" Peter snapped back peevishly.

Harry raised an eyebrow.

James cleared his throat. "Anyway, you'll have a chance to find out for yourself." He ignored the bickering – which turned into a tussling match when Sirius managed to grab Peter's ankle and drag him to the floor. "Next it will be your turn!"

Harry blinked. And blinked again. Sentence not compute.

"Huh?"

"What? You thought we only told you – to just tell you?"

"Maybe to brag?" Harry muttered dazed. James was not suggesting what he thought he was, was he?

"You don't have to," Remus jumped in, shooting James a look. "I know the whole process can be dangerous, not to mention time-consuming. And we can't even guarantee it would even work –"

Sirius looked up from where he had a headlock on Peter, panting. "It worked for Peter; anybody can do it!"

Peter, face turning red, flailed and managed to punch Sirius in the stomach, making the air whoosh out of his mouth. The match was on. Sirius was stronger, but Peter now had an excellent escape route. In a moment, Wormtail had wiggled away and scurried under one of the beds. Padfoot reappeared and industriously went to work sniffing him out.

"No barking," Remus reminded absently, before resuming. "We're not pressuring you to do anything you-"

Harry hadn't taken his eyes off James. "You, you mean me become-"

Padfoot raced to the other side of the room making little growling noises. Harry could only point.

"Well not a dog, hopefully," that got a growl from Padfoot and James wisely crossed his legs, bringing his ankles up out of reach, "but yeah, an animagus." He grinned his devil-may-care smile as Harry just gaped at him.

Harry couldn't think. He just – he hadn't had any preparation for this.

"An animagus?"

Padfoot snorted, before Sirius popped up next to Harry and poked him. "I think you broke him." Wormtail slithered out of a closet, taking advantage of Sirius' distraction, and ran up his bed, turning back into Peter.

"An animagus? I never…" Harry was still staring into space.

"So are you up for it?" Sirius all but demanded.

And looking into their carefree faces, all Harry could do was nod dumbly.

-

It was just a blip. Almost insignificant.

Sirius and Peter had gone off to get some snacks for their late night planning session to bring him up to speed on the animagi planning; James had gone with Remus to pick up a book Remus had remembered had good illustrations. The two on snack patrol had gotten back and they were scarfing hot buns when James and Remus returned. The skin around James' left eye was bruised.

"What happened to you?" Sirius jumped up, glowering.

"Bloody Snape knocked me into a bookcase." Remus frowned.

"You did turn his shoes into cement."

"He was being a git."

"More than usual?" Peter piped up.

"He insulted Remus," James narrowed his eyes.

"-And the idea of him and Lily," Remus added.

Sirius whistled. "Well there you go," but then he scowled, examining James' black eye. "He better watch his back." Peter, at least, looked at Remus when that was said, but the boy only turned away.

A blind eye.

-

_He could've saved him – but no, that bloody, stupid childhood feud!_

_**What ever Dumbledore said, he would never forgive Snape ...never ...**_

_**"You are determined to hate him, Harry. And I understand; with James as your father, with Sirius as your godfather, you have inherited an old prejudice."**_

_**"My father was a great man!"**_

_**"Your father was a swine!"**_

"_**Then your father did something unforgivable. He saved his life."**_

"_**He only saved me to save his own skin!"**_

_**"Okay, who wants to see me take off Snivelly's pants?"**_

"_**Of course we were idiots. We were fifteen."**_

"_**Harry Potter. Our newest celebrity."**_

-

Snape, his tormentor.

Sirius and James, _his father_, those that tormented Severus.

-

"_**Look, it's itty bitty Harry. You don't really need these glasses do you?" Snap.**_

-

Dudley and Piers and Snape and Sirius and James and Severus and Peter and Malfoy and him – he didn't know what to feel. Especially not after them finally trusting him.

Swallowing, he conjured an ice pack. "Here," he offered it to James, who took it gratefully.

Thankfully, the Marauders' attention had a higher priority – their long-awaited prank. "The mother of them all," as Sirius put it.

So Harry didn't have to think about it.

But he would.

-

So I have at least 5 male readers. It must be the fact it's Harry Potter, both sexes read it.

Thanks to all my reviewers!!!!!!

Mysticalflame (thanks!!), Enigmared, Heaven's door for eternity, Websurffer, MinorBandit, pandas rule the world, puregarnet, xitwa74, Andromz, Alex, Chantal la Chasseuse (yay!), Darth Maximus, Sonia120462, ., Willow-R.J., ladykind, bloodyvampire2, Beth, Soul's Eclipse, SolemnXAngel (erm...), deathxofxthexbetrayed, Lunary13 (thank you!), Wandering Hitokiri, Liz Wolf (guess no more cookies), TwilightSarah1414, NekoDoodle, Gepardo, keatlin, Liz Wolf (OY!), Meeh-san, Bittersweetness, purrbaby101, kittykatbn (aw!), winderful1 (thanks!), Merciless-the-insane-cancerian, Kathryn Potter (-wince-), Kat Chronica, Shadow315, HaydenBlossom, RainPelt, FoxyDemonDownUnder, SeverusTobiasSnape798, Palindroame (thanks!), Rori Potter, SeverusTobiasSnape798, DotsOnAWall, Cathycalamitous, Shalaren (thanks!!), mariegilbert, The Metronome Maven, Christina E. Lupin, xfarahx, HelKat, Puella Deorum, beauty0102, awaylaughingonafastcamel, PopeYodaI, Nenifer121, Crazy-Physco, VampireDelight, sunshineysmiles, inuficcrzy, Marlicat **(I don't know if I can, but I'll try to fix the title!),** JaBoyYa, KG86 (I'm glad!), Avatar Rikki (good point!), LupinandHarry, little mimi, TheLastCrumpet, FaithlessGirl, Sabishii Kage Tenshi, MinervaEvenstar, Stardawn, SlytheringRules, heaven's door for eternity, akuma-chan0326, Muria, xcloudx, LilyJames addict, PrettyFanGirl, Love2Love, Narutos sis and Itachis girl, kyLaaa, Padfoot2446, A, Zuzanny, Mariano's-twins, Teenlaunch **(well, I think I can do it – you can judge in the end),** killing u with umbrellas, Aimael, Kylani, Serpent91, Rebel Goddess, shadowbee163, batfan7 (yes!), stefunny2010, Estel Ashlee Snape, AkaiXTsubasa, Angel-Miko, stranger12 (no way!), ElysianWinter **(I've read DH, just don't remember every detail)**, JClayton, Nights Silhouette, Drayconette , AnGeL oF mAdNeSs, petites sorcieres, me-obviously, carrebear14, Iriomote Yamaneko Nokomis, lilyre, Kari Minamoto, hauntful yay (yay!!), Global Conquest-er (lol!), Lolgirl, , hypercell, ashez2ashes (a duck? Lol), BYoshi1993, Lita of Jupiter, Nosi, Lady Shadow Of Time, Meltalviel.


	32. The buddy system

**For animagi answers, check the author's notes of chapter 13 please!!! I will not repeat what I've already clarified.**

Thanks for the offers to beta-read: nljfs, Shadewolf7, soyandwindows, Estel Ashlee Snape and R.H. Stevenson! I'll keep you all in mind in the future. (Thanks especially Estel for her speedy feedback!!!

_3 more male reviewers (I think)._

_Anonymous male reviewer: "Ha! I am part of the 5 male readers. Does that mean I'm weird or unique, or maybe it's both?" It's just there's so many girls, I'm not sure why!!! I've gotten used to just assuming every reader's female._

Wisdom from the reviewers:

Von: "I liked the moment where Harry felt the hatred for Wormtail…seeing him as a rat WOULD be more embedded in his mind than a teenager..." Exactly!!!

Aimael: "CanonHarry hates too easily and loves too easily ^^." Kindof like Darcy, "My good opinion once lost is lost forever." The 'no barking' sitch – lol!

batfan7: "You don't make anyone shine as perfect or vilify a main character (like Peter), which makes the whole thing so much more realistic…It'd be a lot harder to overlook Harry's revulsion of Peter if he'd been a fluffy bunny or something!" LOL!!! You 'loved' the slow pace of this story – yeah! Lol about Sirius and yes I can Remus as a little jealous – the wolf is such a curse for him…

Mysticalflame: "**Harry, come on-you know what you're going to have to do. Though I don't know if I could go against a father I idolized and his dead best friend." –Wince- I know!**

-

And thanks to all my other reviewers! (Some short comments at the bottom)

Hypercell, kittykatbn, Meeh-san, animehplife, Drayconette, killing u with umbrellas, Palindroame, lala, Soul's Eclipse, DaisyAnimeluvr, berndi, Tomorrows Dust, pandas rule the world, JClayton, cyiusblack, Zuzanny, xfarahx, lotrhpfan1234, stefunny2010, puregarnet, Clovergirl22, carcar3, Angel-Miko, Narutos sis and Itachis girl, Sabishii Kage Tenshi, Bittersweetness, Moony's daughter, Sonia120462, FaithlessGirl, Asterisks, Maradon, ^^*, Nenifer121, HellsQueen, brightsidetolife, Prudy, NycBlackout89, anaticulapraecantrix, LilyJames addict, KG86, JaBoyYa, NekoDoodle, Ulifan, romantiscue, Rori Potter, Serpent91, Andromz, ladykind, Rebel Goddess, enchanted nightingale, keatlin, PlayKate, twilight-h.p.-maxride4ever, Following Padfoot's Pawprints, CrystalMind, beauty0102, MYsweetAngel, and kyLaaa.

-

Chapter 32: The buddy system

-

-

_So hold me when I'm here_

_Right me when I'm wrong_

_Hold me when I'm scared_

_And love me when I'm gone_

_-Everything I am_

_And everything you need_

_I'll also be the one_

_You wanted me to be_

-

To say it started out as an ordinary day would be far too cliché. Some would even argue that there was never an ordinary day at Hogwarts. (Lily, as someone who had grown up in the Muggle world, was privately of this opinion. The staircases could move, for goodness' sake.)

Yet you never begin to expect the unexpected. By its very nature, it's surprising and startling and you can only be so vigilant.

So even after years of Marauders' pranks, the latest one caught everyone off-guard.

-

Lily was one of the first to arrive at Transfiguration, distractedly mumbling words under her breath. Sixth years had to work on non-verbal spells and McGonagall had warned them they'd be practicing one today in class.

She did notice she felt like she had lost her balance a little when she walked into the classroom, but she corrected herself in the next moment and thought nothing of it.

In fact no one noticed it. People seemed to suddenly appear in the classroom, _when'd they get here?, _instead of just wandering in, but no one suspected a thing. Of course, the class only had nine students and the Marauders were hardly going to tip anyone off. At least, not yet.

It wasn't until Evelin put her books on her desk, half-way to opening her make-up compact, that they realized something was up. Quite literally as the books fell downwards – and with a muted thump fell on the ceiling.

Or more accurately – on the actual floor.

Kalista screamed, high-pitched and shrill, like the stereotypical blond in a horror flick.

It was so, so weird and off-beat – and she could just bet they'd done it to classrooms all over the castle – Kalista jumped up and as soon as both of her feet left the floor, _she _fell, landing with a bounce – and the Marauders looked so baffled, so innocently perplexed.

Lily really, simply couldn't help it.

She laughed.

-

It wasn't a really spectacular prank, but Merlin, it was really fun. The Marauders, once they'd figured out how to perfect the anti-gravity, had a ball testing out the bouncy floor safety measure. And they'd managed to escape detention – Dumbledore, with a twinkle in his eye, had pronounced the prank as with 'author unknown' even though Flitwick had taken Remus aside to ask exactly what charms they had used. There was also the fact it'd gotten the LL seal: Lily's laughter. James was practically over the moon about that.

With the prank out of the way, the Marauders then focused on their newest scheme: making Harry into a real Marauder.

"Ah, the first step." Sirius presented the piece of paper with a flourish. It was creased and worn, looking rather old. Instead of being an ancient spell however…

"What kind of animal are you?" Harry read the magazine page's heading. There were groans.

"Padfoot, you didn't actually keep that, did you?"

"Hey, you have to start somewhere!" Sirius retorted, then leaned over Harry confidentially, "This test works too. Nailed me as a dog!"

"Like that takes a lot to figure out," Remus muttered. "That article's from a girl's mag Padfoot – you got it from a fourth year!"

"It said I was fluffy rabbit," Peter said flatly.

James grinned, adding his own input. "But it did say I was a lion, which hey, isn't that off."

Remus and Harry rolled their eyes in unison. Sirius remained unmoved so nevertheless, Harry turned to the personality test.

"Size?" He read the multiple choice question aloud without thinking. "Small."

"Tiny," James immediately corrected, which got him a look from Harry. He wasn't built that much smaller than James – he covertly looked between them for ego reassurance.

"A shrimp," was Sirius' contribution.

"He's not at the animal result yet," Remus said dryly.

"Aggression," Harry went on, deciding to ignore them.

"Not."

"It goes from one to four Prongs, remember? Besides, you obviously haven't been on the receiving end of his temper," Sirius said abrasively, yet without hostility.

"Temper doesn't necessarily have to do with aggression," Remus chided.

"But, okay, considering strength of will," James conceded, "that bumps him way up."

"I think I can do this without help," Harry interrupted, thumping his pen on the sheet. The other Marauders all stared at him. A minute passed. "-And I'm going to guess that's not an option."

Remus smiled wryly, "Nope."

"How about strong-willed, but not overly assertive?" Peter finally ventured, rather boldly ignoring Harry's interruption.

Harry frowned, but wasn't sure if it was an insult. Still, he jotted down a three.

"Extroversion?"

"Introvert," they chorused in unison. Harry looked up again.

"But I hang out with you guys!" he protested. Sure he'd spent most of his childhood by himself. Sure he only really hung out with Ron and Hermione back in his time. Sure when he was upset, he went off by himself. But, it wasn't like he was antisocial, er…

Remus allowed the point, "Ah, small friend groups, that should put him up a little higher."

"Um," Harry wasn't sure how to phrase the next question.

"Next 's looks," Sirius said knowledgably, leaning back on his bed post, hands behind head.

"I'll just put down a two," Harry muttered.

"Hey you're not a bad-looking bloke," Sirius argued.

James examined him critically, inclining forward. "I think at least a three. You got good features."

Considering how much they resembled James', Harry couldn't be that surprised at the assessment and so he shook off the slight creepiness.

"Okay, a three. Predictability?"

"None." That was another chorus and Harry gave a sour look.

"I'm not that bad."

"It also judges honesty," Remus remembered thoughtfully, biting his lip "–better make it a two."

Muttering, Harry dutifully recorded it. "Intelligence?"

"I think Remus was the only one who scored over a two for that one," James confided. Harry raised an eyebrow, so Remus had taken the test as well…

"Far be it from me to break the Marauder average-"

"Thought you were as bookish as Moony in the beginning," Sirius commented idly, still leaning back.

Harry shrugged off the half-accusation, instead wondering how exactly he balanced like that. "What else was there to do without you guys talking to me?"

"Good point," Peter said. Without the Marauders around, life was a lot less eventful.

"Athletic ability? Ah, as recreation." James and Sirius froze, gawks on the faces of the staunch Quidditch players. Harry had to defend himself. "Don't get me wrong; I love Quidditch, but really, it's the flying that makes it for me."

"I tried to suggest Quidditch wasn't the most of athletic of sports," Remus confessed, "but that caused hearing problems for a whole day after."

Harry laughed; Sirius, feigning deafness, got up and peaked over his shoulder. "Life success, ah, you're on your own – and I guess travel preference, though considering how much you like to fly, I can guess that one."

Life success? He'd count that when something finally went right in his life.

Harry tabulated his result.

"It says I'm-" he stopped. "Padfoot!"

Sirius' grin was wolfish, "What does it say?"

Harry looked up with a glint in his eye and practically lunged at Sirius. The two fell onto the floor with a bang, tussling as Harry tried to pin the larger boy to the floor.

James picked up the test, scanning the bottom – and laughed.

"What's it say?" Peter asked. James gave him the sheet, grinning at Remus. "A woman?" Peter read confused. It was scrawled over the label wildcat.

Remus rolled his eyes – again.

Harry ignored the by-play.

Sirius was a physical sort of guy, the kind that put people in headlocks and wrestled. Boyish combat that was playful, but challenging – Harry had seen the twins go at each other with casual aggression, ribbing Ron, Charlie and Bill chucking in their weight every once and awhile.

He and Ron had never been the sort to have mock combat. He wasn't sure why, but they'd always been hands-off. Ron was probably just glad to finally be out from his older brothers' domination and he – well maybe it was because he was such a twig or that he hardly knew how to initiate such play.

He'd spent so much of his life starved of physical contact.

Grappling with Sirius, who easily pinned him and messed with his hair; his time in this past was giving him opportunities he truly had never dreamed.

-

Unfortunately, after all the drama and pranking, classes had taken a backseat in their list of priorities – and it was beginning to show. Midterms were only in one month, as Remus reminded them ("Only?" Sirius muttered, "that's heaps of time!"), and the nonverbal spells were giving everyone fits. The guys liked to practice in the Common Room, but were booted back to their dorm when they decided underyears were better test subjects than inanimate objects.

Harry also had his O.W.L. retakes to worry about, as he had to take them before the mid-year. Lounging around the dorm room with random books lying open, James was absently rolling a Snitch he'd nicked while Peter's lips were moving silently as he swung his wand over a small box. (His aim was off though, or so Harry assumed – his bedspread was rapidly shrinking.) Sirius, studiously not examining his Charm textbook, watched him carefully pull out his textbooks. He had to be cautious with them – both the Astronomy and History book were updated versions that definitely included events the boys wouldn't know about. (Fortunately, the book stolen by Rosier had been his Divination book, which hadn't released a new edition in decades.)

"So what O.W.L.s do you have to re-take?" Sirius asked.

"Um, History, Astronomy, Divination, and Potions," Harry looked over his list. "Wait, not Potions." He still couldn't believe Snape hadn't failed him just because he could.

"Well can't help you with History," Sirius peered over his shoulder, "maybe Moony can. He gets us all through – It's all I can do to stay awake."

"Meaning he's out like a light," James sniggered, before adding his two cents. "I can help with Astronomy and probably Divination – though Sirius gives the best explanations."

"You really think Allouva buys all that junk you say you can see?" Peter asked.

"Please, I think she writes it down to read it later for entertainment value," Remus said wryly.

"It's not like it matters," Sirius brushed off. Something in Harry's face must have given them a pause though, because he asked, "You don't buy into all that stuff, do you Flighty?"

Harry didn't, wouldn't consider the question fully. And he could only shrug, not meeting anyone's eyes.

_**"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches... neither can live while the other survives…"**_

-

Once again on the full moon, Harry found himself armed with his broomstick. Only this time he had the Marauders' explicit knowledge, even prompting.

No Invisibility Cloak this time; the guys had mentioned it to him, but hadn't shown it to him. They didn't seem to think he needed it though – even though they were full of other advice.

"Don't try to fly through the Forest, there's plenty of creatures in there that might take exception – watch out for the Whomping Willow, it'll punch you out of the sky; make sure to fly high enough not to get caught by spare branches even with a full moon you might not see them and don't fly or come too close, if I tried to bite you-" Remus was fussing; predictably he'd had to be thoroughly convinced of Harry's flying jaunt with them.

James grabbed Remus' shoulder. "Don't be ridiculous Moony, it'll be fine. Now you're late to get to Pomphrey's," Remus nodded, but didn't look relieved in the slightest – and didn't move.

"Are you sure about this, we have classes tomorrow-"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "You're such a drama queen," Harry choked on a laugh, considering who exactly was making the accusation. "We actually all did our homework – besides Flighty can sleep on the weekend, lucky prat doesn't even have apparition practice. Now go on."

Still looking concerned, Remus finally left.

Harry snuck with the guys to the Whomping Willow, feeling like he was in a waking dream. Creeping through the cold, damp moon-lit night, James and Sirius leading the way, taking their old path to meet up with Moony. It was surreal seeing the Whomping Willow freeze, Sirius framed in its branches – a surreal, non-echo of their first real meeting. Only this was a far happier occasion; Harry had to keep that in mind as Wormtail scurried around.

Sirius looked him over with a critical eye, "Maybe we should've given him the cloak, his hair's almost fluorescent."

It took Harry a full minute to make sense of that statement. Right, he was blond. He never remembered – he barely even looked in a mirror and without the reminder, it way too easy to forget.

James rolled his eyes, "Nobody's going to see him; it'll be fine," he dismissed. "Just remember Flighty, don't come in for too close a look. Humans send Moony into a fit." Harry nodded, vividly recalling the later events of the night he'd met Sirius.

He kicked off and watched the trio disappear into the tree's tunnel.

Hovering a good sixty feet up and a good distance away from the belligerent tree, all Harry could do was wait for his second Marauder show.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, a black blur bounded out into the open, nose in the air. He sniffed around, giving Harry a low woof, and then yipped. Prongs cantered out behind him, stooped to get his antlered head through the opening, a grey waif twining around his ankles, nipping in impatience. Prongs must've used his antlers to keep Moony in while Padfoot checked it was clear. Clever.

Moony lifted his muzzle up to the sky and howled, before turning a glimmering eye to Harry above. Harry flew higher unconsciously, but Padfoot growled and bowled Moony in the shoulder. He ran towards the Forest, a snarling werewolf behind him. Prongs leisurely nibbled some grass, before stretching his legs and racing forward. An audible squeak announced Wormtail's lack of excitement over the move. Grace in motion – Harry sighed, leaning on his broomstick before shaking himself and following them from high above.

It was even better than last time.

Padfoot guided them to a clearing and led Moony in merry games of tag (though Moony tended to assume he was always 'it'), wrestling, and sniff out the rat. (Harry couldn't imagine what Peter thought of that little game.) Prongs grazed, ignoring the energetic canines while they ran through and around his legs – until Padfoot went for his tail and there was a flurry of antler posturing, teeth flashing, and hooves flying. Moony eventually got tired of the clearing, but Harry was the closest to starry-eyed that he had ever been.

He couldn't stop smiling for the entirety of the next day.

-

And so, busy with school and friends and the beginnings of animagus testing, time went by. Harry was feverishly glad drama had receded from his life.

Of course, how long could the Marauders go without a little drama?

So Harry missed the exchange of looks when Sirius got back with his 'not-going-to-last-long' (as James put it) girlfriend Patrisia, who introduced them to her Hufflepuff fellow 5th-year, Vinta Argyle. The reddish-blond Vinta blushed when Harry said hello.

James initiated the look with Remus – a Hogsmeade weekend was coming up. And what kind of friends would they be if they didn't secure a best mate's date?

Scheming was what a Marauder was best at after all.

-

Short comments:

Von: if I merged the chapters together, I don't think you'd see another chapter for 2 years – small steps are more motivating than dreading monster chapters.

ashez2ashes: lol! Thanks for the offer, but I think I'll take up those who are unemployed...

greek myths: So agree! –tear for Sirius-

StaplersBreak and Nienna Telrunya: thanks for the corrections!

R.H. Stevenson (thanks for the support my friend – and yes, Harry meeting the animal Marauders was very emotional for him. The night he learned the truth of his parents' death was so closely linked with their animagi forms.)

wolfawaken: -blink- I'm impressed by your dedication – keep in good health!)

: Yes I have my own stories and hope to be published sooner than later. Thanks for the encouragement!

Ava Monroe: The blind eye was more a reference to Remus' habit of not restraining his friends, as he tells Harry later in life.

Sapphire: I agree!

Teahleafs: Thanks! My move and job are chugging along!

cornflakecrunch: I thought the country comment was serious for a while there. But I love Thailand. Still, my time here's almost up and I'm ready.

SylphJr: Ah, moved to Thailand - but just for six months; I'll be heading back soon. I love using quotes to show conflict, it streamlines to canon so well. People forget about Dudley and Harry's pre-Hogwarts past a lot, but Harry was bullied for years - and to be honest, it never really stopped.

And to nazgurl: **Harry gave them a 'big' chunk of his history at the end of chapter 25. Anything beyond that is really just details. Also, I subscribe to the 'history is already adjusted to fit this insertion' theory – considering how little Sirius and Remus talked about their time with James to Harry (-grrrr-), it's possible.** Thanks for understanding the lack of focus on Snape. Harry's in a very awkward position and he doesn't even like Snape himself. There will be more there though later.)


	33. The drameister

**I'm so glad you find this fanfic unique. Since I don't read much in the HP world, I figure that's why mostly. But if anyone has any recs, please let me know!**

**Now, some fluff and next chapter more plot!**

* * *

To my wonderful reviewers!!

Chillis - lol! Wow, what an offer – **to translate this fic into Spanish**! Sure, if you have the time & energy!

Lonely Moon 42 - "I think you've done an excellent job of keeping Harry in character and having him grow and adapt to the Marauder's influences." Thanks! That's exactly what I'm trying to do!

Umbrae Calamitas (:)!!! You wrote such a wonderful long review, thanks so much! And I loved your 'blessing': "Live long. Live well. Write. Read. Dream." You as well!

Nienna Telrunya – good insight about the trouble with the animagus. But a relative of a badger? That makes me think of Wolverine!

And thanks to:

Foreverforgetful, Cate.G (thanks!), 10thWeasley, BrainChild212, **Tsukino Akume (Yes I love the contrasts! "-Pokes hopefully- Pretty please? With young Marauders post-shower in towels on top?" LOL!),** flowerypetal, greek myths, Tori-chan, MinervaEvenstar (don't worry, it won't!), Origina1ity, goldeneyedgirl247, Hollow Mashiro, Aquanova (er…-nervous chuckle-), Acey Camui (yay!), Wazham, ObsidianEbony (:)), **Remember The Darkness (great idea!!! "May your reviews double, advice triple and enjoyment never cease" Thanks!),** NickleMT, insanechildfanfic, hogwarts-hero, Cross - The Damned Alchemist, Witchvela, shadowbee163, ClayCelloFire, magical-mystery-girl, 10000 Dead Roses, LxJ, leesh1012, **NightPersonified (good point, but I think that points to the irony – Harry's had to live his life with very little interaction with them!), **..01, Halfling, The Feral Candy Cane, Avatar Rikki, DoubleTime, hollyivy7, Bramblefang, Forever Flawless, Blackblood's Fury, Soul's Eclipse, forgotten-magick, CrystalMind, Nosi, blackrhino, spacegirl94, beauty0102, Quaff, StaplersBreak, Kylani, lilyre (YES!), MYsweetAngel, monkei10, ^^*, LupinandHarry, aimael (lol!), sukanya, LaurenMk17, kirbygirl86748935, Konoha's Kage, Zuzanny, FaithlessGirl, ladykind**,** Asterisks, Following Padfoot's Pawprints, Cathycalamitous, Sabishii Kage Tenshi , TeahLeafs (yes!), PlayKate, ashez2ashes, lilyre, keatlin, Concealed Convict (:)), Erroneously, BYoshi1993 (interesting points, but I see that as making him like an animagus Swiss army knife), Rori Potter, JaBoyYa, Estel Ashlee Snape, The Metronome Maven, honey-senpai, awaylaughingonafastcamel, Andromz, lotrhpfan1234, fattoad, Mysticalflame, Kari Minamoto (soooo agree!), killing u with umbrellas, LilyJames addict, Luzith, Moony's daughter, Meeh-san, stefunny2010, XxiceflamexX, Pledodge, LovelyLittleAngel144, Serpent91, hypercell, NekoDoodle, Ava Monroe (yup!), Tomorrows Dust, and romantiscue.

* * *

**Story insight:**

To Global Conquest-er, carcar3 and others – I think JKR did do a good job presenting shades of gray, through the shading of Harry's heroes (his father, Dumbledore, Sirius) and the double-sideness of Snape. But I do understand the differing comments I'm getting on Peter. Some of you are lauding me for including him at all, think it's just enough, - but at least one person sees me slighting him. My only defense is that Harry's p.o.v. has been important thus far and he's minimizing his interaction or observation of Peter. Also, I need people to warm up to teen-Peter before I can truly delve into him and show him as a realistic part of the Marauders dynamic without it seeming forced.

Second, Peter is not a totally evil person from birth. He's not even totally weak. The lengths he went for the Marauders and then Voldemort are quite impressive – but when it comes down to standing on his own, he is too weak and he's a coward. I will expand more on this.

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Best review:

Mimikooya – I love this!

"Harry: *slicks hair back* You're actually 20 years older than me~ Oh yeah that's hot~*steamy sexual look*

...

Yeah, dating in the past is a No-no." LOL!!!!!

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Chapter 33: Dra-meister

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"What are you doing down here?" Harry looked up to see Lily looking down at him, Kalista twirling a blond strand beside her. Both held books to their chest.

"Studying." He would've thought it was apparent from the spread of books around him and the scroll he was scribbling on.

"Yeah, but where's the rest of the quintuplets?"

"The rest of the quintuplets got banned, remember? Well, except Remus." That seemed like the norm for the Marauders. Remus seemed to be viewed as the most responsible and level-headed – he didn't end up with half the detentions o f the other three. Peter, as the inevitable tag-along, would end up being judged just as guilty as his partner, whoever it was for the day.

"But don't you guys, like, always stick together?" Kalista was blond and blue-eyed, and even though she wasn't really a 'dumb' blonde (she was one of only six students in the school getting full marks in History), she did play the ditz quite well.

"We actually do have separate bodies," Harry said dryly.

"It is kindof weird to see you without the guys." Harry's levity waned and he bit his lip. "You didn't have a fight did you?"

"No-"

Kalista's eyes lit up. Nothing did get her as enthusiastic as a juicy tidbit of gossip. "Oooh, there's something going on, isn't there?"

Under their inquisitive eyes, Harry folded. It didn't help that he was a bit nervous about it as well. "They're up to something." Lily raised an eyebrow. Obviously, this was not unusual, but the fact the new guy wasn't it on it?

"And they're not telling you?" she probed, a frown tugging at her lips.

"It's not something bad," he hurried to assure her. At least, that was his conclusion. Remus was in on it – but the looks he shot James and Sirius were tolerant mixed with amusement. As long as he knew about it and wasn't upset, Harry could reasonably assume whatever they were planning wasn't bad per say. Embarrassing however…

"The guys convinced me to postpone my O.W.L.s until Sunday," he said. "They said I definitely need to see Hogsmeade before it gets really cold, limited opportunities and all." There wouldn't be another one until after Holiday break.

The girls exchanged glances, Kalista now glowing with intrigue.

"You wouldn't happen to have any ideas would you?"

They shook their heads.

"But it's the Marauders," Kalista giggled, twisting her hair. "They always come up with the craziest stuff."

Oh now that was reassuring.

-

"I swear she's really starting to get on my nerves."

Sirius was laid out on his back on his bed, head and feet both dangling off the sides as he preferred. Sirius said he liked the feeling of increased bloodflow – the others just took it as one of his 'normal' quirks. Peter and Remus had their books out for studying, though Peter was paying more attention to the whiteboard James was studiously working over. This time was officially for date plotting, er planning, though Remus really wasn't sure what there was to plan. They'd already gotten Vinta, through Patrisia, to agree to the date.

James rolled his eyes, even though he didn't move from his place industriously scribbling on the board. "Oh yes, it's such a great burden being a boyfriend."

"I'm serious! She actually said I need to spend too much time with you guys and too little with her." Sirius' tone clearly demonstrated that idea's absurdity. Remus winced. That was the closest thing to a 'death knoll' he knew of in a Marauder relationship.

"Hey, at least you're getting snogged," Peter grumbled.

Sirius shook his head. "Nah, she's too young for any serious snogging."

"Oh yes, a whole year." Remus was unimpressed. Sirius never managed to keep dating for longer than a few weeks. He had always had a complaint: too young, too old, too mousy, too smart (not that he really admitted that one, but there was only so many times he could be shown up), too odd (her name was Melvina, enough said), too self-absorbed (Remus had rolled his eyes at that excuse, like Sirius was one to talk), too chatty, too moody (again, kettle hello pot).

"She's also-"

"Quit whining Padfoot," James said, still not looking up. "You know you can't break up with her. It'd ruin the plan."

Sirius shrugged, which looked a little weird as his shoulders were partially off the bed and upside down. "Maybe not; why wouldn't she still set up her friend with Flighty?"

Remus actually laughed. "Because he's your friend and girls always close ranks after you upset one."

"Yeah," chimed Peter, now pouting, "I still haven't been able to get a date with Sandra." Sandra was a Gryffindor underyear Peter had had a crush since the middle of fifth year. Sandra's friend had been one of Sirius' first girlfriends. Except Sirius had thought it wasn't that serious – and been caught with his tongue down another girl's throat.

James had the final word, finally capping his pen. "Just suck it up Sirius."

-

By Saturday morning, Harry still didn't know what the guys were planning. He considered faking sick and staying in bed, but he was 100% sure Sirius would drag him out of bed anyway. James actually would too – he kept pacing the room restlessly and asking when Harry was going to finally "drag his arse out of bed."

It wasn't until Harry was halfway through dressing that James spoke up again.

"Um Harry, why don't you use a fresh robe?" He hovered fretfully at his side.

Harry gave James an odd look – this was the boy who'd worn his dirty robes for a week, citing the victory of a hard-won Quidditch game. "I only wore it yesterday, maybe the day before that."

"But still," in a sudden whiplash of motion, he dug into his closet, "–and you should add some color."

Harry blinked, then took a suspicious look around. Since when did James become fashion conscious? Sirius and Peter nodded in agreement, Peter rather over-emphatically, though Remus seemed to be biting his cheek.

"Okay, what's going on?"

Remus smirked. "I suggest we tell him now," he said idly, not moving from his spot sitting on his bed. "So he has a little time to prepare."

Harry spun around. "Prepare for what?"

James put a placating hand on Harry's shoulder. "Well, we arranged for some company."

"Some company?" That made zero sense.

James avoided his eye, instead arranging the red and gold Gryffindor scarf around his neck. "Uh, female company."

"Prongs, you're making it sound like an escort service," Sirius snorted in amusement.

Harry's voice hit a high note. "Escort service?!?!?!?"

Peter snickered uncontrollably and Remus bit his lip.

Sirius shrugged philosophically. "Well, we figured a good snog was sure to clear up some of that brooding."

The look on Harry's face was priceless.

James winced and Remus joined Peter in laughing uncontrollably.

-

He'd been set up. By his future father and godfather with a girl a little younger than them – which still made her at least twenty years older than him in reality, not to mention no doubt married with children or at least cat-owning. He had a sudden vision of Mrs. Figg and he started a coughing fit out of thin air.

A very fine, soft hand patted his back, before quickly retreating.

He glanced up in time to see Vinta bright red and staring at her feet. "-you okay?" she fairly whispered.

Harry sighed internally, but said he was fine.

Vinta had scarcely spoken three words together the entire hour they'd so far spent in each other's company. It left Harry in the very odd position of being the one to carry the conversation, which was just plain weird. He had no idea how her friends had convinced her to go on this date, but it couldn't have been a surprise considering she a) hadn't fainted at the sight of him (just gone bright red – he was actually wondering what her real complexion was, as he hadn't seen it thus far) and b) hadn't run in the opposite direction. Or magically sunk into the ground (apparently this was a trick wizards had just mastered and were marketing as the guaranteed escape from any socially awkward scene).

"Umm, do you want to maybe go get some treats from the Honeydukes?"

Vinta gave a tiny nod, then giggled uncontrollably.

The giggling. It had to be a nervous reflex, but the girl giggled at everything. He said hello, she giggled. He asked her if she was chilly, she giggled. He pointed out a rabbit he saw nibbling on some grass, she giggled. She stubbed her toe on the curb, she giggled. She breathed, she giggled.

It kinda reminded him of Ginny when he first met her. Weren't girls supposed to grow out of that? Ginny had.

At least it was a little nice to think that a girl liked him without all the 'Boy who lived' baggage, but this was just ridiculous.

Honeydukes didn't help the giggling. He made the mistake of telling her about the first time he'd eaten chocolate frogs.

So much for the trip he'd been hoping to make to Zonko's.

-

"I cannot believe we are spending another Hogsmeade's visit spying on Harry." So far they'd watched the two walk by the woods, check out the owl post, and browse quills at Scrivenshaft's.

Saying it outloud didn't help. James didn't even bother glancing back from his position crouched behind a taffy machine, peering down the aisle to spot the prospective couple.

"Hey, this was your idea too," he did defend.

"I just said it might be nice for him to get to know her and the Hogsmeade Saturday would be an ideal setting," Remus eyed some Fizzing Whizbees and vaguely wondered if the magic in them was related to their first attempts at anti-gravity, "I did not insist on following them." Sometimes he wondered if he really was more mature than the rest of the guys – or if they were just more usually infantile. He hadn't come to a conclusion yet. Which reminded him… "Actually, I'd be more worried about Sirius screwing up than Harry."

Peter reappeared from where he'd disappeared down the aisles, holding a bulging bag of sweets. He was nibbling on a Cockroach Cluster and he offered one to Remus, whom he knew had a weakness for them.

"He didn't look too happy when Patrisia dragged him off," Peter agreed, getting a 'shh' from James.

"He'll be fine," James insisted after hissing at them to get more behind the end of the aisle. "He just hates hanging around Gladrags." Gladrags was the closest thing to a store for shopping Hogsmeade had, a fact that hardly went unnoticed by Hogswarts' females.

-

Out of options, they ended up at the Three Broomsticks. Hogsmeade wasn't that big and Harry'd been careful to avoid the Shrieking Shack. He really didn't want to know what Vinta thought about, if she actually dared to keep her mouth open long enough to say something about it. (He didn't even contemplate suggesting Madam Puddifoot's, as if it hadn't been awkward enough with Cho…)

The pub was bustling with Hogwarts business, a welcome respite from the nippy weather outside. He held the door for Vinta and himself, (he wasn't feeling so chivalrous), only to nearly walk into a pack of departing Slytherins. The first two he didn't recognize, underyears, but the last two were quite familiar. Bemley scowled at Harry's chest, while Snape sailed by. Harry was just going to brush off their behavior when he saw Vinta's face flush again. "Oh don't mind them, they don't really like me."

Her eyes jumped from their departing backs to his face. "Oh I don't!" she squeaked quickly, then sunk her face into her scarf in mortification.

The first thought that came to Harry's head was simply ludicrous. Idiotic. Fantastic.

Oh Merlin, she liked dark, brooding guys and that included Snape – and him.

She was probably some Slytherin's future mother.

He slouched into the first open booth. He was so never telling anyone about this.

-

"Are they snogging yet?" James was yet again peering anxiously at the to-be couple.

"Yet?" Remus snapped, but with reason. They were still following Harry and his date and it had just taken ten minutes to convince James that no, this would not be a good time to teach certain Slytherins lessons about basic decency.

"Even I know better than that," Peter said airily, looking up from his game parchment. The parchment stored a whole bunch of games and bored, Peter had started up some tic-tac-toe. Remus glanced down, looked like he kept losing too.

"Maybe we could do something to improve the mood…" he barely heard James mutter under his breath.

A loud voice nearly made James jump out of his skin and Remus felt a reluctant smile creep onto his face as Sirius sat down heavily. "Remind me to catch you up on etiquette before your next date Prongs – if you ever have one."

James blinked owlishly, fixing his glasses. "What are you doing here?" He forgot to keep his voice conspiratorially low.

"Patrisia wanted something to drink," he threw out a careless thumb blindly, "and there was no way I was walking into Puddifoot's." Sirius had only made that mistake once and he had the permanent pink confetti message: 'lovers forever' arranged on the back of one of his old robes to prove it. Peter snickered, obviously picturing it.

"But you can't be here!"

Sirius frowned at the chilly reception. "Oy Prongs, why are you so convinced I'm going to do something to mess this up?" Remus figured that Sirius thought he'd contributed enough to this set-up to be entitled to some leeway, because otherwise, it was a really dumb question.

"Experience?" Peter got to it before Remus.

Not rising to the bait, James ignored the question, gesturing at the two in question. "They need alone time," he said significantly.

"Thus why you four are huddled behind the coat rack." The four started, like toddlers caught tormenting a doggy they knew they weren't supposed to touch. Her voice was cool, but Remus swore that he could see a glimmer of amusement in her green eyes.

"Erm, hi Lily," he said, "Patrisia," he nodded to the girl at her side, blocking their view. The pretty brunette didn't look appeased. James straightened.

"So this is where you disappeared off to," Sirius' girlfriend announced. She dropped two Butterbeers on the table, causing them to slop over the sides. James was oblivious however.

"Look, Harry's on a date." Remus closed his eyes. Perhaps he should look into fitting James with some kind of anklet that had a mouth repellent – to be activated whenever Lily was around.

"Oh for goodness sake, can't you just get a life?" Remus didn't need his eyes open to know the exact look on the redhead's face, rising flush, lips downturned, shoulders and back stick straight – but he looked anyway.

"With you?" Sirius suddenly piped up, turning to Patrisia with folded hands over his chest and a winsome smile. She stared at him blankly and his smile straining, he turned to a more familiar foil: Peter.

The pudgy boy was prepared and batted his eyes, throwing out a limp wrist. "Why James!"

Lily scowled, her arms coming up to cross her chest protectively. The coat rack next to her wobbled at the sudden movement. "Very mature Black. You have my sympathies Patrisia," she said grandly, before leaving. Patrisia looked mortified.

James scowled. "I hate you guys."

-

"I hope it snows soon." You just knew a date was really plummeting when the weather re-appeared as the main conversational topic.

A moment later, Vinta's eyes widened and she gasped at the window. Harry turned.

Wisps of white were falling from the sky. He craned his neck to check out the clear, cool sky above. What on earth-

And then he noticed that they weren't really white, but pink tinged – and heart-shaped.

"Oh for the love…" he muttered, sinking his head into his sleeve.

Sometimes he really hated the Marauders.

-

"I can't take it anymore," Sirius' voice swelled to crescendo as he jumped to his feet, striking a dramatic pose as the entire room turned to look in their direction, "a man like me needs to be free!" A helpful waitress relocated the coat rack.

"A man?" Remus mouthed to Peter.

Patrisia went wide-eyed, a tide of red spreading from the base of her neck. "Well you – you're nothing but a wild animal Sirius Black!" As comebacks went it was weak, but she actually managed to match his volume, so she deserved some credit. Her head high and chin straight, she didn't even fumble opening the thankfully nearby door.

Peter hummed "Another One Bites the Dust."

Among the spectators, Vinta blinked and clearing her throat, giggled. "Um I think I gotta go. Um, thanks for the date," she blushed at Harry, saying the longest string of words she'd yet managed, then whisked her and Patrisia's coat off the belabored coat rack and disappeared out the door.

Harry blinked, then put down some Sickles and headed over to his very conspicuous friends. Sirius and James were heatedly arguing, complete with shoving (thankfully Remus and Peter were seated on the other side, making this easy) and finger-pointing.

Harry broke in while James was busy shaking said finger at Sirius' chest.

"That was awful Padfoot," he looked for a chair and pulled it up, biting his lip. "Would it be just as awful to thank you?"

Sirius immediately became smug, folding his arms against his chest and gave a 'hmph' at James. His best mate though looked confused, as well as Remus and Peter.

"It-it didn't go well?" James fretting was not a common sight, but Harry was in no mood to relish it. He paused. When he said no, James would demand details and probably begin a different set-up. He had no idea why his future father was so desperate to match him up, but there was no way he was going to endure that again. So he took a deep breath, turned to the Marauders and told a bald-faced lie.

"You know I actually do have a girlfriend."

"You do?" James was all ears, nearly climbing over Sirius so he could lock Harry eye-to-eye.

Sirius batted him to the side. "You've never mentioned her."

"Yeah well," he stalled, oh boy he really should've thought this out first. His brain raced, "you know how I am - private." No one could dispute that, but they suddenly got that look – the scent of fresh juicy gossip was under their noses. _Say something before there's too many questions! _"Um, remember, that personality girl? I, ah, didn't want you to tease me." He paused and then mentally shrugged. Well, in for a penny…"And she's very possessive, jealous - um, you probably shouldn't set me up again." As he smiled, he winced internally. Damn, he probably should've used Ginny as his faux girlfriend. She had way more of a temper than Luna.

To his complete surprise though, James looked relieved and leaned back, even as the others leaned in for the inevitable teasing.

-

"Writing a letter to your 'girlfriend'?"

He could hear the quotations and he froze over his books. But then swallowing, he shook his head and looked up at Remus. It was late night – as a Saturday night the common room was deserted, but Harry had begged out for some last minute studying before his O.W.L. retakes the next day. In honesty, it probably wasn't helping at all, but as Harry had no desire to contemplate his failed date, this was his only option.

Remus smiled down at him, his eyes twinkling. Taking a seat besides the erstwhile Marauder, he patted him on the shoulder. "Don't worry. It was a horrible lie, but I think Prongs actually believed you, though probably out of sheer wanting to."

Harry's first feeling was relief, quickly followed by the inevitable question, "Why?"

Remus shook his head. "You have no idea how nervous you make him, do you?"

"Huh?"

For the first time, Remus used his 'hello, this is common sense' voice on Harry (Sirius was usually the target, though the others had had their share of encounters). "He's afraid Lily likes you. All his other competition he's pranked, scared away, but you're a Marauder-"

"But I don't like her," Harry interrupted, "not like that at least."

Remus raised a hand, brushing off the complaint. "Doesn't matter. Sirius' said a few things about Lily liking you just to get James' goat, but you know how touchy James is about her. Not to mention it's Sirius. He could tell James that he could fly by just closing his eyes and wiggling his ears and James'd believe him."

"Would telling him she told me she only liked me as a friend help?"

He scratched his chin. "Maybe. But James isn't exactly the most rational when it comes to Lily."

"That's an understatement," Harry muttered. Dang, this made the Oedipus story look like a cakewalk.

"But James bought the 'girlfriend' bit," Remus went on, "–though you might want to tell Lily, 'cause I'm sure James'll find some way to 'subtly'," again the quotations were obvious, "drop that information in the next day or so." The two boys exchanged glances. When it came to Lily, James had all the subtly of a hyped up Sirius.

"But don't worry about that now," Remus advised. "Focus on the O.W.L.s and then, guess what's on the agenda."

"What?" Harry asked warily.

"Animagus training. It's the top priority for the next month." Harry couldn't help but reflect Remus' grin.

Now that was something to look forward to.

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	34. So you want to be an animagus

Notes: Dra-meister is a made-up word. It's basically a pun, Mister drama, like drama queen. Also, this chapter is not the height of drama or action, but they WILL be coming soon, so keep reading!

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Best quote goes to oirishgoddess: (thanks!)

"It has everything: the hilarity of the Marauders' pranks, the seriousness (ah-ha) of their friendships and the secrets, the romantic tensions (poor, poor James!) the mystery of Harry, the angst about their fall-outs (for a while there, I DID want to actually hit Sirius) and of course, plenty of dramatic action. Perfect!"

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To all my lovely reviewers, thanks!

Dawn Fall Xx, Riane's Codex, puffindance, FaithlessGirl, Avatar Rikki, crystalgirlalways, TMRC (Yes!), dakka123, softballfreak878, Luzith, Priyu0624, Lightning Struck, Shoten Shinzui (hair dye will be coming up!), AmberZ, silent-massacre (I agree!), flowery petal (no), LeLa London (thanks!), ShinSheeka, TheContheDistance (I love it too!), Nights Silhouette, Peeps94 (-big smile-), Rebel Goddess, ariex, Zuzanny, CanadianWolf, DoubleTime, him-mione (lol!), Sabishii Kage Tenshi, Kjkit, mimikooya (lol!), Meeh-san, Crystal Mind (-wince-), Ava Monroe, Edwards-girl-from the start, thetoyogluestick (lol!), JaBoyYa, Goldeneyedgirl247 (I agree! Peter isn't as smart as the others, but people do underestimate him), KG86, Ladykind2008, MYsweetAngel, Chillis, ObsidianEbony, Lady Eccentric, twilight-h.p.-maxride4ever, sapphire, killing u with umbrellas, Estel Ashlee Snape, LovelyLittleAngel144, sukanya, LupinandHarry, hyper cell, jonayla, Moony's daughter, Pledodge (Woah thanks. Anyway, being gay would've just been more awkward - and invariably everything would think he liked James or Remus or Sirius or something.), Asterisks, fattoad, Serpent91, Rori Potter, PeOtIcalLyPtheTic, spirit-of-the-season09, cyiusblack, Lilyre, Tomorrows Dust, Beauty0102, Tori-chan, Drayconette, Andromz

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34) So you want to be an animagus

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Harry had barely made it through the door of the dorm room after taking his O.W.L.s when he was pounced on by a hyperactive Sirius. They'd went well as far as Harry was concerned. Anything would be better than the original circumstances he'd taken them in…

"Time for the celebration to begin!"

Harry allowed himself to be dragged by the exuberant boy to a seat at the head of a short round table that most certainly not been there before he left. The table was piled high with treats and snacks bought from Honeydukes and some that had to be from the elf-run Hogwarts kitchen. For instance, the trembling florescent green upside down jelly bowl that was situated in the middle of the table.

"What exactly are we celebrating?" he asked.

"Well, you finished your O.W.L.s at last," Sirius was momentarily distracted by the wobble in his chair to Harry's right and he tapped it with his wand, "and you're becoming an official Marauder!"

"Isn't this a bit late?" Only Remus looked up at this. Peter was carefully arranging a few last treats and James was still transfiguring the last of the chairs even as Sirius fiddled with his. Harry noticed his bed was missing and he made a mental note to check his sheets for unpleasant surprises before going to bed that night.

Remus took the seat next to him, using a discarded robe as a cushion. "I made the mistake of mentioning a Muggle holiday was last Thursday."

Harry's brows wrinkled. "Thanksgiving? But that's American! Brits don't even celebrate it."

Remus shrugged. "Sirius's always been a rebel."

"Besides, think of it as celebrating the beginning of the Christmas season," James said, patting the chair he'd just finished and looking up. Sirius hurriedly sat down and at Harry's raised eyebrow, Remus muttered something about being touchy about his transfiguration.

"Well, let's go around and say what we're thankful for," Sirius spoke up. He turned to Peter, who was caught mid-gulp of a custard. "Okay, he's thankful for the food," he teased. Peter blushed lightly and sat down. Good natured joking, it made something tighten Harry, a pang of unreality that reminded him he just couldn't quite fit here… "Bet I can guess all you guys."

Remus rolled his eyes and became the first target. "Moony's thankful for few detentions and not being the sole scholar anymore."

James laughed, settling at the other head. Sirius grinned wickedly. "And of course Prongs is thankful for Flighty's girlfriend." James turned bright red as Peter snickered, then cleared his throat.

"I'm thankful for our new friend Harry."

Harry smiled wistfully, gazing across at his future father. "You stole mine."

Sirius shook his head, clapping a comradely arm over Harry's shoulder. "Definitely not! We're thankful for being saved from the harpy and the giggler."

"Don't call her that." Harry shrugged off Sirius' arm and Sirius' smile dropped in confusion.

"Aw c'mon, I thought you didn't like her."

Harry didn't soften. Sirius had a big mouth about some things and the last thing he wanted was the girl to be stuck with that nickname. "I don't enjoy humiliating other people."

His uneven edges, the ones that didn't, couldn't fit here in this place, this time, rubbed out beyond his skin and the atmosphere changed. Remus had frozen, nagging guilt lapping at him, even as James smiled uneasily. Sirius kept eye contact with Harry, almost a challenge.

James broke the silence. "I can guess Padfoot's," he ignored the last minute. "He's thankful for more adventures, 'specially with turning Flighty into an animagus." Harry and Sirius still stared at each other, Peter eying them nervously until Sirius finally gave a reluctant nod. James jumped in at the motion with forced cheerfulness. "Now dig in."

Dinner wasn't subdued for long, but Harry didn't meet Sirius' eye the entire meal. Some disagreements could only be delayed, not derailed.

-

As soon as the dinner was finished, the training ("for real this time," Sirius stressed) began. James cleared the floor, turning the table back into Harry's bed and restoring night stands to their proper shape. Harry saw Peter sniff his and had the bad feeling the room was going to have a certain food aroma for awhile.

"So how long did it take you to become an animagus?" Harry asked, striving for innocence as he sat on the edge of his bed. Maintaining that illusion was the only reason he hadn't asked previously. Besides, the guys had been so excited about it, he'd figured they had to know how to do it in a shorter time.

"Three years," Sirius answered as James kicked his nightstand, whose legs were still half a meter too high.

"Then how-"

"We actually spent most of the first year trying to figure out what spell would turn us into animagi," James said, finally getting the legs back to their proper size.

"Charm, potion, magical item," Peter listed, settling himself on his bed. He patted his full stomach.

"There's a spell?" Harry had never actually talked to Sirius about his animagus transformation and though he was relatively new to the magical world, he had a sense that it was definitely more complex than just waving a wand or even mixing a potion.

"Those are all short-cuts." Remus dismissed, leaning back into his chair which he'd taken the liberty of charming cushions to supplement it. James shot the chair a black look. "Actually researching the theoretical underpinnings of the transformation was unpopular."

"Really Moony, if you hadn't called it 'theoretical underpants-" Sirius cut in. He was settling into his bed, creating a burrow in the middle that belied his desire to turn into Padfoot and lounge.

"Pinnings," Remus corrected.

"Whatever."

"We even came up with our own spell!" Peter suddenly piped up, brightening as he most likely realized that he had bragging rights he could finally share.

There were a round of winces.

"You guys came up with a spell?" Harry asked interested. It had never occurred to him that someone could just do that, though in retrospect someone had to have created all the spells in the first place.

"It was a very, very bad idea," Remus said solemnly.

"It just needed a little tweaking." Sirius defended weakly.

"And how were you going to know what to tweak?" It was humorous how the boys traded off between us and you. The Marauders were both more united and more divided than they appeared to the outside world. But Harry had a more important consideration.

"You didn't – on yourselves?" A vision of a feline Hermione flitted into his mind. She'd been in the Hospital Wing for weeks because of that incident.

"Hell no!" James exclaimed. "But we did test it." The guys exchanged looks as James went on heistantly, "And it had to be on something living-"

"Mr. Norris." Sirius, as always, got straight to the point.

Harry blinked. "Mister?"

"The original partner of Mrs. Norris," Remus explained.

"Nasty, mangy little furball," Sirius muttered.

"But she's just a kitten." Two feline Norrises? Harry suppressed a shudder. One was more than enough.

"Sneazles take a while to mature. Mrs. Norris will probably be a kitten until we graduate. She'll probably be stalking the halls for decades," all the guys made faces, Peter in particular shuddering. "Anyway, Filch originally got two kittens - he named them Mr. and Mrs. Norris; I think he was intending to bred them."

Sirius let loose a full body shudder jumping up from his bed. "So we really did the school a service!"

The idea was horrid, but Harry was still curious. "So what happened to him?"

"We don't know," James said gravely. "We did the spell in one of the back hallways and he ran as soon as it finished, like a bat out of hell. But he was changing…"

Peter leaned forward. "Filch totally suspected us because he came running and we were still there. And some people think they've seen him - as this monstrous thing in the dark corners of the castle."

"If they saw him as something else, how do they know it's the cat?" Harry deadpanned.

Peter opened his mouth, then closed it, at a loss.

James cleared his throat, deciding to bypass the whole incident. "Don't worry. We left well enough alone after that. Instead, we hit the library for theory."

"And found _The Inner Animal_," there were groans all round and Remus frowned, shaking his finger at them. "No complaints! I only made you read that little section. I had to read the whole book!"

"That bad?" Harry empathized, recalling the months in the library he'd spent with Hermione and Ron researching various things.

"Just incredibly dry reading."

"You'd think there'd be at least some interesting illustrations," Sirius collapsed on his bed, stomach down, "I mean _The Inner Animal, _doesn't that just sound promising?"

Remus cracked a smile. "Padfoot really just wanted a picture book." He tactfully ignored the pillow that came sailing at him and missed by a meter. Sulking, Sirius withdrew into Padfoot and curled up on his bed. "There was a section on animagi. The author had interviewed the list of registered animagi to get their description of what it was like to 'actualize their inner animal' as he put it."

"Which led us to McGonagall." McGonagall, who could turn into a cat. Of course. "You've probably heard she's an animagus," Harry nodded, again projecting innocence, "well, we got Remus to chat her up, fish for clues and maybe gets some tips on controlling the wolf."

Harry looked over at the werewolf. "Did it work?"

Remus shrugged noncommittally. "I got some good pointers. Finding out what the transformation required is one thing though; doing it is a completely other. The way McGonagall put, 'It's about being what you are, not who you are.'"

"What you are," Harry repeated, brow wrinkled.

Remus nodded, steepling his hands. "You can't turn yourself into an animal without knowing what animal first – and an animagus only has one form, which you have to discover."

"But how do you know that?" It sounded much like chicken and the egg conundrum.

James and Remus exchanged looks. "That's the rub. We wasted almost all of third year trying to find a shortcut. So fourth year, we tried to find ways to figure that out."

"Thus the animal survey."

"Yeah. Only Sirius was close to transforming by the end of that year. It was fifth year that we actually managed the technicalities." Harry expected Sirius to pipe up, probably to brag, but there was only a little whistling noise. Looking over at his bed he realized Padfoot had fallen asleep. He wasn't the only one. Peter, back still to his back board, was out with him mouth partly open.

"Looks like the celebration really is over," Remus deadpanned. He and Harry shared a grin, even as James muffled a yawn.

"Guess we'll pick up tomorrow night." And with that, the remaining Marauders hit the sack.

-

Some people had accused Harry of living a charmed life.

This was not true.

Between school plots and tensions, being famous, Voldemort trying to kill him and living with the Dursleys, Harry could say this was categorically untrue.

But for the first time, he understood what it was to have one.

The Marauders really were the royalty of the school. Charming teachers, goofing off, acing classes, making it all appear effortless - as much as some of it was illusion - all the while reveling in their fraternity and the huge secret they were hiding from the rest of the world…

It was, it was - _heady._

It bred its own intimacy, one none outside could fathom. A brotherhood apart from blood.

And Harry was a part of it.

And unlike with 'the Golden Trio', there was nothing outside to interfere with it.

No death plots, fears of madness, of evil running through his veins, no teachers who hated him, fawning fans or bitter archrivals, no spotlight, no demands, no second-guessing his actions and if they would result in someone's death, no one prying into his brain, no cursed label of 'the Boy who lived.' No need to brood, to focus on the gap between what was and what he so desperately wished could be.

Here he was simply Harry Patterson, Flighty.

He was a Marauder - soon to be one in all senses of the word.

"The first step," said James, "is self-revelation - you have to figure out what animal you are inside."

The guys plied him with aids: they were as diverse and broad in their range as the boys themselves.

James engorged a whole pile of personality tests, more sophisticated than Sirius' original one. Harry had been puzzled until he found a hastily scrawled note on one that discussed complimentary personalities: 'send to Lily?' One side had already been done. He allowed himself a smile, but decided not to mention it to the rest of the guys. James was still being teased over their last Hogsmeade adventure.

James had also, as an aside, mentioned using a truth potion: 'to discuss the core of oneself' as Remus put it. Harry had almost had a heart attack, but thankfully its rare nature had made the guys dismiss it altogether. It was actually the rejected ideas they mentioned that made Harry fervently glad he hadn't been around the first time they'd attempted the transformations. Sirius had topped James by admitting they had used LSD and some other hallucinogens.

Casually, as if it wasn't a big deal, Sirius had said, "Wasn't so helpful though. Got to see some pretty out there visions, but nothing having to do with animals. The trance herbs helped a bit more-"

Harry had been completely lost and Remus had pitched in, "A number of tribes around the world would use herbs to invoke trances - in the case of some Native Americans, that trance would show their spirit guide, which would be an animal."

Sirius had nodded. "Figured we might be able to see ours, which's probably be our animagus form."

Harry had heard recreational drugs had been big in the '70s, but the idea was still unnerving, especially having them explained as a viable part of a plan to become animagus. Thankfully, the guys' joint conclusion had been it didn't really work. Sirius had joked he love to see Harry take an acid trip, but James had ruled they'd have to go to a whole bunch of trouble to get it and it wasn't worth it. Harry had been beyond grateful.

Until Remus had finished, "Besides the dream charm works way better. And we have to focus on that potion-"

"Dream charm? Potion?" Harry's idea of this process being simple fun was rapidly disappearing.

"We figured out a modification of the _Dream Deep_ charm that will let you dream as an animal. Since you dream from your subconscious, it works off your to-be animagus self," Remus had reassured, though the fact they'd modified it, after the Norris story, wasn't terribly reassuring. No one would explain the potion though. They'd all grinned and said it was surprise.

Thankfully, the other plans were tamer, except the hypnosis. Only Peter had been helped by that little experiment though, so they gave it up as a bad job. Also, apparently Remus had been accidentally hypnotized too and broken a tooth on someone's headboard. Harry couldn't figure out how you could do that accidentally, but it was a touchy subject (Remus had glowered at Sirius at this point and Harry had left well enough alone).

Actually some of the ideas were downright dumb. Remus had made the mistake of mentioning how in a book he'd read, each letter had a numerical value. The guys had spent two whole weeks trying to figure out how much their names totaled and what animals had the same figure. When Sirius had ended up with a zigzag salamander, they'd given up.

Then there was the smell taste. Remus actually thought this was a viable one - finding out how you reacted to certain food smells and animal smells. He said it could help you determine if you were predator or prey, herbivore or carnivore. Sirius thought it was ridiculous.

"Prongs can plow through a steak just like I can - but he's supposed to be an herbivore!" James, though shooting Remus a sympathetic look, had agreed.

Sirius had agreed though that since Harry reacted so coolly to danger, he was probably a predator, not prey.

So they charmed his dreams and he underwent a marathon of personality questionnaires. It was a bit overwhelming, but when he tired of them, he could lay his head on his pillow and dream of rushing wind, instead of Voldemort, death, or gaping hallways.

After three days, he was able to conclusively say he dreamt of flying. Not all were pleased with this announcement.

"It could be swimming," James said. Sirius and Peter snickered.

"Someone jealous Prongsy?" James batted Sirius away.

"I'm serious! Rushing wind, rushing water, you can't really tell the difference in a dream." Remus had rolled his eyes, but muttered it was possible.

Sirius scratched his head thoughtfully. "Wouldn't be much help Marauding if he was a fish. Probably be really tiny then."

"Maybe not," Peter said unexpectedly. "James gets bigger, maybe Harry would turn into something really big."

"Like a whale?" Sirius said, joking, until his eyes lit up. "We could get him into Hogwarts lake, get the squid up and do races. We could charge-"

"That'd be great," Peter agreed, perking up as well. "Hey, we could even place bets on the winner-"

"I'm not going to be a whale!"

"Any fast fish would do," Sirius shrugged.

"Whales aren't fish," Remus couldn't help but correct, not that anyone noticed. James just looked pleased.

Friendly ribbing, Harry still wasn't used to it. But he was getting there. It was like he was one of them - he _was _one of them.

Flighty was no longer just a nickname, he **was **Flighty.

A Marauder, a brother to Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs. One who joined the line when coming across Peter being harassed by two Slytherins after his Potions class; one who overlooked a joke of Sirius to James about an underyear apparently he'd hexed recently. It wasn't a big deal, just exuberance, right?

And the moments he forgot he was not, not Flighty or Patterson or blonde, became streams of time rather then edged fragments.

Why would he realize he was losing himself, when he'd never wanted, asked to be himself?

-

**To elysianwinter, about your ideas of the plothole - I would've answered you privately, but you didn't sign in when you left your review:**

Forget was a strong word, but considering the tragedies awaiting them, Harry would most likely fade to the background, compared to Peter's betrayal and James' death. Remus is far more likely to remember good times with just James and Sirius in the end, Harry was/will only be there for a year. Did Remus really forget? No. But would that even matter? Any parallels he would dismiss and he is more looking for traces of James and Lily really. Flighty, as far as he knows, is long dead and gone.

Perhaps a better way to explain is the Superman phenomenon. The only difference between Clark Kent and Superman is actually a pair of glasses. Exact physical features, but different characteristics. But what really made the disguise was the fact people were just not expecting Clark Kent to be Superman. They weren't looking for him as a 'normal' person. And they were even operating at the same time. The simple fact Remus doesn't realize Harry Patterson = Harry Potter is why would he? He wouldn't consider time travel, any similarities he could brush off - and in his mind, there are enough constructed differences: hair, age, last name, history and well death.

But I do agree no oblivation.


	35. Breaking the cycle?

**Okay announcements! Chillis is translating my story into Spanish!!! So if Spanish is your first language, head over to her account and let me know how it's going!!!**

**Now, thank you to Erroneously, Von and gatogirl1, who all commented on Harry's self-forgetting. It's a mix of Harry's own wanting to forget his real life, peer pressure and undercover work. Undercover agents often find themselves forgetting themselves when forced into another role for months at a time - and become very attached to the 'enemy.' (Undercover ops usually don't last for over a year for that very reason.) Also, I loved Von's explanation: "I like the almost-sinister undercurrent of Harry loosing his identity in this new, easier life. It's a great example of peer pressure being more than some idiot daring you to dash in front of a train - it's a state of behavior encouraged and perpetuated by the example of your peers." **

**Now this will be dealt with in this chapter, but will most likely crop up again.**

* * *

Time for props and praise!

To HadleyConlon - "I LOVE THIS STORY. It's pimpin'." I'm not sure why but ROTFLMAO!!!!

Props also go to the person who called my story "a beast" and once or twice for the comparison to a Bruce Springstein song.

Best quote goes to:

SolemnXAngel "I'm in love with this story. Seriously and devotedly in L-O-V-E... do you give your permission for the story's hand... er words in marriage? I want to have little chapter babies with it. Lmao" LOL!!!!!!! (Erm, I don't think that's legal…or possible…)

Best review, hands down goes to L'arlesienne, who proved that the 'Superman phenomenon' is actually "super-hypnosis enhanced by his glasses made from Kryptonian glass." Lol! Go figure. I stand by my theory.

* * *

Thanks to all my reviewers!!

Hedwigs-biggest-fan, Osprey Eman, Nosi, bookwormofmassiveproportions (yay!), litlebaib, Oirishgoddess, KG86, LiliaGryffindor'sHeir376 (I've already thought that out - why wouldn't he be able to be one in the future? And as for Lily & James, I agree.), DaisyAnimeluvr (absolutely), TheScarletSerpent (thanks!), Takethistoyourgrave (interesting, but probably not), Obsidian Ebony (thanks, trying to judged what should be detailed and not), Avatar Rikki, Aquanova (no idea!), MYsweetAngel, Loveshbhp, JaBoyYa, Ava Monroe (so I've heard…and we'll see), I-want-to-fly (well, they are really, really good friends), MinervaEvenstar, (oh please, I do it all the time!), ShinSheeka (yes!), LunaLovegood1117 (letters sending), Sabishii Kage Tenshi, Cheelalaucha, Wandering Hitokiri, Goldeneyedgirl247, Fattoad, stardusted-dream, flowery petal, Following Padfoot's Pawprints, Riane's Codex, Rori Potter, LeLa London, Mercuryembers2, Lady Eccentric, Beauty0102, lilyre, Global Conquest-er, Orange, Asterisks, Meeh-san, killing u with umbrellas, stefunny2010, twilight-h.p.-maxride4ever, Shoten Shinzui, Chillis, LupinandHarry, romantiscue, JP123, Angel-Miko, Siriuslyseriouspadfootlover, Lunalovegood12321, Jonayla, Serpent91, FaithlessGirl, Technophobia678, and Nights Silhouette

Now unto the next chapter: excerpts/quotes largely from Snape's Worst Memory (OotP) and Harry's discussion with Remus and Sirius later.

* * *

-

Breaking the cycle?

-

-

In hindsight, it was no surprise that it was Lily who jarred him out of it.

He was busy working on his part of a group essay the guys had been assigned. After years of always working together (and quite a number of fights), the guys had perfected an order system. James came up with the main ideas (or at least had final vote), Peter did research, Remus drafted, Sirius and James examined and wrote their own 'interesting' paragraphs which Remus then had integrate - and Peter did final read-over. It worked pretty well, as James and Sirius could work quite hard when necessary. Remus, citing years' overabuse however as the guys were procrastinators, had lobbed first drafting on Harry's shoulders - thus the half month early work. (Though to be fair, the full moon had just passed so Remus had excuse for not being up to it.)

"So Harry, what time do you want to meet for the Slughorne's Christmas Fling?" Harry looked up to see Lily standing over him. He'd needed room to spread out so he'd descended to the Common Room.

"Huh?"

"The Fling," Harry still looked blank so she prompted him, "It's tomorrow night Harry."

"Um, I think I'm doing something with the guys that night - don't think I'll make it," he answered absently. He hadn't seen Lily much lately, just in class, but choosing between Slug Club and Marauder time? Besides, whatever Potion they'd been brewing was supposed to be ready soon…

Lily shook her head and crossed her arms. "Am I to expect unpleasant pranking that night?" She gave a half-laugh. "You're becoming more like them everyday."

It wasn't the words. He could've considered it a compliment.

It was the tone. Despite a veneer of amusement, and if it had only been that his heart would've simply expanded, there was an undercurrent.

Regret?

Disgust?

Resignation?

Whatever it was exactly, Harry's bubble was pricked.

-

He couldn't focus.

It was just one comment, one measly comment. It didn't mean anything and, and even if it did, it was just Lily's opinion.

Lily…

He blinked rapidly, forcing himself not to consider who Lily was - _will be_.

Lily as just, just an outsider. What did she know of the Marauders? She didn't understand their fraternity, their dedication; what was bad about being a Marauder?

**"How extraordinarily like your father you are, Potter. He too was exceedingly arrogant."**

A chill ran down his spine. No! He had to keep his mind on the present, the past.

She'd known them for six years - how could his few months compare?

"**You make me SICK."**

He dropped his quill, his head into his head, his own stomach lurching.

He didn't want to think like Harry Potter, the Boy who knew and seen too much. He didn't want to think about his real past, death, betrayal - it was so much easier to not be serious. To just be Harry Patterson, unrelated to James Potter, Sirius Black, Lily Evans (_Potter_); no memory of Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Severus Snape.

Snape…

**"You're as bad as he is..."**

**What made him feel so horrified and unhappy was that he knew how it felt to be humiliated in the middle of a circle of onlookers, knew exactly how Snape had felt as his father had taunted him, and that judging from what he had seen, his father had been every bit as arrogant as Snape had always told him.**

He didn't want to be responsible, to think! For once in his life…

It was hopeless. He slammed his books shut and retreated to the dorm room.

-

And still, the bubble might not have burst, but for timing…

-

The guys were out late retrieving snacks. Remus had prompted the trip, perhaps feeling bad for the fact he'd dumped 'his' work on Harry.

They tumbled into the room in their usual haphazard matter, only this time Peter was laughing hysterically, while James and Sirius were grinning like idiots.

"Man, that was perfect - did you hear how high the redhead's voice got?" Peter wheezed.

"Mixing the Enlargement charm with Twitchy Ears was great, though maybe we could switch it up a little - like ass' ears!"

"Sheer brilliance Mr. Padfoot," James said, leaping up to pose on the wooden foot of his bed.

"Why thank you, Mr. Prongs. Excellent job yourself." They swapped elaborate bows.

His insides throbbed as Remus just stood aside, the smile on his face faint.

"**Did I ever have the guts to tell you I thought you were out of order?"**

Sirius flopped unto his bed on his back. "Hey Flighty, I heard the old Slug is having his Christmas feast this Friday. Bunch of simpering windbags. You're not going are you?" That was Sirius - and he could almost see the future lines of hatred hardened by Azkaban in his disgust.

"Yes I am," he said intensely. Remus picked up on it and looked over - Sirius, of course, did not.

"But-" He failed to see the tension in Harry's shoulders, to see the signs. But when had he ever read the signs right? _He must've gotten that from both of them…_

"But what? You need me to play more pranks on innocent victims?"

"Innocent?" Sirius asked bewildered, sitting up. "You've-"

"Look - it's not a big deal!" James cut in, obviously not fully understanding Harry's undercurrent, but going on the defensive.

"Of course it's not," Harry mock agreed, sarcasm biting, "it's not like they matter. It's not like it's _Serious_," he punned viciously. "I've lived my whole life being bullied by guys like you, because it's so damn fun!" They were shocked, utterly, completed. Peter (_Wormtail _something hissed inside) looked terrified, but James was shocked speechless. He gave a half-laugh at their amazement, at his sudden outburst, at Remus with guilt in his eyes, at himself. He ran hand through his hair. "And here I am, becoming one of you."

Sirius who'd been gearing up for his own retort, stopped short.

Silence.

Harry just shook his head, closing his eyes briefly. "I need some air."

Grabbing his broom, he didn't bother making his way out the room door, through the portal - he marched to the window and opened it, ignoring the shutters slamming against the iron gray stone outside, and pitched himself out.

Sirius frowned. "What the hell's the matter with him?"

-

He wasn't brooding.

No, that was part of old Harry - ha, now that was a laugh. Lily had become either frustrated or resigned to his moroseness and gone off to talk to her friends, enjoying the Christmasy atmosphere of the usually somber Potions room. His first chance to spend time with her in weeks and he couldn't even hold a conversation with her.

"**You think you're funny, but you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag."**

But he couldn't help himself. His head was a mess.

As if he hadn't been conflicted enough, Remus had caught him by the elbow leaving for breakfast that morning. "Just so you know, the boys James and Sirius hexed were talking about how 'mudbloods' probably wouldn't be attending school much longer and that it would be a relief." His lips had tightened. "That made a difference to me, maybe it shouldn't've."

**"I wouldn't want you to judge your father…"**

Was it an excuse or legitimate?

When Remus had first told him that - he'd been feeling so betrayed, so horrified at seeing his father like that, Sirius, and then Lily so disgusted - he didn't understand and worst of all, at that moment the only one he'd been able to relate to was Snape. Severus Snape who hated his father, hated him, hated Sirius, despised Remus - so antithesis to everything Harry was attached to and yet…

**Whatever Dumbledore said, he would never forgive Snape.**

It was hard to stir up the old memories side-by-side to his own hatred? Animosity? Dislike? He closed his eyes, suddenly having flashes of Dudley and Piers and Malfoy (Mad-Eye Moody _- or who he thought Moody was - _transforming Malfoy into that shrieking skinny ferret, impacting with the stones on the floor - he laughed so _hard_.)

So lost in his reverie, he completely missed Severus' approach.

"So I heard you managed to make a couple of underyear Ravens cry," the boy, man hissed and with his eyes closed, Harry couldn't tell the difference. He opened them to see the sallow face of a teenager. "Safe enough to do it five on two?"

"I wasn't with them," he said, not sure it even mattered.

"Oh I'm sure that made the odds much more even. Quite a bunch, you Marauders," he spat out the word.

"They're more than that." As Snape's sneer faltered, Harry couldn't help recall his first real vision of young Snape. Pale and stringy, like a plant kept in the dark…_how pale had he been coming out of his cupboard?_ "But for what it's worth, I'm sorry."

Severus looked at him like he'd just declared himself a Voldemort-loving Muggle. For the first and probably only time in Harry's life, Severus Snape actually looked flustered. "Yes well," he seemed somewhat lost, "it doesn't."

He turned to stalk off.

It was so, so dumb.

In that moment he felt insignificant - helpless against the senseless juvenile hatred that would span a lifetime.

What was he thinking, that what he said mattered? One comment and he could just break the cycle? His temple throbbed and he rubbed it. His chest ached, but he couldn't reach far enough in to reach that, and he wanted to be anywhere, anytime, than here.

-

He wasn't apologizing, not this time. What right did Harry have to judge them? He hadn't even been there! He didn't know, didn't understand-

"**I've lived my whole life being bullied by guys like you, because it's so damn fun!"**

Something rather unpleasant squirmed in his chest, the same thing that made him clench after Sirius had revealed his trick on Severus, that made him wonder if Lily was right, that made him listen to Remus' rare lectures.

James had always been popular, happy, on top - ironic since he'd gathered such a bunch of misfits: an errant member of a Dark Family, a designated Dark creature, and a hapless tag-a-long. Somehow together, they'd formed a group where they all fit. Together they were something, a force to be reckoned with - and maybe it had become too much.

James had never been an outcast. Cherished by his parents, the only child, grown in a Wizarding community, pure-blooded but with pro-Muggle sentiments, a child of wealth, Quidditch talent, a good head on his shoulders - he'd rarely experienced failure or disappointment or even hardship.

Perhaps that was what drew him to his friends though. They had such hard lives and he wished, from the deepest parts of him, that he could make them easier, better.

Pranking was just for entertainment, an outlet for fun. But hexing…

"**I've lived my whole life being bullied by guys like you, because it's so damn fun!"**

A bully. He'd never considered himself a bully. Well, Lily's comments had given him pause, but he always thought if she'd just sit down and let him talk - if she just got to know him - _like Harry -_

There was no one for him to talk to - Sirius didn't really go out of his way to hex people, he couldn't be bothered, and Remus just looked at him with guilty eyes.

A bully. Picking on the weak, laughing at their helplessness - but it wasn't like he just did it for no reason. He always had a reason - whispered, hissed remarks about Remus or Sirius or Peter or Muggle-borns - he had to defend them! But was that a good enough reason?

He rubbed his temples. Perhaps - he could change. Change, even the thought of the word lodged in his throat. His time in Hogwarts was slowly coming to a close - and things were changing, no matter how much he wished otherwise. To always walk the Hogwarts halls, laughing and joking, being carefree - not worrying about future careers, prejudice (his heart ached for Remus) and Death Eaters.

But change was inevitable. And what was this change in the scheme of things? Maturing wasn't it? Learning to resolve things without your wand?

_And what of Snape?_

He stood up, his consideration dissipating.

Snape was different - and James suspected that that would never change, given a certain emerald-eyed female.

-

"I'm sorry." He was still in the doorway when he said it. But he didn't want anymore time to go by estranged from them. It was too late to regret his presence in this time, to begrudge how and what he was learning about the boys, men in front of him. He stepped further in.

"I can't judge you guys." Sirius had a hard look in his eyes, but James took a deep breath. Harry went on before he could say anything though. "All this is just really intense for me," unconsciously, he ran his hand through his air as his eyes drifted to the floor. "I guess, it's just you guys have had so much time to get used to each other and all this," he made an indistinct hand gesture, "-I can't just fit in like that. There are parts of me-" He struggled to verbalize. "- I can't just agree with everything you do and sometimes, it's just a bit much."

"I'm not a bully," James suddenly stated, making Harry's eyes snap up at the abruptness. James looked uneasy and swallowed. "I'm not and - I don't want to be," now all eyes were on him. But James just firmed his lips and didn't say anything more.

After a pause, Harry licked his lips and gave his peace offering, "I'm not dreaming just of flying." It had been another few nights; he was sure.

"Or swimming," James piped up reflexively, inadvertently breaking the somber mood.

Harry rolled his eyes as Sirius sniggered. "I'm looking for something, I dunno, hunting?"

Sirius' eyes lit up. "A predator, I knew it!"

Remus gave a weak smile. "Seeking," he mused, "that fits with you being a Seeker."

Harry bit his lip; he wasn't oblivious to the parallels to his life. He had to wonder which had influenced which - had his life reflected his nature or his nature affected his life?

And in return for one peace offering, the original Marauders offered their own. Sirius retrieved the pot that had been simmering in the shower for the past week or so (almost every Marauder had nearly dipped their feet in it on their stumbling way to an early morning or late night shower), Remus at his side warning him to be careful. (Harry wasn't sure why, that only seemed to make Sirius pretend to spill it at least twice.)

"So what exactly is that?" Harry eyed the reddish-brown brew with some trepidation. It was a lot thicker than the potions he usually made in Potions, almost fudge-like, and it had a faint smell that he couldn't identify, but made him feel edgy.

"This is the Brew of _Bestia Esses _or Nature of the Beast as its commonly known," Remus instructed. "It was actually originally fashioned by this guy Bestion when Darwin's evolutionary theory first came out. He wanted to see if he could devolve people," Harry made a face, but Sirius and James grinned at each other.

"Would've been a great prank," Sirius muttered wistfully. Remus ignored the interruption, pulling out a measuring glass.

"But he quickly figured out that when wizards took it, each one acted differently. It took him almost ten years to figure out that it actually connected to the fact wizards can become animagus."

"So you basically act like your animagus?" Harry asked.

Remus nodded. "Of course, considering how it affects you, you really need someone to observe in order to help you know what your animagus form will be."

"How it affects you?"

The guys shared amused insiders' looks. "You act like your animagus completely, behavior and mind," Remus said. "For about 24 hours. Thankfully we did it one at a time, or it would've turned into a real nightmare. As it was, McGonagall finally landed us all in detention for two weeks. She thought it was prank turned bad."

"Merlin, it was fun though," Sirius said.

James snorted. "You were just glad for an excuse to sniff girl's crotches."

Sirius, for the first time to date in Harry's memory, turned bright red and pounced on his best mate. "I did not!"

Harry looked a little, er, terrified. "Umm, I don't know."

"Flighty," Remus said, trying to sound reassuring instead of really amused, "this is the best way we came up with."

"Yeah, just trust us." Sirius grinned, pausing as he managed to get James into a headlock.

"Oh, that's not ominous at all," Harry muttered.

-

The four boys watched their new member twitch in his sleep. They'd convinced him to take the potion that night, saying they could easily miss Apparition practice the next day. It was Saturday, which would leave plenty of time for the potion to wear off in time before Monday.

"It's a bit weird," Sirius finally said, on his stomach on his bed. "-to think we really are adding another Marauder."

Remus shot him a look. "You're not getting second thoughts, are you?"

The black-haired boy shook his head. "Nah," he said flippantly. "Just weird. Never really thought there'd be more than the four of us."

"Yeah, I know," Peter said unexpectedly, biting his lip at he stared at Harry's bed.

The conversation lulled.

"Y'know," James said, sounding concerned, "if he does end up being a fish, that could be a problem."

Remus collapsed into his bed with a snort as the rest threw pillows.

James lifted his arms to block the hits.

"What?"

-

**Okay, for the next chapter - it's the end of the month and how in-depth do you want Harry's instinctive self? And the Marauders' experiences with it? (I could do its own chapter or get to Christmas break - your choice!)**

**And random recommendations:**

Comedic one-shot of Ron - Wazlibs' Wizzil Woozis by Amara Anon.

Angsty/humorous fic of Harry watching the Marauders on video - Pursuing Lily Evans by ohsnap its potter.

The end of CoS goes way wrong and then there's two escaping from Azkaban - Fugitives of Azkaban by BajaB (does the animagus scene how I'd love to - let your incredulity rest on this one, it's decent.)

Angst-a-holic for those who wanted some 'fatherly' time between Sirius/Remus and Harry - Heartbreak of the Fathers by x-Faux-x.

Fluffy short with Marauders being guys - The Guy Code by Tirya King.

Lily and James to the future, great portrayal of the pair and fits quite well with HBP canon (actually okay with H/G in this one) - Secrets in the Room of Requirement by HeyLookTheSnitch. (Also check out author's favs.)


	36. From the Belly of the Beast

Why the wait? Two words: Grad School. But I will update again before the end of the winter break!

-

To AkaiXTsubasa and Rebel Goddess - I actually sat down and tried to fit the idea of bullying with James; his sense of fun or protection was the best reasons I could conceive. And Severus is both victim and perpetrator in this respect.

To Somya and stefunny2010, I actually did research! Patroni are like spirit guides - they don't depict you per say, they can also express emotions, like how Tonks' reflects her love for Remus and Severus' Lily. (And JKR 'gave' Hermione her favorite animal as a patronus: an otter.) Patroni can also change, while animagi don't, as far as I could tell. Patroni and animagi can be the same, but not necessarily - then you would automatically know what animagi you were.

Otherwise I will concede - JKR says you don't know your animagi generally before transforming BUT she did say it was "the animal that suits it best." It's supposed to take you years to simply turn into an animal - I think the Marauders have found a shortcut: it's easier to transform if you know what animal 'best suits' you first.

Favorite quotes: Jideni3 - "It'd be cool if you did a chapter dedicated just to Harry and his instinctive-tastic self. Rawr." LOL! And "I just hope it's not mating season" by Redsoxgirl (lol, but yes they'll both mature in this story).

Most prolific reviewer: Jasminny!

-

HP36: From the Belly of the Beast

-

-

They hadn't prepped Harry completely - hadn't told him all the stories, at least not yet. Admitting just how embarrassing their own adventures had been required equal ground, i.e. he had to go through the ordeal himself first.

But they had plenty of stories.

Sirius had gone first. James had insisted on braving the homemade brew before the rest; Sirius had nodded, then 'accidentally' pitched himself into the vat. No one disputed his drinking first after that.

-

**Sirius had woken up first the next morning, a feat to be sure. They knew this as he'd woken them up as well, by licking their faces. James had the dubious honor of receiving this treatment first. Remus had made some amused gibes about him possibly undergoing a change in orientation, especially after it took both him and James to haul an exuberant Sirius off the deep sleeper Peter, but that only lasted until they made it to the common room. At that point, he'd gone around sniffing everyone, especially the girls, who all came to the conclusion he was high. **

**They'd been pretty sure what kind of animal he was by the point - trying to bound down the stairs on all fours had been yet another giveaway and he'd nearly cracked his head open.**

-

Harry was getting a similar such start.

Remus, being the lightest sleeper, woke up first to weird guttural noises. It wasn't growling - some kind of warbling? Yawning, he sat up to check on Harry. Only he wasn't there.

It was at that point that it occurred to Remus that after dosing a person with bestial potion, it was probably not wise to leave them to their own devices upon waking. You'd think after doing it three times, you'd have procedures perfected.

Unfortunately, the weird warbling sounds had stopped as well.

With a groan, he shook James awake. James turned over with a groan, clutching his covers and Remus rolled his eyes. "Wake up Prongs! Flighty's on the loose."

"I'm up! I'm up!" he moaned. He woke up the other two, while Remus tried to find Harry with no success. It wasn't until the warbling returned that sleep-muddled minds figured out they had to look up.

Blinking down at them from his canopy was Harry, who cocked his head and made a weird throat noise from his position wrapped practically around the top of one of the bed posts.

"So what does this tell us?" Remus asked dryly.

"He likes heights," James said stubbornly, refusing to go more specific. "And - and it's not even like all birds fly," he muttered.

Sirius brightened. "Maybe that wildcat description really does work!"

Remus snorted, but it was Peter who pointed out the problem.

"Oh so how are we going to get him down?"

After luring him down with Peter's reluctantly-parted-with hoarded snacks, things had gone marginally well though Harry had shown no interest in getting dressed. (They would've left him in his pajamas, but they did have plans for going outside later that day.) Harry had approved of his robe, once it was on, and practiced swooping with his sleeves pillowed. Unfortunately, he also discovered the window and it took Sirius and James to keep him from jumping out with a trilling cry. (Given the fact it was closed, they were more worried about head injuries.)

"Told you he was a bird," Remus muttered. James pretended he didn't hear him, but muttered to himself, "Penguins."

After that little incident, it was decided that Harry needed a magical tether. This had been inspired by Peter. Every time they had turned around during his animal trip, he'd disappear - and after Mrs. Norris had sent him shrieking into the castle bowels, they got tired of chasing him down.

It was Peter who made the mistake of opening the door wide. As soon as Harry saw the opening, he moved. Poised at the top of the stairs, he unfurled his arms and - well the best description was leapt for take off. Remus hurriedly cried out the spell for the bouncy floor as an unprepared James and Sirius got tugged along for the ride.

"Is everyone alright?" He called out when the tumbling stopped at the foot of the stairs.

Harry made disappointed chirping noises as the boys groaned.

-

**James however, had been the most accident prone.**

**They'd woken up to him pawing (hoofing?) the door, his fingers straight and bleeding from a number of splinters. After cleaning up his hands, they'd taken him around the castle. He hadn't done anything very distinctive - he tried going on all fours on and off, but when he craned his neck all the way up, he couldn't really walk at the same time. He kinda waddled and then would snort in frustration before getting standing back up. Sirius and Peter weren't able to breath for fifteen minutes straight. **

**He'd been rather sedate until they'd made the mistake of going to the Great Hall for some brunch. James had spotted a whole cluster of girls hanging out (House tables sometimes became more relaxed on weekends), including a certain pretty red head. Then started the 'stud walk' as Sirius named it, something they'd actually seen him do before - Remus still couldn't believe it was that deeply embedded in James. He'd pranced about and then eyed up the competition. He'd head butted a very unsuspecting Gryffindor prefect who had just complimented Lily, which lost him House points, and led to a whole round of apologies as Sirius, Remus and Peter had to dragging him, snorting, out of the Hall.**

**He'd been more agitated after that, trying to head butt them even, forcing Remus to consider attaching a thickly padded hat to prevent brain damage. (Sirius told him it was too late.) Instead, they decided to retreat outside. **

**After they'd removed him from the castle, he'd calmed down a lot, walking around and focusing on digging the still frozen earth. It wasn't until they saw him eat a flower whole that they realized why.**

**McGonagall was quite confused when the experimental vegetarian became green at the sight of anything, well, green and leafy for the next week.**

-

As soon as the dog pile was broken up, Harry was on the move again. After circling the deserted common room, he climbed up the fireplace (thankfully unlit this early in the morning) and seemed quite content to sit there, idly running fingers through his hair.

Remus cocked his head. "Y'know, I think he's grooming himself," he murmured.

Sirius snorted. "I think Prongs is rubbing off on him." James elbowed him.

Peter, still sulking over his loss of his snacks, started whining. "Can we go eat now?"

"Aw Wormtail, it's way too early to eat." Sirius flashed his teeth in a jaw-cracking yawn, but Remus nodded.

"Actually that's not a bad idea. We can find out what kind of foods Harry will go for too. He might be another vegetarian."

James made a face - his intake of raw grass had made him sick afterwards, which actually always made him leery of eating as Prongs. Remus had tried to explain how it was different since he'd actually changed forms, but still…

Harry was harder to convince. He was quite content in his roost and he was just high enough that they couldn't actually reach him. Sirius suggested just levitating him down, but then Remus pointed out that if they did that, Harry'd probably go postal when they took the spell off.

They were stumped until there was a clatter of footfalls from the girls' dorms. Lily, followed closely by Evelin, appeared in the doorway, dressed casually in jeans and a tie-dyed T-shirt. James immediately perked up, but unfortunately so did Harry. Without warning, Harry jumped off the fireplace, nearly flattening James who'd moved to walk over to Lily and made straight to Lily. Making an odd crooning noise, he buried his nose in Lily's hair.

Remus wasn't sure who was more shocked: Lily, James or himself. Evelin just raised an imperious eyebrow and passed them, muttering something about adolescent male insanity. Lily slowly began to turn red as Harry continued nuzzling her hair.

"'m gonna kill 'im."

Remus had to lunge to stop him, catching just enough of his cloak to stop him in his tracks. "James, you know he doesn't know what he's doing, just calm down," he said, not caring if Lily could overhear. But James was busy digging into his cloak - "And no hexing!"

Sirius just about died laughing.

"Sirius would you shut up and help me!" he snapped. James had his wand out - "Peter!" Peter obediently scurried over, snatching James' wand away. James protested loudly, but Remus talked over him. "Besides, if you never hexed Sirius for sniffing Lily's crotch, the least you-"

Sirius sputtered to a stop. "I did not!" he protested as James' gaze swung his way. But James shrugged off his cloak, striding to forcefully remove Harry from Lily. Far from being dismayed, Harry gave another croon and began enthusiastically burying his face in James' hair.

Sirius fell down, holding his sides. Remus was at a loss for words, but he cleared his throat as James pushed Harry away with a flaming blush. "No!" he said sharply, trying to cover the waver in his voice, and stepped back, waving a finger at the blonde. "Bad Flighty!" Harry just cocked his head, looking vaguely puzzled.

"What on earth did you do to him?" Lily demanded, finally regaining her voice.

"Who knows and who cares?" Evelin cut in. She was leaning against the portrait hole, idly shaping her nails with a file. "We leaving anytime this decade Lily? I don't get up this early for no reason."

"Right, I'm sure time's a-wasting," Peter finally piped up, over-cheerful. He gave Lily a light push towards the door. "Besides you know us," he laughed falsely. "Always doing something, eh-"

"Inane," Remus finished. He stepped between Harry and Lily, who looked like she was going to protest until Evelin cleared her throat again. Huffing under her breath and shooting them all distrusting looks, she smoothed her hair and left through the portrait-hole.

Remus let out a breath. "That was close," he muttered, before eying the shaking silent figure on the floor. "Thanks for the assist _Padfoot_." Harry gave him an affectionate short hair-muzzle and Remus sighed as Sirius choked out another laugh.

"Uh, so I guess he's a very affectionate bird?" Peter hazarded, but Harry didn't spare him a glance. He wasn't disappointed.

"Since when do birds do that?" James snapped, edging behind Peter when Harry looked his way again, now frowning.

"Birds preen their feathers for grooming - I haven't heard about birds doing it for each other, but maybe," he stopped, because mentioning mated pairs was sure to make James round the bend, either over him preening Lily or well, James. "-he just likes us?" he suggested weakly.

Sirius finally popped up to his feet, reaching over to clap James on the shoulder. "Looks like he likes you best mate," he snorted, then jumped when he felt someone nose-deep in _his _hair. Remus snickered, before gently tugging Harry away.

Harry chirped, starting to look a bit sullen. "I don't know Padfoot, looks like you might give Prongs a run for his money," Remus teased before starting to direct Harry to the portrait hole.

"Where are you going?" Peter asked, ignoring the fact both James and Sirius had retreated behind him (though Sirius would've loudly denied this).

"We were going to take him to eat, remember?" Peter immediately brightened and hurried after him, leaving James and Sirius to troop warily behind.

"This is never mentioned again," James muttered to his best mate, "Stupid ostriches."

"Never happened," Sirius agreed, smoothing his hair.

-

**Peter had been the most difficult to handle - not that Sirius or James had been easy of course. He'd slept late on his morning and even though Remus warned them, the first thing he saw when he awoke had been James and Sirius hovering over him. With an impressive squeak, he'd leapt out of bed and dashed under his bed. It had taken them half-an-hour, calm soothing talk (from Remus), and donuts to finally lure Peter from out of the bed.**

**Deciding to trust them, he'd stuffed his mouth, his cheeks bulging and his eyes fixed on the food. Despite this inauspicious beginning, they'd decided to leave the dorm - which was a mistake. When Peter wasn't hiding behind them, he was hiding behind or worse, under furniture, wall decorations or trying to burrow into corners.**

**Still, they'd managed - until he'd spotted Mrs. Norris. That boy could run when he had his heart behind it. Remus wasn't sure how Peter managed it, but he managed to disappear for two hours into the bowels of the castle. (The memory of this definitely helped shape the creation of the Marauder's Map.)**

-

Harry didn't seem motivated at all to keep moving forward, if anything he seemed very frustrated with being grounded. They kept having to drag Harry off chairs, couches and stair railing (they had to practically headlock him to go down those without railings, he was far too enamored with the edge, making Sirius and James very nervous.)

They gave up with the chairs, jumping off them wasn't too hazardous, but when he dared to clamor up a suit of armor, he was rather unceremoniously dumped and kicked in the rump. At this indignity, the Marauders burst out laughing - until an irate Harry tried to attack the suit with flexed fingers. It took both James and Sirius to contain him, thought Sirius was right impressed.

Finally, they split up - Peter went to the kitchens to grab some snacks, Remus returned to their dorm for Harry's broom and Sirius and James convinced Harry to leave the castle through the door near the flying pitch.

Once Remus returned with the broom, they undid Harry's magical leash and simply _gluto_-ed his butt to the broom, so even if Harry got the bright idea to try flying without it, he'd go nowhere.

Harry was thrilled as soon as he was on the hovering broom - letting out a loud shrieking noise, he zoomed away. Snacks now in hand, they settled to watch him.

Now in the air, he seemed quite content just lazily circling, let his arms hang in the air so the wind would flutter his sleeves.

"So what've we learned?" James said aloud.

"He likes flying," Peter commented unhelpfully. James scowled, muttering, "Kiwis, kiwis don't fly, do they?"

"He makes weird sounds," Sirius muttered, though Harry had become silent once airborne.

"He's trying to produce bird noises," Remus rolled his eyes. "Of course it sounds weird."

"He's affectionate," Peter reminded - both Sirius and James shuddered.

"What else?"

"Well, that probably rules out vultures and really big birds," Remus contemplated. "He hasn't tried singing though, so he's probably not a simple songbird."

"I'm still going with a prey bird," Sirius said.

"-bird of prey-" Remus corrected automatically.

"-what'd he eat of your stuff Wormtail?"

Peter frowned. "He mashed up a whole bunch, but he spit out some - I couldn't really tell."

Talking as they were, they failed to notice Harry grip the broom tightly and hunch his body. They did however, notice when he went into a blurred dive.

"Holy-"

The boys scattered, Sirius slipping seamlessly into Padfoot mid-run, James hard at his heels. Arrowing toward the ground, Harry looked like he was going to burrow straight through - but at the last second, he pulled up, a squirming body in hand. James stopped short, looking like he was about to be sick. Harry opened his mouth and would have swallowed the squirrel whole, but for Sirius' bound. Growling warningly, he lunged and would've knocked Harry off his broom, except he was stuck on it. Harry froze on the ground, legs and broom twisted under Padfoot's paws. Padfoot sniffed pointedly at Harry's prey, then meaningfully showed his teeth. Faced with another predator, Harry reluctantly let go of the squirrel - Padfoot backed off of him and Harry shot back up in the air. Pulling up, he began circling again as the poor terrified creature lay 'dead' on the ground.

"I think it's just stunned," Sirius said decisively, withdrawing from Padfoot. Harry gave a muted shriek from his safe height, scowling down at them.

Remus looked at the frozen rodent with pity. "Well, it's definitely scarred for life."

Peter shook, obviously empathizing with the squirrel. He'd had a near-death brush with an owl once and James winced, patting him on the shoulder.

Sirius shrugged philosophically. "Well, guess that answers the diet question."

-

**That was what the guys considered a defining moment, where they were able to narrow down an animagus to genus, if not species.**

**Sirius was the easiest - he had a pretty decent bark, which he'd exercised whenever he got excited, both in front of girls and whatever he spotted something remotely interesting - his reaction to Mrs. Norris had just sealed the deal. (Mrs. Norris had hissed at Sirius for months afterward and Filch's feelings of intense dislike had solidified.)**

**James had spotted a set of antlers on the way back into the castle and actually grabbed them. They'd been trying to wrestle it away from him when Snape had had the misfortune of running across them. Thankfully, Snape never knew just how close he came to being run through by a rather impassioned, instinctual James.**

**Peter's squeaking and scurrying habit made rodents a clear option, but Remus figured the most significant moment was when they finally found him after the castle-long chase, sitting on haunches and nervously running his hands over his face behind a creepy, cobwebby box that he'd turned into something like a den. He'd even collected a hoard of scraps, which Remus was honestly amazed never made him sick.**

-

The next morning, Harry awoke to a consensus.

"You're a bird, probably a medium-sized predator," Remus said succinctly. James was frowning, arms crossed in what was a full-fledged sulk Harry suspected.

"Turkeys, they don't fly either," he muttered, Harry eyed him, but everyone else ignored it.

"Are you sure?" Harry asked, more as a reflex, wondering why his throat felt so odd.

"No doubts," Sirius backed Remus up. "A _flying_ bird."

With a groan, James buried himself in his sheets. Peter gave him a comforting pat on his shoulder. "We're sure," he nodded.

Harry chanced a look at his hands and cocked his head.

"Why is there fuzz under my nails?"

-

Thanks to my reviewers!

Youko's Befuddled Fox, Seriously Yours, Smencil, StaplersBreak, americangirl90038, Missha- MM, KG86, 11OneDone2Many, AvAm, faith bonksie, raindancer20, Whispering to the Winds, DarkBombayAngel, That BITCH is ME, FairyoftheDarknessandNight, trewin7502, spacegirl94, LRN415, feyy-cullen-black, banana cupcakes, Aurora Selene Potter-Malfoy (I so agree), AllThatIsGoldDoesNotGlitter, Anonymous Sister of the Author (yup, got his end covered), 60, Payce99, JustAnotherParallelDimension (-smile- 'le gasp' lol!), Tara La'Quinn, Caaro (-blush-), TachanGyu, DotsOnAWall, Luzith, gabbygirl89, Stygian Styx, sheluby94dreamer, Claire Namigaii (LOL!), Irish Girl Xx, MissDreamy, Lupin123, Ichigh0st, A Gothic Lullaby, flaming bunnies (ahhh!), LyssaLestrange, Bouncerok, Female Marauder, Hocapontas, Ruhie, TwilightersandMusic, AccountDeletePlease, Lost In Echoes (-smile-), Loretta537, Winni3, AmbivalentAngyl, TsumeHikaru, the sudoku kid, AZNGURL98, aisuru Aki, Bagoosa (thanks!), Enemy.X., softballfreak878, Juliashka Shu, Godrics hollow heart, Battosailover5, sugoi fyre, MYsweetAngel, CharmedbyFire, Shadow of Flame, Lilyre, forgotten-magic, Bluewingedvampyre69 (-smile-), twilightserius, Sabishii Kage Tenshi, oirishgoddess, Estel Ashlee Snape, absinthe addict (yup, but they are teenage boys), ficrdr, Global Conquest-er, Catwarrior, Story2tell (I know, I love Remus!), Nosi, Shankstar89, DoubleTime, TheScarletSerpent, sunshineysmiles, Bookwormofmassiveproportions, Nights Silhouette, beauty0102, Sphyre (-flush-), Avatar Rikki, Cal, Maiden of Books, XxiceflamexX, LupinandHarry, jonayla, Zuzanny, Dalsibaby (practice!), Orange, , Rori Potter, TheFabulousLMH, xitwa74, SolemnXAngel, MinervaEvenstar, Vellouette, hyper cell, killing u with umbrellas, Following Padfoot's Pawprints, CeKay, Tearful Reunion, Goldeneyedgirl247, JaBoyYa, , flowery petal, Hitokiri Shinzui, Pledodge, ShinSheeka, Hollyivy7, Lita of Jupiter, Xx Kiamii xX, Technophobia678 (yes), PeOtIcalLyPtheTic, Serpent91, Lady Eccentric, Romantiscue (true!), animeangel088, ^^*, Megan, Scorpia710, Sora Matasuki, mimiren4045, MissDreamy, Icsifil, FutureMizCullen67 (lol), Cassandra30, .17, Morgana, PheonixTearsHP, pea blue (I hate too-shallow portrayals), nazgurl, Blooming Delirium (sorry ;)), Rebel Goddess, Raven Black, hedwigs-biggest-fan, TrisakAminawn (so weird!), Lightning Struck (3 times? -blush-), Sixpacksirius (thanks so much!), Crystal Mind, Silvercrystal77, AmyRose512 (I realized I hadn't fleshed James out enough), Lightning Struck, Asterisks (thanks!), Ashez2ashes (lol!), IM GONE WITH THE WIND (lol!),HarryPotter4evah (yes!), Hazel Maraa (I totally agree!), Erroneously (thanks!), spirit-of-the-season09 (that's why I do shout-outs!).

To Lolchen and HarryxPotterx4ever, I very much agree about Peter! And Sirius is one of my favs too, but honestly he's got issues, that make some of his actions in the future hard to swallow.

Fanfic. Addict - no self-fulfilling prophesy! Wormtail turns because of more reasons than just Harry not liking him - he turns a few years after Harry is gone.


	37. As graceful as a

Thank you my loyal reviewers! Long reviewers, I love you and you'll get private responses!

Feral Jedi (:)), Lvmj, sofyen-aeris, DonTassi, Lady Ivvy, crocadile1986, 13stars, , irezel, DanniGirrl0001, miforever29, shikamaru the nerd (yes, Harry is NOT changing the past), Nutmeg, FashionStarlet, aangfan, Silvercrystal77 (:)), Fantasychild95, vampirerule117, chat noire, Sora the Taske, Lady Drama, PrincessSkywalkerOrgana, acacia59601, kara, acturus black, Stygian Styx, ihonestlydontknow, Jean101, Flisso94, The Lady of the Land, AuereusUna (:)), Lillyflower08, mcr wears ties SpaceHead3, VanessaWolfie101 (yup!), bluewingedvampyre69, Roses And Teardrops, The Bish, CrazymangoeswithHPGW, n a g a s h i . n o . k u r o, sixpacksirius, BeccaBaby (not bi!), Rain Karami, BookLover223, ForeversNobody, MoonlitIvy, ForeversNobody, FoxGlade, I-want-to-fly, 3029 (oh no, Back to the Future was way worse), Yukiru-4-eva, BlackEagle95 (:)), Claire4522 (LOL!), Pandor4, Quackpotty (thanks!), maximum-twilight-fan123, cuddly, vampire teddybear (-blush-), goldeneyedgirl247, blklover, MinervaEvenstar, .liye, xitwa74, sparksfire-51, WitchOfDarkness13 (absolutely!), AnimalLover247, Ko-pia, spang141, Angel In Training (-sigh- so true!), Cnome, Miranda (totally true!), SolemnXAngel, MYsweetAngel, lynxzpanther, TheFabulousLMH, HarryxPotterx4ever, Alicia Spinet, Global Conquest-er (LOL!), Romantiscue, Seriously Yours, x8jessica8x, forgotten-magick, PheonixTearsHP, AmbivalentAngyl, Derquanda (lol!), flaming bunnies, Glockenseil (hmm…except yeah, Harry is rather reckless), Battosailover5, SadieYuki (exactly!), Hitokiri Shinzui, Beckylovex, NightPersonified, DotsOnAWall, Avatar Rikki, Jasminny (never apologize!), sparksfire-51, Ayame Shikazuge, cardboard boxes, B00kw0rm92, CharmedbyFire, flowerypetal, KG86, twilight-h.p.-maxride4ever, saati, sierra's scarlet, Sakurasurf, ^^*, Zuzanny, Pagemistress89, silvergrac3, LupinandHarry, Immortal Sailor Cosmos (yes, all four!), TrixR4kids869, Fate, Luzith, magical-mystery-girl, sparksfire-51 (exactly!), Anonymous Sister of the Author, hypercell, WisConSin-BloNd, Payce99, Obscure Stranger, HyperionTheWatcher, Ava Monroe (yup!), Serpent91, MissDreamy, Person, Tearful Reunion, jonayla, lotrhpfan1234, meNyou.2, Maradon, epholge, Erroneously, juniper294, beauty0102, AkaiXTsubasa, Von, Edwards-girl-from the start, spirit-of-the-season09 (welcome!), Iriomote Yamaneko Nokomis, DarkBombayAngel, Ashez2ashes, Estel Ashlee Snape, Stefunny2010, WhiteGreen, Umbrae Calamitas (yay!), broken handed, Bratling, Allyieh, Stryker formal, Devanshade (thanks!), Stina (LOL!), Oirishgoddess (lol!), Powdered Perfection.

* * *

I officially got an offer to drop out of school to work on this fic. Well, if you pay my Whole Foods and apartment tab, I'll consider it! Someone wants a one-shot of Sirius high. (Yes that would be hilarious, but I unfortunately, or well fortunately, have no knowledge to make an accurate scene like that - unless I came up with magical pot which then could let me do anything I wanted with Sirius. Hmmm…) I had an attempted bribery with a Flighty plushie toy -giggle- and someone begged for Harry to be an Ostrich or a Turkey. **(If someone draws that, with the other Marauders looking on, I will post the link here and include one requested plot idea!) **Everyone loved the hair nuzzling - totally came on the fly when I had Lily enter. And for those with a good eye - yes, Harry did nuzzle everyone who was or would parent him, including Remus. And the last line.

To doubters: Youko's Befuddled Fox backed up that **family groups **PREEN AND GROOM EACH OTHER - so there!

Hiekomi - Yup, I'm trying to show the characters well-rounded. I like 'em that way. And I will put in some clues to be realized 'too little, too late.'

Best imagery: Batfan7 - "I could just see Harry leaning over the edge of a 7th floor stair case with James and Sirius hauling back on his 'leash' while Peter wrung his hands and Remus waved his wand."

I probably should've warned - no animals were harmed in the making of this fic!

By popular demand, I added something, see if you can spot it! The next chapter actually will be up within the next week - this is more filler and annoying to write. But I actually have lots of time now with exams almost over - and the next chapter is half-written.

* * *

-

As graceful as a…

* * *

Losing a day was unsettling.

Harry hadn't much thought about it, even after finding that fuzz under his fingernails, until one of the suits of armor tripped him on his way to dinner and Remus had tried to reassure him that he'd just had a little altercation with it (a suit of armor? - he didn't ask why).

It wasn't until a little later that he realized just how much he'd 'missed' during his day as a bird hopeful.

* * *

Harry leafed through another page, keeping an ear out for any sounds of success.

Apparation practice was starting to pick up now, with the test at the end of January. Even though it was still early December, nervous students had pushed for an additional optional evening class during the week. And since the Marauders had skipped the weekend practice for Harry's beast-run, they'd opted to attend this week - though Sirius and James both scorned the idea of needing additional practice.

Harry sat at the side, ostensibly studying for their midterms, but actually scanning a graphic-laden book on birds. The guys had said the book wouldn't help - you didn't visualize yourself physically as an animal, but rather projected yourself in animal form. (Harry had asked how the potion helped then, since he couldn't remember the experience at all. Remus said it could help focus your projection - "Blackmail material" was Sirius' answer.)

Physical dimensions or appearance was beside the point and Sirius had dismissed "all birds look the same anyway." (Looking through _Boromie's Book of Birds, _Harry could now argue with this, but honestly he just couldn't get over the thought he was actually going to become one.)

"And put your left hand in-" Harry looked up, only to smile wryly. James had decided that making a dance would help the apparating process and Sirius was gamely giving it a try. So far it seemed to be a mix of disco with a wide variety of children's songs - as James proceeded to 'do the hokey pokey', Harry really hoped he was just doing his regular show-boating and not under the illusion this was actually what constituted good dances.

The two boys then spun, clapped, did a disco down-up arm slash - and disappeared.

Harry's jaw dropped - and they flickered back into view.

"Disco!" they both cheered at the top of their voices, grinning at their audience.

James raised an eyebrow when no one clapped, only stared. "What?"

Remus put a hand over his face as Wilkie Tycross, the instructor, began to nasally explain that Mr. Potter and Mr. Black had just demonstrated why you have to really concentrate on a place rather than just disappearing. They were dismissed a few minutes later and Remus had to explain to a confused Sirius and James, not to mention a wide-eyed Peter, what had happened.

Distracted, Harry didn't notice Lily's approach until she was upon him. Kneeling down, she helped him collect his books, biting her lip.

"Uh Harry?" she asked hesitantly.

"Yes," he turned to her, giving her full attention.

"The guys didn't," she cleared her throat, "I mean, you didn't try anything this weekend, did you? I know a lot of kids try them, but," her lips pursed in distaste. Harry tried to follow, he really did.

"Them?" he asked, eye brows fusing.

Lily took a deep breath. "You don't take drugs, do you?" Harry's jaw dropped.

"What?! No!" Lily gave a decisive nod.

"Good, but still, just to be safe-" she said, "don't let the guys pressure you into taking something strange, okay?"

With wide eyes, Harry watched her flip her hair and walk off. She never heard Harry's outcry a minute later, after the Marauders clustered back around Harry.

"I did what?!"

* * *

The next few weeks passed in a blur. The weather had turned dismal, cold with driving rain and sleet rather than snow. Forced indoors, the Castle bustled with students preparing for midterms and group projects. There was apparently a whole emphasis on demonstrating knowledge teaching fad going on and the guys had told Harry that a number of the teachers had taken the fad to heart. (Though Remus had the suspicion that Slughorne was using the group projects to stock up on his hardest-to-make potions.) The Marauders had tried to convince Binns that history presentations would be educational (they planned on re-enacting the Goblin Rebellion), but Binns had just stared at them before stating he didn't see any reason to change his usual way of teaching. ("Well yeah," Sirius said, "of course he doesn't. He even died and didn't change anything!")

Beyond studying (and a little bad weather-pranking - the Slytherins had found their common room turned into a swampy winter wonderland while the entirety of Ravenclaw 7th Year found themselves stuck for a day with dangly earrings that clanged when someone thought about sex, supposedly), Harry found himself practicing meditation. Remus went through the paces with him, deep breathing and mind cleansing, saying he'd learned it as a way to deal with his wolfish anxiety.

Occasionally, one of the others would join them. Peter tried a few times, but after he claimed sucking on candies helped him concentrate (and probably did), the sucking noises got too annoying and he was politely kicked out. Sirius was even worse, he just kept twitching until even the basically pacifist Remus wanted to thump him. (The one time he actually did succeed in sitting still, they were impressed until he started snoring.) James was the best, actually managing to usually sit still, except he mumbled Lily once under his breath and Harry had a rather icky feeling that James was meditating on quite something else than cleansing his mind.

So most of the time, it was just Remus and him after they'd managed to shoo the other guys out of the dorm room (thus leading to the Slytherin swamp). The Marauders never could stand to be bored.

Remus told Harry to concentrate on what he _felt_ inside. To let him mind wonder and let his senses take over. Despite the others' poor meditating skills, Remus assured Harry that they had benefited from the exercise, learning to rely on their senses and relaxing their grip on how humanly to use them.

It took a few days - cleansing his mind was hard for Harry, things he'd tried to avoid thinking about the last few months vying for his attention. But finally, he learned to lock those in a box and just let himself calm, close his eyes and let his senses take over. By the end of term in December, he could feel them start to _change_ until he was roused by Remus with a pleased look.

"Your face was starting to change there a little," Remus said.

"Huh?" For some reason, Harry's tongue felt abnormally large, the bottom of his face heavy. He felt a little drugged and wondered, just for a brief second…

"You know what that means!" James said happily, jerking Harry back to normal. He hadn't realized the others had come back. James took out his wand and twirled it. "Time for transfiguration!"

Harry recognized that grin - usually found right before a big prank or a particularly 'brilliant' idea of James'. He inched back a little, sending Remus a 'Should I be afraid?' look.

Remus grimaced just a little and Harry knew his answer.

Be very afraid.

He paled and Sirius patted him on the shoulder. "It's not that bad, Flighty me mate!" (Sirius had watched a new pirate movie a week ago with Rainee, a younger year Hufflepuff, and had been calling them 'me mates' or 'matey' ever since. Remus and James were this close to cursing his mouth to glue shut every time he started to say it.) "It's not like anyone got stuck in another form permanently."

"Permanently?" he gulped.

Peter shuddered. "I don't care how long it actually was, you didn't have Mrs. Norris trying to eat you!"

"What?!"

Sirius had burst out laughing as James frowned. Remus smacked the back of Sirius' head though it didn't stop the laughter.

"Prongs got a little over-ambitious and tried to transfigure Peter into a rat, only he forgot about the size issue." Harry's eyes just got wider. "And unfortunately, because of the size issue, his spell reversal didn't really work. And because we tried it outside," Remus gave a somewhat helpless shrug. "Long story short, smuggling a giant rodent into the castle, even with an Invisibility Cloak, is not easy."

"Coulda been worse, matey!" Sirius slapped a sturdy arm across Peter's shoulders. "Lil' Missy Norris coulda caught yah!" Peter swatted away his arm, still scowling.

"Minor mistake," James waved off, though he avoided Peter's gaze guiltily. "I fixed it anyway, didn't I?"

"Must've been a surprise to Mrs. Norris."

Peter was in full sulk. "Followed me around for weeks," he muttered, "Filch was positive I'd drugged her or slipped her a love potion."

Harry bit his lip and valiantly swallowed his own laughter.

James cleared his throat. "We're not going to try the full transfiguration anyway, just partial."

"Like just wings?" Harry asked, intrigued despite himself.

Sirius straightened. "How about angel-boy?!"

Remus rolled his eyes as Harry unconsciously rubbed his shoulder, and moved next to James. "Not extra wings, er, the wings should just replace your arms," he instructed and James nodded, thankfully seeming to have finally gotten over his flight-envy.

Harry scrambled to his feet, feeling very unnerved having them standing over him, James grinning again, wand in hand.

"I don't know…"

"It won't hurt," Remus promised, though he still looked uneasy. James waved his wand airily.

"Just hold still."

Harry couldn't help it - he shut his eyes. His experience with danger was usually run from or run towards it, not just sit still and let it happen.

"_Extendere penna alarum!_"

It was itchy, terribly itchy, but with his eyes closed, he could feel the feathers sprout through his skin, even as his muscles ached as they stretched and flexed into a different shape. He suddenly had a lot more sympathy for ferret Malfoy.

It only took about a minute, but the sensation felt so strange - his arms, er wings, were so _light_ - he was hesitant to open his eyes.

But Sirius had never been patient. "C'mon matey, open yer eyes."

"Padfoot, you say that word one more time and I will break your beater bat over your head!" Harry opened his eyes to see James' right eye twitch as he glared behind him.

He looked down, feeling really odd when his, er, wings reacted, lifting and the motion ruffled his feathers. It felt, so, so, well he couldn't really describe it.

Peter noticed his enrapture. "Just wait 'til you get a tail," he said.

Harry flexed his wings, fascinated when they drew up to his chest, no reaction to the thought of flexing his fingers. "Transfiguration is really helpful, because you think and process having an animal body." Harry nodded vaguely, examining his dark feathers then jumped when they turned bright green, nearly falling over at his change in balance.

Sirius smiled, showing up beside him. "Now isn't that better? Hard to brood in neon colors, yeah ma-, er, Flighty?" he caught himself in time as James' hand tightened on his wand.

Harry cocked his head, before carefully sitting back down, just to make sure he really didn't fall over. "Do you think I might be a parrot?"

He didn't see Sirius' smile widen, but Remus stopped him. "Doubtful; parrots aren't birds of prey."

"-Unless they suddenly developed a taste for squirrel," Sirius snickered. Harry ignored his own blush, very thankful he didn't remember that incident.

Remus ignored the backtalk and went to crack the window. "Besides, the spell is not species-specific, it's more general." At the sudden December chill that whistled into the room, there were protests, but Remus waved them off. "He needs to feel the wind under his feathers, unless any of you want to take him outside." That shut them up quick. At least it hadn't been raining the last time they ventured outside. "Now, some more meditation."

Sirius groaned, but for the next ten minutes or so, Harry got to meditate and adjust to the feeling of wings. Wings! He was going to be able to fly - the thought tightened his chest, but he carefully breathed in and out to temper his enthusiasm. After some quiet, Remus talked him through a range of motions with his wings.

Up. Down. Tuck in. Extend. Tilt. It was fascinating and Harry brushed off the thought of how it looked from the outside.

Unfortunately, James must've gotten bored because just as Harry was taking another deep breath, the bottom half of his face seemed to freeze. He opened his eyes to see a hooked beak, choked, tried to get up - and promptly fell on his face. Thankfully, the hard beak took the brunt, but he felt the vibrations go all the way into his neck.

Reflexively, he called out James' name, but all that came out was a strangled squawk.

"James!" A second later, a hand was on his shoulder and helping him back to sitting position. "You couldn't have warned him?"

Harry blinked quickly, in time for an innocent-looking James, sitting on his bed, to protest, "But you saw his face starting to shift during the meditation. I figured he was ready!"

Harry tried to scowl, but it felt really weird without a mobile mouth. He did notice though, that since he'd stopped thinking about it, he was breathing rather naturally through his beak - somehow.

Nevertheless, Remus coached him through this as well, Sirius dropping nonsensical hints throughout, though thankfully leaving the pirate talk behind.

Despite the lack of actual activity, Harry was relieved when Remus finally said that it was enough. Moving in a totally different way could be exhausting.

James waved his wand and within a few minutes, he was back to normal. He massaged his face, his fingers tingling at their return. Flying was going to be amazing, but he wondered how long it would take him to get used to the body. His thoughts must have been visible because James spoke.

"Oh, you'll get more used to it as you go along. It'll actually start to feel normal." Not even bothering to stand, James twirled his wand and pulled antlers out of his head, long enough to brush the bed's curtain.

"Show off," Sirius muttered, but sounded amused.

James grinned and stood.

Or tried, completely overlooking just how heavy a full set of antlers on a human body would be.

He nosedived straight into the floor.

"James!"

Sirius didn't even bother with the exclamation, abruptly at his shoulder. Remus charmed the floor to try to cushion his head and cursed - the official first time Harry had ever heard him do so. He swatted Sirius' hands away, "Don't touch him! He could have a neck injury, Merlin, James, can you move your toes?"

Harry had a momentary flash of fear - _he might never be born_…

"Bloody hell Moony, I'm tougher than that!" James proceeded to move both his hands and legs, bringing himself slowly off the floor and ignoring Remus' protestations not to.

"Yeah Moony, he's harder headed than that," Sirius joked, but Harry could see him gently keeping James' shoulders straight. Peter wrung his hands next to him. They jarred to a halt when James couldn't get up further.

Moving around, Remus groaned. "You stuck them into the floor."

"That's going to leave a mark," Sirius muttered.

"And cracked the bedpost," Harry said, looking behind them. James had to make the whole rack, didn't he? Well, he was Prongs… One prong was wedged on one side of the bedpost, a curled outgrowth nearly ground into the other side diagonally.

It took some tentative pulling and tugging, Remus fussing about head trauma, before Peter had the bright idea to get rid of the antlers altogether. Only Sirius' arm wrapped around James' shoulders prevented him from collapsing. Harry, now recovered himself, hastily moved to help, while Remus charmed the floor back to its solid form. Peter pitched in to help them roll James over and settle him back on the ground, keeping spine alignment, James protesting the whole way.

"I'm perfectly fine!" James said, the rest of the boys leaning over him. His eyes were crossed and Remus bit his lip, before muttering the diagnostic spell. Harry was starting to suspect they, or at least Remus, got a lot of use out of that spell.

"How many fingers am I holding up?" Sirius thrust out his hand.

James blinked. "Three?"

He was holding up one. They looked at each other.

"Two?"

Remus sighed. "No spine damage."

Sirius shrugged. "Eh, he'll sleep it off."

Next chapter: James isn't feeling well - but there are group presentations! Looks like someone will have to walk James' talk, -rubs hands and cackles gleefully-.


	38. Walking the talk

**Dumbledore gestured for silence. "I am very sorry to inform you, but one of our students passed away during the night - James Potter."**

**Lily started laughing - it had to be a joke.**

**Meanwhile, Harry 'Patterson' wondered how it was possible he still existed, because he shouldn't - but then he wouldn't have gone into the past and James wouldn't have been showing off with his antlers (or, well, maybe he would've except he'd survived the first or else Harry wouldn't have been born in any time line) and would've survived, resulting in Harry being born - and then coming back into the past and James showing off with antlers…**

**NOT!**

* * *

Everyone thought I really injured James. I actually meant for James just to get sick, but this made a lot more sense. I got so much concern and then there was flaming bunnies: "James only has a small concussion. He'll be fine as long as his future career doesn't involve math." LOL!

And yes, the green feathers were from Sirius, not Harry magically morphing. James transfigured his arms into wings - NOT into his Animagus wings. (They'd be a lot smaller anyway and Harry would've been really, really off-balance!) A lot of people liked Lily's drug talk - y'all inspired that with wanting him to know about his head-nuzzling! Someone pointed out it was their first mother-son talk - well it won't be the last!

Best review goes to: BeccaBaby

"Poor James, but it's his own fault! He's just like a guy, he has to show off how big he is." O.o, -nervous laughter- Tell me I'm imagining how dirty that sounds.

Second place: Shrimp Chip

"ohmigodiloveyou. I read this whole entire thing in one night, my friend. . and I loooove how well you wrote this. Everyone seems so... realistic. AND STUFF. But yeah. You're a beast. Be proud." LOL!

A Fan, AquaRibbon, Toes of the Tickled Kind, XranXXXshinichiX, The Green Eye, Yolen Yui, MinervaEvenstar, beauty0102, isigirl, female half - breed, DanI, Ihonestlydontknow, TwiPrincessSami, Sabishii Kage Tenshi, YourDyingLullaby, AFairy88, Goldeneyedgirl247, MYsweetAngel, Avatar Rikki, altering (thanks!), Runswithvampires92, xitwa74, Friglit, sierra's scarlet , Anonymous (I'm very anti-super!Harry), DarkBombayAngel, ariex04, SilverIceBlueEyes, Hitokiri Shinzui, LupinandHarry, KG86, irezel, Technophobia678, X8jessica8x, Stina Whatever, JustAnotherParallelDimension, Payce99, Selene467, DanniGirrl0001, killing u with umbrellas, cuddly vampire teddybear, stefunny2010, Serpent91, Erroneously, AHewlett (lol!), MrsHellman, VanessaWolfie101, missingmara, Wandering Hail, Savi2070, IReadNoNonsense, Saati (exactly), SilverLily1, B00kw0rm92, epholge.

**No one guessed! Well, that's good. Cause this chapter's super-fun! Next chapter: Christmas Break, at long last!**

* * *

Walking the talk

* * *

o

o

* * *

He didn't sleep it off.

"Great, potions presentation is today! Slughorne always takes off major if you're not in for his 'important designated days.'" Remus fretted. "I knew we should've taken him to Pomphrey. Then we'd have proof he's not up to presenting." He glared at Sirius, who didn't even notice, as the other boy had brushed off his concerns.

"I gotta go," James grumbled, moving to roll out of bed - and nearly ending up on the floor. Sirius grabbed him right before he hit the floor. "Just lil' balance issue."

"You are not leaving your bed," Remus said sternly.

"Now just stay in bed like a good little Pronglet," Sirius agreed, dumping him ungracefully back on the mattress. James groaned, blinking owlishly.

"But I gotta…" They all cringed. James was a horrible whiner when he wasn't feeling well.

"So who's going to take his place?" Sirius asked. "Me doing it kinda defeats the whole point considering we're partners."

"Take his place?" Harry asked.

"Oh, we've always fill-ined for each other-"

"Well, Padfoot and Prongs at least," Remus clarified. "Between the hair and height and a little magic, they managed it."

"Came in handy with pranks," Sirius grinned. "Can't be in two places at once, yeah?"

Remus pursed his lips. "Until they started figuring out that you two _always _worked together."

Harry could picture it; Sirius and James did just about everything together. "But you're a few inches taller."

"He shot up this summer," Peter piped up, half-way through dressing. "Guess it figures he'd mature last, right?" Sirius chucked a sock at him.

"You're one to talk, shorty!"

Remus ignored them. "I'm the 'last resort' so to speak, but Marna and I are presenting too."

"That just leaves me." He thought he'd only thought it, but every head turning in his direction made it clear he hadn't. This was a bad idea, a really bad idea - "Lily and I are presenting next class," he said slowly, topping it with a shrug.

Remus and Sirius exchanged looks. "You think you can pull off being James," Remus said, sounding doubtful. Peter, done dressing, looked intrigued.

Harry swallowed. A really, really bad idea - but hadn't he heard that refrain a million times? **You look just like your father…you're so much like him…**And hadn't he wondered, really wondered if it was true? He was different, he knew that, had experienced that here in the past, but - just how different? What was it like being James? He'd wanted to understand his father; couldn't he see how much?

He gave a shadow of a smirk, deciding step one to being James was being reckless. _Yes, because acting and looking like your future father is going to make no one wonder about you at all…_"Can't be that hard," he ran his hand through his hair.

Sirius snorted. "There you go!"

James grumbled, but reached for his wand. "Just gimme a minute," he blinked again, "um, need my glasses." He felt his night table like a mole feeling his way and Harry blanched.

"Uh, that's okay, I can take care of it," James paused.

"Really?" Harry wasn't known for his transfiguration, but Remus just shot him an amused look.

"You probably shouldn't be doing any magic anyway," he said diplomatically and James slumped back horizontal. "And we have been practicing human transfiguration in class anyway." Harry nodded and then scurried into the bathroom.

This was such a bad idea, but… He hunched over the sink, staring into the mirror.

"You sure you don't need help Harry?"

"Yup."

He took out his wand and muttered a double 'Scourgify.' The contrast from super-blonde to black was blink-worthy - and Harry was hit with a wave of nostalgia. He ran his fingers through his hair, getting used to the sudden return to his natural hair color. The loss of his glasses was one thing, but his hair? Blinking his contacts out, he patted himself for his contact case and took out his ultra-emergency round-framed glasses that Hermione had thoughtfully provided. They were camouflaged to look like sunglasses if necessary.

And there he was, Harry Potter again. He froze, staring into the mirror of his past, his future.

The door rattled and he jumped. "We only have five minutes if we want to catch the mail Harry - uh, James."

"Don't spend too much time primping!" Sirius' bright remark came through the door clear as day.

"Just getting into character." Not that he needed much more prep. He took a deep breath and charmed his eyes to a nice hazel. Last was his scar. Hermione had shared with him a strong, but short-term spell she had promised covered up anything 'unsightly' on a face. (If only it was so easy to erase its history…) Turning, he looked into the mirror to see an eerie reflection of James.

He swallowed. This was such a bad idea.

* * *

"That's not funny-" James grumbled, not bothering to open his eyes from his prone position.

"'Course it is," Sirius said, getting dressed.

"-and besides, it's not like I'm the one who freaked out when someone tried to use his shampoo." James had ran out sometime two weeks prior and had grabbed a random available bottle. It had proved impossible to open (actually a spell over a child-safe cap, not that Harry was going to tell James that) and Harry had nearly flipped out when James complained later. They'd all concluded Harry was strangely anal about his hygienic products.

"You have the voice candies?"

Sirius rummaged through his wardrobe, finally tossing out a battered tin. "Yup!"

Remus tapped on the door again and this time Harry stepped out.

Except it wasn't Harry Patterson.

After a minute of silence, Peter gave a low whistle, looking back and forth between James and Harry with big eyes. Remus stepped forward. "Good job Harry," he said with admiration.

Sirius prowled forward, going nose-to-nose with him.

"Your nose is too short," he frowned. "And your eyes are too light."

Harry blushed and shifted awkwardly. Remus made a mental note to remind him he had to emulate James' attitude.

He pulled Sirius back, "No one's going to examine him that closely, Padfoot. It's great. Now let's go." He turned back to Harry as Sirius scooped up the metal tin and shrugged into his cloak. "You first James."

Harry swallowed and gave a tight nod. "Right."

How hard could it be?

* * *

He managed successfully for ten minutes.

* * *

Mr. Owlett was very in tune with his wizard. He'd been a gift when the wizard was only a fledgling, grown up following him round the huge mansion, knew all of his likes and dislikes (a certain red-haired female being one the best likes according to Mr. Owlett). So one might say, he was a tad possessive of his wizard.

That morning, he leisurely flew into the Hall. He could tell his wizard wasn't there, but he wasn't fussy about letting his broodmate Sirius collect his mail. (Sirius had also amply rewarded him for sending Valentines to Lily once and Mr. Owlett recalled the candied walnuts very fondly.)

So when he dipped down to the Marauder brood, he was surprised to find two black-haired boys sitting together. And the broodmate Sirius was calling him James! He slowed his descent, trying to decipher this mirror image of his wizard. But he could feel it wasn't him!

He probably would've simply circled warily, but for the fact a stodgy, old school owl winged past and ungracefully dropped a letter - in front of the wizard that looked like his! The look-a-like accepted it! And, already breaking it open, offered the pompous windbag a candied walnut - his candied walnut!

With a battle cry, he launched himself at the usurper!

* * *

Harry still wasn't sure what exactly happened. One moment, his eyes on his long-awaited letter from Ron and Hermione, he was offering a nut to the school owl - the next, there was warbling cry and a thump as a bundle of feathers and claws started rolling around on the breakfast table. Heads started turning.

Sirius was swearing, but recklessly trying to reach into the tangle - Peter had backed up hurriedly, but Remus thankfully had the presence of mind to pull out his wand and cast an Immobilization spell at the rolling mass of feathers. Immediately, half froze and hastily one bird, his school loan, fluffed itself, snapped up the forgotten nut and shot into the air. The other bird, which Harry belatedly realized was James', looked even more furious - if it was even possible to decipher emotions from an owl's face. Gingerly, Sirius picked up the immobilized bird, scooped a handful of candied nuts - placed on the tables to celebrate the holidays, and settled the bird on his shoulder. Removing the spell, he coaxed the bird from taking off after the other owl he was eying, with the handful.

Mr. Owlett, after some grumbling, accepted the bribe, but glared at Harry the entire time.

"What just happened?" Harry finally asked.

Sirius shook his head. "Never give treats to other birds when you're James."

"Huh?"

Mr. Owlett just fluffed his wings, wondering if his little exploit would get back to that pretty little owl with the fine eyes…

* * *

Thankfully, the potions presentation went off without much of a hitch. It was simple enough - half the class made potions they'd picked, from memory and then presented them at the end of class. Sirius had memorized the potion and so guided Harry through it, making sure to call him James or Prongs.

Harry didn't talk much - though for a very good reason. Just before they got to class, Sirius had remembered the voice candies.

"Here," he said, proffering the tin. "Suck on one like every hour. They'll make you sound like James." Harry opened the tin, warily taking in the collection of muddy-brown hard candies.

"What is it, like Polyjuice?" he asked.

"Nah. We thoughta that, but Polyjuice has gotta be fresh. Singers came up with this though, for when their voice goes out. Moony found the potion."

Giving a shrug, Harry popped one in his mouth. It was only after ten minutes or so that he realized there was at least some similarity to Polyjuice.

He choked, nearly spitting out the candy. "There's hair in this thing?!" It was so odd actually sounding like James, he kept wanting to check around to see where the other boy was.

Sirius snickered, but wagged his finger. "Don't even think about spitting it out. It took us a month and a haircut to make that candy!"

Harry gagged, but dutifully kept sucking.

The presentation itself was short enough - Slughorne made them demonstrate a small sample of their brews. Severus and Rosier had chosen, interestingly enough, a Euphoria Elixir. Rosier was the one who demonstrated it - Harry was glad. Seeing Severus euphoric would've probably given him nightmares for years. Slughorne was very impressed; apparently, singing and nose-tweaking were among the usual side-effects, but Rosier was simply, well, euphoric. Severus had preened under the attention, 'humbly' admitting he'd modified the recipe just a little. Sirius nudged him right after and Harry realized James would've made a snide comment there. He nudged the other right back. He wasn't adding any fuel to their rivalry.

Remus and Marna showed off the Living Death Draught, which personally creeped Harry out, but Slughorne took points off for cloudiness (it was supposed to be clear). Severus smirked and Harry was sure, as he tapped his battered potions book, he'd managed to perfect that one as well.

Last, Sirius and 'James' presented their Hiccupping Solution, Sirius being subjected to it as a short whispered conversation made it clear that Harry was not chancing the Solution interacting with the voice potion. Harry thought he did a decent job pretending to be James - he cracked a great joke about zombie hiccups, if he did say so himself, and he'd even gamely joined Sirius in his hiccupping rendition of 'God Save the Queen.' (And given James' singing voice, that took guts.)

No one was giving him suspicious looks, so Harry concluded he did a good job. Unfortunately, Remus had forgot to mention something to him. Or well, the werewolf honestly hadn't considered that Sirius and James' little game might extend to Harry. But Sirius had other ideas…

* * *

They were nearly out the door, Harry counting himself lucky. Being James wasn't so bad…

"Oi Lilyflower!" Sirius hailed with a great, big grin. 'James' froze. Oh no, he wasn't -

Sirius nudged him. "Prongs has something to ask you."

Lily sighed, with a definite air of long-suffering. Marna hovered at her shoulder, smirking at the potential entertainment about to erupt.

"No I don't!" he blurted out. Lily blinked, mouth half-way open to give a no-doubt disparaging comment. Sirius just gave a laugh.

"Of 'course yah do, you always have something to ask Evans." He winked at Harry, who was really trying to keep sheer horror off his face.

"But, not right now," he stalled, grasping at straws. "It's only a few days before the end of break and ah, I'm sure she's busy with midterms and studying and preparing to go home for the holidays and-" he cut himself off. Sirius was still grinning big while Remus, behind the two girls, made a cutting motion at neck level.

Lily, looking confused, shifted her books and muttered, "_She _is right here."

"Of course you are, Lily," Harry rushed to reassure. She blinked again - right James never used her plain name. "Evans," that sounded awkward and he cleared his throat, looking at Remus for help, "Lily - flower?"

Now Lily was looking at him worried, Marna coughing out a laugh. "Are you all right Potter?" Harry swallowed again.

"Oh, he's just fine," Sirius' thump to his shoulder nearly rattled the glasses off Harry's nose. "Just bit with the love-bug, y'know."

"I am not!" This situation was steadily getting worse. "I mean," Remus had dropped his head into his hands - no help there, "of course, I, James, like you - and, and respect you and find you attractive?" Lily was staring at him, they were all staring at him (Sirius' shoulders were starting to shake suspiciously) and Harry just wanted to shut his mouth, but damn it, James would be able to talk himself out of this mess, "But that has nothing to do with you - or well, it does but it doesn't mean you have to like me, well I mean you should like me, but not right now, especially not right now, but then in the future I should mature and-" he was steadily talking faster and faster and finally, Lily stopped him with widening eyes.

"Oh my God. You are on drugs!" Sirius choked.

"What?" Remus' head shot up.

"I'M NOT ON DRUGS!" One accusation, eh he could understood, but two? And he must certainly was not acting that crazy. All heads in the room swiveled in his direction and he quailed just a little. Slughorne raised a bushy eyebrow. Er, was he? He cleared his throat, yet again. "We - none of us - are taking drugs!" He stressed in a lower voice. Marna snickered, batting her eyes at Sirius.

"Really, Mr. Black?"

Harry looked at Sirius in dawning realization. Sirius shrugged. "A guy's got to live a little." Lily sniffed and Sirius waved a hand. "Eh, 's in the past anyway."

"Okay, that explains a lot," Harry muttered to himself.

Lily eyes him warily, shifting her books in her arms. "So what Black, did you slip him something?"

Harry drew himself up. "I happen to be acting completely normal right now, haven't I Remus?" Remus, looking very reluctant, gave a kind of head shake, before stepping in between the ladies and Harry.

"Uh, he might be coming down with a touch of the same thing Harry has, y'know flu season and everything," he confided in the girls. Harry flushed, but just pursed his lips.

Lily didn't seem to buy this explanation, but she reluctantly said goodbye and wished 'Harry' would get well soon. Marna sniggered helplessly after her.

"Brilliant job Tailfeathers," Sirius slung his arm around Harry's shoulders.

"Sirius-" he hissed. Remus sighed.

"Sorry, I should've warned you - when Sirius and James swap, they end up doing things that'll completely embarrass the other. James wore a tight neon jumpsuit once and proposed to Flitwick as Sirius."

Harry blanched.

"Incoming," Sirius said, face darkening as he dropped his arm around Harry. "What do you want Snivellus?"

Severus's nose scrunched up as if he detected a particularly potent odor. "Nothing from you, Black." Sirius' eyes narrowed and his hand convulsively clutched his wand. Harry grabbed it.

"We're still in the classroom Sirius," he hissed.

Severus regarded him narrowly. "Oh very considerate Potter - or should I say Patterson?" Harry froze. "As if I'm dumb enough to fall for such a thin ruse. Really I did expect better though, to actually pretend to be that idiot-"

Blearily, Harry was aware that Sirius really was pulling out his wand and getting ready to hex Snape - but all he could think was, _he can tell the difference._

Slughorne started walking in their direction and with a muttered oath, Sirius stowed his wand, glaring poisonously at Severus, who just sneered back before walking off.

"I'll remember that," he murmured to himself.

* * *

The rest of the day passed rather smoothly, as long as Harry pointedly avoided Lily and Sirius' attempts to thoroughly embarrass him. The only other close call was when they walked into lunch and 'bumped' straight into Allouva. The divination teacher looked them over, before smiling widely. She gently took a hold of Harry's shoulder.

"Oh how adorable! You really do look just like him - but the eyes of course! Such pretty eyes," she appeared to get lost in thought and Harry just knew Sirius and Remus were exchanging looks. Well, Sirius was probably going 'what a loony' and Remus was trying 'be polite and let's get him out of here!' Harry agreed with Remus - this was the second time she'd inferred she knew what he really looked like.

Letting go of his arm, she patted his hand, stalling excuses. "My dear, I'd like to have a chat with you before the holidays, I imagine they'll be eventful. Oh and give the poor boy my sympathies, he should be more careful really." Without another word, she walked into the dining hall humming.

Predictably, "What a loony," Sirius said, Peter nodding vigorously beside him.

Harry swallowed hard. "Right." Remus looked at him, examining his face. "What?" Unease prickled Harry's spine.

"Your eyes are still hazel," he muttered. "You still look just like James." Harry shrugged off his comment.

"Loony, remember?" Despite himself though, he couldn't help but remember a loony blond girl. _**You heard them, just behind the veil, didn't you? They were just lurking out of sight, that's all. You heard them…**_

He avoided Remus' eyes for the rest of lunch.


	39. The serenity to accept

To address major comments: How could Snape know? There's nothing magical there - he's probably picked up on the whole Sirius-James switch thing, and honestly, he could just tell the James was acting different, far more benignly like Harry. (And I just had to have Snape say he could tell the difference!) Everyone loved Mr. Owlett and the Harry-Lily babbling, I kept tweaking that section because I knew I wanted the babbling, but I wasn't sure how much sense or nonsense he was making!

Also note: the hair issue was addressed (shampoo) and his scars will be coming up over break.

Final: The point of this story isn't his secret - it's the relationships, Harry getting to learn about the people who have framed his world for years. It's not plot-heavy, more slice-of-life.

"In the other time travel stories he could eventually explain his weird talents and skills, his knowledge of things and why he's so dark and private." I love having that dynamic - Harry is never fully 'explained' to these Marauders. They make assumptions and have to, well, learn to live with it; much as Harry has had to 'learn to live' with the bare scraps of their lives as he grew up.

I love Toes of the Tickled Kind comment: "I love how you've characterized all the boys in the story. They're flawed and delicious."

* * *

Thanks to all my reviewers!

beksta, GraceFangsandFire, bird brain, Lolchen, vanila-chan, sierra's scarlet, LonelyAura (I know what you mean about intuition), SolemnXAngel, oirishgoddess (=)), jonayla, Sabaku no Sable, CrazymangoeswithHPGW, . (thanks!), jHeyTTernallie, Kathryn Marie Black, Isigirl, Youko's Befuddled Fox, Umbrae Calamitas, XxPSxxIxxLUVxxUxx (lol!), Iriomote Yamaneko Nokomis (so do I!), Memys, Jimbocous, Kenri15 (glad to be original), LonelyAura (hmm, never read Naruto myself), K.-writter12, Juniper294, BeccaBaby (lol!), MissDreamy (yup!), Blackrose-you touch you die (:)), Selene467 (spot on), MrsHellman, x8jessica8x, Asterisks (aw, thanks!), NightPersonified (thanks!), Rori Potter, KG86, 62442fanatic (I know), Irezel, harrypotterfreak, Love2Love (exactly why I add them! -blush-), Xx Kiamii xX, saati, Catstreet (lol!), xX AmitBlack Xx, Cheelalaucha, B00kw0rm92, flamingbunnies, XAPY-TZINY-IIOZEINTON-NOAT (-smile- same here!), Xitwa74, Hitokiri Shinzui, Serpent91, Stefunny2010, Payce99, ariex04, Avatar Rikki, VanessaWolfie101, SilverLily1, iheartanime07, DanniGirrl0001, JustAnotherParallelDimension, Obscure Stranger, sparksfire-51, Charmina, Stina Whatever, Friglit, epholge, Erroneously, lynxzpanther (absolutely!), beauty0102, Ihonestlydontknow, Kirsten Bradshaw, Goldeneyedgirl247 (-grin-), Anonymous Sister of the Author, Estel Ashlee Snape, SilverIceBlueEyes, Desirable69 (thanks! And I agree about Peter)

To Gredandforge09 - Your wish my command. (And wording is crucial!)

Okay, so I semi-lied, Christmas Break will be the next two chapters (or one long one). This is a more plotty chapter, next few more action. Bon read-ing!

* * *

o

The serenity to accept

o

o

Allouva didn't even look up when he arrived, instead waving airily, "Oh, come in, come in. Have a seat dear." Wand perched behind one ear, she fussed over a plate of biscuits while a tea set busily set itself up on a low table.

Harry took the opportunity to survey her office, which served to remind him he was definitely in the '70s. Decked out in neon blue, green and shades of yellow-orange-pink-red, a shag carpet covered the floor, topped by a number of bean bag cushions arranged around the low tea table. Lacking anywhere else to sit, he gingerly sat down on a bright red bean bag - and nearly jumped out when the cushion immediately shifted to contour around his body.

"So, uh, why did you want to see me?" he hazarded, trying to sound nonchalant. Remus had advised that he take Allouva up on her 'offer' to speak, citing that she could be rather persistent. Apparently she'd made a point to talk to him about his lycanthropy in his third year and he claimed the conversation had been basically painless.

With surprising grace given her ancient figure, she poised herself on a bean bag opposite him. It unfurled around her, getting her comfortable. She smiled. "You do have to appreciate some of these new innovations of today," she murmured, then, "You can't guess?"

Harry glanced down at his tea, which was pouring itself into his cup, tea leaves settling onto the bottom. "This isn't some kind of surprise midterm is it?" He almost hoped it was.

She laughed. "You would prefer that, wouldn't you," she said, rather than asked. "You needn't confide in me if you don't want to. As a young man, especially in this decade - but I suppose that's not an issue, is it?"

"What are you talking about?"

He had a bad idea that he knew exactly what she was talking about. How had he slipped up? Had anyone else noticed? Or had Dumbledore-

"You've wondered what the Headmaster has told us professors no doubt," she pinpointed. "He actually told us nothing but what the students know, an exchange student from a fine Muggleborn educational institution. I'm afraid the other professors are rather annoyed by the vagueness of it all."

"But not you?"

She blinked innocently. "Oh, I have the ability to See - not see the future or even the past, but that hardly matters," she gave an impatient wave. "People are far too obsessed with those matters, things that can not truly be changed or touched."

It sounded like the start of a tangent and Harry cleared his throat. "So you see…"

"Oh what truly matters," she smiled. "Things as they truly are."

He didn't understand.

"It's not a terribly glamorous gift, but I must say, it certainly helps with giving the right students homework credit. And why does one want to know the future, but to confirm that what they know right now is actually accurate?" Harry blinked and she seemed to take pity. "I suppose I'm not explaining very clearly, I so rarely talk about this."

It took him a moment to realize this was a big revelation - and a trade. A secret to make him comfortable with sharing his own.

"My family knows of course - my nieces always insist I check out their boyfriends," she rolled her eyes. "By now, I only do it when they've proposed. Not that they listened at first, but after Melif took off with that blonde chippie, they took note," she waggled her finger at the wall - a family photo he realized, when all the females cringed.

"But I thought you said you can't see the future?" he hazarded.

"Oh, I didn't. I See beyond disguise, beyond lies and beyond pretense," she said formally. "I Saw that he lied about little things and he was attracted to every woman over fifteen, not a good combination, gormless git," she muttered. "Don't know why the boys won't let me check out their fiancées. Probably afraid I'll See exactly how long they've been deflowered."

Harry felt overwhelmed - and couldn't help but ask. "You wouldn't happen to have any Lovegoods in the family, would you?"

She cocked her head, obviously considering it. "No, not that I'm aware. But with all my great-great grand nieces milling around, maybe…" She interpreted his wide eyes right. "Oh yes, I've been here for a long time - Albus was one of my students you know. I don't suppose I'm around when you are."

Harry started. "I can't-"

She waved a hand, a metallic bracelet jingling lightly. "Oh you don't have to; it's not a bother actually, I've lived a long, full life. It begins to lose some of its mysteries by the end."

"Death is the next great adventure," Harry murmured, half-remembering sitting confused before Dumbledore, pondering the fact Famel had destroyed the stone.

"Wise for one so young - but you have shadows in your eyes," she reverently brushed his hair off his forehead, revealing his scar. He flinched. "You have seen much, that I can tell - so I thought you might want to talk, Harry, Potter's son."

He tried to smile. "That obvious?"

"You do greatly resemble your father, though your attitude is far from his. I'm guessing Lily Evans is your mother?" she asked pleasantly, but rhetorically. "That rascal has been twitterpatted over her for years. It is good, I suppose, to know for certain she will give him a chance."

"Yeah…" and it touched off something in Harry - _he'd never been able to express how awful it had been to watch them in Snape's memory _- "I mean, it's so hard to watch her go on and on about how arrogant he is and annoying and pretentious-"

Allouva laughed. "Don't take it to heart, my dear. Girls tend to complain about boys they like, especially if they have poor traits. Besides I would rather think you agree with her on some points." She smiled at him over her tea cup.

"Well," Harry blushed. "He does brag too much and he doesn't seem to understand modesty at all, but - does she really like him?"

She patted him on the shoulder. "Of course she does. And when he matures a bit, she'll have to admit his finer points. I've seen it over and over again. Teenagers are all about drama." Her eyes twinkled. "Besides, if that boy didn't have to work for her good opinion, he might never be motivated to mature…" She took another sip of her tea. "It must be strange to see them all so young though. You have a rare opportunity Harry - a chance to see how things are for your parents and friends at your own age."

Harry looked down. "I've tried to think of them different from their adult selves, but sometimes-"

Allouva snorted. "I should hope so! If you knew half the trouble Albus got into at your age-"

"Headmaster Dumbledore?" Sure, he knew Dumbledore was wily and had a sense of humor, disappearing from his own office when Umbridge wanted him arrested had certainly proved that, but the idea of him a young troublemaker…

"Of course. And I was rather rash in my youth, Saw all sorts of things and scared the life out of just about everyone I met," despite her words, she seemed rather amused, a distant smile on her face. "But people grow up - sometimes for good, sometimes for bad. It's not always a surprise which, but enough to keep everyone, even me, on my toes."

Harry leaned forward, suddenly urgent. "But there are so many things I know, I just wish I could-" she silenced him with a wave of her hand.

"Youngsters, always so quick to try to fix things," she fixed him with a steady eye. "What will be will come to pass - knowledge can only change a person so much. The heart of someone is far harder to affect. Besides, we are all woven together - changing one decision may save one life, only to doom ten more."

Harry couldn't speak - he didn't want to admit-

"But then, when that one life means the world to us, we would like to close our eyes to the others," she said softly. She let silence fill the room for a moment. "It's not easy to decide when to share what I See. If I told Sirius, James and Remus that befriending a coward was an ill choice when they first met, would they have accused me of denying the fact he could change? Would they have believed me or defied my pronouncement? Or alternatively, befriending a werewolf?"

That was a large nerve for Harry and he straightened in indignation. "But I know-"

She lifted her hand. "But you don't know everything. You don't know why or how-" a few months ago he would've disagreed.

"**You don't understand! He would have killed me, Sirius!"**

**"THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED! DIED, RATHER THAN BETRAY YOUR FRIENDS, AS WE WOULD HAVE DONE FOR YOU!"**

But now…

"**Harry, James wouldn't have wanted me killed! Your dad... your dad would have spared me! He would shown me mercy!"**

And he knew it was true. Watched as they all protected and cosseted him in their brotherhood - and him turn to them in turn.

Her hand rested on his shoulder and he started. "You can not chose their future anymore than they can chose yours."

o

"So how are you doing?" Dumbledore's eyes were keen, even in this holographic form. Harry had had to retreat to the Room of Requirement to get guaranteed privacy - and tell the guys he wanted time to 'recover' from talking with Allouva, something they were all rabid with curiosity about.

"I've been sending letters," he avoided.

Dumbledore gave him time to add, but he said nothing. The older wizard sighed. "Harry, the decision to send you here was a calculated consideration on my part, but ultimately it remains your decision. I can not pretend to fully understand the difficulties you have faced in the past. Additionally, I must say that I may have let my knowledge of your past exploits cloud my own judgement of the dangers you face presently."

Belatedly, Harry realized Dumbledore's eyes were on his arm and he was most likely thinking about the snake incident.

Harry smirked grimly. "I'll survive."

"It is not only your body that is important."

Harry closed his eyes. When Dumbledore had first offered this possibility to him, he hadn't even considered saying no. It was unthinkable. The chance to see Sirius again, to actually meet his parents for the first time - he hadn't imagined anything that could possibly make him decide not to do it. But now he'd come and he faced the implications of his presence - he couldn't warn them, couldn't tell who to trust, who not to trust, couldn't save them. The mere thought made it hard to breath. It had been one thing to make the vow while picturing figments of his imagination (Lily, James, Sirius young) in his mind; it was quite another to live and befriend and laugh with them knowing he could spare them nothing. Some moments he could barely breath with the inevitability of it all pressing on his chest.

Dumbledore went on. "The holidays would be an appropriate time for you to return…"

Harry still didn't look at him. "My cover story is best served by the whole year though, isn't it?"

There was a pause before Harry finally met the Headmaster's gaze. Dumbledore nodded.

"I'm staying," he said, then with only slightly forced cheer, "besides, James has invited me to join him and Sirius at his house for the holidays, since he found out I was planning on staying here."

Clear, blue eyes seemed, as always, to go right through him. "If you're sure," the elder wizard said, after a long moment. "This will be your only chance to cut this year short."

The last thing Allouva had said to him flashed into his mind. **"Don't waste this time by focusing on what you want to change. Memories…they never die."**

"I'm sure."

o

_So hold me when I'm here,_

_Love me when I'm wrong,_

_Hold me when I'm scared,_

_You won't always be there,_

_So love me when I'm gone._

o

It was weird traveling on the Hogwarts Express. With the exception of his Hogsmeade excursion, he'd stayed in the castle, allowing the illusion he was simply in a time-warped Hogwarts. But this venture made him all too aware that he really was completely in the past - a whole different world.

The guys were thrilled it was the holidays and spent the entire trip talking about Christmas plans and parties - Peter moaning loudly about a required Holidays shindig, which involved a lot of snooty neighbors looking down their nose at him and condescendingly comparing him to their kids. Remus, unfortunately, was going to undergo a full moon alone and so Sirius and James were promising him some very 'special' presents. (Harry really didn't want to contemplate what they thought could make up for it.) Harry, for his part, just listened - James had been horrified when he figured out Harry had nowhere to go and had been gushing about everything he could do at his parents' (_grandparents he'd never known_)… Sirius joined in; apparently the Potters were like surrogate parents for him and he wished it didn't _hurt_ hearing how good they'd been to him and James -

Remus, distracting the guys with the news he could hear the sweets carriage coming, squeezed his arm.

"They're trying to distract you," the brunet murmured. "Not rub it in."

Harry looked up into empathetic eyes and wondered just how he was going to get through a week without the werewolf as a mediator.

"Yeah, I know." At least they'd stopped bugging him about what Allouva had wanted to talk to him about.

o

The station was chaos. Harry ducked as a unsteady floating luggage bag nearly rammed into him, its second-year owner shrieking ecstatically at the sight of her parents.

"Careful Flighty," Sirius steadied him. "Underyears tend to get a bit overexited when they see parents around present time. Where yah headed anyway?"

"I promised Lily I'd say goodbye before the holidays."

"Lily flower?" James' head popped up from fiddling with his luggage. He hastily waved his wand, putting a 'do not disturb' spell on them. "Well, by all means, let's go."

"Uh-" but James was already away, clamoring up someone else's luggage to scout out the area.

Sirius laughed. "Shouldn't have mentioned her name if you wanted to go alone."

Harry sighed and giving Remus a quick final goodbye, followed James who'd spotted his target and was now weaving through the crowd. He made good time, getting to Lily only about a minute after James - only to freeze when he realized that Lily was accompanied by two adults.

_His grandparents, the ones who'd accepted a witch daughter, dead in a car crash only a year before he was born - he'd always wondered growing up at the irony of both his grandparents and parents dying the same way - _Sirius slammed into his back and he wobbled.

"Whoa Flighty, some warning if yah gonna stop so quick?" Sirius went around him.

Mr. Evans was grinning - tall, thin-limbed with a shock of paling red hair. "James, always so nice to see you. Been keeping in trouble again this year?"

James pasted an innocent look on his face. "Who, _moi_?" he laid a hand over his heart for a beat, before cocking his head. "Well - is it my fault if boarding school needs some extra excitement I might just be able to provide?"

Lily groaned.

Mrs. Evans however, had turned her attention to the newer arrivals. Shorter and slightly plumper than her husband, the dark blonde woman looked them over benignly. "Hello Sirius, ah and you must be Harry, the newest scoundrel," she beamed.

"Marauder," James, Sirius, and surprise, surprise Lily all corrected. Harry flushed, while Mr. Evans laughed as Lily's mother's smile widened.

"It's nice to meet you - Lily has mentioned you," James immediately straightened and Mr. Evans pressed forward eagerly.

"Is it true you made a whole room of chairs go can-can?" Harry's face just went darker and his tongue tied.

"Not the whole room," James muttered, before his eyes lit on Lily's luggage. "Can I help you with Lily's bag?" he pounced on it, not waiting for an answer, and smiled sweetly at her parents. "I can take this to your car."

Mrs. Evans protested to his back, "You don't have to-"

"No trouble!"

"How long do you think it will take him to find the right car?" Mr. Evans mused aloud, amused while Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Please, he probably memorized the license plate when he stalked us last year," Lily grumbled, folding her arms. Her mother shushed her.

"So polite," she murmured, "Such a nice boy, Lily I really think you exaggerate too much."

"Mom!" Lily protested, blushing. "He's insufferable most of the time!"

"Me think the lady doth protest too much," Sirius stage whispered to her father, who grinned back.

"Oh you know teenage girls, they never like to admit a shine to the bad boy. Why, when Rose was that age-"

"Dad!"

"Patrick!"

Harry couldn't speak - didn't want to, observing this moment of joking, being care free - his grandparents liked James and seeing them smile, his heart was in his throat - and of course someone had to wreak it.

"Well isn't this sweet, all the Muggles and Muggle-lovers in one place." Sirius changed before his very eyes, stiffening, humor draining, stepping forward protectively to face the tall sneering blond flanked by Regulus.

"Narcissist, what are you doing here?" Harry blinked, his mind swiftly making connections. _Narcissa, still Black now but soon to take on the Malfoy name…_

"Doing my family duties and picking up my dear cousin." She put a hand on Regulus' shoulder, who apparently knew better than to add anything. She smiled saccharinely, which promptly left her face as Sirius' next question.

"Oh and how is my dear cousin Andromeda doing?"

"You would know better than I, blood traitor," eyes narrowed at each other, the mutual dislike carved a family resemblance and Harry had to look away. The Evans looked enrapt in the drama, though lost - but Mrs. Evans had obviously registered the insult and she took a step forward, her husband grasping her arm. Instinctively, Harry edged in front of them, drawing Narcissa's eye. She immediately straightened and forced her ire down. "Patterson, I assume?" she said icily. "I've heard about you," her hand tightened on Regulus' shoulder and Harry wondered…"You could've done better."

The implication was obvious. "Funny, I know I did," he said challenging - but she'd also insulted Sirius and Lily and _how much had Malfoy always been a pain in his side…_ "But then, it isn't hard to top Voldemort-lovers." Narcissa went white and Regulus sputtered, immediately going for his wand.

"How dare you-"

Sirius was instantly in front of Harry, his wand out, but pointed at the ground. "Do it and regret it Reg."

"Is anything wrong here?" an older rumble cut across the scene. The tableau froze, the background suddenly re-asserting itself. Narcissa drew Regulus back with a jerk, regaining her patrician bearing.

"Nothing, Mr. Potter," she said clipped. "Nothing at all," her eyes icily skimmed them before dragging the two of them away urgently, foregoing any other pleasantries.

Harry started. Mr. Potter? His heart went into his throat as he looked at the elder wizard before him.

He'd tried to resist it - resist it when he saw Mr. Evans, Mrs. Evans, but he can't help it…he is back, eleven years old -

**They just looked at him, smiling. And slowly, Harry looked into the faces of the other people in the mirror, and saw other pairs of green eyes like his, other noses like his, even a little old man who looked as though he had Harry's knobbly knees.**

**The Potters smiled and waved at Harry and he stared hungrily back at them…**

**And there were his mother and father smiling at him again, and one of his grandfathers nodding happily. Harry sank down to sit on the floor in front of the mirror. There was nothing to stop him from staying here all night with his family. Nothing at all. **

His eyes, ridiculously, were stinging and he'd lost track of the conversation, except Sirius was - apologizing?

His voice low and intent, Sirius was apologizing to the Evans, Lily looking awkward. Mr. Evans shook his head, "Hey, it's nice to know that wizards aren't far advanced beyond us Muggles in everything," he made light. Mrs. Evans stepped forward and gave Sirius' shoulder a squeeze.

"It's hard to resist family prejudices - we should be thanking you," she mused aloud. She murmured something lower, proud?, and Sirius ducked his head. It didn't feel real and Harry felt the need to pinch himself - something he thought he'd gotten past after his first month here.

Mr. Potter and the Evans were introducing themselves, trading sly glances as they commented how much they'd heard about each other's child. Lily looked mortified, a fact not helped when James reappeared, pleasantly flushed.

"Ah, there you are sport. I figured where Sirius was, you couldn't be far behind." James grinned and hugged his father.

"Yup, and I guess you met the Evans," he said casually. Mr. Potter's mouth twitched.

"Yes - but now what about your new friend?" He glanced pointedly at Harry, whose mouth went dry.

James swung an arm around Harry's shoulder. "Da, this is Harry Patterson, otherwise known as Flighty. Harry, my Da." Mr. Potter put out his hand and Harry tried to shake it firmly.

"It's nice to meet you," his eyes twinkled behind glasses and Harry wished, not for the first time, that he had someone in his life that he could hug like James…

"Yeah."

"Well we should be going," Mr. Evans unintentionally came to his rescue. There was a flurry of goodbyes, James trying to insist on accompanying them, even when Sirius dryly pointed out that the Floo stop was in the opposite direction.

Mr. Potter just shook his head, smiling. He caught Harry's eye. "Ready to go?"

Harry wanted to say no.

He wasn't ready to spend Christmas with a family, a real family, his family-

He nodded anyway.

o


	40. Welcome home, Potters

Okay, I've had this part written for forever - I've just had so much trouble with the Christmas part, so that'll have to be next part. (And then there was my full-time job this summer, way tiring.)

o

* * *

Welcome home Potters

* * *

o

o

* * *

He wasn't sure what he was expecting.

Logically, he knew James was well-off, even moderately wealthy. (Harry as least had always been conscious of the pile of Galleons and such in Gringotts when seeing a patch on Ron's robes or yet another hand-me-down.)

But James didn't act that way. He never made a big deal about designer labels or having the best of everything. Some of James' proudest possessions were worn and well-thumbed: his… Sirius was the same, if anything proud in his well-used jeans and robes, most likely as a sign of rebellion against his high class parents.

So whatever Harry had been expecting for James' home, a mansion wasn't it. It was massive, a sprawling giant of red brick and dandelion yellow paint. Grimauld Place most likely looked as imposing from the outside, but where it was foreboding, the Potter Manor exuded warmth and cheerfulness.

Harry was frozen just looking at the sprawling compound. Mr. Potter charmed the bags into following them, while James promptly ditched them all, racing into the house.

"Mum's boy," Sirius muttered with a grin, before following.

Harry jumped when a hand clapped onto his shoulder. Warm brown looked down at him. "Welcome to the Potters," his future grandfather said wryly.

* * *

o

* * *

They caught up with the boys in the kitchen. James was chattering away, a mile a minute, to a diminutive fair-haired woman. Though age had taken the vibrancy of its color, traces of red remained and she smiled fondly at her only son, as she laid a frail hand on her tea cup. She looked bird-like, thin and gaunt besides her vibrant son, but she still greeted Sirius with vigor, her eyes lighting up.

Around them, a small posse of kitchen elves clattered, checking on dishes and doling out tea, murmuring in loud, cheeky voices - a far cry from the few house elves Harry had encountered previously.

He watched in a sense of awe as Mrs. Potter gestured Sirius over, giving him a hug despite half-hearted protests. One kitchen elf, sporting a neon tie-dyed pillow case, poked Sirius and James, announcing they were 'too thin!' in a loud reedy voice. "And they've dragged in another waif!" she (or so Harry presumed) announced.

Mr. Potter laughed and agreed, passing Harry by to give his wife a gentle hug and kiss on the cheek. "I'm sure you'll fatten him up by the end of the holidays Fracy," he said.

The house elf clucked her tongue, sidling up to him for inspection. Eying her warily, Harry missed Mrs. Potter's gesture.

"Oh Fracy, leave him alone for now. Now come here Harry, right?" he looked up. "I have a hard time keeping track of names sometimes - James always refers to everyone by those nicknames of his," she chided James gently and motioned Harry over.

It hadn't really registered that she hadn't met them at the train station. But looking at her, Harry could guess why. Sitting on a padded stool, being fussed over by the elves, dressed in comfortable, lounging pants and a sweater, she looked terribly old to him, despite the youth in her eyes. He couldn't help the morbid thought of wondering how much longer she had.

James' parents had always been a mystery to him. He'd only ever known of his mother's side - and he felt vaguely ashamed he'd never inquired about his paternal grandparent's fates.

Dutifully, he walked over to the Potter matriarch, aware of everyone's eyes on him. "Well, look at you," her eyes were gentle, "I bet my boys have driven you batty these past few months with all their mischief." Her boys?

…**like brothers, they were…**

She squeezed his shoulders. "We're glad you could join us for the holidays though. You are more than welcome." Harry's throat was tight and he had trouble swallowing. But Mrs. Potter just clapped her hands. "So, where would you like to sleep? We certainly have guest rooms, but Sirius has his own room and he more often than not ends up conked out in a weird stretch on James' bean bag chairs," Sirius actually flushed a little and Mrs. Potter fluttered her hands, "I know, you're used to bunking together - so we've already expanded his room some and we can always add another bed."

Harry wasn't expecting the offer. "I don't want to be a bother-" he hedged.

"Just set him up in his own room," Sirius threw out, "Flighty here loves his privacy." It was true, as the guys well knew, but that didn't change the bite in Sirius' voice and the fact - every summer, when he woke up that first night away from the dorms, such a terrible aloneness settled into his bones at the sound of only his own breathing -

"I'll bunk with them," Harry announced, ignoring Sirius' curious look.

* * *

o

* * *

Harry had lived in a home once before, when he spent the end of summer with the Weasleys. It had been an overwhelming experience, magical in so many different ways. Magic mixed with housework, crazy rambunctious siblings, an absent-minded father, a doting mother… It had been so different from anything he'd experienced. He'd always imagined how it would've been if he had parents and the Weasleys had definitely shifted that vision over the years.

James' house wasn't close. The house was big and well-decorated, but sparse compared to the Weasley's barely-contained chaos. It certainly contained loving parents, but James' privilege showed, not the least in how he was doted on as the only son. Sirius was included almost like some kind of more rascally twin of James.

It was too surreal for him to keep the realization this was his family, in the future - the past, in mind. He watched as the household cosseted Mrs. Potter, a genial smile blossom and remain on Mr. Potter's face, Sirius awkwardly restraining himself under gentle parental disapproval, James plot with his father and spend hours regaling his mother with stories. He marveled at them, a subdued bystander.

And yet… he couldn't deny the tiny whisper inside, _this could've been mine…_

James recalled him of course, and would spirit them all away for Harry's practice. Sirius tried to convince Harry that meditating out in the cold would be more useful, but James (thankfully) told Sirius if he felt that way, he could sit out there and freeze his bum off without him. Inside or out - it didn't actually make a difference; Harry simply couldn't concentrate. Every time he sat down to meditate all he could think about was Sirius (Sirius!) ducking his head at Mrs. Potter's tsking, her pale dark-veined hands, Mr. Potter's graying hair (_James wouldn't live that long…_), James off-handedly announcing that he'd prefer a cottage to this mansion -

_Homes he'd never known…_

But the only excuse he gave them for his lack of progress was he could only concentrate with Remus.

* * *

o

* * *

He couldn't sleep.

That made the third night of insomnia. He lay in his bed, hearing the throaty snore of Sirius, James' occasional shifting, watching the light of the nearly full moon trace the ceiling.

He felt too full to sleep; memories played in his mind, vying for permanence. He no longer feared sleeping for waking from a dream, but now closing his eyes and forgetting.

He wasn't going to fall asleep anytime soon, so he got up. Ron was the one who had introduced him to the idea of a midnight snack. He didn't really feel hungry, but perhaps a cup of tea… He made his way through the silent, dark halls, feeling his way down the stairs. It was cold in the night and he was thankful that Mrs. Potter had provided him house slippers.

Turning into the kitchen, he blinked.

Mrs. Potter sat on one of the high stool, legs curled in fleece night clothes, silhouetted in moonlight. She was looking far out into a window. The moonlight and repose smoothed the contours of her face, wisping her hair so that she looked ethereal. He didn't want to disturb her, but after a moment, she turned to gaze out him calmly.

"It's so peaceful at night, isn't it? Even here in London," she mused aloud. "I remember late nights at Hogwarts - it's different of course, but sometimes I think I can hear the wind rustling in those trees." Instead of waiting for a reply, she waved a hand to a seat next to her. "Come, sit with an old woman."

Feeling off-kilter, he yet obeyed. "I couldn't sleep," he blurted out, before abruptly sitting.

"Yes, well Sirius does snore like a hibernating bear." The contrast of dry humor made him laugh and she smiled.

"It's good to hear you laugh. You're more solemn than my boys - I suppose like Remus." He stilled and she patted his hand. "I'm a bit glad, my dear has such high spirits and then put him with Sirius, ah! I have to admit I'm a little glad they met at a slightly older age."

Harry could only nod. They lapsed into quiet for a few moments.

"It's nice having you all home the holidays. We spent many holidays without in the beginning," she said finally. "Charlus, of course, never said anything, but this place, it is so big for two. I always remember that when James is away."

She was looking out the window again and he nodded absently, his mind wandering to his summers alone, isolated from the only ones who cared for him.

She brushed his hand again and he looked up into her eyes. "I have a feeling you know something of that…" His breath caught in his throat, "Though I doubt you know just how happy a child makes a couple," with infinite gentleness, "worth anything."

It was too much and he had to look away, around for a distraction, springing up. "I actually came down to make a cup of tea, would you like some?"

"When is one not up for some nice tea?" she said, still with warmth, - Harry was already reaching for the kettle as she continued, "-but you shouldn't-"

His finger brushed the kettle's handle and there was a sharp crack in the air. Fracy appeared, quivering with rage.

"What are You DOING?" He stumbled back and nearly upset the kettle. Fracy, tied-dyed pillow case nearly glowing in the moonlight, snapped her fingers, calling the kettle and tucked the wrought iron kettle under her arm like a child. "None makes tea but me!" Her eyes swiveled to Mrs. Potter's bundled up form. "Especially for Mistress Dorthea," she finished, lowering her voice.

"Uh-"

"I'm sure he knows better now Fracy," Mrs. Potter said soothingly. "No need to be hard on the new young one." Fracy muttered, snubbing Harry in favor of carefully placing the kettle back on the stove. With a flick of her fingers, the heat spiraled on and a tea bag launched itself from a cupboard into the kettle, the lid disengaging to let it do so.

Harry meekly sat back down. Mrs. Potter laughed lightly. "I'm afraid Fracy's a bit possessive of the kettle," she whispered conspiratorially. Fracy's ear flaps quivered and Harry thought better of responding, though honestly, he bet it had more to do with 'Mistress' loyalty.

Fracy bustled around them, muttering to herself, and they ended up sipping their tea under her keen eye. Fracy insisted on accompanying the Mistress up to her bedroom, the two thin forms walking side by side up the stairs, which kinder Harry couldn't tell. Harry was thankful to return to his room.

It was strange, he reflected sleepily, how sometimes kindness hurt more than scorn.

o


End file.
